Thursday, August 09, 2007

Get Out of That State, Get Out of That State You're In

Here are some red snapdragons and lavender from the front of my house.

In the interest of pulling my head out of my ass, I thought I'd get a project going. You know, something to take my mind off certain dwelling and self-indulgent behaviors? It's not that I'm trying to be all in denial and pretend that everything's fine, it's more that I have to go to work and be a mom and function and get shit done. It's not like when I was twenty and I could afford the time to lie around smoking too much cheeb and eating ice cream and listening to The Cure and feeling so put upon and misunderstood or whatever the hell I did when I was younger and my relationships failed. The girls will spend most of the weekend in the Quad Cities eating mole and sopa and tamales at their dad's family reunion, so there will be plenty of time for self-destructive behavior then. Then I have the next week off and after that, the girls go back to school. Holy shit! What the hell happened to the Summer?

My project involves a couple of things I was gonna do and either half-did, or didn't quite get to. So, in the next week, I'm going to work on cleaning out all of my old crap in my house and get my brand spankin' new own room/woman space all in order. I took the first step toward that today. No, I wasn't up for doing anything that required physical or emotional energy, so there was no cleaning or organizing and only a little bit of deciding that I did. After we got done with Coadster's high school registration and went somewhere and had appetizers for lunch, we then went bed shopping. Lebeda was having a HUGE sale and even though I spent a little more than I wanted, I got a super, duper, kick-ass, queen size bed. Hooray. They're even going to deliver it to my house next Thursday. I'm sure I'll feel like cleaning and reorganizing our bedrooms before then, right?

Oh yeah. The other thing I was going to say, was how great it is to have kids sometimes. Like when you go running in the late afternoon and it's really too hot for it and so when you get home, all you want to do is take a shower and put your jammies on at 5:30 in the evening. Then too late, you realize that you still have to get a few things at the store, but all you have to do is give your kid a couple of bucks and she'll be happy to run in and get all your crap for you, so you don't have to do anything too crazy like change into normal clothes or anything...Not that I would know from personal experience, but I've heard from some lame-ass somewhere that it's pretty great when your kids will do that for you.


Not Fainthearted said...


and don't forget to take time to be all pissy and moany over Mr. Dateman. It sucks that it didn't work and that's worth at least a little grief.

Oh. And that comment about it taking both kinds of intimacy. You're freakin' right on. I've just had neither for so long I'd been focusing on the one and forgot about how nice the other was, too.

hang in there, sister.

Les said...

Sorry to hear about mr dateman...perhaps you need to get a t sirt that says
'If you have bagage dont waste my time'
Did you end up being able to afford to buy a place?

michelle said...

Sometimes teenage daughters will run into the shop for you. Usually though, you have to bribe them by telling them they can grab some kind of junk food crap for themselves while they're at it. Either that or threaten to take away their cell phone.

Mr Atrocity said...

Hey Churlita. Having a project is, in my experience, the best way to work through almost any emotional crisis. Your upper brain has something to focus on so it doesn't get driven mad by your subconscious working things through which, as pretty much everyone knows, takes a while. Throw yourself into doing stuff that either needs to get done, or that you want to do.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I go through the same thing. When things are hard (or when Chef and I broke up a billion times) I found some awesome comfort in having my children with me but also couldnt wait for them to go to their dad's so I could break down and veg out and get through a weekend alone in self pity and icecream and bad television so that I can cope when they return. It gets easier.

Tara said...

I love tamales. My brother prepared some a few years ago for a Christmas meal. I've been hooked on them ever since.

Brando said...

You could clear some brush. That apparently allows you to ignore any crisis, no matter how urgent.

I really had to laugh at the Cure reference. That was always the "I've been hurt" soundtrack.

Good luck with the project.

evil-e said...

Enjoy the new space of your own. That should be a really good project to keep you a little distracted from other things.

Dagromm said...

I've needed a new bed for a while now. Unfortunately the sales never seem to coincide with the times in which I have extra cash available.

booda baby said...

I'm really sorry you feel hurt or wounded in any way and that a nice relationship doesn't have room to grow. Now you can take back your admiration and applause of his wonderful character traits and spend them on YOU.

Kinda like a new bed. It always seems like it's too expensive, too self indulgent to give them to yourself, but you get all generous with a new romance interest and then you realize - fuckin' hell. I deserve some of that same luxury.

Yah. That's what I think today. :)

Melanie said...

how soon can kids drive? because, mine is four, and I kinda dont trust his depth perception yet.

congrats on your own room. I live in a studio apartment, and kinda jealous of yaz.

Margaret said...

kids can really rain on a pity party

Churlita said...


I'm hanging. I'm just inconsistently hanging, is all.


At my age, everyone has baggage.

I'm still working on trying to buy a house.


I was happy to give her a couple of bucks for herself.

Mr Atrocity,

I've never been very patient with the process. I just want to be over it now, and I know that's not possible.


It's actually nice to have both.


Me too. Unless they're too dry.


Clearing brush, huh? Maybe I'll try that.


That's exactly what I'm hoping for.


I hope that all works out for you soon.

Booda Baby,

Luxury would be very nice. I'll work on that.


She didn't drive. I drove, but she ran in and got the goods.


Yeah, they make you have to function and stuff.

l.b. said...

haha! I am so one of those lame moms who make my kids run into the store for me. Hey, I gave them the gift of life...the least they could do is run into 7-11 and get me a dang coffee!
Enjoy your new woman space :-)