Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

I'm way in the back of the pic, to the left, wearing black.

So, we did a time trial race last night. That's the kind of bike racing one would do in a triathlon. The Guy built me up a time trial bike, but I didn't have the special clothes or helmet. I had only ridden the time trial bike about two times before the race, so I didn't have the gears and stuff all down.

The evening ended up being VERY windy and so cold there were actual wind chill readings. I'm not used to racing in that kind of wind and wasn't used to riding my new bike, so I had a little anxiety about the race in general.

After the starter counted down to zero, I went on my way into the strong wind. It felt ridiculously hard just to pedal, but I was in my easiest gear, so I told myself to breathe deeply and carry on. At one point, after a particularly strong gust of wind as I was going up a small hill, I thought I might have to stop, it was so hard. I just slowed down a little and recovered and kept on keepin'on.

At the halfway turn around point, I finally had a tailwind. I went to change into the bigger (harder) chain ring and discovered that I had really been in it all along. Derrrr. I could have made my life so much easier all the way there, but instead, I had to mash as hard as I could against the wind.

Even with that, my time was better than it was last August, and I was about right in the middle as far as places were concerned for all of the women. In the master's women category, I got first out of two. It meant that I got a $10 gift card to the co-op, and canceled out the $10 registration fee. Score!

Of course The Guy did really well. He was 5th overall and 2nd in his category. Woot!

For Long You Live and High You Fly

My hyacinth - complete with garden bugs on it.

When Coadster was very young, she used to get upset and I'd work with her on her breathing to help calm her down. "Okay. Let's try it. Take long, deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth."

Because Coadster is about the most stubborn person I've ever met, she eventually told me, "No! I won't breathe and you can't make me!" I would try really hard not to laugh, while in my head thinking,

"Okay, then. You stop breathing and let me know how that works out for you..."

I'm sure you like looking at photos of my bleeding heart(s).

No one ever learns how to breathe, they just get a slap on the ass, and on they go...Breathing. But like everything, there are ways to screw it up...And if there's a way to screw something up, chances are, I'm really, really good at it.

When I was a patient advocate at the clinic, I helped people breathe their way through uncomfortable procedures. The correct technique can calm a person down and help them manage their pain. The wrong kind of breathing can do just the opposite.

I'm fine if I'm doing moderate exercise at a decent speed, but when I try to keep up with the faster kids and start to push my limits, my breaths become faster and more shallow to match my leg speed. What that does, is keep me from getting the good red blood cells from the bottom of my lungs to my muscles, my legs start to fatigue, I don't get enough carbon dioxide out, it makes me panicky and eventually will cause me to cry and slow WAY down. Once, when Coadster and I were in an accident and I had a severe concussion, I hyperventilated so badly, that it seemed as though I was having a seizure, and the nurse literally made me breathe into a paper bag.

Now that I'm taking myself completely out of my comfort zone for speed in running and biking, I've become all too aware of how badly I breathe during a hard effort. So, now I'm trying to teach myself to breathe better. I am working on taking long, slow breaths that come from the diaphragm and are exhaled completely. I am finally following my own advice. I have no idea how well I'll do during races, when I'm exhausted and not thinking straight and can't remember my own name, let alone how to practice "low" breathing, but I'm going to try. A long, deep breath. In through the nose, and out through the mouth. It seems like such a simple thing...

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.

I'm not quite sure if Archie is hung-over here, or if he just has a lot on his mind right now...

It Keeps You Runnin'. Yeah, It Keeps You Runnin'

Here's me trudging through the Spillway on my 25K

So, last Saturday The Guy and I ran our 25K part trail race. It was interesting...

The race started off well. I felt strong, I was keeping up with some of the faster people and it was warm out...A little too warm.

I handled the first trail section and then we hit the road toward Solon. There was one guy who kept trying to run with women and since we were going at a similar pace, I got to hear him creeping on every woman he could, with the same stories and lines, "Yeah. I've been in the air force for over twenty years, so I'm used to do this with a full pack on my back..." After the third or fourth woman, I wanted to head him off at the pass and just say his line for him. Who ever thought of an endurance race as a place to pick-up women?

The Guy finishing up his race on the last trail.

After the 8th or ninth mile, I realized I had been going way too fast, and I was weak and hot. I tried to slow down and I had a belt with bottles of Heet I was drinking throughout the race, but it was too late. I was suddenly so weak and tired, I could barely walk, let alone run. I kept plugging along and even puked at one point, until I got to about the 13th mile mark, where we went through the finish line and were supposed to continue on, but I just couldn't. I felt like I was going to pass-out.

I went back to the car where The Guy was. He had just finished the race a five minutes or so before, and he was changing and was planning to wait for me. I felt so horrible. I was exhausted and weak and embarrassed and pretty much broke down and cried the minute I saw him.

The Guy was wonderfully supportive, as usual. We sat on the grass for a while and he made me drink water. He wanted me to eat, but I was afraid I'd just puke it back up. After we got in the car and started driving home, I got even worse. I was super hot and my vision was all wonky and I realized that I was passing out. I crawled in the back of The Guys car and fainted back there. I came to at some point and kept drinking water and took a shower and then a nap and then drank more.

So, lesson learned? The next time I do an endurance race, don't try and keep up with marathoners and train by running longer distances, so I can get a better feel for how fast I should go. I did love the race and I plan on doing it again next year.

Love Is All Around, No Need to Waste It.

Here's me after my first bike race of the season.

So, I road raced for the first time in a long time. I only did 3 last year and each one I was either last or second to last and I'm pretty sure I got dropped from the pack first almost every race. Since I've been trying to actually train this season, my goal was to stay with the pack for the entire race. I didn't reach my goal, but I was the last person to get dropped from the pack and I had them in my sights until the very end. I was 10th out of 15. Not bad for me, and I think I can build on it.

Here is The Guy up close and personal after the race.

The Guy was recovering from a cold, so he didn't do as well as he wanted, but it's the first race of the year for most of us, so no one took it all that seriously.

The race was held out in the country by Hills, Ia. It was part VERY hilly gravel and part pavement, with 30 mile per hour winds. My ass was officially kicked by the end of it.

After the race, we went out for Mexican food and came home and took a nap. Even after the nap, I was pretty wrecked. We watched some Mary Tyler Moore episodes. The Guy has the firs two seasons. The Guy and I were talking about for people our age, MTM has to be one of the ultimate nostalgia shows...Along with The Carol Burnett Show and M*A*S*H*.

Here's our dorky after-race self-portrait.

On Sunday, we took our time getting going and then drove to the trails we will be racing on next week. We did about 10 miles of the course. The Guy felt pretty good, but my legs were still dead from the bike race the day before.

In the evening, The Guy went to play pool with his friend Bry and Stinky and I were finally going to watch the movie, Tangled together. Of course, 20 minutes into it, one of Stinky's friends showed up and off she went. I went ahead and finished watching the movie by myself. I thought it was pretty damn cute.

Hey Baby, We Like Your Pants

Here are some turkey tracks in the snow.

I've been a baaad blogger so far this week. I took yesterday off work, because it was in the 60's here and I wanted to bask in it. It was lovely.

Today we have sexual harassment training. I think they should really call it anti-sexual harassment training, because I doubt they will teach us to tell our male bosses to wear tighter pants, so we can throw pens down in front of them and watch them bend down and pick them up. If I'm wrong on that, I'll be sure to report back.

And Feed Them On Your Dreams

Archie is a cranky old cat, when he first wakes up.

Last night I went on a lovely run with my friend E. after work. When I got home, Stinky was working on her financial aid form. Since it was her first time, she had used a .com address, instead of a .gov. She was on some page that looked like the FAFSA, but turned out to be something that you were supposed to pay for in the end. She had almost finished filling it out, before we figured out what was wrong. So, then she had to fill out the real form. Poor thing.

Heidi is such a pretty girl.

Luckily, Coadster called right when we needed her, and she helped Stinky get it all done. Coadster seemed pretty happy to help. She always likes to think that Stinky and I are helpless without her, even though it isn't true...For the most part.

Archie checking out the tea tray The Guy brought in for me on Sunday morning. Don't worry, he didn't fall in.

Tonight The Guy and I are taking Stinky out for her birthday dinner almost 6 months late. She went to a football game on her actual birthday, and then when Coadster and her boyfriend came home that weekend, Stinky forgot to ask for the time off of work. So, we went to dinner without her and then let her know later how nice her birthday meal had been. We're really sweet like that.

Anyway, we're finally making up for it tonight. She wants to go to a place called Blackstone and asked if she could order the appetizer of cheese they set on fire and everyone has to yell, "opa!" before they put it out. She likes to live on the edge, that one.

Like the Trembling Heart of a Captive Bird

Here are some docks on a frozen lake.

And yesterday, I was exhausted. Not surprising after my weekend, but I had a hard time staying awake at work. The Guy was also feeling pretty tired. So, we just gave us another Get Out of Jail Free card night.

I had leftover salmon and brie left, so we just cut up some red onions and got some greens and put the salmon and brie on bread and toasted it all up and then served it with some roasted red potato soup. It turned out very, very well.

I made a pot of lentil soup for tonight, but didn't really feel like doing a whole hell of a lot else. I asked The Guy if he wouldn't mind watching Play Misty for Me and he was all for it.

I hadn't seen that movie in forever.It is definitely of its time (1971). Clint Eastwood is a super cheesy DJ who plays jazz and recites poetry over the air. It's not hard to understand why someone would want to kill him...Just kidding. Like The Guy said, all cheese aside, that movie had plenty of things going for it. I'm assuming a lot of Fatal Attraction was taken from it.

I'd Give You EVerything and More and That's for Sure

Here I am at the spillway on our trail run this Sunday.

I will blog about our weekend tomorrow, but today? Today it is Valentine's Day. This is what it looks like at our house:

The Guy: (greeting me in the kitchen this morning) I've got a Valentine's present for you...

Me: Really? Is it in your pants?

The Guy: Well, yeah.

Me: Okay. I have a present for you too then...

Apparently, we are both classy AND romantic.

Here is The Guy on the other side of it.

And the Wind Ain't Blowin' From the South.

Here is part of a stone church in the snow.

I started reading Barbara Kingsolver's, Lacuna last night. It takes place in Mexico. I think it will be the perfect way to combat the below zero wind chills we're supposed to get by tonight. If that doesn't work, we will probably watch The Big Easy tonight. I haven't seen it since it first came out, but as I recall, everyone walks around in sweat stained shirts...Plus, an '80's Dennis Quaid should be hot enough to defy any Iowa Winter, right?

I've been having weird, insecure dreams lately. When I was younger and didn't know how to drive, I would have "feeling out of control" dreams that I was driving a motorcycle on an old logging road in Northern California...The kind that can sometimes just end without warning. Now, I dream of f*cked-up races I find myself in. One was that I was in a bike race that took place inside the hospital where I used to work. We raced through the hallways, trying to avoid patients and carts full of expensive equipment. In another dream, I was doing a triathlon and I kept forgetting that I was racing and would stop and talk to my friends, until someone would remind me and I would find myself further and further behind. Hmmmmm. It appears that the ass end of Winter is weighing heavily on me once again.

As the Days Fly Past, Will We Lose Our Grasp, Or Fuse It In the Sun?

Here is an Iowa Winter scene.

When we were running through Hickory Hill Park on Saturday, it reminded me of the last time I went sledding there. Here is a repost from 2005, where I wrote about it:

Yesterday Stinky and I went sledding at Hickory Hill Park. The hill was packed with a lot of kids from Stinky's school and since we got there later in the day, according to the laws of sled hill seniority, we had to hang out on the bad side of the hill. What makes that side of the hill so bad is that there is this odd looking man hole cover thing that rises almost a foot out of the ground in the middle of the field at the bottom of the hill. It's pretty dangerous and I wish they would surround it with hay bails or something but instead, they just tried to mark it with a tall rusty pole that someone painted green.

Stinky and I got on the sled (she was in the back and I was in the front) and scooched ourselves with our hands and feet far enough off the top of the hill so the sled could start zipping down unaided. We were riding one of those inflatable sleds that look kind of like an inner tube but are impossible to steer. Of course, we plowed right into the pole and slammed into the manhole cover thing. Stinky had the foresight to slip back behind the sled before we hit it, but I held on, thinking it might give me some cushion. Once I hit the manhole cover, I was propelled upside down and hit the ground on my head, neck and shoulder and then the whole right side of my body slammed down after.

There was a couple cross-country skiing right by there when we crashed. The woman stopped and asked me if I was okay. I think I said something like, "Huh? Oh yeah. Um, I think I hit my head." Then she started getting on my shit about the pole and how I needed to put it back in the ground so that no one else made the same mistake. Yeah, even if I had been together enough, I wouldn't have worried about it. The problem has never been that people can't see the manhole cover, it was always more that it's hard to steer around it. I told her that the pole caused more pain than the manhole cover did. Then she got all exasperated and put down her ski poles.

"I guess, I'll just have to do it then." She tried, but of course the ground was frozen and it wouldn't work and then she gave me a dirty look. Whatever. I already told her I hit my head, if she wanted to judge me for being stupid and lame, she was going to have to get at the back of a long, long line.

I could tell Stinky was really worried about me so I told her I was fine but that we had to go home. Then halfway back up the hill, I started to cry. I have no idea why, I wasn't in that much pain. I think I may have been startled more than anything. Stinky has hardly ever seen me cry so that worried her even more and I felt like shit for making her worry. Plus, I was really embarrassed because I was crying and it was so cold that all the tears and snot froze and I had that hideous glazed doughnut face.

Because of the way the trails were laid out, as we were nearing the end of the woods, we crossed paths with the bitchy, judgmental woman again. She gave me one of those, overly concerned, condescendingly, pitying looks and I was so glad I didn't have tourettes because in my head I was screaming, "Quit friggin', frickin', fucking looking at me!"

We got home and I was fine. I made an appointment to see my chiropractor and I have some impressive bruises, but I didn't break anything. I do feel like it might be a smart time to start hibernating, though.

Turning Into My Soul

Hmmmm...

I'm not one much for labels. They only seem to cover one part of a person, but The Guy likes to tell me I'm an endurance athlete. I think that's pretty accurate, in many different ways.

I've lived most of my life, having to endure things. I'm not particularly patient, but I am diligent and if there is one thing I can do, it's endure. When I was younger, I endured the death of my mom, and the indentured servitude of my abusive legal guardians, my "lost" angry years, an abusive marriage (since I thought that's what I deserved) and the four years I spent reading, journaling and working on my self-esteem issues and insecurities, so that I would never again think I deserved an abusive relationship.

I counted down the hours and days until Stinky regained consciousness from her meningitis, and the minutes that seemed like hours for the tornado to slam into our basementless house and move on.

Here is a lone boxcar.

So, now that I know I can do it and I try to actively keep as much bad stuff out of my life as I can control, I don't worry so much about being happy and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead, I count the minutes of my brutal trainer work-out or the miles of my relaxing after work run. Every once in a while, I regret the time I wasted in bad situations in the past, but mostly, I'm too busy "enduring" the fun and athletic life I've worked so hard to create.

So Will You Catch Me Now I'm Falling

The Guy at the top of the hill I was about ready to herring bone up.

This three day weekend was lovely for the most part. On Friday we had some people over for fish tacos. We ate and drank and talked and knew it was time to go to bed after our friend S.'s boyfriend started doing his Tom Waits impersonation and we couldn't stop laughing.

On Saturday, we got up and The Guy went to the cross-country ski trails and I stayed home and did a work-out for an hour on the bike trainer. He came back with good news. There was enough snow to ski on. We headed to the trails and skied until it got dark. It was so very nice.

We stopped at the Dublin for a drink and a pool game or two on the way home. I actually won my first pool game ever. Yea!

I had made up a pan of lasagna before we left to ski, so all I had to do was put it in the oven and put the beet salad together and we were ready to eat. We watched Midnight in Paris. Woody
Allen can be pretty hit and miss with me, but I thought this movie was just good escapism.


The Guy all lousy with cats. Archie wants to touch Heidi with his paw so badly, but he doesn't want her to get up and move away either. Poor guy.

We went skiing bright and early on Sunday morning, since we knew that the snow was going to melt by afternoon. Of course, I forgot how exhausted I'd be after working-out for 3 hours the day before. By the time we had skied for almost 2 1/2 more hours, I was so tired that I forgot all function or form and fell hard on my back down a hill. I heard a loud cracking sound from my neck and my left arm suddenly felt very, very hot. I was dizzy, but I could move my fingers, so I got up and slowly, VERY slowly, skied back to where we were parked. It was pretty scary.

The Guy took me out for sushi for lunch, but we decided to nix our later afternoon swimming plans and just took a nap instead. We had leftover lasagna for dinner and then The Guy went to play pool with his friend Bry, while I laid around on the couch and read my Prohibition book.

Yesterday I woke up sore and had some whiplash. Luckily, I didn't have to go to work yesterday. I needed the rest. I'm taking at least another recovery day, before I try to work-out again. It's not hard to listen to your body, when it's screaming at you, is it?

Raise Your Head and Wear Your Wounds With Pride

This is what the floor looked like when we started - all full of carpet backing and whatever they used to stick the carpet on with.

So, before the holiday starts, I thought I'd finally do a post from last weekend....Which I obviously didn't finish or really start much at all.

Here it is all sanded. It was a bitch to scrape all that black stuff off without ruining the floor.

Sooo, now that Thanksgiving is over, I'll finally post last weekend's entry. As you can see, we finally finished the floor in Coadster's old room with a lot of help from our friends' Jo Ann and Stacy. They were so wonderful to come over and use up at least 4 hours of their Saturday.

Here is the finished product. So lovely and that made it worth the work.

I wasn't able to go to my friend T-Rip's wedding, since this took way longer than I thought (like everything does).

On Sunday I raked leaves for an elderly woman. Lots and lots of leaves.

When I finally finished that, it was time to play. We went to the mountain bike trails and rode all around Lake MacBride. Beautiful.

Very beautiful.

It's Different Now That I'm Poor and Aging

Here is a picture of Heidi getting ready to give Archie the smack-down. You really can't blame her.

I have a longer weekend post coming, but we're too busy at work for me to finish that today.

Instead I will share a lovely text exchange I had with the oldest. I texted her to make sure she was going to eat dinner with me and The Guy tonight and to tell her I love her. This was her response:

I am going to have dinner with you guys! I love you too! Your cat just threw up.

Apparently, Archie doesn't deserve any exclamation points. Poor cat.

Burnin' a Special Substance. They gonna Pray for that Man

Archie in a box.

I have so much planned for the weekend, but I have no idea what I'll actually be able to fit into it.

Archie making a fort out of his box.

So, right now, all you get are adorable cat pics. I'm not sure whether to say, "Sorry" or "you're welcome."

Yes, the beer is called Lunasea, Hmmm.

Coadster should be home this weekend. I spent most of last night at a banquet for Stinky's youth group, where I met many perky christians. Not that there's anything wrong with that...But I did watch an episode of Dexter when I got home, just to balance things out.

I hope you all have a great weekend and that it is less busy than mine. I'm leaving work an hour early, to go rake leaves, since tomorrow is the last day the city will come and pick them up for free.

Raise the Roof and Have Some Fun

Here is a pretty bridge over pretty leaves. Fall is pretty in Burlington, Iowa.

So, my alone time, sitting on my ass watching Dexter last night was very lovely. I feel recharged and ready to take on the weekend activities.

Me hopping on my bike after jumping over a barrier.

The weekend activities look like this:

Tonight - get off work, frost pumpkin bars, pick-up a girl or two, run to a quick pumpkin carving party, leave a half hour later, pick-up The Guy, head to a sushi dinner with another couple, come home, pass-out.

Saturday - Wake-up, eat breakfast, get bikes and selves ready, head to a cyclocross race in North Liberty, race, come home, possibly nap, meet up with brother and sister-in-law and a couple of others for dinner, come home, pass-out.

Sunday - Wake-up, eat breakfast, get bikes and selves ready for the second day of the bike race in North Liberty, race, come home, head to a friend's house to help her work on her house, come home, pass-out.

Got it? Good.

A Thousand Years in One Piece of Silver.

Heidi fell asleep using "A Filed Guide to Iowa's Birds" as her pillow. I hope she had sweet dreams.

So, today I will drop some bookish names. Partly, because I love it when other people do it on their blogs and I get more reading suggestions, and partly because it is part of my story.

Yesterday RJT of Illiterati blog updated her FB status, raving about how wonderfully engrossing Justin Cronin's books are. She was talking about The Passage, in particular, but others were talking about all of his work. So, I Googled him and read some reviews. When I read that it was another vampire story, I almost stopped there. Not that I don't love vampires as much as everyone else, but I'm starting to reach my saturation point with them. I read on, and review after review complained about houses going to hell and marriages dissolving because the book was THAT distracting and addictive.

Archie was a little cranky that I was on the other side of the screened in porch from him. Big baby.

Even though I'm still only about 200 pages into the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon, and I have a to-read list about a mile long, I decided I must possess The Passage. I checked out Amazon and they had it for about $10 (not including shipping). Because I like to try to support local businesses, I stopped off at our local, independent book store, Prairie Lights over my lunch break.

I walked in and my favorite employee, Paul was working. He is just as big a book nerd as I am, and we are always happy to see each other. He came over and gave me a hug and asked me what I wanted. I told him and he said, "Oh, then. let's go upstairs and get you a signed copy of that." We walked up and another employee who I really like and on who's suggestion I bought Anne Patchett's latest book, State of Wonder, was working. I'm always happy to see her, as well. I got my book and looked inside and it was a first edition, paperback. Because it is signed, it might actually be worth some money someday.

I'm not exactly sure what the moral of this story is, except that for 4 more dollars, I got a free hug, and a signed first edition paperback. Not too bad at all.

He Told Us Not to Blow It. Cuz He Knows It's All Worthwhile.

Coadster making the same cheese ball face I always make in pictures. I guess there's no fighting city hall, is there?

Since it's been a little while, I thought I'd catch you all up on a few things in my life. Things are going just swimmingly.

Coadster seems happy in Ames and doing well in her classes. She calls me almost every day. Of course, The Guy always laughs at how short my phone conversations with her (and everyone else) are. She'll tell me what's going on, I'll tell her what's going on. We'll make fun of the cats and talk about whether we should worry about Stinky and then I'm ready to go. Thank god my girls have known me their whole lives and don't take it personally that any phone call with me will last 5 minutes if they're lucky. Yes. I am THAT lame.

I've also been working on Coadster's room. Last week I scrubbed the walls, removed all the hardware, patched up and sanded off any holes and I plan to prime and paint and rip up carpet in there this weekend. We're not sure exactly what we'll use it for. It will be a spare room for guests, and probably a sanctuary for The Guy to escape the estrogen flying around the house whenever he needs it...Which could be all the time.

Stinky all dressed up in USA themed clothes for the first high school football game this year. Every game has a different theme.

Stinky is in her senior year in high school and seems to finally be getting down to business. She's such a smart girl, but such a lazy student. She is working a lot, but still seems to get her homework done and in on time. Whew!

My friend's newly built tree house. Her boys love it.

The Guy and I are doing just great. We're training for my triathlon in a couple of weeks lately. He may or may not do it with me, but he's been great about helping me figure out the course and swimming, biking, running it with me and not making fun of me when I'm practically crawling at the end of it.

We had some friends over for black bean chili and corn bread for dinner last night and I made mojitos with fresh mint from my garden last night. It was so nice to hang out with my girlfriends and my boyfriend and have such great talks and laugh that hard. Who knows if it will last or what will happen tomorrow, but right now, I am as happy as a clam. I like to be aware of that while it's happening. I never want to take it for granted.

So Smile for a While and Let's be Jolly.

Today it was ridiculously hot here. The roses didn't seem to mind, but the cats did a lot of lying around.


Tomorrow is my first bike race. I came home from the Monday night ride last night, wired and overwhelmed with crap I either needed to do, or thought I needed to worry about. I didn't get much sleep at all. I woke up about 5:30, feeling like poop. I had a good talk with The Guy about stressing out about stupid shit. He was, of course, wonderful and supportive as ever. I decided I was too tired to be any good at work, so I called in and stayed home.

I went back to bed and woke up again in the afternoon, feeling a ton better. I took some time to myself to play in the dirt and plant some marigolds, snap dragons, gerbera daisies and a black forest calla lily. You would not believe (or maybe you would) how much better you can feel about your world in general after you get your hands dirty and plant pretty flowers. I highly recommend it.