So, Stinky and I met my family at the State Fair to celebrate my aunt's seventieth birthday. Contemplating the enormity of someone turning seventy, made me think about her previous year. Which led me to wonder if, by the time I'm that age, will I finally be mature enough not to try and get people to ask how old I am so I can respond, "Sixty-nine, baby. All. Year. Long." God, I hope so.
This year at the Fair, I realized that it wasn't quite as family friendly as I had once thought. Iowa is wonderfully bizarre on so many levels, but did they really need to have a gigantic box of corn for my two year old niece to recreate her favorite "rolling around in food" scene from the movie Tommy?
After that, I started noticing not so subtle sexual content in almost every booth we passed. First we met Dirty Dan wielding his huge sledge hammer.
Then, I couldn't escape the plethora of fresh, firm buns waiting for me around every corner...
...And every girl's favorite, foot longs.
The fellas will be happy to know that it wasn't all just eye candy for the women.
The fair offered images of some of the largest nipples I had ever seen...
Not to be outdone by the meat-on-a-stick for ladies, this year they offered a heterosexual male option of egg-on-a-stick. Mmmmm.
As you can see, it might be safer and less obscene just to take your kids to Vegas next year.