Sunday, August 19, 2007

It's So Easy When You Know the Rules

Here is a picture of the alien commander getting ready to send his Dora The Explorer army out to take over the world, one toddler at a time.

So, here's kind of a weird thing. You know how when you start hanging out with someone, you learn about their world through their interests? Sometimes you aren't all that interested in their shit, and that's okay, because if you were exactly the same, you would get very bored. Other times, you find yourself becoming more and more intrigued, and sometimes you realize how much you miss it after it isn't around anymore.

That's what I found happening to me the last week or so with video games. I played them a lot in high school and then kind of stopped when I got older and worked several jobs and went to school and then worked several jobs and raised children. The girls had a PS2, but I didn't get all that into it. Then when I started hanging out with Mr. Dateman, I discovered a whole new world of shooting people's heads off, and crashing into cars and blowing shit up, that frankly, appealed to me. Video games were like comic books, but better because they were interactive, and did I mention you could crash into stuff and blow shit up?

I didn't play them around Mr. Dateman, because he is very good at them and, of course, I sucked. Last week, in the privacy of my own home, I started playing Galaga again. I started out pretty sucky, but the thing about video games, is that you get better really quickly and I shore do loves me some instant gratification. Today Stinky and I went to look for Centipede for PS2 and had absolutely no luck finding it. Since we were standing in front of all the games anyway, Stinky asked if we could get a few. She told me she thought I'd like a game called Burnout. It turned out to be a game where you not only race cars, but you get points for crashing into them. Once you hit several cars, the word "GOOD" comes on the screen to give you some positive reinforcement. We also got that one game. You know the one that is so violent and misogynistic, and where you drive around and shoot hookers? That one. I haven't played it yet, but I think after my first day back to work in a week, I'll be all ready to shoot me some hookers. Hey, it's way better than shooting my co-workers, and what's so wrong with displaced aggression, anyway?

We'll see where all this takes me. Seein's how I'm single now, my girls are rarely home and hibernation season is a stone's throw away, it could be just the thing for me. I worry a little bit, because I tend to have a bit of an addictive personality. (running, anyone?) And when I talked to my friend J. about it last week, he told me once you play Guitar Hero, there's no going back. Is there some kind of 1-800-GAME-OFF number, just in case? I guess it could be worse, I could have dated a crack head.


Payne's Gray said...

If you pick up the hooker first and utilize her services BEFORE you shoot her, you'll get a health boost and your money back.

I'm ashamed I even know that.

Margaret said...

wouldn't it be great if your could load pictures of coworkers to the game?

Mr Atrocity said...

You have to be careful though with others in your household games-wise. Being very squeamish about hospitals I had to hide in the spare room yesterday as Tinseltroos hacked and slashed her way through "Trauma Center - Second Opinion", a surgery game on the Wii. I plan to get my own back by finding some sort of sport or car-racing game that she'll hate. That said we play most of the same games and I just lapse into gender stereotype every now and again. I can't help it; it's that useless Y chromosome again.

booda baby said...

It IS the lure of games, that we actually get better. They're clever bastards, aren't they? I try and remember that when there's something I SHOULD be doing, like ... like practising a new language or something, which isn't half as fun as video games.

.j.william. said...

i purposely don't own any sort of gaming system. it's best to keep the crack at your friends' houses (I love guitar hero. Love.)

laura b. said...

haha! There are definitely worse things to be addicted to than running and games. Let your freak flag fly!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

the last time I played a video game was Pac Man!

Tara said...

I need to get that system so that I can buy that game and get points for crashing into cars. That definitely sounds very gratifying. I play "The Sims" on the computer and I get some malicious gratification out of killing some of them. Good times. >:)

evil-e said...

There is nothing wrong with being addicted to video games. I did something very similar all weekend as well. Being it that I am single, bored, and had no real plans Mr Madden (Madden '05)was a viable alternative to my regularly scheduled life.

I think because I read about you doing the video game thing you somehow influenced me from afar.

Churlita said...

Payne's Gray,

We should talk about these little helpful hints. I know I owe you several emails. I promise I'll write you back this week.


Oh man. I'd never leave my house. I'd just keep killing the same few people over and over and it would never get old.

Mr Atrocity,

At least you have someone to play with. I'm not sure if I could handle the Trauma Center game either.

Booda Baby,

Maybe it would be more fun to learn a knew language if you could shoot at something after you conjugated a verb or something.

J William,

You are a very smart man. I'm a little scared to even pick up Guitar Hero. It might be worse than crack for me.

Laura B,

Don't worry. I don't think you can miss my freak flag.


I hear you. I still cling to the old school games.


I bet you'd love Burnout.


I'm usually a much worse influence. Maybe I'm getting more mellow in my old age.

Brando said...

When TLB was up in Michigan teaching for a year, I played an excessive amount of games. There was this one Star Wars game I really got into, and I remember spending a Sunday where the sun moved from one side of the sky to the other, while I remained on the couch.

Guitar Hero is pretty bad. You'll find yourself saying things like, "If I get just hit that solo, I could get 100% on Warrant's 'Cherry Pie.'"

AlienCG said...

First off, great picture, but it is classified.

If you really don't want to get addicted to video games...

DON'T BUY A Wii!!!

Churlita said...


All I've ever wanted was to get 100% on Warrant's Cherry Pie.


I've heard that about Wii. I'm just taking baby steps right not anyway.