You Just Might Pick Up My Magic Sticks

Stinky tried to dye her hair blonde today. Even though she's half me and I am one pasty, pale Irish girl, her other half is Mexican and the closest she could get is reddish brown. She said she's going to try to lighten it up one more time tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

This week I've become a bit of a jinx. Believe me, I would much rather be a minx. (I'd be having a hell of a lot more fun) Apparently, though, you don't get to choose your afflictions in this life, they choose you. You think I'm being dramatic don't you. In what way have I become such a bane, do you ask? Well, let me tell you.

I've been a scourge to all computers I've come into contact with this week. I already told you about the issues I had with my home computer on Monday. Yesterday, I got a virus on my computer at work. From what the IT guy who worked on it for the last two days said, it was a doozy. Our IT guy is a total saint, by the way, and he kept trying to reassure me that it wasn't the very worst virus he's come across in his career, but it definitely gave him a run for his money. I had to sit on a file cabinet for the first three hours at work today and talk about movies and television shows with him, until he finally killed it. Thank god IT guys are geeky, so we had plenty of things in common. Dude, we could have talked about Transformers and the Transformers movie for the three hours alone. He has all his Transformer toys from when he was a kid, just waiting for his son to get old enough to play with them.

I've also been a bit of a weather jinx this week. On both Monday and Wednesday night, I went over to Mr. Dateman's house with nasty storms riding my ass there and back. Luckily, Mr. Dateman likes storms, so I was the only one breathing into a bag both nights. I didn't have to feel quite so guilty.

So, what do you think? Is this some kind of residual Friday the Thirteenth hex, or was I cursed as a baby to start wreaking havoc in my forty-second year? If I'm going to be this way for a while, I'd like to know so I could try to harness these powers to work for me instead of against me.

If I Don't Get Your Call Then Everything Goes Wrong

I took this in Hills last Summer.

Dear Cell Phone,

I know I put you off for a long time. I promise I wasn't playing that girl game of hard to get, I just really wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship and I didn't want to string you along. You seemed really cool and I was afraid of hurting you. You have to admit, there is some hassle and money and time commitment when we're talking about getting involved. Frankly, I just wasn't sure if I wanted to be that accessible either.

Once my girls got old enough to start using their own cell phones, I was able to see that some of the freedoms I was worried about losing, would be replaced by other, very important liberties. Dude, you've made it so I'm not stuck at home waiting to hear from my girls. I can actually have a social life. I also had no idea that you possessed so many other attractive qualities. Sure, you look good and you do a great job communicating, but you've also really helped me get more organized. You wake me up even when the electricity goes out, you keep track of all my friends, and best of all you motivate me to run with your amazing Mp3 skillz. It seems like I owe you a HUGE apology for underestimating you and taking you for granted.

At the risk of dropping the L bomb, I'll stop just short and say, I really, really really like you a lot. I just hope I haven't screwed things up between us by my initial hesitation. If you give me another chance, I promise you'll have my full attention and devotion. I'll even try harder to get better at texting on you and stop writing wordy tomes to my friends and family.

Love,

Churlita

But You Grow Up and You Calm Down

Okay. I think my goal here was to take a couple of photos of myself on the eve of the beginning of my 42nd year before I went out. Then maybe I thought I'd take some "after" shots when I got home and had actually turned a certain age, but I was too drunk (thank god) to do the last part...Or possibly, I had spent too much time by myself on Sunday and it was making me a little loopy and I had no plan whatsoever for taking dork-ass black and whites of myself. Either way, here I am during my last hours of 41. Yeah, whatever.


So, check me out. I'm blogging from home. Sweet. All day on my birthday, the Mediacom people were telling me that it could take 24-48 hours for them to fix my internet. Even with my lovely hangover, I knew that was bullshit. Today I had to call three times and got disconnected once and was on hold (with the worst cheesy techno hold music ever) for what seemed like a couple of hours until I got the one guy who knew what was going on. He told me that my issue shouldn't take 24 hours, it should take about four minutes to fix. Really? He said he'd call me back when it was done, and damn if he didn't get back to me in ten minutes. The more I deal with tech support for any company, the more I realize that you have to keep calling back until you get that one girl/guy who actually knows what she/he's doing. Whew.

So, thanks again for all the birthday love. My birthday eve was super great and my birthday was fun too, I just had to pay the toll for the night before. I'm old enough to understand that it was all my choice, and in my mind, it was totally worth it.

Today it was back to the real world, and that was okay too. After my four day weekend, I forgot I had to bring a lunch and was forced to pay way too much for crappy food downtown. On my way to purchase said crap, I ran into Stinky and her friends. So, we all went together for our crap feast and I got to meet Stinky's new boyfriend who she met at camp. He has that whole sun bleached, blonde, skater boy/seventies surfer look that me and my girls all seem to have a weakness for. I made him shake my hand, not because I'm all formal like that, but because I knew it would make him really uncomfortable. And how fun is that? It almost makes me want to forget my lunch again tomorrow, to see if I can mess with him some more.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Dear Most Awesome Blog Readers,

This will be really quick. I woke up hung-over on my birthday to find that when the cable company shut-off my land line, they also stopped my internet. Awesome. Then they told me that what took a minute for them to screw up, would take them at least 24 hours to fix. Even better. So, I had to wait until I went back to work to get any internet access.

Thanks for all the kind birthday wishes and virtual cakes and stuff. I promise I will try to get to everyone's blogs in the next day or two. 'Kay? I also promise to write a better, more sober blog post than I have in the last couple of days.

Love,

Churlita

And I'm Getting Old

Good lord, but that's a lot of face for a baby. It's also nice to know, that I've never, ever in my life, been able to sit like a lady.

Kids, you know I feel really bad doing another one of these so close on the heels of the last one, but here it is. I guess my excuse is that it's my birthday goddammit and I can blog drunk if I want to. Today was pretty kick-ass and I'm not just saying it because I've had a few and everything seems awesome while I'm wearing my beer goggles. I do know, that whatever hour I drag myself out of bed tomorrow, probably won't seem quite so sweet.

Right now though, I want to hug the whole world, except some of those stinky rock boys who gave me and my friends so much shit tonight. Those would be the same rock boys who kept calling and/or texting us while we were at a friend's house wondering when we were going to come down to the metal show. Those boys will get theirs all too soon. Especially, our friend J. who called us the "hen clan". As in, "I'm surprised to see the hen clan out at a show on a Sunday night," or "the reason I called you guys the hen clan is because all we could hear after the band stopped playing was you guys cackling in the back of the bar." J. will soon discover that we weren't kidding when we said we'd all show up at his house at 2 on Monday afternoon to watch movies at his state of the art theater...And cackle as often and as loudly as possible.

So, yeah. I have a feeling that I haven't made much sense so far. I would encourage you all to blame that final free birthday beer I was served after midnight. And since I obviously misplaced my filter, I'm wisely taking some kind of pain reliever, with as much water as I can drink and passing-out. I'm sure I'll feel like getting up early and running in the morning. Right?

Breaking the Law. Breaking the Law

Hey, Kids. This will be quick because it's late and I'm tired. I want to thank all of you for your wonderful suggestions as to how to spend my day off. Especially Killer's "make your own cheap porn at home" ideas. Although it was creative and resourceful, I must have misplaced my whips and chains, so it just wasn't going to work for me today.

I did have a nice day, but it was still ruled by my stupid, dumb, annoying cold. It made me spacey and tired all day. At one point, I was driving in my car with Mr. Dateman and ran a red light. It wasn't even yellow, or pink or anything other than bright red. Oops. Luckily, Mr. Dateman lived to tell about it and possibly write some kind of cautionary tale about the dangers of riding in a car with me.

Later in the afternoon, I was going to run, but I was too wiped out. I napped until 4:30 and then finally ran. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle going out and drinking, but since it was my last night before the girls got back from camp, I wanted to at least do something.

I stopped by my friend K. and J,'s place to see if they wanted to go out to eat, but they were already grilling with my friend T. Because they are so awesome, they invited me to dinner and it was so much better than eating in a restaurant. T. split her steak with me and there was literally a trough of corn on the cob, and salad and potatoes and veggies and K. even made me a white wine spritzer. It was perfect for my cold because the lemon and lime were full of vitamin C. We had great dinner time conversation about this movie J. went to see at the Bijou about guys who have sex with animals. We joked about what a great first date movie that would be...Or not.

I went home around ten and watched "The Illusionist", it was a tad slow for someone who might have had a little bit to drink and was ready to fall into a food coma, but I made it all the way to the end and now I must sleep.

The end.

I'm the Kinda G That Little Homies Wanna Be Like

My friend K.'s neighbor was tuck-pointing her house last year, so I went ahead and photographed it.

Tonight I am standing on the precipice of a four day weekend. Don't worry, it's not making me dizzy and I won't pass-out and fall off of it. I'm just a little giddy is all. I turn forty-muthahfuckin'-two years old on Monday, and I thought I'd give myself the birthday present of time. So, it's happy birthday to me, (starring Melissa Sue Anderson) all over again.

I was a little worried earlier today, because my cold got all up in my grill and was sweatin' me and I was afraid all my vacation birthday time would be spent livin' in a Summer cold paradise. One of my co-workers told me that if my cold was still bad tomorrow, I should just come into work. Her reasoning was that if I was going to be miserable anyway, I may as well not waste a perfectly good day off. So, I went to bed the minute I got home and pretty much stayed there until around 9 o'clock when Mr. Dateman called me to make sure I hadn't been passing out in doctor's offices again today. I've got four minutes to go until midnight and so far so good.

So, I'm wide awake now and my cold seems to have chilled the fuck out, I have tomorrow off and my girls are away at camp. What an excellent way to head into Friday the 13th. I don't really have many plans for tomorrow, so give me some suggestions. If you had an entire day to yourself, how would you fill it? (please be aware that you would be on an EXTREMELY limited budget, so renting tons of porn might be out of the question)

Strange Days Have Found Us

Here are some yellow flowers in a sea of green.

Well, Kids. I had kind of a weird day today. It started out with me passing out at my doctor's appointment this morning. I'm one of those people who faints easily. My Doctor wasn't worried. She thought it was probably just one of those things where my knees locked and then I was down for the count. On the plus side...My blood pressure was back down again, from being too high a few months ago, and because I've lost so much weight lately, my doc gave me the go ahead to eat as much fatty food as I needed to get it back up. Woooo-hooooo!

As soon as I got to work, I found out my bosses were pulling us all out individually to talk to us about speaking to each other respectfully. We're like a huge dysfunctional family at my office and we flip each other shit all day, but we don't really mean it...Much. What? Just because I call John, Mr. Freakerman? At least I refer to him as mister. On the plus side...One of the women I work with said she'd bring duct tape for all of us to put over our mouths. You know, if we have to say something nice, we can't be trusted to say anything at all.

Things got better after work. I ran and listened to the songs on my phone. (there was some strange twist of fate, and it let me download 39 more songs into it before I got the error message again) I took a shower and then headed over to Mr. Dateman's place. We talked a lot of shit and he made me laugh like he always does...As an additional plus, Mr. Dateman reminded me to watch for deer on my drive home, and for whatever reason, I love it when he does that.

I have a bit of a cold, but I couldn't take any medicine for it last night because I was afraid it might raise my blood pressure. Tonight, though? Tonight, I'm planning to go get all hopped up on Nyquil and hope tomorrow isn't quite so friggin' weird.

What's the Buzz? Tell Me What's A-Happening

Hello, lily.

Today was my first full day sans girls. I thought I'd write a list of what my life was like without them. I figured it would help you all to feel better about your own lives in comparison.

1. Woke-up after hitting the snooze about 100 times and with only a few moments to put on clothes and rush out the door.

2. Heard a strange buzzing sound while I was getting ready for work and wondered if I hadn't accidentally let a large mosquito in my house the night before.

3. Sat at work all day multi-tasking by inputting info into my computer, eating Chex mix, reading blogs, checking Myspace, trying to figure out why I had another migraine and then realizing it was probably a result of my screwed up sleep schedule the last few days.

4. Walked home in all the heat and humidity and managed to make a neat little sweat patch where my tank top met my stomach. Pretty.

5. Tidied up a few things at home and heard the buzzing sound again. Wondered if it was the noise an air conditioner made right before it blew-up.

6. Quickly decided to drive to my friend K.'s house and check out the garden where I'd be safe.

7. Helped K. tie up our out of control tomato plants and then stood around watching her weed things, while I bitched about how hot I was. The humidity fucked up my hair so badly, that braids became my only practical hair choice.

8. Went into K.'s house and shared a fizzy-ginger-tea-soda like beverage and talked about boys. (I know, again with the multi-tasking)

9. Went to Mr Datetman's house and messed around with Google Earth Maps. We checked out our current abodes as well as the places where we used to live. We also took little virtual trips to other cities. Who says I can't afford a vacation this Summer?

10. I went home and got ready for bed. I heard the buzzing again and realized it was Stinky's cell phone in her bedroom set to vibrate. I wondered how long it would take for the battery to die.

I'm All Lost in the Supermarket

Here is a picture of some dandelions.

It's quiet in here...Almost too quiet. And now that I've said that, the Apaches should be attacking at any moment...Or maybe I watched too many Westerns as a kid.

Things are starting to calm down in my world - which is good, because I couldn't keep going at that pace for much longer. In fact, I gave myself a time-out on Saturday night and spent a nice, mellow evening with Mr. Dateman. While I dried out a little last night, I didn't really catch up on my sleep the way I wanted. So, today ended up being kind of weird and turned around because of the sleep deprivation.

I ran around with the girls at first and then finally picked up Coadster's friend and we headed to the YMCA camp. It was a hot day to stand in line for an hour waiting to get Stinky settled in her cabin. The good part about it was getting to see Coadster in action in her role as counselor in training. She was so sweet and helpful with the little kids and their parents. It still blows me away that anyone who shares my DNA could be that poised and mature. (there must be some weird recessive gene that skips a couple generations or something) After having to refill-out forms that were misplaced, I finally got back on the road around 3:30.

By the time I made it home, I was exhausted. I crawled into bed and didn't get back out until Colleen called me later in the evening. I stopped by my friend H.'s house around 9:30 and chatted one last time before Colleenyweenie goes back to New York.

I found myself at Hy-Vee, grocery shopping at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night. I was surprised at how many other people were there at that time too. It made me wonder if all these years I'd been missing out on some secret society of late Sunday night grocery shoppers, but I didn't see any special handshakes, so I don't think they were in cahoots or anything.

Now that my girls are gone for a week, Colleen's on her way to New York and things are finally calming down, I guess there isn't much else to do but go back to bed...Unless, of course, the Apaches show up, and then I guess I'll be busy defending the homestead.

Nights Like This Appeal to Me

Here is some stuff that got stuck in the grate by my house.

I thought I'd do you all a favor and keep a safe distance from another drunken blog post by waiting until this afternoon to write.

Last night I finally achieved my goal of integration between all of my friends and it was just as awesome as I suspected it would be. My friends K. and T. showed up and K. brought her boyfriend and everyone got along swimmingly. Stinky even had a whole hour where she wasn't hanging out with her friends, so she joined us downtown for a bit. Colleen was so funny around her. She couldn't get over the fact that Stinky was a teenager and wasn't going to make Colleen wear dress-up clothes and put on garish make-up.

After Stinky went home, we all decided to drink at the beer garden at The Mill. Of course, one of the bad things about me, is that my friends can talk me into anything after I've had a beer or two. My friends took full advantage of it last night. They got me to do my downs syndrome face and the butt dance in front of god and everybody. I'm not saying I'm proud of my behavior, I'm just simply relating what went down.

Another friend of mine gave me a Xanax to take for recreational purposes. I should have saved it, because I'm sure there will come a time when I'll need it for real, but he was adamant that I take it right then and there. I split it with someone else and we downed our halves with the Mexican beer we were drinking. (which, I'm pretty sure is exactly what any pharmacist would recommend)

About twenty minutes later, my friend said, "See? You've already stopped guffawing as much and you're not half as loud as you were." To which, I responded,

"Uh, what?" I wouldn't be surprised if last night starts a precedent for all my friends to show up with handfuls of Xanax or Valium to throw at me whenever I get too drunk and loud.

Well It's Late in the Evening

Here. Look at these pretty flowers and let them distract you from anything I'm about to write.

Oh, kids. I haven't done this for a while, but I'm blogging while I'm a little on the dee-runk side. I know it's a bad idea, but so was straightening my hair in July, and I did that tonight too. I'm a girl who likes to live on the edge. So, yeah. It's midnight and I just ate a bowl of Apple Jacks and I still have to get up and work tomorrow. So what. I'm sure I'll be quite the perky little princess around three in the afternoon tomorrow too...or not.

The thing about me, is that I always have such good intentions. Originally, my friend Colleen called me at work and we both kind of decided that we wouldn't go out. We'd both rest up and she'd get time to chill out from her trip and whirlwind visits to friends and family yesterday and today, and I would get some alone time. Ha.

I got home from work and went running. Stinky was at a friend's and asked me if she could have a girls' night until around 9:30 when they would all go to another friend's house to sleepover. No problem. I cooked up a pizza, they ate and then left dorky Myspace comments under their friend's accounts and watched a scary movie and traded their favorite lines from Team America. When I got a little too overwhelmed with all the thirteenyearoldishness of it all, I retired to Coadster's room. Then the phone calls started. First my friend H. called to say she was supposed to meet some friends at the beer garden at the Picador and she was going to drag Colleen along after all. Then I called my friend K. to try to get her to join us. I like all my friends to meet each other, because they all kick ass and I'm sure we'll have fun. I've been trying for the last year or two to get K. and Colleen to meet. Then Colleen called to say they were going to leave around 9:30.

All the thirteen year old girls cleared out of my house and I left to meet the other girls at the bar. My friend K. never made it, but we still have tomorrow night. Most of the people I sat with hadn't been to this particular establishment since it got cleaned up about a year ago, and at first, all they could talk about was how appreciative they were of the tidy new bathrooms. Our "only going out for one drink" turned into two or so and suddenly it was 11:30. Shit. On my way out, I ran into my friend BK who told me I should stay longer. When I whined about having to get up and work tomorrow, he laughed at me. I know he has to get up as early as I do, but I'm way older than him. I love pulling the old lady card, because nobody calls you on it.

Okay. I'm sure this is one of the most poorly written blog posts ever, but I'm half-drunk and it's late and I'm tired and I'm older than most of you. There. Was that enough excuses? I got a million of 'em...

You'd Think it was the Fourth of July

Here is a picture of my friend's daughter wrasslin' a stick away from a dog.

I went into today, not really having any idea what I'd do. I knew Stinky was going with her dad at some point, and that was it. It turned out to be a really fun day, it just felt like I lived three very different lives that didn't really have much to do with each other.

I woke up to my first life as a mom and spent some time talking to Stinky. I ran my seven mile route and was surprised how nice and breezy it was outside this morning. For lunch, Stinky and I picked up some food and ate outside at our little patio table (which is actually a driveway table, since we don't have a patio) until Stinky announced that she was full and too hot and asked if it was okay for her to go inside and get on the computer. I have to give her credit for humoring me for a little while anyway. Her dad picked her up around three and that's when I started my second life.

My second life was more like a flashback. I went out to the farm where I lived for a brief time and watched some bands play and hung out with old friends. Now that we're all getting older, there were a lot more kids and dogs running around than there used to be. At one point, my friend B. said, "Wow. I keep looking around and having weird flashbacks from years gone by." It kind of felt like that to me too, except there wasn't a mud wrestling pit, or half as many drunk people and the music wasn't as loud. It was more like Fourth of July lite.

In the evening I went to live in Mr. Dateman world for a few hours. We listened to music and then stood on his deck and watched fireworks from about six different towns. It was really cool, and the best part was that we didn't have to get stuck in traffic.

Now my holiday must end so I can get ready for work tomorrow. Wah.

Spread the Word Around, Guess Who's Back in Town

I got my first text message today by someone who wasn't my daughter. It was from a friend who was in town visiting and wanted to go for a drink. I had Stinky, so I couldn't make it, but I also kind of needed some shut-in time. I called tech support for Verizon to see if I could get my phone to take more songs, and all they could do was tell me to uninstall and reinstall their program and it still didn't work. I hate it when things don't work and it pains me that I'm such a nerd, but have absolutely no mad geek skillz. I gave up and watched The Notorious Betty Page instead.

In the next couple of days, my friend Colleenyweenie (as my girls so affectionately call her) will be in town from New York. Hopefully, Coadster will be able to see her this weekend.

My daughters have very fond memories of her from when she stayed with us about six years ago. At that time, she was just moving back from Japan and I was about a month away from ending a long term relationship. Apparently, we both had to blow off some steam, and boy howdy, did we. We went out and drank a lot. During the days, we would both be hung-over and lie on the couch with the girls, eating gross comfort food like tuna helper or grilled cheese sandwiches and soup and watching movies like The Goonies and Beetlejuice.

On the nights we didn't go out, we stayed at my place and had fashion shows with clothes Colleen brought back from Japan and Thailand, mixed with weird crap the girls had in their closets. Hmmm.

We also had dance parties where Stinky showed us her break-dance moves. That's Miss Electric Boogaloo to you.
I'm not sure what I was doing in this photo, but whether I was falling over, or wildly gesticulating, or doing the hokey-pokey, once again, I look like a total dork.

Since Colleen and I are in very different places in our lives now, and she'll be staying with another friend this time around, I'm pretty sure her visit will be way more mellow. The girls and I will just be happy to see her. Last year she gave Stinky a lecture about how she should listen to me and try not to grow up so fast and Stinky didn't roll her eyes once. Now that I think about it, Colleen might just be magic. If only she knew how to download music into my phone...

Oh, Uh-Oh Make it Magnificent ,Tonight

Sorry about last night's post. It was the migraine talking. I wasn't expecting it and stupidly let my meds run out except for half a pill. It helped me through the evening, but by the time I went to sleep, it came back in all it's hellish fury. I kept waking up because of the headache and I had this weird pain-high. It's hard to describe if you've never had it, but it gave me really vivid dreams and made me even more internal than I normally am.

Today I ordered my meds during lunch and took them as soon as I could leave work and drive to the pharmacy at the North Dodge Hy-Vee. I'm not sure if it was from lack of sleep or the residual migraine damage or the meds or a combination of all three, but I still felt super high tonight. I went to Mr. Dateman's and we watched part of a documentary called, Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie in high def. All the footage of bombs blowing-up was kind of horrifyingly beautiful in my altered state. Then when I was driving home, I turned the corner and the moon was coming up all blood red and looked almost exactly like this:

Except it wasn't completely full. (I didn't have a camera on me, so I had to steal this photo off of the inter webs) It startled me because it looked so much like the images in the movie. I was tempted to call Mr. Dateman and tell him to look out his window, but it was late and he had to get up early and I figured he'd probably appreciate it more if I didn't wake him up and he could just view it on my blog later on at his leisure .

Well I Tried to Make it Sunday, but I Got So Damn Depressed

I know last week I said something about maybe posting a photo of me relaxed and passed-out with an empty bottle of Jack in my hand, but I was really just talking shit. Alcohol doesn't really relax me so much, as make me that much louder. Instead, I'm finally posting this pic of the gigantic wooden nickel that I promised you ages ago.

Kids, there's no way to sugar coat this for you, I'm feeling kind of down today. It's not a full blown funk or anything, I'm just at that point where I have to eat that reality sandwich and it tastes like shit. Killer predicted this would happen in the comments of my post last week and because I can be overly optimistic, (read: delusional) I didn't believe him. Silly, silly me.

At first I thought I'd try to do something creative tonight, and then quickly realized I didn't have it in me. So, maybe I'll just do a little whine first, and then try to wrap it up by trying to be at least a little positive and, oh, just maybe try getting over myself. Jeesh.

Whine:

The last few days I've been running around trying to get Coadster ready for camp. There were papers to fill-out and clothes to buy and then wash and then more toiletries to purchase and then pack and since Coadster was at her dad's on Saturday night, there was also some one-on-one time where we watched a movie and lounged on our couch together on Friday night.

My landlord called last night to let me know that the inspectors were coming back to check and make sure the ten year old fire extinguisher had been replaced and the bathroom was repainted. Which means I have to go around and tidy up everything that we threw around while we were looking for suitcases and papers.

It's the first of the month, so I have to take care of all my bills. I already dropped my rent check off to the landlord along with my new phone number. Which reminds me, I still haven't cancelled my land line or sent out that gigantic group e-mail to all my friends updating my phone number.

Have I ever mentioned what a horrible procrastinator I am on here before? After reading this, I probably don't need to mention it, do I?

I have to go to the Verizon store and see why my phone is only letting me upload 100 songs on it.

I woke-up with a nasty migraine. I've been trying to ignore it all day, but it finally kicked my ass around four o'clock.

Getting over myself:

Coadster's gone and Stinky has been out most of the day. I've had a lot of alone time to get some shit done and to lie around when my head exploded. I try to make a big Sunday dinner every week. In between swimming at the quarry and going to the Jazz Fest downtown, Stinky invited one of her friends to eat with us. It helped fill the Coadster void.

The kid who was over on Thursday night with the really stinky shoes, (the kind that smell like stale cat piss) took his shoes off outside before entering my house today without me even having to ask him.

I still have 100 songs in my phone and running with music again after 20 years is seriously one of the best things ever. I can't believe I went so long without it.

I have real migraine meds, so even though the pain was intense for a few hours, my headaches don't wreck me for three days anymore.

The Fourth of July is on Wednesday. So, yeah. I can whine all I want, but I still don't have to work a full forty hours this week either.

Okay. Good enough. I'm sure I'll never completely get over myself, but at least I'm feeling a little better now.

In Her Ears the Phones are Tight and the Music's Playing Loud

Sorry guys, I didn't get a chance to take more photos, so you'll just have to view my daisies from a different angle tonight. I figured out how to load songs into my phone, so I've been spending too much time loading my computer with music and then putting it into my phone. I'm one of those people who has boxes of CDs and it can take some time to obsessively look for music and organize play lists and such.

I know I talk about the fact that I run on here a lot. I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about it, but I'm going to write about it some more anyway. If you know Iowa City at all, you're aware that it is a relatively small town, that can feel smaller and smaller the longer you live here. People who I've never seen before will stop me on the street and try to talk to me about the fact that they see me running, or others just call me runner girl. It doesn't bother me. I've been called WAY worse and I don't really have much to say to those who want to talk to me about my addiction. What's there to say? It's meditative, it's a free high and no thanks, I don't need a running partner, one of the best things about running for me is that it gives me an hour to myself.

Tonight I was at the grocery store buying some crap. I told Stinky she could have a sleepover. Normally, I'm one of those "everything in moderation" kind of people when it comes to food. We try to eat healthy, but I'm not a Nazi about it. I do make an exception when it comes to sleepovers and road trips - moderation goes out the window and we have a license to eat junk. We're still Americans after all, godammit. So, where was I? Uhhh...Yes, the grocery store.

I was looking at donuts, because I'm pretty sure it's a law that you have to eat donuts when you wake-up the next morning at a sleepover and I don't want to go to jail. This guy, who I actually recognized because he used to come into one of the coffee shops I worked at several years ago, came up to me. I figured he was just going to say hi and move on, but I was wrong. Instead, he said, "I can't believe you're looking at that kind of food. Do you really want to erase all the good you do when you run by eating that stuff?"

"What? Oh, I was just...Yeah. Ha ha." I can be really eloquent when I have to think on my feet.

"I was just a little surprised, that's all," he said and waited for a better response from me.

"I can be kind of surprising sometimes," I said and then made-up some lame excuse about why I needed to get going.

I can't imagine giving a shit what anyone eats - unless it was a baby or something and then I'd be appalled and I'd stop you in the store to judge you.

Can You Live This Fantasy Life?

In case you didn't already figure it out, I bought some new batteries. I can finally show you my flowers. Sure, they're kind of like weeds, but I'm proud of them anyway.

Remember how I said I had been fantasizing about what I'd do on my days off? Yeah, well, I thought it might be fun to look at what I thought might happen on my first day of fun, as opposed to what actually took place.

Fantasy:

1. I wake-up early and get a run in so I can start my day with a free high and have plenty of time to get things done.

2. The girls and I clean our house. Miraculously, it only takes a half hour to get all of our work done. The girls don't fight and I don't get cranky and we all look amazing and fresh and wear strings of pearls like they used to do in old TV shows from the sixties.

3. I take my change into the bank. Even though it didn't look like that much, there must have been a lot more quarters than I thought. The young, hot college guy bank teller comes back with forty dollars and I go to the comic book store to buy some of the graphic novels my awesome readers suggested.

4. I come home and Stinky and I put 1,000 songs into my phone. The process is quick and painless and I don't have to swear or kick anything.

5. The girls and I go to the pool. I stick my feet in the water and read all the comic books and listen to my new music so I don't have to overhear the frat boys sitting next to me talk about their most recent conquests. Oh yeah, even though it seems really warm out, I don't sweat and my hair doesn't get all huge from the frizz.

6. In the evening, the girls go to their dad's house and I go visit Mr Dateman who looks really good and makes me laugh my ass off.

Reality:

1. Coadster wakes me up after 10 when she gets home from running with the cross country team. I didn't even hear her leave the house. I putz around on the computer and finally go running around eleven. I don't get home until after noon.

2. After my shower, I think about cleaning, but when I mention it to the girls, Stinky asks me if I wouldn't rather try to put songs into my phone instead. (I hate when she uses my ADD against me) I make a huge play list and try to get it all into my phone. It will only accept four of the songs and we can't figure out why. We try a couple of things that don't work, and I kick and swear at a few different inanimate objects. It takes so long, we don't get around to cleaning.

3. I take my change to the bank downtown. Apparently, there were a lot more pennies than I thought. The surly, disgruntled, recently graduated bank teller comes back with my $7.52 and asks me if I want it back in a five and two ones or all ones. Since I'm not going to a strip club anytime soon, I take the five. I decide not to go to the comic book store, because I don't have enough to buy a graphic novel now.

4. Mr Dateman calls and says that for various reasons, he can't hang-out at our normal time or as long as usual. I stop by his place after I take Stinky to the movie theater to meet her friends. At least I get to see him, and he still looks really good, and he makes me laugh my ass off.

5. The girls and I all have other things to do, so we don't make it to the pool.

6. The girls go to their dad's and I stop by my friend K's house. She and my friend T. are about to meet a couple of girls at Shakespeare's (a bar/restaurant) and ask me if I want to join them. Since I'm a little tired, my original plan was to go home and read or watch a movie, but I don't have the girls and I don't have to work the next day, so I tag along. It turns out my friend I., who lives in Fairfield is in town. He's kind of like a wind-up toy and he just goes and goes and goes and it's great because I don't have to do anything but be entertained. We talk about the crap we grew-up eating and how to cook perfect tater tots and how we all fondly remember chipped beef on toast (or shit on a shingle) but none of us ever eat it anymore.

My friends K and A. show-up and it is awesome because they never, ever go out. They just live a few blocks away in Alphabet City, so we go to their house after we're done and I meet their newest dog and oooh and aaah over their gigantic TV. It suddenly hits me that I need to go home and I'm back before nine o'clock.

After looking at both lists, I can't decide if my fantasy or my reality was better - it's kind of six one way, a half dozen the other. Most importantly, it was a good day off.

Telephone Line, Give Me Some Time, I'm Living in Twilight

Here's me from a group photo we took at work last week. I cut the rest of my co-workers out since I don't have to see them for FIVE WHOLE DAYS, so fuck 'em. Don't I look really tense? That's because I haven't had three days off in a row since August. Who knows? Maybe I'll do an "after the vacation" shot of me passed-out with an empty bottle of Jack in my hand, looking ever so relaxed on Sunday.

So, the big news today is that I bought a toy. And like every red blooded American woman, I like my toys. While this toy isn't quite as much fun as some I could have purchased, I'm still excited about it. Yup, I got me a cell phone.

When Coadster and I went into the store, the sales woman asked me if I was looking for a phone to do more organizational and business related tasks and I immediately said, "Ew. No, gross." Then she asked if I wanted something that would be more media friendly, so I could use it as an MP3 player and stuff. "Okay, now you're talking." So, I got me a KRZR, and I got it in red. It is really, really pretty. I also bought the music essentials kit and the chip thing so I can download about a thousand songs. I feel so hip and cool and modern now that I finally took that flying leap into the nineties.

I'm super excited about having an Mp3 player so I can listen to music when I run. I used to always carry a Walkman in the eighties, but I had to wean myself from it when I lived in San Francisco and worked two jobs from six am at Bakers of Paris, until around ten pm when my shift as a bartender at Macy's Department store ended. It wasn't all that safe running in the city at night and I had to be able to hear if Mr. Stranger Danger was approaching. Now, though? Now, I usually run after work, when it's light and I live in Iowa, so I can go back to listening to funky, funky fresh grooves on my headphones. Plus, I'll be carrying my phone and I can just dial 911 when Mr. Stranger Danger approaches. Once again, it's pure, unadulterated awesomeness.

Okay, now leave me the hell alone while I go play with my pretty new toy.

p.s. Thanks to all you guys who left me suggestions for comic books and graphic novels in the comments of my last post. I can't tell you how happy I am to have such great geek advice.

I "Cloud Nine" When I Want to

Remember how random yesterday's post was, and I was so aware of it and made fun of my negative patterns and all? Well, apparently my self-diagnosed ADD knows no bounds and seems to be even worse tonight. It's okay. I know how I am, so I just put myself on lock-down tonight and saved the whole world from myself.

Unfortunately, I'm not considerate enough not to blog, so I'm going to be all over the place (as Evil-E said about yesterday's post) once again tonight.

1.) So, hey. You wanna see the notes I took at my last work meeting?:


Yeah. If it had been a meeting about how to draw cheesy cartoons at work, I would have been fine. Alas, I have no idea what the meeting was about. All I got from it, was that I needed to bring some different colored pens so I'd have more options for doodling.

2.) I've been kicking around the idea of getting a cell phone lately. Both the girls have one, but I didn't think I needed one because we still have a land line. I was talking about it with Mr. Dateman this weekend and he suggested that I get rid of my home phone altogether. Duh. I don't know why I didn't think of that myself. It would definitely save me some money. It will just take some work getting my new number out to everyone. I've had my old one since I split with my ex-husband over ten years ago.

3.) Since tomorrow is the last work day for me this week, I've been fantasizing a lot about what I'm going to do with my time off. Of course, I want to run a whole bunch. And now that I have our family season passes and my new swim suit top, I want to devote some time to lounging at the city pool reading comic books. There's nothing like it to bring me right back to Summers when I was a kid. They even play the local classic rock station, so the music is still the same.

4) WARNING: NERD GIRL ALERT - This point kind of goes with the last one, so I better make it my last. It's pretty sad when my ADD gets so bad that my randomness corrects itself. I'm going to the comic book store this week to get some more intellectually stimulating reading material. The last time I was there, the guy behind the counter was telling me about a new Hulk series. Then a week or so ago, some nameless/faceless guy on Myspace messaged me about the same thing. I've never been a big fan of The Hulk, but I do like to follow the advice of complete strangers, so I'm going to see if the graphic novel is out yet. I'm sure you'll all be waiting with bated breath.

Okay, okay. I better go. There are so many other things to obsess about before I go to sleep.