Peace Came Upon Me and it Leaves Me Weak

All the rain here lately seems to be great for fungus.

Oh my Gawd, kids. It just keeps raining and raining and raining. This weekend was spent dodging storms and trying to do as many outdoor projects as possible before the rain started again. Today I managed to FINALLY finish planting all my lilies. If I'm lucky, they'll bloom before the first frost.

Looking down at the flat top.

I've been thinking a lot about death lately, since my friend's fiance passed and since the book I'm reading is all about loss. I feel lucky in some ways losing so many people who were close to me at such a young age. It's made me appreciate everything so much more...And to think about what would be important to me in my life if I were to die right now. So, I've been cataloging in my head the things I need to make an effort to do in my life:

1. Appreciate all the people I have while I have them...That means telling them how much I care about them and doing as much for them as possible. I know that's hard for some people to do, but it's so important.

2. Try not to let fear get in the way of the things I want to do or try. This has been tough for me in the past, but I continue to work on it. I'm almost always glad when I try something new.

3. Ask for what I want and know that I deserve it. I know I've talked about this before. It doesn't mean that I should be demanding, it means that I shouldn't be so damn scared of rejection.

4. Figure out what's important to me and then work for it. Sometimes the hardest part of this, is figuring out what's important to me.

5. Fix my shit. Again, I have to figure out what bothers me about myself first and then find ways to work on it.

6. Don't let anyone else make me feel like I'm not good enough. This one has taken me YEARS to work on...I was so good at letting people make me feel like shit about myself for so long, it's hard for me to stop doing it. Once I realize that someone is trying to do it to me, I have to just stay away from them. As I've said before, I have a hard time letting go of people...No matter how shitty they are to me.

7. Allow myself to rest and relax and slow things down and live in the moment...Uh, yeah. Like I said, I'm a work in progress. I'm trying hard to be better at this one.

8. Don't allow how I picture things in my head, to tarnish the way things actually are. I think that's a big control thing. Where I've imagined something and then when it doesn't materialize that way in the real world, I need to let go of my vision and be happy with what I have instead.

9. Realize every day is a gift and treat it like that. Sometimes there are only 5 minutes of good in a day -then I have to focus on those 5 minutes... Because if I look hard enough, there will always be at least 5 minutes.

10. Take good care of my teeth...Just in case I don't get hit by a bus tomorrow.

What are your words of wisdom for appreciating the hell out of your life?

You Love This Town, Even if That Doesn't Ring True

Thanks for everyone's kind words and I'm doing much better today. Sometimes I just have to spew shit on the page in order to figure it out and try to fix it. You'll be happy to know that all my lightbulbs have been changed (which, unfortunately is NOT a euphemism for anything fun) and my shoes are picked up.

So, today I had the dorkiest idea ever. Me? Shocking, I know. But it was beautiful outside and I happened to bring my camera, so I thought you might want to go for my lunchtime walk with me and see some stuff that I passed on my way around town. When it's nice out, I cruise the same little route everyday. We're going to start with this first photo. It's the door stop to the building where I do all of my extremely important pushing of papers.

I didn't take photos of the beginning of my walk, because I had to get my guts up. It's kind of weird to go around and snap photos of mundane shit. You never know how people are going to react. I just had to warm up to it.

The picture above is of a guy people call Sexual Robbie because of the name of a band he was in in the nineties. He seems to be playing guitar by himself these days.

This is a forgotten dinosaur on a bench between the playground and the library in beautiful downtown Iowa City.

Here are some chairs and behind them, some tables all lined up in front of that one restaurant across from the library. Sorry, but the name escapes me now.

We've turned the corner now and we're cruising along Linn Street. The building to your left is the library. Our public library is pretty damn cool, if I do say so myself.

Here's a guy putting up flyers for some band that's going to play in some bar at some point. I'm sure it will be covered by another flyer by the end of the day.

We're on our way back to work now. I only get a half hour for lunch, so I can't take you any further. We'll just follow the girl with "Iowa" written across her ass. I still don't quite get the point of having something written across one's butt. Is it really just so that everyone will take a closer look? Because if that's it, it totally works. Even when I don't want to, I have to read whatever is in front of me.

We're crossing the street and heading to the Pentacrest, which is the main campus. As you can see, we still have twelve seconds, so it's not like we have to run before the light changes or anything.

This sidewalk leads to McBride Hall. I never had any classes there, but I used to take my girls to the free natural history museum when they were younger.

Also, I really like those boots that the girl walking ahead of me is wearing.

We're getting very close to my office now. There's always someone reading on these steps when the weather's nice.

As you've probably noticed, our school colors are black and gold. These buses that you see are free to anyone. My girls used to love to ride around on them when they were little. That's one thing about this town, it's pretty easy to be poor in. Believe me, I'm an expert.

This is the walkway that was named after the woman who was shot by Gang Lu in 1991.

This sign is mounted on a rock in front of the building where I work.

And finally, we're inside. Sadly, lunch is over and I have to go answer phones and vent about the callers after I hang-up and ask the guy who sits behind me how his favorite planet is and hear him answer, "My anus is just fine, Churlita. Thanks for asking"

Now, run along and quit following me. I've got shit to do. Oh, and don't forget to have a great weekend too.

I'm the Kinda G That Little Homies Wanna Be Like

My friend K.'s neighbor was tuck-pointing her house last year, so I went ahead and photographed it.

Tonight I am standing on the precipice of a four day weekend. Don't worry, it's not making me dizzy and I won't pass-out and fall off of it. I'm just a little giddy is all. I turn forty-muthahfuckin'-two years old on Monday, and I thought I'd give myself the birthday present of time. So, it's happy birthday to me, (starring Melissa Sue Anderson) all over again.

I was a little worried earlier today, because my cold got all up in my grill and was sweatin' me and I was afraid all my vacation birthday time would be spent livin' in a Summer cold paradise. One of my co-workers told me that if my cold was still bad tomorrow, I should just come into work. Her reasoning was that if I was going to be miserable anyway, I may as well not waste a perfectly good day off. So, I went to bed the minute I got home and pretty much stayed there until around 9 o'clock when Mr. Dateman called me to make sure I hadn't been passing out in doctor's offices again today. I've got four minutes to go until midnight and so far so good.

So, I'm wide awake now and my cold seems to have chilled the fuck out, I have tomorrow off and my girls are away at camp. What an excellent way to head into Friday the 13th. I don't really have many plans for tomorrow, so give me some suggestions. If you had an entire day to yourself, how would you fill it? (please be aware that you would be on an EXTREMELY limited budget, so renting tons of porn might be out of the question)

Don't You Never Try to Look Behind My Eyes

Here is the front of the pig caravan.

I know it hasn't even been a full two days yet, but I think I'm over my philosophical reflections about how to spend my lifetime. It was getting kind of annoying and stressful. I'm just going to go back to thinking about sex all the time instead - it's less productive, but way more fun.

When I went to pick up Coadster from her babysitting gig last night, my friend who's daughter she was watching told me that the gyro cart caught on fire downtown. She said they had to clear everyone out from the part of the Ped Mall where the Mayflies were playing because they were worried a tank would blow. I guess it was fine after a half hour or so, but at least people got to experience some drama with their music.

La, La, La, La, La, Live For Today

Computer Update: So, I'm going to bring my computer over to my friend BK's house to see if he can work on it. I've been told that BK is the lord, king, god computer guy and if he can't fix it, it can't be fixed. Without even looking, he told me he thought my inner-tubes might be clogged. (shut-up)

Since my landlord is stopping by to change the filters in my furnace and drop off the new lease to be signed today, I had to (ahem) tidy up my place a little and didn't have time to prepare a blog post last night. It's pretty tough to write anything at work with everyone reading the paper aloud to me and talking about which of their trees they lost in the storm this weekend, so I'm giving up. Hopefully, I'll have a working computer in the next week and I can stop with all the computer updates and lame-ass posts. I also took some cool, ice-covered-world photos that I can't wait to post.

Somethin's Happenin' Here

Okay, kids, let me put it to you straight - my computer died. It makes me so sad because she was only a year and half old. Is that normal for a Dell, or do you think it was a virus? She was fine on Saturday night, but then when I woke-up on Sunday and turned her on, she shut-down before she ever got going. On the fourth try she actually worked for about fifteen minutes. I read and responded to comments, and then, boom. Everything closed down and she shut-down. Now, all she'll do is get me to the first Dell page before she closes.

Obviously, I know nothing about computers, but I do know that Dell wants to extend me lots of credit, I get a discount from my place of employment, and I've become increasingly dependent on the internets. So, unless I want to actually go out and talk to people in person, (and lord knows, I can't have that) or try to fight with the homeless guys at the public library looking at porn to use the computers there,I'm going to have to buy me a new one.

I can only get on the internets at work during lunch and breaks, so my reading and commenting on blogs, will be a little sparse and my posting should happen at some point everyday during the week, but the content will be on the anorexic side until I can get me a new, tall silver crack pipe. Sorry, for the lameness, but that's kind of how I am.