I Thought That I Heard You Sing

I found a morel mushroom in my backyard last night. it's not anywhere near is big as the one I found last year, but they say it will be a bad year for them here because the ground isn't quite warm enough. I'll definitely take what I can get though. I love morels.

Just two things today.

1.) The Guy asked Stinky if I burst into flames when I walked into the church for my nephew's First Communion. Then they both had a good laugh. Har har har har har...

Bad, Archie. Bad. Bad,

2.) So, I had a little talk with Coadster about how things will be when she comes back for the Summer. She gets upset if anything changes - unless she's the one who changes them. I just wanted to prepare her for how things will be when she lives in my house as an adult after she's been gone for a year. You know?

I don't really care what time she comes home at night, I'd just like her to let me know where she is for the most part. I told her that I wouldn't be chauffering her around, unless it was convenient for me. She was welcome to ask me for a ride, but not to expect it. She still doesn't have her driver's license. I also told her to put what she wanted on the grocery list, and I'd be happy to get her stuff. She should also feel free to eat whatever I'm making for dinner. However, if she doesn't like or want it, I will not be making a special meal for her. She can just fend for herself. Most importantly, I told her she wouldn't be watching her trashy TV shows in the living room. We'll get cable set up in her bedroom for that, but I really can't take the squawking from the real housewives or the New Jersey Whatevas. At first she tried to protest that, but then her boyfriend stepped in and said, "Thank you. I totally agree, She tries to watch them in my dorm room and they make me crazy." So, Coadster was outvoted, and she agreed to all my other conditions. We'll see how it goes, but I feel like everything runs more smoothly when expectations are known from the git go.

Let's Get Together Before We Get Much Older

Here is a mural with snow covering the bottom of it.

Another wonderful Wednesday night with The Guy. This time we invited my friend G. and that made it even better. The Guy and I made spicy peanut noodles, miso soup, salad, roasted garlic and bought some sour dough bread from the Co-op. It was really good. We had a great time with G. The Guy and I both love hanging out with her, but The Guy hadn't seen her in forever. She also finally got to meet Archie. Poor G.

So, tomorrow morning I take my car in to see why it's so hard to start over the last few months. Please wish me luck that whatever it is doesn't cost too much. Please and thank you.

There's Gotta Be Somebody Other Than Me, Who's Ready to Write it Off Immediately

This photo has nothing to do with anything else, it's just in my friend's tattoo shop and I think it's cool.

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for the internets.

Love, Churlita

You know, back in the olden days, when I was in high school, we didn't even have any internets or Facebook. (I know. How did we live?) So, if I got mad at my sister and she wasn't home to yell at, I would just have to wait until later. Since it is physically and emotionally impossible for me to hold a grudge, I would forget by the time I saw her and all that beautiful blind fury would go to waste.

Now, though. Things are different. Because of the lovely internets, when one of my girls is pissed off at the other one, they have options. Coadster can get home, see what a mess her sister made of the living room and even though her sister is at work, Coadster can still get on Facebook and oh, say...Write something cute and quaint on Stinky's wall like:

Pick up your shit before you leave the house!!!!!!!! >:0

And Stinky can receive it right away on her phone during her break. I'm pretty sure that kind of communication is exactly why god created the internets.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

I can't be sure, but Coadster might just be a little annoyed with my obsessive photo taking here...

So, remember when I told you about the great conversations I had with the girls at Coadster's orientation? Well, I thought I'd relate one of them to you, so you can get an idea of just what deep thinkers and truly sweet people we are. This one took place at the student union while we were eating breakfast and watching some World Cup:

Stinky: So, I was working with Jacob the other day and he asked me if I remembered that one time when we were little and Coadster and I put him in a cardboard box and rolled him down a hill...

Coadster: Oh, I remember that. That was awesome.

Stinky: Well, he said it was kind of traumatic for him.

Coadster: Nice. I scarred someone for life. I'll have to cross that off my list now...

Me: Wow, Coadster. You're a real sweetheart.

Stinky: Hey, he deserved it. Remember in second grade when he drew boobs all over my Britney Spears folder?

Me and Coadster: Bwa ha ha ha ha...

Stinky: No. I tried to erase them, but they indented and I couldn't get rid of them and I had to throw away my favorite folder because it was covered in boobs....

Me and Coadster: (Even louder) Ha ha ha ha ha....

Stinky: I was so upset and cried and when I came home and told you, mom, you laughed.

Me: (wiping away the laugh tears) I know. I'm sorry, honey. But you know I can't help that. I really have no self-control.

Coadster: Nice, mom. NOW, who's scarred people for life?

Bitter Melodies Turning Your Orbit Around

I was going to actually try to do some real writing, but things were kind of weird tonight, (or maybe I was the only thing that was weird. Damn, I hate it when I'm all moody) and I realized that I was too tired and burnt-out to be all that very creative. Some friends asked me to meet them out, but I had the girls, so I couldn't. One of them was nice enough to message me for a bit, so I could get a little vent out. Which was very cool of them, but I've done the same for them before, so I'm sure it all evens-out in the end. So, I'm going to lame-out and try to go to bed early and maybe do some cleaning, since my good friend from Texas is coming to visit me tomorrow night.

But before I go, I'll leave you with this photo of what I wish I could do today - ride my bike for miles and miles out in the warm, Summery, Iowa countryside:

There Was Something So Pleasant About That Place

Here is what it looks like to walk into a corn field this time of year.

I live in a town full of freaks and bizarre incidences...For the most part. On Monday night when I was dropping my daughter off at show choir, we saw an animal control vehicle parked on the side of the road. Across the street, a guy in uniform was emerging from a yard with a large black bird he was holding upside down. At first, I thought it might be a very big raven, but as he got closer, I realized it was a chicken. Then on Dorky's blog, he posted an article from our local paper about some weird rash of chickens running amuck around Iowa City. I never did find out if it was some kind of planned terrorist act by one of the groups trying to allow chickens in the city, or if a truck overturned somewhere.


Here is some dried corn.

On Tuesday, I was headed back to the office from the other building across the street. Some younger college aged girl stopped me, pointed to my basket and asked, "Hey, is that from CVS?" I was confused because I work for a state institution that likes to use acronyms for everything. So, at first I thought she was asking me if I picked up some forms she needed from a certain area. I kept asking her what she meant. Finally she said, "I work at CVS and people are always stealing our red baskets." She even stuck her finger in my face. Have I ever mentioned on here how much I hate it when people get in my face?

"Oh. Well, we've been using this same basket for the last 7 years at least...Since CVS was still called Osco. And I highly doubt the university would steal it from your store." She saw that I was really annoyed and finally backed off a little.

When I started to walk away, she said, "They may have taken it by accident, you know..." Um, okay. What is wrong with people? I'm sure there are crazy people everywhere, but it just seems that our town has an unusually high concentration of them.

Now Everybody Needs Some Time and Everybody Knows the Rest of It's Fine

Here is a photo that Coadster took when we were at Lake Rath-bun a couple of weeks ago.

So, guess what? I forgot to bring my camera on Saturday night. I know. I must have been off my game.

I got a call from my friend G. on Saturday afternoon to see if I wanted to go out with her and her roommates and I was up for the challenge. We didn't meet until 10, so I had plenty of time to hang by myself and get some cleaning done, after the girls went off to do their things.

I ran into my friends Sara and Catherine on the way to the Dublin.They had just come back from a charity auction and were on their way to the Motley Cow to drink more wine. They invited me along, but I had already made plans.

Catherine and I were friends in college and then she moved away and finally moved back to town last year to take over her family's clothing store that shares her name. She was lamenting the fact that all the people she knew had moved away and she hadn't met any new people who weren't lame. I invited them to come down to the Dublin to meet my friends who are so decidedly not lame and drink margaritas with me. You all know how I am, I love all of my friends to meet my other friends and I hope everyone gets along. Of course, I hang out with almost every kind of person there is, so my little social experiments meet with varied results.

They agreed and I got to show off one group of friends to another. The results this time were really positive. I was worried that there might be alpha female problems between Catherine and G. and D.. Both Sara and I are sassy, but not particularly bossy. Catherine, G. and D. are delightedly sassy and bossy, but they all seemed to be fine with bossing each other around and laughing about it. Both Catherine and Sara agreed to come down and hang out with us on a more regular basis. Score!

Okay. You know how I've been trying to stay away from boys other than my male friends? I guess I'm not avoiding them, I'm just very careful not to get myself in a disheartening situation right now. Anyway, I had some funny, extremely harmless boy anecdotes from Saturday night.

The first one was when I was walking with Sara and Catherine to check out the Northside bars for a little minute. There was a group of guys walking behind me. They said something to me that I ignored. I figure it's a good idea to to tune out stupid drunk people and since I have children, I'm an expert at blocking out whatever it is I don't want to hear. So, one of the guys says, "Hey, I'd much rather have you tell me to fuck-off than to run off and ignore me."

Always willing to oblige someone a simple and attractive request, I turned around and said, "Fuck-off!" Then raised my arms and cheered myself for being so agreeable. All the guys followed suit by raising their arms and cheering me too. Sweet!

Later in the night, I went back to the Dublin and was designated to play songs on the jukebox. If you're a girl, you know you can't walk up to a juke box without some guy coming over and bugging/judging you about your music choices. On Saturday night a guy from Davenport came up and started giving me shit. He had just come from the 311 concert and was in good spirits and cute and pleasant and funny. So, it was fine. I even played the Pantera song he requested. Then when I was done, he introduced himself to me. I told him my name and he said, "Cool. I'll just warn you that I probably won't remember your name. I smoke a lot of pot." My guy friends told me I should give him points for honesty. So, fine. I gave him his imaginary points, but also wasn't tempted away from my self-imposed boy moratorium.

But Life is Just a Party and Parties Weren't Meant 2 Last

This was at a party on New Year's Eve last year. I hope to spend time with these two this year as well.

Since I'm not sure if I'll have time to blog tomorrow, I'm just going to do my New Year's Eve post tonight. Last year at this time I was at the beginning of a short-lived relationship with that one guy. He was a conquest guy and the thing about conquest guys, is that they definitely know how to woo a woman, they just tend to get bored and move on in a couple of months is all. True to that form, that one guy took me to Chicago the weekend before New Year's Eve where we ate sushi and played around in Wrigleyville on Saturday night and then went to a Bear's game on Sunday. Monday was New Year's Eve and we had a great time. Of course, I could never keep up that kind of pace, so it's just as well we're not dating anymore, because I'd probably be on some kind of life support after a year of that.

This year ends with me being single again, and though I'm ever hopeful that I'll meet someone I can have a long-term, healthy relationship with, I know I'd much rather be single than in an unhealthy relationship with someone who isn't right for me. So, instead of bemoaning the absence of something, I'm all for celebrating what I do have...And I feel like I have a lot to celebrate. My girls are great and we're all healthy and we have a warm home and I have a job with great benefits and I have a wonderful extended family and the craziest, funnest friends a girl could ask for.

The girls are at their dad's house and I don't have to work on New Year's day, so my plan for celebrating all of that tomorrow night looks like this: I'll get home from work around five, check out what I have and go to a store if I need something else, then make some fun foods. Right now I think I'll make a quiche and I have some potstickers in the freezer I'll heat up and make a funky sauce for them, and head over to my friend's house with the food and some beer around seven. We're all trying to do this as affordably as possible, hence the potluck and BYOB. We'll stay there for a while and maybe do some karaoke finally.

I have a couple of girlfriends who have to work the next day, so they were thinking about going out for a nice dinner and some wine, and I'll try to meet them for a drink somewhere before they call it an early night.

Around ten, we'll for sure go downtown. My crazy, fun friends are planning on hitting up the DJ'ed dance party at the Picador and the kids from the potluck party will be heading to the Dublin. Since my friend Alix is back visiting from Norway, I will try to find her somewhere as well. The nice thing about being single, is I don't have to worry about what anyone else does or doesn't want to do. I can go from one thing to the next or go home early or whatever. Don't think I'm not celebrating that kind of freedom tomorrow night either, because I am.

Whew! Yeah, I hope I make it home alive. I figure, I ended and began last year with a bang, and it went pretty well for me, I may as well follow that same plan for this year too.

And After It Rains, There's a Rainbow

Bags grow on trees here. it's true.

I'm sure you probably get tired of me always showing photos and yammering away about my town, but I'm going to do it again. It could be the weather, or the trees changing or the fun I've had recently, but I'm feeling particularly crushed-out on Iowa City lately.

Here is a picture of some guys taking their copy machine for an afternoon walk.

I've always had a thing for this town. It's weird, and quirky and it wears its politics on its sleeve, or The Pentacrest or downtown... It's always been really sweet to me too. When Coadster got in that horse and buggy accident when she was almost five months old, or after Stinky got meningitis or when we got hit by that tornado, it seemed half the people here asked what they could do to help. Iowa City has been extremely thoughtful that way.

Iowa City has really strict leash laws. So, don't go bringing your tables and chairs downtown without tying them up.

Sure, we've had our issues. It can be on the pretentious side. If I have to hear another sentence start with, "When I lived in New York... In New York, blah, blah blah..." I might have to punch someone's face in. It's also a little young for me. It's always so concerned with college classes and working on its movie or novel or band. How about a little less talking about it and a little more working on it, huh?

The walls of Iowa City closing in.

Iowa City can also feel like it's suffocating me. Sometimes I just need a little room to breathe, you know? Don't fence me in and all like that shit there. I do appreciate how much it notices things, though. I can't go anywhere without getting sighting information on my girls. I know it cares about my daughters safety and that means a lot to me.

A guy walking a tightrope on the Pentacrest, just because.

Mostly, I love how Iowa City is never boring. I can be ready to gouge my eyes out with my letter opener after inputting hundreds of high school transcripts at work, and think to myself as I leave for my lunch walk, "Okay, someone better fucking entertain me right now, or I can't be held accountable for my actions." And Iowa City always comes through. There's either guys walking tightropes or crazy people having in-depth conversations with inanimate objects, or I'll see some of the regulars who used to come into all of the restaurants where I worked and I'll crack-up thinking about the nicknames we gave them. I could easily be the mayor of this town of freaks...Okay, I'd have to get elected for that and I'm too lazy to run for office. How about the princess? Isn't that something you just fall into? I could be from some hidden royalty, don't you think?

Who knew tightrope walkers had groupies?

Whatever. I'm going through a HUGE honeymoon phase with this town right now. I'm old enough to know that the honeymoon can't last. In a month or so, when it's twenty below zero out, and icy and Iowa City is exerting its control issues by not letting me run outside, I'll totally bitch to my girlfriends and wonder what I ever saw in it, but right now, we're all rainbows, and unicorns and butterflies.

So, how about you? Are you crushed-out on your town or are you living together in quiet, or not so quiet resentment?

There's Always Something Happening and it's Usually Quite Loud

Well, kids. We're finally back from our travels. It was a great trip, but long and not exactly relaxing. I would have done things a lot differently if I had gone without my girls and if I had had a lot more money, but overall, I'd say we did a hell of a lot for the time and monetary restrictions we had. The post tonight will be a mostly photos and a general overview of the trip. I'll try to go back and recount things on a day to day basis in the next few posts. For now, this is what you get:

I finally got to go back and visit my beloved redwoods. And just to prove how much I love them, here's me hugging a big-ass tree with my overly long monkey arms. My friend K. texted me on my trip to tell me that she learned in yoga class that really long arms were a sign of generosity, so maybe they're not all bad.

While we were in King's Canyon, the girls got to hang-out inside a hollowed-out, downed tree. It's on its side and look how tall it still is.

We even met with my aunt and uncle and cousins and got them to take a photo with all three of us in it. That never happens, because usually one of us has to take the pic.

Oh, and just so you don't think I forgot. I took a cool action shot of a hot surfer guy at Half Moon Bay. You know I'm always looking out for my favorite girly blog readers...And I'm sure you'd do the same for me, right?

Mostly, what we accomplished on this trip, though, was some serious dorking-out. We dorked-out on the beach at Carmel.

We dorked-out at Hyde Pier in San Francisco...

And we dorked-out at the arcade off of Hyde Pier. Here's Stinky beating the arm wrestling machine. Although, I think using both hands might just be cheating.

We didn't even need to, (I think the hats said enough) but we gave it 110% by making the dumbest faces we could muster when we were on Pier 39.

And, finally, we truly out-dorked ourselves by posing with comedians at the wax museum. Seriously, if I had any shame whatsoever, even I would be embarrassed at this display of wanton dorkiness. It's a good thing I don't huh?

I Know You've Been Eager to Fly Now

Hey, kids. This will be a mostly photo post of my 4th of July. It was an action packed adventure, after my hangover finally left me. I went out to the Radillac Farm where the girls and I used to live for a while and watched some bands.


I missed seeing FMDM's band play, but I made up for it by flipping him a bunch of shit when I got there. As you can see from this photo where he's walking away from me and I think flipping me the bird, he may not have thought it was a fair trade off.


Anyway, the farm had all those things you generally associate with the 4th. There were cute kids playing with gigantic beach calls.


There were lots of big dogs getting tons of attention from all the humans.


And there was also someone getting hooks pierced through his chest.


So, he could be strung up by them just like in those Native American sun rituals. I have to say, it was pretty tough to watch. I'd have to snap a photo, and then look away, and then snap a photo and then look away. I don't really get why anyone would feel the need to do this, but I guess that's why they call this a free country, huh?

After I got back from the farm, Stinky and I were just hanging out, eating dinner and watching stupid TV before we went to watch the fireworks, when I went out to my car to grab something. I walked outside to the sight of 15 cop cars blocking off our street for about a block each way. There were also two bike cops and an undercover police car, plus two more in the alley behind our house. We live in about the safest, most residential neighborhood you can think of, so I was very surprised. I went out to ask one of the cops if I should be worried and lock my door, but he said they just caught the guy. Apparently, some total asshole was all raged out and threatening to shoot people. Awesome.

You wouldn't think we'd need anymore spectacle or excitement in our day, but we went to watch the fireworks anyway. Hey, it was the Fourth of July. What else were we going to do?

It's Those Restless Hearts That Never Mend

So, apparently I thought it was a good idea to start the weekend early tonight. My friend K. called me to tell me that she and her boyfriend were heading down to The Dublin and wanted to see if I'd join them. Why, yes I would.
When I got there, my friend Libby and her husband R. were there and my favorite bartender, S. was working. It was another really nice night. S. is one of the worst (read: best) punsters in the world and he was in fine form. We also played great songs on the juke box and talked about the music festival thingy we're going to the weekend after the 4th that's in Lone Tree and has a bunch of local bands playing. It should be really fun.

What's going on this weekend, you ask? Well, I'm not really sure. The last two weekends were so eventful and this one is kind of void of events, which is nice for a change. Trek Fest is going on in Riverside, Ia this weekend (the future birthplace of James T. Kirk). I don't know if I'll make it to that, but rumor has it that the actor who played Chekov is going to be there.

Tomorrow night my friend K. is going to have a cookout at her house and then there will be some hanging out with her neighbors. She lives on this great little street right by the cemetery and almost everyone on her block is delightfully quirky in their own little way. In other words, they're awesome. Other than that, I got nuthin'...And that's okay too.

I'd Love to Try and Settle Down

I've been doing some more planning on my trip that will take place in about two months. I feel like I have a pretty good handle on how I want it to go. I'm still vacillating between trying to plan and reserve rooms on a day to day basis or if I want to just wing it, so we don't have the pressure of having to be somewhere at a certain time, if a better option comes along.

The other thing I've been thinking about is how to get in contact with the three most important people in my life when I lived in San Francisco in the eighties. Apparently, none of them are Googleable. Two of them have fairly common names and the other must have changed her last name.

I know I've said before how bad I am about staying touch with people. I'm trying much harder now, and now that there are cell phones and email, it's easier, but I'm still dealing with my past mistakes, like losing my three best friends from the mid-eighties. Here's another one of my roll calls:

1.) Neal was my first real boyfriend. We dated from the time we were 19 until we were 22. I think he may have set my expectations too high and ruined me for any other guy who followed. We definitely had plenty of issues, but as I've said before, no matter how heinous or cranky or insecure or annoying, I ever was, (and I was in my early twenties, so just imagine...) he always loved me and told me how amazing he thought I was and meant it. I don't think I've ever had that since.

I'm certainly not interested in anything romantic, I just want to see how everything turned out for him. I wonder if he still eats live grasshoppers to freak people out, or if he still sings the wrong lyrics to songs to see if he can get people to believe him, or if he's still as passionate about the principle of a thing, at the risk of everything else.

2.) I'd also like to see my friend Pitti (a nickname). She was my roommate in San Francisco and the first woman I bonded with in that city. At the time, I was pretty fucked up and not very open or emotional (hard to believe, huh?) She was all emotion and feeling and she laid out all her joy and pain for anyone to see. I thought she was so brave and she scared the shit out of me. She did a lot to help open me up, just by her example.

I wonder if she still paints every day, or if she has found some kind of happiness, or if she still drives around flashing the peace sign out of the sun roof of her car.

3.) Katie was a few years older than I was, and she was a huge ball of happiness and joy. I was still pretty punk rock at the time and she was so good in helping me get over myself. She was a Chinese medical doctor and had us drinking all kinds of weird fungus teas and eating bizarre herbs. I used to come home to find her boyfriend sitting on the couch with gigantic accupuncture needles sticking out of his forehead. I remember one instance in particular with her that makes me miss her to this day. There used to be one day a year where the city of San Francisco would pick up any crap anyone wanted to put up on their curb. On the eve of that day, Katie and I got high and wandered up to Diamond Heights where the rich people lived to look at their incredible cast-offs. We found this really expensive couch that didn't smell at all like cat pee and sat there for hours lost in our stoned tangents, holding our new found treasures.

I wonder if she still works on AIDS patients, or if her hair is still way bigger than mine, or if she still cranks up music and dances around her living room in September on those first few warm days where the fog finally lifts after the cold, cold Summer in San Francisco.

If I had tons of money, I'd think about hiring a private detective, those people are so important to me.

Well the Kids Are All Hopped Up and Ready to Go

So, this weekend was kind of a roller coaster. Friday night was hard for me for reasons I won't go into on here, but the weirdness carried into Saturday and I wasn't at all sure that I was in the mood to drive to the Quad Cities for the pool tournament.

As I've said before, I went for a four year period where I rarely went out and didn't date at all. Part of it was that I can be a bit of a homebody, but most of it was that I was scared of putting myself out there and getting hurt. Last year I vowed to just suck it up and make myself go do stuff. And yes, I have been hurt since then, but it's easily been overcome by the crazy wonderful experiences I've had. So, I decided to keep on keeping on, and made myself drive to the tournament.

As usual, the pay off was huge. State pool tournament land is different than the normal world. I walked into the hotel room and all my favorite girls were there, along with some new amazing women I hadn't yet met. The Ramones were on the CD player, and there was every kind of junk food imaginable, as well as lots and lots of drinks.

All of that sounds great, right? But not in comparison to the company. These women are awesome. They are total straight shooters, they don't backstab or stir shit and they are always there when you need them. They also respect their own relationships, and if they aren't in one, they respect everyone else's too. It sounds impossible, but they really are that cool. Plus, they had a strict no woman left behind policy for the weekend, so you didn't have to worry if you got too drunk or couldn't keep up.

The girls were done playing pool by the time I arrived, but they took the time to show me around the tournament, and even pointed out the woman who offered my friend T. a lap dance after their game. Then we decided to venture out into the big city of Davenport.

The first bar we entered was called Buzzie's, I think. The downstairs area was crowded and not very inviting, but there was the promise of cheese fries, so we soldiered on to the upstairs area where we found this large banquet table and decided to take a Last Supper inspired photo of the team. I think it turned out more than a little awesome.

The other side of the upstairs area was full of pool playing boys in kilts. For real. I know, we were all amazed by our own dumb luck too. They were from Cedar Rapids and there for the tournament. They told us they weren't allowed to wear their kilts during the tournament. When we got all up in arms about how sexist that was, one of them said, "Yeah, but we also don't have to have periods or go through menopause, so we can't get all that upset about it." Okay, they were our new best friends.

Because state tournament world is different than the real world, these guys were all cute and goofy and not the least bit creepy. They were all about having fun and they not only weren't intimidated by our bawdy, rowdy ways, they actually thought we were charming. See what I mean? This would never have happened at any other place or time.

The boys finally left to check out other bars, but not before one of our girls was smart enough to give them her number. They called and texted to let us know where they were at each new bar while we stayed a little longer to play pool, or in my case, to act like a total fucking idiot. Hey, I gotta go with my strengths.

Since this is already too long, I'm going to call this part one, and finish with part two tomorrow. Night night.

What It Is Ain't Exactly Clear

Here's me fanning myself with my friend's head on a stick. It looks a little disconcerting, doesn't it? (photo courtesy of the Neffs)

The beginning of this post might sound a little bit like that old "Jim's Journal" cartoon. Today I was practical and it was fine. I worked, and then I went to the dentist and had a cavity filled and that was relatively painless. Then I came home and cleaned and finally, I went to yet another of Coadster's choir concerts. See? It was all just fine.

This weekend, though? Guess what's going on in our town this weekend. They're having the funeral for that family that got bludgeoned to death by their dad. It will be so sad and tragic all on it's own. But then that one stupid guy who protests military funerals because somehow there might be homosexuals in the military? Wait. Why is it again that he protests military funerals? Anyway, you know that douche bag I'm talking about, right? He's coming to protest the funeral, because apparently, Iowa is some HUGE mecca for gay tolerance. I've lived here a long time, and I had no idea that was the case, did you? So, from what I hear, there is a group of bikers who come and protest the douche bag homophobe guy and on top of that, there will be tons of cops trying to enforce the new "500 feet protester keep their distance" rule. I guess what I'm saying is, JAAAAAYSUS! I will be as far away from that circus as possible.

What I'll be doing instead is going to The Dublin to celebrate my friend GW's birthday on Friday night. Then on Saturday during the day, I'll meet some friends for sushi and shoe shopping. This, of course, is Stinky's dream afternoon. We did it once before, and she can't stop talking about how much she liked it and how much fun my friends are.

My wish for you this weekend, my gentle readers, is that you avoid douche bag homophobes and unnecessary drama. Amen.

I'm Wide Awake on Memories

So, tonight was a night for great and terrible stories. First I met the supper club people at Shakespeare's and one of the guys there was training to be an over-the-road trucker. He was telling us about this old trucker who was his trainer and the stories were not pretty at all, but so amusing. The worst part was that the old school trucker guy never wanted to stop and kept a garbage can with baggies full of his urine and feces in it and traveled around like that. Yeah, I promise I won't go into any more detail, but just know there were a whole lot of people saying, "Ew" over and over again during the telling.

Then I grabbed the Coadster and we headed to Van Allen Hall for the John Irving reading. Like many people my age, I fell in love with his work after reading The World According to Garp in high school. It was so dirty and quirky and there was so much mention of Iowa, that I wanted to live in that twisted world as long as I could. Then in 1985 when I lived in the redwoods and we had to drive all the way to Eureka to buy art supplies, music and books, I was starving for anything decent to read. My brother sent me the hard copy of The Cider House Rules for my birthday that Summer and I spent an entire weekend, lying on my favorite rock on the Eel River reading that book and pissing off my favorite river otter who really didn't want me hanging out on his turf. So, I was so excited to not only hear him read, but share it with the Coadster. She loved the movie Simon Birch when she was a kid, and was really interested in his work.

The hall was packed. So packed, in fact, that Lan Samantha Chang had to get up and tell us that we were officially a fire code violation and all had to move to a bigger lecture hall in the business building. It was kind of funny to watch so many people elbowing and running over to the new venue to get a decent seat. Once we were there Samantha Chang said that it was great to see 500 people all walking down the street for something other than a Hawkeye football game.

Irving was an excellent reader. He chose a chapter from his soon to be released novel that took place in Iowa City in 1967. Coadster has always loved reading about the 1960's, so she was really intrigued. Then toward the end of the chapter, he described the block on Iowa Avenue right where we lived until Coadster was seven. She knew every place he described. It was fun to see her get so excited about a reading. The best part came when Coadster said, "This was really awesome. We should go to some more readings together." Oh yeah, I done bred myself a little nerd girl child, just like me.

Doesn't Take Much to Make Me Happy

Well, kids. It's late and I have a lot to say (as usual) but not a lot of time. So, we'll see what I get done tonight. My weird funk fog lifted at some point after work. It was strange, because it was so sudden and dramatic, like I had been hypnotized and someone snapped their fingers and boom, I was back to being my normal optimistically goofy but acerbic self. I made a point to text Erik right away, because I figured he would want to know I lowered the freak flag and I was feeling much better. Of course, he called me immediately and was wonderful and encouraging and supportive and all of those things that I try never, ever to take for granted about him.

Which leads me to my next thing. Today was also our two month anniversary. We don't really count the three weeks of constant texting and calling before that as part of our relationship, because things don't become real until you get all up-close and personal. Don't get me wrong, I loved the prelude, but this is one of those rare times where the actual day-to-day, living stuff has even been better than the promise was. Which isn't to say, that the long distance thing hasn't been tough or that we don't have our own, very unique personality challenges. (Seein's how we both have very unique personalities) But as Erik pointed out tonight, it's been really great so far - both the ups and working through the downs.

Now, all I have to do is get ready for the weekend. Erik and his friend M. are driving up from St Louis on Friday night. It's been almost two weeks since I've seen him, so I'm more than jonesing. Tonight I've been nesting and cleaning and looking at cookbooks. Tomorrow night, I'll go shopping and bake the dessert. On Friday after work, I'll really start cooking. Since Erik and my friend K. have both been sick, I'm making two different kinds of soup (miso and carrot/cashew/ginger). In addition, I'll make a beef and veggie stir fry, rice, salad, and if I can find the recipe, these pumpkin cheese cake bars. Because of all the sick kids, I thought I also might break out the juicer and squeeze out some anti-oxidants.

Okay, I better git. I got my work cut out for me.

Naughty Boys Need Love Too

Hey, kids. I'm going to say it loud, I'm back and I'm proud. I drove home in horrible snow and icy conditions with my friend T. and we made it here with all of our limbs in tact and as much sanity as we left with. (yeah, shut-up)

So, here's the deal. I'm beat, so I'm going to make this as short as possible so I can try to get some sleep. Tomorrow I can tell you about the drive and about how kick-ass my sister and bro-in-law were and how much fun my girls had with their cousins in Ottumwa and how much fun I had with Erik in St Louis, but for now, I'm showing you some pictures and following Erik's suggestion for writing about his friend who we shall call El Dozer.

First of all, let me say that El Dozer is one of the few people I've met who talks more shit than I do. I know. I didn't think it was possible either, but I'm hear to tell you that it is.

Secondly, El Dozer has ridiculed me and my blog, by reading the posts about Erik aloud to him in a mocking tone and then telling me that I was a geek and an attention whore by even having a blog. Right. As if, establishing an on-line community of readers with a bunch of people I've never met makes me a geek. And just because I post tons of photos of myself and my friends and then write text about myself and my friends for a bunch of people I've never met, does that make me an attention whore? Okay, you know what, you can shut-up and not answer that one either.

Let's get back to El Dozer. Even though he talks a lot of shit and has high-five tourettes after he's been drinking, it turns out, he can be tamed. All it takes is the right kind of discipline, and El Dozer is as docile as a kitten.

See? He can be taught to be quiet and respectful.

And then he's all about the love.

Okay. So, now that I wrote a post about El Dozer on my blog, does that mean I can call him a geeky attention whore too?