Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Can You Live This Fantasy Life?

In case you didn't already figure it out, I bought some new batteries. I can finally show you my flowers. Sure, they're kind of like weeds, but I'm proud of them anyway.

Remember how I said I had been fantasizing about what I'd do on my days off? Yeah, well, I thought it might be fun to look at what I thought might happen on my first day of fun, as opposed to what actually took place.


1. I wake-up early and get a run in so I can start my day with a free high and have plenty of time to get things done.

2. The girls and I clean our house. Miraculously, it only takes a half hour to get all of our work done. The girls don't fight and I don't get cranky and we all look amazing and fresh and wear strings of pearls like they used to do in old TV shows from the sixties.

3. I take my change into the bank. Even though it didn't look like that much, there must have been a lot more quarters than I thought. The young, hot college guy bank teller comes back with forty dollars and I go to the comic book store to buy some of the graphic novels my awesome readers suggested.

4. I come home and Stinky and I put 1,000 songs into my phone. The process is quick and painless and I don't have to swear or kick anything.

5. The girls and I go to the pool. I stick my feet in the water and read all the comic books and listen to my new music so I don't have to overhear the frat boys sitting next to me talk about their most recent conquests. Oh yeah, even though it seems really warm out, I don't sweat and my hair doesn't get all huge from the frizz.

6. In the evening, the girls go to their dad's house and I go visit Mr Dateman who looks really good and makes me laugh my ass off.


1. Coadster wakes me up after 10 when she gets home from running with the cross country team. I didn't even hear her leave the house. I putz around on the computer and finally go running around eleven. I don't get home until after noon.

2. After my shower, I think about cleaning, but when I mention it to the girls, Stinky asks me if I wouldn't rather try to put songs into my phone instead. (I hate when she uses my ADD against me) I make a huge play list and try to get it all into my phone. It will only accept four of the songs and we can't figure out why. We try a couple of things that don't work, and I kick and swear at a few different inanimate objects. It takes so long, we don't get around to cleaning.

3. I take my change to the bank downtown. Apparently, there were a lot more pennies than I thought. The surly, disgruntled, recently graduated bank teller comes back with my $7.52 and asks me if I want it back in a five and two ones or all ones. Since I'm not going to a strip club anytime soon, I take the five. I decide not to go to the comic book store, because I don't have enough to buy a graphic novel now.

4. Mr Dateman calls and says that for various reasons, he can't hang-out at our normal time or as long as usual. I stop by his place after I take Stinky to the movie theater to meet her friends. At least I get to see him, and he still looks really good, and he makes me laugh my ass off.

5. The girls and I all have other things to do, so we don't make it to the pool.

6. The girls go to their dad's and I stop by my friend K's house. She and my friend T. are about to meet a couple of girls at Shakespeare's (a bar/restaurant) and ask me if I want to join them. Since I'm a little tired, my original plan was to go home and read or watch a movie, but I don't have the girls and I don't have to work the next day, so I tag along. It turns out my friend I., who lives in Fairfield is in town. He's kind of like a wind-up toy and he just goes and goes and goes and it's great because I don't have to do anything but be entertained. We talk about the crap we grew-up eating and how to cook perfect tater tots and how we all fondly remember chipped beef on toast (or shit on a shingle) but none of us ever eat it anymore.

My friends K and A. show-up and it is awesome because they never, ever go out. They just live a few blocks away in Alphabet City, so we go to their house after we're done and I meet their newest dog and oooh and aaah over their gigantic TV. It suddenly hits me that I need to go home and I'm back before nine o'clock.

After looking at both lists, I can't decide if my fantasy or my reality was better - it's kind of six one way, a half dozen the other. Most importantly, it was a good day off.


evil-e said...

You can work on the fantasy list today(thurs), the first day of vacation is always the day when you say "I've got plenty of time". You did manage to get some stuff done.

Remiman said...

Rude Becky, Yup I date her every year; she always puts on an awsome show.

Golly, when you're rested and on top of your game you can write up a storm and make me laugh my ass off. ;-)

Trevor said...

I'd never heard it called Alphabet City before. Ha. We're right on the edge of it. I'm using that name.

Babybull40 said...

it's funny how what we imagine to happen doesn't always go as the real life plan.. You did get a few things done and still mangaed to enjoy your first day off.. You gotta give yourself some time to fiddle fart around..

Matt said...

Hmmmmm... chipped beef on toast. Brings back memories of before dawn breakfast at my grandmothers. My my dad, uncles and I would pile into the station wagons and go hunting after that feast.

booda baby said...

AND you got a picture of an amazing flower.

Except for the $40, your reality was just about as good as the fantasy. Oh. And except for the house getting cleaned. That would be nice. Oh. NO. That's MY fantasy.

l.b. said...

Well the fantasy day rocks but the reality was how you rolled. I talk like that when I am being a dork, so basically always.

AKS said...

Amazing picture - Love it! And your day off was sooo much more productive than any of mine - ever really I mean it - I couldn't have even gotten the fantasy finished -

Michael said...

Weeds? that's Maryland's state flower!

Churlita said...


Boy, the time goes fast when you're home during the week instead of at work.


So, are you saying you would have taken the ones?


You should. I've heard it called that by several people.


Absolutely. I wasn't upset or anything. It's always fun to compare what you imagine and then what's real.


I've never had it for breakfast before.

Booda Baby,

Yeah, I'd take either scenario - except I would prefer $40 and a clean house.


I love dork talk. It's the only language I understand.


Your kids are a lot younger. I don't remember getting anything done when my girls were the same age as your boys.


I love them. When I say weeds, I realy mean wild flowers.