If I Could Only Give You Everything You Know I Haven't Got

Here is a UNI panther.

Soooo, this weekend seems like it went on for months....In a good way, though. It was a great weekend. I had a lot of fun, I got to spend time with the girls, and actually got some stuff done.

Coadster and I went on our college visit to UNI. It was helpful for her in a lot of ways. She's so spoiled living in our college town. The campus sits right next to our downtown area and it's very convenient for students. At UNI, the campus is a ways away from the downtown and Coadster didn't like that as much. Their music education program is probably the best in the state, and unlike our music building, theirs didn't get ruined in a flood. We'll still go visit Iowa State as well as a few other campuses in the next few months.

The weird thing about the visit for me was that most of the outsides of the buildings looked the same. Going back there brought on this incredible feeling of loneliness. I don't remember being super lonely when I was a student back in the eighties, but it hit me so hard for the few hours we were there. It felt a little like if we walked too far off the campus, we'd find that the world just ended there. Like UNI was the last island somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Odd.

Here is our friend John ripping open my favorite bartender S.'s shirt. Always awesome.

I took the girls to their dad's house and went running when we got back into town. I had a few lovely hours to myself and then met people down at the Dublin at 9.

We had a great time and it just so happened they were having the West High class reunion of 1983 meet there. They had postponed their 25th high school reunion from last year because of the flood. I didn't go to school there, but I knew some of the kids from college. So, the fun was multiplied.

Here we are all sending/shoving our friend John back to Boston.

I tired to stay out as long as I could, but it had been a long day on top of a long week, and I needed to go home and rest. Hopefully, our friend John was sufficiently hung-over when he boarded his plane the next morning.

I Found the Light in the Tunnel at the End

Here is that dam power plant.

Okay, kids. I felt much better today. That massage must have worked some weird hoodoo on my ass and made me feel all wonky for the rest of the day. Now I'm back and better than before...Well, at least I'm back anyway.

I only ran my six mile route today and then actually got some cleaning and organizing done. I found that it helped to just take one small portion of a room at a time, so it didn't feel quite so overwhelming. I went through a box of papers from a few years ago and threw out most of them, but found my birth certificate and some hilarious old photos. One is of me when I was about a year and a half and I look amazingly like Chris Farley in it. Hawt! I also tackled one of my bigger book shelves and my microwave and another part of my kitchen. It didn't seem like that much when I divided and conquered it all.

Here's the other side of the river from the power plant.

Tomorrow Coadster and I are doing our quick college visit. She's off at work, but the kids are having a talent show, and she wants to be back to support them and check out their costumes and such. She is so damn dedicated.

Later in the afternoon my girls are going with their dad to the Quad Cities. So, it looks like I have a night to play. A friend of ours who was here for RAGBRAI, is finally going back to his home and his girlfriend in Boston. It sounds like we're going to try and send him off with a hangover.

I'm not sure what's on tap for Saturday. My friend's ex-boyfriend is getting married, so I think I'll be a REALLY good friend and help her get drunk and take her mind off of it. The things I do for my friends.....

Have a great weekend and let me know what kind of trouble you're planning on finding.

I Want to Know What I've Lost Today

Here are some flowers in different phases of existence.

Soooo, today I ran my 8 mile route and then got my massage. The massage was great and well needed and all...But then when I was done, I felt all weird and fragile and kind of down. Is that normal? I have heard of people crying after a massage, and that makes some sense. It's a release of sorts. I wondered if it was all those toxins getting worked-out. it also made me extremely tired, so maybe it's all tied together somehow.

Okay. Since I'm still overwhelmed and sleepy, I think I'll stop writing. It's bad enough when I'm well rested. Who knows what kind of stupid shit I'll write when I'm like this.

She Sees My Good Deeds, and She Kisses Me Windy

Here is a view from under a bridge. They've been working on a lot of the bridges around town that were exposed to the flood last Summer.

Today I flew without a net. That's right. I didn't write a list. What that meant was that I ran my 7 mile route, rode my bike for an hour, took photos around town, scheduled my massage for tomorrow, finished the book I started yesterday, but didn't do any real cleaning. I'm sure I'll feel like cleaning and organizing crap tomorrow...Ahem.

Here are railroad tracks as seen through some bars.

Stinky called to let me know that she got a shiner at basketball camp. She said she's fine, but that it does hurt a little. She sounds like she's having a great time though. Maybe I should make her play four basketball games a day to mellow her out at home too.

I Never Minded Workin' Hard, It's Who I'm Workin' For

This here looks like a pretty straight shot.

Soooo, I wasn't as good at getting the housework portion of my list accomplished. My rule is that I'm on vacation, so I'm going to try to get as much done as possible, but I'm not allowed to beat myself up if it all doesn't get done. You'll be happy to know that I did the important things, like run, reserve camping spaces for our quick trip to Devil's Lake in August, start reading the book that was suggested to me on Saturday night (Philip K. Dick's Do Android's Dream of Electric Sheep?) and make chicken fajitas and de gallo salsa and guac for Coadster and I for dinner.

Just so you guys know, I'm doing limited blog activity this week as well. I'm trying to post every day, but I probably won't get around to replying to comments or reading everyone's blogs every day. Sorry, but it takes a lot of time to be a woman of leisure.

All Your Compliments and Cutting Remarks, Are Captured Here in the Quotation Marks

The name of this band is The Old Man.

So, this weekend was kind of weird. On Friday night I started my hibernation. The plan was to just rest. I had my jammies on by 6 and settling in with my girls to watch Coraline in 3-D around 9'ish. We got about a half hour into it, when our power went out. We hadn't been paying attention. There was this crazy, nasty thunderstorm going on all around us, and we were totally oblivious. We started calling and texting people to find out if they had power, and if they did, was there a tornado warning. Everything outside suddenly got quiet and that's when Coadster freaked. She was sure we were getting hit with another tornado. Luckily, it was just a bad storm.

Then I got a blinding migraine to match the weather outside. We went around lighting candles. I found my meds and had to lie down for most of the evening. The girls read by flashlights and finally went to bed around midnight. Our electricity came back on about one in the morning.

Here is our friend who was drenched in sweat after playing in such a hot, hot room.

I woke up migraine free on Saturday. It was the first day of my list making. I got almost everything on the list done too. Good for me. We'll see how long it lasts. I ran, cleaned my house, took all my recycling in and did a few loads of laundry.

I had to hang out in the parking lot with all the smokers to escape the opressive heat of the building.

On Saturday night, I met my friend G. She had two guy friends back in town for an informal college reunion. They were pretty fun and goofy and went with us to see some live music. The band we went to see was great, but the venue where they played was unbearably hot. One of the bartenders said the air was on, but it was WAY warmer inside than outside. I decided to hang out in the parking lot and then we made a break for it after the first band finished playing.

Back in the cooler confines of the Dublin where all was rainbows and unicorns and happy dolphins.

The Dublin was so much cooler and pleasant. I spent a few hours talking about books and music and drinking cool refreshing beverages. It was perfect.

Today I followed the list for my second day of vacation. I ran, got things ready for Stinky to go to basketball camp, cleaned the inside and outside of my car and went grocery shopping. I love that Coadster still giggles when we sit in the car wash and are getting sprayed by the thing that comes over the roof.

We'll see how tomorrow goes as far as my list is concerned. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on it, so that I don't get disappointed. It does feel good to get most of it accomplished though.

Good News Will Work Its Way to All Them Plans

Here is me dancing like a total dork. I will be doing this throughout my post to celebrate my upcoming, week long vacation.

Sooooo, one more day until my week off. What I didn't tell you guys, is that after I asked for the time off, I found out that Stinky had basketball camp out of town and then Coadster got her job. Coadster now works four ten hour days and gets one day off. On that day, she and I will make a college visit to UNI. I haven't been there since I was a student in 1983. It should be pretty weird. I wonder if it will look familiar at all.

More dorked-out dancing. Apparently, I never get tired of it.

The rest of the week will be mine. I'll see Coadster a few evenings and Stinky will be back on Thursday, but then they leave for the Quad Cities for most of the weekend with their dad. I can't remember when I've had that big a block of free time without work or my girls. I'm calling it my hibernate and reevaluate week. I plan on cleaning and organizing my life. Yeah, I know. A year would be more realistic, but I'm taking what I can get. The plan is to make a list for every day. I'll clean and organize one area of my house, then spend the rest of the day doing something for myself. It could include writing, drawing and painting, reading, watching movies, riding my bike, getting my massage or playing video games. The point is not just to try and get some work done, but to also spend quality time with myself. I know it sounds totally weird, but I'm one of those people who can't process things as I go. When I get busy and things get too social, I get kind of off-kilter. So, I know myself well enough to slow down and do things that I love, and get my feet back on the ground and my head back in the game. I can't tell you how much better I like myself when I make that effort.

I think I'm doing some kind of bizarre windmill maneuver here....Uh, yeah. Who the hell knows.

Tomorrow when I get off work, I'll run if it's nice, then I think the girls and I might watch Coraline with 3-D glasses. Yes, my whole family is just THAT nerdy. Thank you very much.

Saturday begins my Churlita mental wellness celebration. I'll write my list at the beginning of the day and run and do my chores and spend time with the girls. Saturday night I'm supposed to meet G.'s friends who will be in from Europe. She wants us to go to a show at a bar called Kandyland, but we're leaving things open to see how it goes.

Now, what are your plans for the weekend? Will you be celebrating your mental/metal health or will you be geeking out with your family?

I Rode My Bicycle Past Your Window Last Night

A recycled picture of me from about 4th grade. Sorry to have to keep using the same ones, but I'm the youngest, so I only have a few kid pics.

Ananda at Oodles of Funch was talking about her first cycling mishap. It sounded like something fun to write about, so I'm copying her:

"Put the pedal to the metal, Linetti. Burn rubber!" I yelled because I just looked back and saw the boys gaining on us. She was riding my new red, white and blue Liberty Bell bike, with a banana seat. I let her because she was bigger and stronger than me and I knew she would make us go faster.

It was all my fault the Peyton boys were even chasing us. We were in my yard eating lemons with salt, when Mark yelled at us, "Hey, stupid girls!" I never liked him. His brother Glen was nice. Glen used to mow our lawn and one time he caught a horny toad for me for my birthday. Because it was an endangered species, I was going to let it go in 3 days. But my cat bit its head off before I had a chance and I was sure I was going to jail. Mark was just plain mean, though.

So, I took aim as they headed toward their house and hit Mark right on the back of his head with my lemon. He called out to his brother and they both stopped. Before they could turn their bikes around, Linetti and I hopped on mine and there we all were, racing around the block.

I sat behind her and let my feet dangle down as we sped down the street. It was good to feel the wind against my bare legs and feet. Since we lived in Arizona where it is almost always warm, I hardly ever wore shoes. My mom made me around my grandma, because it bothered her and she would always tell me that my feet would get too wide and I'd never be able to buy shoes when I got older, but mostly I went everywhere barefoot.

We were almost at the Harley house, when my heel got caught in the spokes of the back wheel of the Liberty Bell. Clunk! The bike just stopped and Linetti went over the handle bars. I'm not sure how I landed, just that I was really scraped up and my heel was cut and flapping when I tried to walk.

All the bikers hanging out at the Harley house ran over. First they checked to see if we were okay, then they yelled at the boys. The Peyton boys were no strangers to trouble and were smart enough to ride their asses away as fast as they could.

Linetti was fine except for a few scrapes and walked my bike with me through backyards to get to my house faster. Flap, flap, flap, went my foot as I walked. And the blood. There was so much blood. I didn't cry until I saw my mom. That's how it was with me. I was always fine until I saw my mom...And then I lost it. We didn't go to the hospital. Instead my mom ran some water in the tub and had me soak my foot in it. She bandaged it after the bleeding stopped, and to this day there is a crooked smile on my right heel.

Don't Want to End Up a Cartoon in a Cartoon Graveyard

Stinky took this photo of some African daisies I planted a few years ago that want to take over my garden.

So, I came home from work and couldn't get my computer to open. Since my first instinct is always to spaz, I freaked and just assumed my computer was dead and that I'd have to figure out if I could afford another one and if I couldn't, I might actually have to talk to people in person during the week and not rely on a certain social networking site to provide me with a life and then the whole world would explode and all of humanity would die off, leaving nothing but rubble, dander, and feces to remember us by...Then I got a paper bag out of the counter to breathe into and collected myself a bit. Once I did, I realized that it was just that our mouse was dead. Ahem. It was the one we got with the computer, so it should come as no surprise to a rational person....So, Stinky and I took a little trip to Best Buy and bought ourselves a new one for cheap. I don't know if you're aware of it, but in the last 5 or 10 years they came out with these new fangled things called wireless mouses, and they sure are neat-o. In other words, I love my new mouse.

On the way to the mall, Stinky was prattling on and said, "So, I guess Ellen's mom has gone totally crazy lately..."

"Uh oh. Is she okay? What is she doing?"

"Well, she's making Ellen turn her computer off at 9:30 every night to read for an hour," Stinky explained.

"Scandalous!"

"No. But I mean, it's Summer. You shouldn't have to start doing homework for at least another month."

"Didn't you say Ellen slacked-off last trimester and got really bad grades? Her mom is probably getting all crazy trying to help her daughter do better in school next year. Damn. They ought to get her in a straight jacket, where she can't do anymore good for herself or others...." I said and could almost feel Stinky's eyes roll.

While we were at Best Buy, I did make a little purchase. I'm not sure if you've heard of it? It's called the Watchmen movie? I never got a chance to see it when it came out in theaters. It was the first graphic novel I ever read way back in the 80's and so I've always had a soft spot in my heart (and head) for it. I didn't get a chance to watch it tonight, but I'm taking a whole week of vacation next week, so I intend to spend an amazing day reading my new graphic novels by a pool somewhere and then watching my new graphic (from what I've heard about the large blue appendage) movie at night. I should be in geek heaven whatever day that falls on. Woot!

She Comes and Goes and Comes and Goes Like No One Can

My friend J. kissing her brand new husband.

So, now we're on to Saturday. The girls wanted to go to the mall and you all know how much it pains me to step foot into that den of inequity. I agreed anyway, because I know how happy it makes them when I do. It's weird. You'd think they'd want to go without me so they could flirt with boys and spend some time there, without me telling them they have five minutes until my head explodes and they have to start scraping the pieces of my brain off the floor and walls. I guess all I can do is keep saying my new mantra - "Teenagers are weird. Teenagers are weird. Teenagers are weird..." and enjoy the fact that they still want to hang out with me.

My camera was all wonky for some reason and made us all look like George Hamilton in this pic.

Around 8:30, I picked up G. and we headed to the wedding festivities. My girl crush was in town for it, and that made it just that much MORE fun. We all had a great time. The bride was beautiful and happy and we had one hell of a dance party.

The girl crush getting woman-handled by D., while everyone else was trying to keep the peace/piece.

At one point, we were all dorking-out, doing our old-skool dance maneuvers. I was doing my silly Russian Kossak dance that I find so entertaining. I didn't count on how slippery the dance floor was, and my feet ended up flying out from under me and I landed flat on my ass. One of my ex-boyfriends was there with his current girlfriend. The minute my friend G. walked in from having a ciggie, he had to tell her of my dance mishap. She just laughed and said, "When isn't Churlita falling on her ass?"

Back at the old Dublin Underground.

The reception ended pretty early. Since I wasn't really drinking, (Yeah, I fall on my ass when I'm completely sober) I drove everyone back into town. G.'s ex was having his bachelor party at the Dublin. Gawd, this town is tiny! I stayed for about a half hour of that, but then I was ready to go. I drove my friends with the new baby home, and then stayed up way too late lying in my bed with Stinky, watching a cheesy movie. I really just needed to be home with my girly.

But That's Me Stumbling Away. Slowly Learning That Life is Okay

Here I am opening some gifts at my birthday party on Friday night.

So, my four days just flew by. I tried to do everything I was supposed to, but didn't quite get it all done. Of course, I had a great extended weekend anyway.

After running around so much on my actual birthday, I gave myself some time to rest on Friday. It was only like, 68 degrees out and cloudy most of the day. So, Stinky and I took it as a good day to lie around and do a whole lot of nothing. It was heavenly, until it got really late and I was left scrambling around trying to get ready for my party.

I got to the Dublin around 9. My daughters told me it would be poor form to arrive late to my own party. Point taken. My friend Mr. Meister made everyone sing "Happy Birthday" to me when he saw me walking downstairs. Then my girlfriends sat me down and had me open gifts. I had asked people not to give me gifts, but my friends never listen. So, I got an hour and a half Swedish massage, some make up and many beer tokens (you can give them to the bartenders at the Dublin for free beers). Then my friend K. and her boyfriend Adam got me some graphic novels. All perfect gifts for me.

Here I am with two of my best girlfriends and Brando from Circle Jerk at the Square Dance blog.

I got a nice surprise when Brando stopped down. He and his wife used to be my neighbors, and are still currently blogging buddies. They were in town for his wife to teach at the Summer Writing Festival here. I was lame and missed seeing TLB and their lovely baby, but I was promised that they would be back this Fall when hopefully things won't be so crazy.

John in town from Boston and kissing his brother-in-law (for the most part) and my favorite bartender S.

It also happened to be the night before RAGBRAI. If you're not from Iowa, RAGBRAI is basically a week long bike race across Iowa in the middle of Summer. As you can imagine, most of the training for this event isn't cycling, but practicing eating TONS of meat on a stick and drinking all night. There were some fun people in town for that too.

Here is the po po, who just happens to be a friend of D.'s. And there is the owner of the Dublin dorking-out behind them.

My party was a lot of fun. I drank a little, talked some, but mostly dorked-out like a fiend. My favorite bartender played the two songs he likes to call my theme songs. First he plays "Oh Tara" and then he plays "Good Girls Don't" both by The Knack. Everyone else made sure to play fun dance songs too...Just to give me plenty of music to dork-out to. I appreciated all of it.

A Celebration to Last Throughout the Years

Here are more of my daisies.

Thanks everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes. They definitely did the trick, since my birthday was great.

I slept in, and then I went for my eight mile run. The weather was close to perfect too. I got Stinky to the DOT and she got her permit. She only missed three of the questions. She took her first bad driver's license picture too. I'm sure it didn't help that some boy from her high school was there telling her how horrible it looked. It wasn't that bad, but you know how those things normally look.

When Coadster got home, we packed up all her shit and went to the studio for her first round of senior pictures. She was really happy with how they turned out. He took some less traditional photos, and then he took some regular ones. I had to stifle a laugh when he had her lean her head in her hands. That's the one we mock the most when we're out at the bar taking senior pictures in our thirties and forties.

The photos took longer than we thought, so we had to see the 9:30 showing of Harry Potter. It was very good, just also very long. It didn't get over until after midnight.

Now, I'm exhausted and must to bed and close the books on another wonderful celebration of me...Well, that is until tomorrow, when a bunch of my friends will meet at the Dublin and I can celebrate myself all over again with a different group of people.

I'm Worth a Million in Prizes

Here is the painting Stinky made me for my birthday. She wanted to paint me flowers because she knows how much I love them, but the first photo she looked at was of fireworks. So, she painted a flower that looked like fireworks. Perfect

In 15 minutes I will officially be fortymuthafuckinfour years old. Shit, yo! That seems really really old when you look at it on paper. Luckily for me, it doesn't feel that old in the real world...Or whatever world it is that I live in.

I know people who get sad on their birthdays. I'm not one of those. I tend to celebrate it as long as I can. As far as I'm concerned, finishing every year is a HUGE fucking accomplishment. And beginning every year offers the prospect of another wonderfully ridiculous adventure.

I think if someone had told my 22 year old self that in that many more years, I'd be a single mom with two teenage daughters without being anywhere close to having a boyfriend, I'd feel sad about that.

On the other hand... If someone had told my 22 year old self that in that many more years, I'd still be running and bike riding and finally like myself and be comfortable in my body and my own skin, I'd be happy as hell. I'd have no idea what that would feel like, but I'd know I'd want to get to that place.

So, here I sit, careening dangerously close to 44. I'm in kick-ass shape, I know what to do to make myself happy, and I actually do those things. I have a job that's just fine, has great benefits, and gives me tons of freedom. I have two amazing daughters who actually respect me and think I'm almost as funny as I do. I am set and ready for action to deal with the wonderfully ridiculous year that awaits me. I am one, lucky, lucky fortymuthafuckinfour year old girl.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child

Here are some disembodied heads.

So, tomorrow is my last day to work this week. Then it is four, fabulous fun-filled days of birthday celebration for me. I know. It's not nearly enough time, but I'll try to make it work.

I have two more days of being the same age my mom as when she died, and then I will finally have moved on from that. Of course, my biggest fear in all of that was that I would die before my daughters turned 18. I know I talk about it all the time, but that's only because the thought terrifies me. Even if someone decent became their guardians, they wouldn't love them and understand them the way I do. You know? But we're getting close to that milestone too.

One thing that that "Motherless Daughters" book I read talked about, was the thing that many of us orphans who have children do. We try to make our youngins as independent at the earliest age possible. The book said to be careful of raising your kids to be orphaned, and it was so weird. I had no idea I was doing it, but I definitely was. I tried to calm down on that when the girls were younger and not make them learn how to balance a checkbook, order their own food in a restaurant and check the oil in the car by the time they were in kindergarten.

Now, I've noticed a different issue - I keep forgetting that I will be around to support Coadster when she turns 18. I didn't have that. I basically became an adult and had to figure everything out for myself. It's probably one of the many reasons I'm still not all that great at remembering to pay bills on time and all that other practical type stuff. For the last few months I've been stressing out about all the things I've forgotten to prepare Coadster for as an adult, as if I won't be around, but hopefully I will. If she has questions, she can just call me. If she's sick, she can whine to me over the phone, and if she finds herself short on cash at the end of the month, I sure as hell hope she has a rich friend, because I rarely have any money left then either. Just kidding. But I will be here for her. I don't know why that fact just occurred to me now. Duh.

I Feel Numb. Burn With a Weak Heart. Guess I Must be Having Fun

Here we are taking a clean "before" pic. We were headed to a metal show where things generally get messy.

So, Saturday was WAY more mellow than Friday. I had been invited to a couple of BBQ's but after I ran and did some stuff with the girls, I fell asleep. I missed both of them and had to do a bit of scurrying to get to the Dublin my 9'ish.


There were plenty of tattooed folk at the show. Apparently, my friend K. takes her tattooed folk very seriously.

We had a drink and were off to see the RAWK! at the Picador. It was a lot of fun...If not very loud. A guy in one of the bands came up to me and told me he couldn't find his camera and wondered if I'd take a few pics of them playing. What a question...I was going to anyway.

Until she sees something funny. Then she's over the severity of it all.

Mr. B. said he was going to be at the show, but I didn't believe him. I was right. He never made it, and I was pretty glad. One less thing.

Here is FMDM playing his geeeeetar.

We got there just in time to see FMDM's band. They have been playing on weekdays a lot, when I can't go, so it was nice to finally catch them again.

Here are some boys making suggestive rock hands.

Here is my friend John blocking out his bandmate's face.

Around midnight, I was pretty beat. It's hard for me to go out two nights in a row, and I usually really feel it on the second night. So, even before the last band finished, I decided to take off.

Here we are in our "after" shot. See why we make a point to take the earlier one?

I made it home before one and went straight to sleep. No muss, no fuss. I love a dramaless night.

Nothin' More to be Said, Write Me a Letter Instead

My friend and her husband in from NYC.

Good lord, but Friday was a quite a lot of messiness. Don't get me wrong, most of it was good, but it was hectic and then there was stupid drama and you all know how I hate any kind of drama.

I got off work, walked home, ran my four mile route, drove to the store, made dinner, and took Stinky to her babysitting gig. She was watching a fairly young baby for the first time, so there was a bunch of stuff for her to learn before she flew solo.

While that was going on, my friend called me and we planned to meet at the Dublin at 9. Around 7, I got a text from my friend John. He was playing a gig in the town where Mr. B. is from and he heard that Mr. B. was going to be there. He jokingly asked me if I wanted him to say hi for him. I texted back, that he should say hi to Mr. B.'s girlfriend for me too. Then I quickly forgot all about it.

My friend G. also had an out of town guest on Friday. She was great as well.

So, after all of the running around, I made it to the Dublin and was having a great time and exchanging witty banter with people I really care about. Then I got a text from Mr. B. It seems a couple of my guy friends were giving him shit for lying to me about having a girlfriend. At first, I just ignored it, because I really don't care one way or the other. He kept texting me, telling me that he and his girlfriend were broken-up while we were together and that she doesn't really acknowledge their break-up and blah and blah and blah. I thought if I texted back, he'd stop, but that just made him call me.

Since I wasn't actively involved in any one conversation at my table, I decided to take the call and just finish all the monkey business once and for all. He kept asking me where I got my information. I finally told him I saw her Facebook page. (which makes this whole conversation sound like junior high, I know that) He said they just got back together a month and a half ago. I highly doubt it. She had photos of them together from before the last time I saw him in March.

Anyway, he was pissed that I would think he was a cheater. I asked him why he didn't respond to the message I sent him, and he said he didn't get it because he didn't know how to work Facebook. Whatever. Then he said he got back together with his girlfriend out of convenience and he shouldn't have and he didn't think they'd be together for much longer. He also started talking about trying to work things out with me. I said, no thanks. I told him his behavior was shady long before I had any idea about his girlfriend and if he really wanted me, he would have made an effort and he didn't. After some more jawing, I agreed to try and be friends again. I told him things wouldn't be weird if I ever ran into him, and we left it at that.

I think it's pretty obvious what happened next. You can thank me for not making you witness the full moon. I still have a little post traumatic stress syndrome from viewing it myself.

So, I'm still holding strong on my stance. I work full-time, I'm trying to keep two teenage daughters in line, while still feeding my running addiction and living in my own little world. I don't have time for bullshit. If that means I never date, then I never date. I figure if someone is interested in me, then he can let me know and ask me out. If he happens to be a liar, cheater or game player, then he doesn't need to bother. I'm busy.

For I Toss and Turn, I Can't Sleep at Night

Here are some red lilies.

Oh, kids. I'm sorry my blog has been such a crapfest this week. I've just had that cold and my brain was on pause for the last few days. I promise I'll be better next week. My birthday is next Thursday, so I'll be taking that day and Friday off and I'll even have more time to write and everything.

Coadster wasn't able to get her senior pictures taken today. She called me from work crying. She had a fever and horrible headache and her glands were swollen and her throat was sore. Sound familiar? Yeah, she finally got what Stinky and I had. Poor thing. I called the studio and rescheduled.

I did get to run today and it felt pretty great. I made myself keep it down to 4 miles, so as to avoid a relapse. I didn't check the iPod first, and it was on Coadster's play list. I figured there would be tons of Iron and Wine, Death Cab for Cutie and Sufjan Stevens on it. I just wasn't ready for some of the older stuff on there. She had "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, "Venus" by Shocking Blue, "Could it Be I'm Falling in Love" by the Spinners, "Don't Worry Baby" by the Beach Boys and lots of Salsa music by Celia Cruz. It turned out to be a really fun playlist to run to.

Soooo, what's on tap for the weekend? Originally, I wanted to just stay home and relax tomorrow night, but I got a call from my friend M. who lives in NYC. Her dad had heart surgery, so she and her husband came to town to be here for him. They want to meet me for a drink, and who am I to say no? They are really wonderful people. He used to work for an independent music label, who put out Nada Surf albums. She is in her late 30's but is still on a kick-ass roller derby team. It's impossible not to have a fun time with them. My friend Eggo also called to see if one of the girls could babysit for her and her husband. Since Coadster is sick, Stinky's going to do it. Eggo's baby is still pretty young, so I plan on being very available if Stinky needs help. I'm sure she'll do just great though.

Some friends of mine are getting married on Saturday, but it's at least an hour away and everyone is camping out, and I can't really do that with my girls. Instead, I'll probably go out with a few friends and maybe see some bands playing later on.

What are all you all's plans? Will you be hanging out with out of town friends, or missing an out of town wedding?

Makes You Think All the World's a Sunny Day, Oh yeah

Here is Coadster at the car show a few weeks ago.

So, kids. I think I'm finally nearing the end of my cold. I can almost breathe out of my nose again. I think I might even try to run tomorrow. I can't wait. I feel like an invalid. All my muscles are mushy from taking a few days off.

I don't have a lot to write tonight. Lucky you. Coadster has her first round of senior pictures tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, they'll probably do the outside shots then. She's got all of her outfits picked out and everything. Now, all I have to do is finally locate my imaginary trust fund in order to pay for it all.

Tonight will also be the first night in a while that I've gone to bed without the aid of cold medicine. I won't miss the horrible grogginess in the morning, but I will miss the bizarre and vivid dreams I've had. Damn it.

Okay, I tried to form sentences, and I failed. Now, I need to try to go to sleep. Let's hope I succeed with that.

I've Had the Blues, the Reds and the Pinks

Here is a metal sculpture done by one of the artists in the Radillac movement and currently on the Radillac farm.

So, a friend of mine found herself suddenly single last Summer after a 13 year relationship. She is discovering that a lot has changed since dating in her twenties and is often feeling extremely frustrated with men. Since I've been single for many, many, many years (for the most part) I've been through about every annoying stage of trying to find a guy I could be happy with in a committed and healthy relationship...Except actually finding that guy, I guess.

Anyway, we spend a lot of time talking about guys we know* and trying to sort out what they say from how they act. Usually, we end these conversations by using our blanket, "Boys are dumb and so are we for trying to date them..."

On Monday night, Stinky had some other girls over and their conversations sounded sadly too familiar. At one point her friend was saying, "It's so dumb. He doesn't even like her. He even said the only reason he hangs out with her is because she's hot and easy."

"Gross," said Stinky. "I hate guys."

"Word. All guys are stupid," Stinky's other friend said. "We should just go T.P the houses of all the guys we hate!"

At first I laughed in my head, because apparently nothing ever changes. Then I stopped and thought, "Heeeeeeyyyy. These girls have an excellent point." Wouldn't we all feel so much better if we just went over and egged and TP'ed all the boys who have annoyed us and lied to us in the past year? I think it would be the best way to get over all the bullshit. I am absolutely sure we'd feel instantly better.

I did a little emailing with some of my girlfriends about how funny that prospect would be. We kicked around which guys might deserve this special treatment and mentioned Mr. B.. Granted, it would be an hour drive but might prove worth it. My girlcrush answered back that she would be all for it, but then very wisely noted:

p.s. when you're no longer 15, tequila is required for a project of this magnitude

I think the middle of Summer is the perfect time for a tequila induced road trip. Don't you?

* Please remember. I'm not talking about all guys - just the ones we know.

Hello, Yeah, It's Been a While

Here I am with my favorite bartender S. in black and white. Black and white keeps us from looking too...Everything. Don't you think?

Oh, kids. I thought I was so damn clever. If I could only just ignore my cold, then maybe it would go away. It was like when I was being silly in school and my teachers asked the other kids not to pay attention and encourage me. I thought it would work like that with my cold too, and I was wrong. Dead wrong. Well, not quite dead, but it felt like I might be better off that way a few times.

I felt a little better on Thursday, so I ran my four mile route and went out for a couple of hours for exactly two beers. Bad idea. Every part of it.

An Irish Wolfhound named Dashell at the Dewey Street block party. He and I were pair on the 4th of July.

I woke up on Friday all out of sorts, but still willing to plug away. I was up at 8 and had some time with Stinky, before she went to Wisconsin with her friend's family. And when I say time, I mean, she basically draped herself over me while we were lying on my bed and she prattled on about stuff. Half of it I caught. The other half probably didn't matter all that much. I think it was about her friends not liking some of her other friends and one girl who always hit on every guy Stinky had a crush on... Or something thereabouts.

I ran my 6 mile route and it felt okay. After I got home, I was still a little out of it. Coadster wanted a girl date with me after Stinky left. She had just received her first full paycheck and needed a dress to wear to a wedding. We wandered around downtown and found just what she wanted. Then went to The Atlas for extravagant salads.

By Friday night, Coadster had left for the Quad Cities and I was so beat and sick that all I could do was lie around and play video games.

Here is a band that played at one of my Fourth of July celebrations.

By Saturday morning, there was no more ignoring my cold. It was stubborn and it wasn't going anywhere. I could barely hear and I think I was a bit feverish. That was just fine, because it was raining outside, so all the signs were pointing to me staying home and finally resting up. I didn't run. Instead I cleaned and putzed all day. I'd work on a room and then lie down, then go back to work on that room, then get on the computer for a sec and move onto the next room for most of the day.

Here is the muddy, muddy end of Dane road where we went to our other 4th of July party.

By 5 o'clock or so, things were clearing up outside, and I figured I might try to actually venture outside and end my quarantine.

I made it to the Dewey Street block party by 6'ish and basically just did a sweep through the place. I saw a bunch of freaks I used to work with at the Mill in the 80's and some other freaks I go to metal shows with now. Then I moved on to the next thing.

The next thing was the 20th anniversary of the Rock and Roll or Radillac farm's anniversary party. The weather put a damper on it, so the crowd was pretty sparse. Which was just fine with me. I went with my friends G. and D. and we did another cameo appearance.

We finally made it downtown to watch the fireworks and stop at the Dublin. There were tons of people out for Jazz Fest and fireworks. By the end of the night, I had caught my first wind and my friend G. and I did our best to distract pool players from making shots. At least we thought we were funny.

Since I wasn't listening to my cold, my body struck back by giving me a migraine while I was sleeping on saturday night, when I couldn't take anything to tame it in time. Stupid, mean body. I was sufficiently laid-out by the pain for most of the day. Luckily, I had my good migraine meds and they put up a fight and finally won it over by around 10 or 11 last night.

Okay, lesson learned. Uncle, uncle. I give. I will listen to my body from now on, and when I start to get sick, I will refrain from running and socializing for at least a couple of days. Even when that illness falls on a holiday when both my girls are out of town and I have the time and freedom to whoop it up. Amen.

Holiday, Celebrate

Here are some fireworks over the Old Capitol building.

I was going to try and blog tonight, but I still have my cold and a horrible migraine on top of it. So, I'll have to wait until tomorrow to try to write a decent post...Or at least one that might make sense. I hope you all had a great holiday weekend and that the fireworks weren't also in your head.

All We Are Saying, is Give Sleep a Chance.

Here is the fire station in Riverside, Iowa.

So, here's the dealio. It seems as though I caught an annoying Summer cold from the lovely Stinky. She has had a sore throat and swollen glands for a few days now. I am feeling really weak and tired and I think I have a mild fever and runny nose. Because of all that, this may very well be my lamest blog post ever...And as we all know, that's really saying something.

I was going to try to go to bed early, but Stinky ended up babysitting for someone who is staying out very late on a weeknight. Stinky doesn't have to get up early or anything, but I have a really hard time sleeping when one of the girls isn't home. I'm going to give it a good college try though and see if I can actually fall asleep when Stinky isn't home. I'll let you know how it goes...

I'll Have a Cup of Tea and Tell You of My Dreaming

Here is a picture that Coadster took of the silhouette of our house and a storm a-brewin' last Sunday. I think it's pretty kick-ass.

Soooo, only two more days left of the week. Then we'll have our 4th of July weekend and Jazz Fest here in Iowa City. Is it just Iowa, or is there a different Fest every weekend in the Summer?

The weather took a turn on Sunday, and it's been amazing ever since. Perfect for running. I've finally been getting into shape the last few weeks. I'm very close to being able to kick all of your asses. Of course, I never would...I just like knowing I could.

After the busy, craziness of this weekend, I've slowed everything down and become really boring. Last night I had a dream that I was sitting in the rain somewhere that looked suspiciously like Golden Gate Park. I was watching a guy photograph a wedding party and I worried that he was going to ruin his camera in the storm. That was the whole dream. See what I mean? Even my dreams are mundane this week, and that's just the way I want it.