Here are some disembodied heads.
So, tomorrow is my last day to work this week. Then it is four, fabulous fun-filled days of birthday celebration for me. I know. It's not nearly enough time, but I'll try to make it work.
I have two more days of being the same age my mom as when she died, and then I will finally have moved on from that. Of course, my biggest fear in all of that was that I would die before my daughters turned 18. I know I talk about it all the time, but that's only because the thought terrifies me. Even if someone decent became their guardians, they wouldn't love them and understand them the way I do. You know? But we're getting close to that milestone too.
One thing that that "Motherless Daughters" book I read talked about, was the thing that many of us orphans who have children do. We try to make our youngins as independent at the earliest age possible. The book said to be careful of raising your kids to be orphaned, and it was so weird. I had no idea I was doing it, but I definitely was. I tried to calm down on that when the girls were younger and not make them learn how to balance a checkbook, order their own food in a restaurant and check the oil in the car by the time they were in kindergarten.
Now, I've noticed a different issue - I keep forgetting that I will be around to support Coadster when she turns 18. I didn't have that. I basically became an adult and had to figure everything out for myself. It's probably one of the many reasons I'm still not all that great at remembering to pay bills on time and all that other practical type stuff. For the last few months I've been stressing out about all the things I've forgotten to prepare Coadster for as an adult, as if I won't be around, but hopefully I will. If she has questions, she can just call me. If she's sick, she can whine to me over the phone, and if she finds herself short on cash at the end of the month, I sure as hell hope she has a rich friend, because I rarely have any money left then either. Just kidding. But I will be here for her. I don't know why that fact just occurred to me now. Duh.