You Float Like a Feather in a Beautiful World

The only smiley one.

Okay. This will be a quick and dirty post...just not all that dirty. Sorry.

I'm a fan of the black and whites.

So, I took Stinky to get her senior pictures taken yesterday afternoon, and we're both pretty happy with the ones we've seen. We went to a friend of a friend's studio and it was soooo much better than the guy we went to for Coadster's. This guy was cool, he worked out of a house and put on an old Radiohead CD during the studio session.

The color ones turned out well too.

Stinky wanted some outdoor shots down by the river, because I had taken some of her and her sister when they were little and there was one sculpture in particular that she wanted to be photographed in. Of course, Iowa in November made for some beautiful, if not very cold shooting locations.

We had to get at least one showing even a little bit of her attitude.

The photographer put a few of them up on his FB site. Most of them, I put on here for you all. next Thursday, Stinky and I will go through the hundreds of photos and pick out a few of our favorites to make into 8 x 10's and wallets. From the looks of things, it could be pretty tough to do that.
This is one of my favorites so far.

In other news...My friend G. is doing much better. She's actually eating and starting to get her short term memory back. She finally went to her own home. She is going to stay at our house from Sunday evening through Monday evening, because there is some construction work scheduled for her house. I can't wait to see her now that she is mostly conscious.

Stealing Down a Wrong Way Street

My friend Bry asked me to send him a pic of all of us in a topless pillow fight, except The Guy. he wanted The Guy to wear a parka. so, we took a pic of the opposite of what he wanted.

So, the dinner party was lovely and fun. I made my veggie enchiladas and refried beans and we had chips and de gallo and guac and sour cream and bean dip... And the tequila tasting.

The Guy helping his ex with the tequila tasting.

We decided 3 - 1 that we liked Don Julio over Patron. Who knew?

Me making my decision.

Tonight I am going running with E. after work, then going to hear Paul Harding (last year's Pulitzer Prize winner) read with my friend K. The Guy is going to his mom's house and Stinky is going to a concert in Cedar Falls. It's weird when we're all out of the house for an evening.

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out.

So, we went to The Guy's bike race last night and it was fun. It was in a town that was predominantly Amish or Mennonite, so there were many horse and buggies to contend with.

Here is The Guy getting ready to race.

We brought my bike with, so I rode around the country roads and took pics while I waited for the racers to come back into sight.

In the end, The Guy had a mechanical malfunction, so he wasn't able to finish the race. It was too bad, but we were still able to drive off into the sunset for Mexican food and margaritas after all was said and done.

I got Echoes In My Head

We got Coadster's senior pictures back this evening. This is my favorite one.

So, I took off work today, because I had some business to tend to. Turns out, the business was all tended to by 10:30. That left me with almost a whole day to myself while the girls were in school. What to do? There are so many amazing and/or productive ways to spend a day. I could have spent it with my music cranked and getting my kitchen all back together and organized, or I could have done some preparational paperwork in order to get ready for my taxes, or I could have given myself an indulgent day, to relax and take care of myself physically and emotionally. I chose the third option. I have been feeling a little isolated and out of sorts lately and I've been catching that hitch in my voice that means I might could be overreacting to things the last few weeks. So, before I end up writing this blog from my padded cell, I decided to slow my roll.

The first thing I did was take an hour and a half long nap, then I got ready and ran for well over an hour. I haven't done that in forever, and I can't tell you how necessary that is for me. I'm sure it's the combination of endorphins, constant repetitive movement and time spent without having to interact or answer a question, but just getting to run outside for that long fixes me in every way possible...And I was definitely starting to feel a little broken lately.

Anyway, after the run I took a crazy long, hot bath and emerged ready to be a better parent and person. The gift that was today, couldn't have come at a better time.

The traditional cheesy pose. She looks so pretty here, but this is the exact pose my friends and I make fun of when we do fake senior photos in bars.

After my self-indulgent day, I was ready to get back to business. My "me" time turned into "their" time. I took Stinky to a few places, so she could hand in her applications in hopes of attaining employment. Then we picked Coadster up at the before and after school program where she works and then went to the place where Coadster had her senior pictures taken so we could pick-up the final product.

I was so much more patient than I would have been when I helped Stinky make us her signature meal. She calls it Italian stir-fry, but what it is is chicken and veggies sauteed in garlic, butter, white wine, and basil and served over chicken flavored wild rice. It's actually pretty good, but it does take a while to cut it all up.

This is Coadster's favorite one. I like it too. I just think the other one shows her personality better.

Hey, I guess it's the weekend already...And the best part of that, is that I get three days off. Hurray! I've spent the last couple of weeks safely at home, which has been really good for many reasons, but there's always that problem of me not socially interacting with adults I have anything in common with, if all I ever do is go to work and then home. So, my bet is that I'll probably try to go out, at least for a little bit.

I have a couple of friends with a Friday birthday. One of them is having a party. I doubt I'll stay very long, but I'll at least try to do a drive-by and do some well-wishing. My friends should be returning from Belize on Saturday. Before they left, they said they thought they'd for sure want to go out that night to catch me up on all their whacky hijinx, but we'll see how they feel when they actually get home and there's all that jet lag to deal with and laundry to do.

How about you guys? Will you be dehibernating yourselves this weekend too?

She Sees My Good Deeds, and She Kisses Me Windy

Here is a view from under a bridge. They've been working on a lot of the bridges around town that were exposed to the flood last Summer.

Today I flew without a net. That's right. I didn't write a list. What that meant was that I ran my 7 mile route, rode my bike for an hour, took photos around town, scheduled my massage for tomorrow, finished the book I started yesterday, but didn't do any real cleaning. I'm sure I'll feel like cleaning and organizing crap tomorrow...Ahem.

Here are railroad tracks as seen through some bars.

Stinky called to let me know that she got a shiner at basketball camp. She said she's fine, but that it does hurt a little. She sounds like she's having a great time though. Maybe I should make her play four basketball games a day to mellow her out at home too.

A Celebration to Last Throughout the Years

Here are more of my daisies.

Thanks everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes. They definitely did the trick, since my birthday was great.

I slept in, and then I went for my eight mile run. The weather was close to perfect too. I got Stinky to the DOT and she got her permit. She only missed three of the questions. She took her first bad driver's license picture too. I'm sure it didn't help that some boy from her high school was there telling her how horrible it looked. It wasn't that bad, but you know how those things normally look.

When Coadster got home, we packed up all her shit and went to the studio for her first round of senior pictures. She was really happy with how they turned out. He took some less traditional photos, and then he took some regular ones. I had to stifle a laugh when he had her lean her head in her hands. That's the one we mock the most when we're out at the bar taking senior pictures in our thirties and forties.

The photos took longer than we thought, so we had to see the 9:30 showing of Harry Potter. It was very good, just also very long. It didn't get over until after midnight.

Now, I'm exhausted and must to bed and close the books on another wonderful celebration of me...Well, that is until tomorrow, when a bunch of my friends will meet at the Dublin and I can celebrate myself all over again with a different group of people.

Makes You Think All the World's a Sunny Day, Oh yeah

Here is Coadster at the car show a few weeks ago.

So, kids. I think I'm finally nearing the end of my cold. I can almost breathe out of my nose again. I think I might even try to run tomorrow. I can't wait. I feel like an invalid. All my muscles are mushy from taking a few days off.

I don't have a lot to write tonight. Lucky you. Coadster has her first round of senior pictures tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, they'll probably do the outside shots then. She's got all of her outfits picked out and everything. Now, all I have to do is finally locate my imaginary trust fund in order to pay for it all.

Tonight will also be the first night in a while that I've gone to bed without the aid of cold medicine. I won't miss the horrible grogginess in the morning, but I will miss the bizarre and vivid dreams I've had. Damn it.

Okay, I tried to form sentences, and I failed. Now, I need to try to go to sleep. Let's hope I succeed with that.

I See You Walkin' Real Slow and You're Smilin' At Everyone

Here is that sign again, but this time they cleaned up the language. It said "asinine" last week, but this week it's "inane". I'll check again next week to see if it changes again. Luckily, we live in a community of writers, so the sign makers are bound to have a good thesaurus.

Today was my first day off, and it was delightful. I tried to do all kinds of wonderfully Summery things, and I think I was successful. The one thing I didn't do very well, was reading blogs. I'm going to try harder tomorrow. If the weather is as bad as they're predicting, I should have plenty of time.

Here is a drinking fountain at College Green Park. It was kind of tricky to shoot this with one hand.

I slept in and that was heavenly. I'm glad I'm not one of those people who can't sleep late any more. It's one of my favorite decadent things to do. When I finally hauled my ass out of bed, I lounged around and made some cinnamon toast and lounged some more. Later I had to run some errands and take Stinky to basketball practice.

All the storms had passed, and I was able to run in the very hot, horrible humidity. I came back and bathed and picked Stinky up from basketball camp. Originally, she wanted to go see the Star Trek movie, but while we were getting ready, she got a call from a friend who wanted her to go to the pool, so I was quickly abandoned. As you can see, I used my alone time to wander around town and take some pics of things I think are typical of Summer.

When Coadster got home from work, and Stinky got back from the pool, they asked me to drive them to the mall. What is it with that place? It's like a giant teenager magnet. I started getting hungry and cranky, so we went home and I grilled cheeseburgers, and I made corn on the cob - because we're Iowans and it's a law that we have to eat that kind of food.

Around 10, I decided to watch the movie Into the Wild. I thought it was a little long, but I did like it a lot. Some parts of it hit close to home. That whole "wandering vagabond in his early twenties" and the arrogance of throwing caution to the wind, was like looking in a mirror. Except, I didn't grow up rich, so I had a lot more respect for the little money I did have.

It's been a while since I've seen a pair of shoes stuck up in a wire.

Tomorrow I plan on getting some practical things done. Right now they're saying it's supposed to rain all day, so it would make it easier not to want to spend all day playing in the sun. I'll let you know what happens.

On Saturday I think I'll be going to the Quad City Air Show. There's a guy in town who is a Dublin semi-regular who owns a rental business, and he bought a bunch of tickets. He gave them away free to all of his friends and is supplying food and drink to all of us. How nice is that?

Coadster can't go because she already volunteered to work the 1989 class reunion at her high school. So, I'm going with Stinky and some of my fun girlfriends. Hopefully. I was supposed to get the tickets in the mail this week and they still aren't here. If they don't come tomorrow, I'll have to think up a plan B.

What are your plans this weekend? Will you be reuniting and it feels so good, or will you be looking to the skies?

Cause I Couldn't Bear to See What I Might See

So, I know I talk about Facebook way too much, but it's such a weird thing for me. As I've said before, I moved around so much when I was younger, and I suck at emailing and calling people, so I never got to see what happened to most of the people I knew when I was younger....Until now.

I think I've also told you before that after Coadster and I were in that horse and buggy accident when she was a baby, I've had some memory loss. It's hard to know if the things I've forgotten, especially from high school and directly after, are from the accident, or a lot of me blocking out some really bad times in my life. Either way, Facebook has been bringing it back to me a little. And it's been interesting.

Last week, my friend Jim sent me a message through Facebook asking for my address so he could send me something he found. I gave it to him and yesterday when I got home from work, there was an envelope with that Deadwood photo booth strip (circa 1984/85) posted above inside it.

I don't remember taking those pics at all. He said he found it in a box of old photos at his parents house. I vaguely remember the other girl. She was a year younger than me and we hung out together almost every day for about a month before she moved to Madison and I never saw her again. I have no idea who the Tony Orlando looking guy is and nobody on Facebook has been able to help me with that either. Nice 70's stache, though.

Also last week, a girl I went to high school with got on Facebook. I liked her a lot and we both went to college here together too. She wrote this on my wall:

Churlita, I'm thinking about h.s. alot tonight, missing h.s. friends, and remembering the Anne Boelyn(spelling?) report we did for Cor-key Ste-vens. How did we ever get away with that!

I responded:

Wow, A. You are waxing nostalgic. Ha ha. I'm not sure I remember the report, but if I know myself, I bet I probably felt the need to talk about her third breast or something equally mature.

And then she commented back:

Churlita, how could you forget, we made her out of playdough and shot her head across the room.

After she wrote that, it did sound a little familiar, but it makes me wonder what other incredibly awesome things like that I did (because that is incredibly awesome) in high school and don't remember. It was actually nice to have a fun memory from high school, since most of mine are so horrible. Because I normally have such great recall, it bugs me when I forget something, but I guess I should have thought about that before I smoked all that pot and drank all that beer in my late teens and early twenties, huh?

Come On, Come On, Let's Go and Again and Again and Again

Here is some gorgeous Iowa prairie. Maybe you have to live here to appreciate its subtle beauty, but I'm a huge prairie lover. If you ever want me to help you with a prairie burn, let me know. I've had tons of experience with them.

Well, kids. This weekend was really nice, for the most part. I ran my eight mile route for the first time of the season and the heat and the extra couple of miles definitely kicked my ass. Because I am obviously very, very ill, it also made me want to do it again once or twice next weekend, to see if I can kick its ass instead.

Here is some kind of wild flower remnant leftover from last year.

Saturday night I told my friends' G. and D. that I would meet them out and I tried, I really did. I got ready, I walked downtown and had a beer and heard fun stories from the night before (after I had already gone home). I was feeling like I was getting a migraine, and I was kind of annoyed with the world in general anyway. Then G. and D. went out to smoke and I was left with some great kids who were in their twenties and so not understanding any of my cheesy pop culture references, when I realized I just needed to go home. So, I said my goodbyes and took-off.

I decided to watch a movie. I figured I probably just needed to be entertained. I hadn't really heard much about it, so I tried viewing Henry Poole is Here. Um, it just wasn't my thing. It was all about having faith and about how you just needed faith. NO. MATTER. WHAT. FAITH! Over and over again. I felt like I was being bludgeoned with it. Don't get me wrong. I'm all about faith, but it would also be kind of neat-o to have that faith served up with a little plot too. It reminded me of the overkill at the end of La Bamba where they showed you every person in the world's reaction to Ritchie Valens dying in that plane crash. His mom, his brother, Donna, his second grade teacher, his dentist, the pack of stray dogs that roamed his neighborhood. I get it. I'm supposed to be sad... So, wait. What was I going on about? Oh, Henry Poole. I didn't even finish it, because I was completely faithed out.

Sunday was such a gorgeous day here. I couldn't stay inside or I turned into one of those cats that sit on back of the couch and swat their paw at the window. So, I ran my six mile route and went on a long bike ride.

I didn't take one of those kick-ass "ride as fast and as far as you can" kind of rides. I did blaze up a couple of hills, but for the most part, I wanted to meander and look at and take photos of stuff. It was so nice. As you've probably noticed, I rode by some prairie. Then I passed this sign, and figured I should really check out something called a "Visionary Stone".

In case you were curious too, this was what the "Visionary Stone" looked like. It was a big rock on a hill with a bench next to it. A little anti-climactic, but then again, nice and restful with a beautiful view.

I couldn't get a decent shot of the view for some reason. I think the sun was hitting it wrong, or maybe I just suck. Anyway, this photo doesn't do it justice.

After my run and ride, I was suddenly very hungry. The girls and I decided to eat dessert first and went to Dairy Queen before we went grocery shopping. Bad idea. I forgot what sugar does to Stinky. It makes her insane and overly silly. At one point she was being so obnoxious that Coadster and I ran down the aisle with the cart to get away from her. Lesson learned.

Over Futile Odds and Laughed At By the Gods

I took a bunch of photos on my way to work this morning. It had just rained so everything was still dripping.

Tonight I think I'm gonna write a poem. Don't worry, I may never write another. As I've said before, I don't really understand poetry, (which I'm sure I won't have to tell you after you read this) but I was walking home from work and sick the other day and overwhelmed by Spring and it just came to me. It's all very tongue-in-cheek. The idea cracked me up and so you all have to be exposed to it too...Or not. Ready? No? Yeah, I'm not really sure I am either. I think I'm going to call it:

Iowa Seasons Can Just Blow Me

Damn it!
You've suddenly come a-courtin' again
Looking all sweet and calling out to me
Everywhere

Wasn't it just a couple of months ago
When you were so cold and unfeeling?
Slapping me in the face with your ice pellets and frozen winds?
No matter how much I complained
(And you know I did) You were
unrelenting

But now you're overwhelming me with flowers
I can feel the difference in your touch on my skin
And your smell
Your smell drives me crazy
All dirty and warm and loamy
Distracting me and making me
Feel like maybe I can start turning my porch light on again.
(Although my friends like to remind me that there is a huge difference
Between turning my porch light on and getting drunk and
Accidentally leaving my back door
Unlocked)*


At first you make me hopeful
I'm reminded of how sweet you can be
And I start shedding layers
Exposing myself

But then I start to feel it
Something happens to piss you off
And you're suddenly on a tear
You thunder, you rage and you throw things around
You are a destroyer

Then when you calm down
You make up for it
You didn't mean it, you just care about me so much
It makes you do things you're not always proud of
You will try harder
You say and you show me your blindingly white smile
I do know better
We've done all of this many times before
I'm sure it's just a matter of time until you stifle me with your
Hot fetid breath constantly on my neck
And later, when you suddenly turn cold again

Yet I stay every year
Waiting for that first show of sweetness and
Warmth

*I got the "porch light and backdoor" imagery from my friend Sara, who got it from another friend of hers. So, I'm not sure who gets the attribution, I just know it isn't me.

Everybody Needs a Place to Rest

Here is a photo that Coadster took of the a drive-by we did on an Iowa highway. Man, it all goes by so fast.

This week started with a big yawn. Not a bored yawn, but a sleepy one. I'm basically at the same place I was last week, but a little better. I'm going to try to chip away at cleaning and sleep as much as possible and then cut myself slack on whatever doesn't get done this week again.

The good thing is that I shouldn't be quite so busy during the week, this time and I'm taking a half day of vacation on Friday.

Coadster took this photo of a barn with corn and a quilt painted on it while I was driving on Saturday. It is located between Kalona and Warshington (that's Washington to non-Iowans. Who knows why they add an R to the word wash here).

I'd like to try not to do the thing I usually do, which is fill up that extra four hours with about 120 hours worth of stuff, but I may anyway.

For sure I want to run and then I have to call my doctor's office to get shit straightened out. I got a letter from my insurance company saying they will only cover generic migraine meds. I've never tried the kind they are offering. If they work, awesome. I'll be fine with that. If they don't, I need to start calling around and see who has the most influence with the insurance company, so I can park myself in their front yard, douse myself with gasoline and threaten to set myself on fire until they relent and let me go back to my old meds. God, I hope they dont' call my bluff on that one.

Then I should have a couple of hours or so before the girls get home from track and/or soccer practice. I would really love to drive around the town of Kalona and take more photos of barns with quilts painted on them, tractors working the fields, feedlots and maybe even steal the souls of cute little Amish kids. I know I keep threatening to do this and something always comes up, but one of these days I'll actually make it happen.

Anway, in the interest on working on getting more sleep this week, I'll end this here. You're welcome.

It's a Hard Life to Live, But it Give's Back What You Give

I'm posting photos of signs tonight. Here is my girl crush and her hubby, personifying the sign behind them.

So, the rest of this past weekend, I gave myself another "Get out of Jail Free" card. I had a long, stressful week, and a crazy night on Friday, and I was in dire need of some rest. Sure, I did the usual running of teens hither and thither, but other than that, I rested. I took naps and finally watched 3:10 to Yuma. I really liked it.

My girls went to the neighbor's for their movie watching extravaganza until 11:30. I received texts from a couple of people asking me to meet them out, but I was really happy on my couch. So, I sat and tried to recuperate.

It must have been too little too late, because I woke up on Sunday with a migraine. I wasn't surprised I got one, with all the stress. I was just happy it waited until I didn't have a ton of stuff to do.

Here is a homeless guy. Don't worry, I gave him money for taking his picture.

Which leaves us to this week. I'm back to cleaning for an hour a night, since I was negligent with it this weekend. If I actually spend that hour a day, it works pretty well at catching me up. The big constraint, as usual, is time. Tomorrow is the girls' first track meet, and I think there are a few other things going on throughout the week. Plus, this is the first week in a while that I haven't given myself even a little vacation time. I guess, I'll get off a half hour early tomorrow to get a cavity filled, but that so doesn't count.

I'm just going to try really hard to remember to go slow and steady and not to stress. That shouldn't be too hard, should it?

Lookin' in the Sun For Another Overload

Here is the top of a door at McBride Hall.

So, I don't have a lot to blog about. This weekend, I decided I'd try to be healthier in general in a lot of different ways. I wanted to slow things down, and relax and try to get more sleep. I also thought I'd try to be more physically healthy, by eating better and getting more exercise. So, what this means is that I am boring as hell right now.

Like last night, the girls were in and out of my house briefly, and so I spent most of the night listening to music by myself and making potato leek soup and hummus. Bo-Riiiiing! (well, too read about, but wonderfully relaxing to do) Then today I brought my camera to work and was all ready, but never saw the unicyclist. Damn.

The most exciting thing I've done in a couple of days took place this evening when I walked to the Co-op to buy some really good bread to go with the soup and hummus, and took a detour through this alley to see what was behind some of the downtown buildings. No, I didn't uncover a hidden city of gnomes or anything, but I've lived in this town on and off for 25 years and never explored this area before.

I decided to look up during my tour and this is what I saw. A broken window.

These duct looking things. I think you know how much I like to take pictures of weird industrial looking shit. This little section of alley was like a back lot, exposing all the tubes and wires of the quaint downtown facades. It was so cool.

Don't you think this frantic mess of wires has to be violating about a million different city codes?

So, that ends my dorky back alley tour of Iowa City. Come back tomorrow, when I photograph underneath railroad bridges...Just kidding. I don't think I want to make a huge effort to go trolling for hobos right now, since my goal was to try and be more healthy.

It's a Small Crime and I Got No Excuse

So, on Friday morning I saw this guy kind of dressed-up, carrying a bag and riding a unicycle on my way to work. Then on Friday afternoon, I was walking home and saw another guy with full-on clown make-up but dressed normally and with no crazy rainbow fro wig. I always thought there was nothing creepier than a clown, but now I know there is. It's a half-dressed clown. Shudder, shudder. The other thing I thought, was that if I'm going to live in a town full of freaks, I really need to bring my camera with me to work more often to document them.

This morning I actually remembered. The only problem is, that I'm way too stoopid when I first wake-up. So, I see the unicycle guy coming toward me and I take my camera out of my pocket. I realize it's on the viewing tab, so I try to set it on just the regular picture taking tab, but go too far and hit the video thing. By the time I get it to the right place, the unicyclist has turned down the street and is almost in an alley. Here is the photo I got. If you enlarge it, I think you can see him. I'll try harder next time.

For the sake of randomness, I'd like to thank Nate for giving me the info about how to download my songs from my iPod to my iTunes. The only problem, was that I had no idea which songs I had added since October, so I just loaded all of them and now I have to go back and delete all the extras. I've been working my way down the alphabet a little at a time. I'm on the D's, and just cleaned-up the Damien Rice songs.

Since I'm thanking people, I might as well thank FMDM for turning me on to the Puzzle Quest game (I think that's the name) on XBox. It is sooooo addictive. You can do all these puzzles, and save them if you don't have time to finish them. When I was a kid, I loved puzzles and put together all those hideous puppy photos - you know, the ones with the gigantic eyes? Yeah, and what's even more embarrassing, is that I used to glue them onto poster board and hang them on my wall when I finished. Wow. Can you believe I actually admitted to that? Anyway, the puzzle thing is super cool and addictive, without the embarrassment of my previous '70's behavior.

Okay. I guess I'll call that good. I'm trying really hard (again) to sleep better this week. I guess that means I have to try to get to bed before midnight then.

Everything Looks Worse in Black and White

So, I was just asked to pick the next Saturday Scavenger Hunt word. I think I'll choose, outside. Have we had that one yet? If so, let me know, and I'll try again.

I went to The Hilltop for supper club and it was really nice. With the holidays and everything, I haven't made it for a while now. I had a big plate of cheese fries and a pint of beer for $4.50. You really can't beat that with a stick, can you?

I'm going to try really hard to get as close to seven hours of sleep as I can tonight, so I'll make this quick.

You know how annoying I always am with my camera? Yeah. Well, I do feel sorry for my girls now and again. Stinky doesn't usually mind, but Coadster has never had much tolerance for it. Here's a little photo post showing her creative avoidance. The first shot was from Christmas Eve when she was all full of the holiday spirit and trying to humor me.

Here she's allowing it, but obviously completely over the whole experience. Maybe I wouldn't want to photograph her so badly, if she weren't so expressive. I blame her.

The rest of these were from one of Stinky's basketball games. The first one, she just puts her hood up and turns around. Nice and simple.

Here she's using gloves as a prop.

For this pic, Coadster is utilizing her fleece quite nicely, I think.

And finally, she resorts to the duck and cover. This is equally successful for both warding off your mom's aggressive picture taking and protecting yourself from a nuclear attack.

She really has become the master of photography avoidance. I'm sure she'll thank me once she's famous and being hounded by the paparazzi.