Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Cause I Couldn't Bear to See What I Might See

So, I know I talk about Facebook way too much, but it's such a weird thing for me. As I've said before, I moved around so much when I was younger, and I suck at emailing and calling people, so I never got to see what happened to most of the people I knew when I was younger....Until now.

I think I've also told you before that after Coadster and I were in that horse and buggy accident when she was a baby, I've had some memory loss. It's hard to know if the things I've forgotten, especially from high school and directly after, are from the accident, or a lot of me blocking out some really bad times in my life. Either way, Facebook has been bringing it back to me a little. And it's been interesting.

Last week, my friend Jim sent me a message through Facebook asking for my address so he could send me something he found. I gave it to him and yesterday when I got home from work, there was an envelope with that Deadwood photo booth strip (circa 1984/85) posted above inside it.

I don't remember taking those pics at all. He said he found it in a box of old photos at his parents house. I vaguely remember the other girl. She was a year younger than me and we hung out together almost every day for about a month before she moved to Madison and I never saw her again. I have no idea who the Tony Orlando looking guy is and nobody on Facebook has been able to help me with that either. Nice 70's stache, though.

Also last week, a girl I went to high school with got on Facebook. I liked her a lot and we both went to college here together too. She wrote this on my wall:

Churlita, I'm thinking about h.s. alot tonight, missing h.s. friends, and remembering the Anne Boelyn(spelling?) report we did for Cor-key Ste-vens. How did we ever get away with that!

I responded:

Wow, A. You are waxing nostalgic. Ha ha. I'm not sure I remember the report, but if I know myself, I bet I probably felt the need to talk about her third breast or something equally mature.

And then she commented back:

Churlita, how could you forget, we made her out of playdough and shot her head across the room.

After she wrote that, it did sound a little familiar, but it makes me wonder what other incredibly awesome things like that I did (because that is incredibly awesome) in high school and don't remember. It was actually nice to have a fun memory from high school, since most of mine are so horrible. Because I normally have such great recall, it bugs me when I forget something, but I guess I should have thought about that before I smoked all that pot and drank all that beer in my late teens and early twenties, huh?


Remiman said...

While rembering alot, I've probably forgotten much more. Friends remind me of things we did and I'm thinking; do you have the right guy here?
I did get shot in the head in Nam but

FB is great for connecting and reconnecting, I agree!

Poptart said...

i love facebook too. everyone who thinks it's a waste of time just hasn't had a good experience reconnecting with themselves from the past like you describe.

My grade school principal friended me! How insane.

Also, did you tell the girls about that headsepwing incident?

DJSassafrass said...

I'd like to think that IS Tony Orlando and Dawn are right outside the photo booth. geez

Tara said...

I've made so much contact with high school friends through Facebook. Just got in contact with a guy who gave me a Valentine when we were in 5th grade. Good news, he's single. Bad news is that he doesn't live in Ohio anymore.

Susan said...

I'm so not going to remember my high school years then? lol

My favorite thing about Facebook is awhile back I got an add request from someone I went to high school with. She was a foreign exchange student and quite possibly the most awesome person I've ever met. She lives in Sweden so if not for facebook I probably would never have talked to her again.

NoRegrets said...

Cool. Shooting a head across the wall...
Believe me, I forget/forgot a lot of things, and I didn't smoke or drink a lot, so at least you have an excuse.
High school friends are having a BBQ in NJ in June. It'll be weirrrd.

Johnny Yen said...

I've kept in touch with almost nobody from high school. My family moved from the city to the suburbs, and didn't fit in real well with the religious hypocrites and jocks. The first thing I did when I got out of college was to move back to Chicago.

Facebook has been nice in helping me get back in touch with friends from the first place I felt like I belonged, college.

Ananda girl said...

I still have my best friend from high school, as you know. The funny thing is that the two of us can remember the same event completely differently! I think sometimes that memory evolves in our heads as we age or that my focus was different from her perspective and so we kept different things. Does that make sense?
The point was that memory is not set in stone. I'm glad that you are recovering some and making some old connections fresh.
My second point is that I most clearly recall those things that hurt me. The bad imprints much stronger and takes way longer to fade.
My last thought is that ... yeah, we pay for what we did with some of those memories... but we made some too while doing it. Ha.

laura b. said...

I still haven't found as many friends as I would like to there...but I am hoping they'll show up eventually. Facebook is fun.
There are a lot of things I don't remember either. I notice it with my sister...we seem to have each taken completely different things to remember.

laura b. said...

Oh...are you picking a word this week?

Mr Atrocity said...

I have had exactly the same experience with Facebook. I'm now friends with people I haven't actually seen in 20 years and they keep reminding me of things I did which I have no recollection of. Either I am forgetful, or it's a carefully orchestrated wind-up. I haven't figured out which yet.

sissy said...

I agree with Laura B. My sister and I remember completely different things and we remember things differently. I know that sounds weird but it is true. Sometimes you tell a story and I know what you are talking about because I was there but that is not how I remeber it. You get mad at me because I remember it differently. Isn't that funny?

mighty jo said...

dude--my brain is so good at wiping the slate clean, it scares me sometimes. ive also heard that women in their late 30's often have memories come surging back & that one weird incident like cutting your toenails could bring back memories. i live in fear of this! ive done so many embarrassing things & let too many horrific thinks happen to me.

i hope you get a chance to remember all the good stuff (like be-heading a clay figure for history) & that the bad stuff stays hidden away.

MrManuel said...

Pot will do that!

Or so I heard...

And Facebook rules. It is allows me to connect in such an easy fashion.

Churlita said...


So, my memory gaps are just normal? Okay. I'll take it.


Stinky was here when I first read about it, so she wanted to know why I was laughing. I read it to her and she thought it was funny too.


He is the spitting image, but you'd think I'd remember that...


How far away is he? Maybe you could do the long distance thing?


Maybe you won't kill as many brain cells as I did when I was in my twenties and you'll remember it all.


That could be cool. I hope you blog about it.


That's cool that you're connecting with the people who mattered in your past. I don't have a lot of friends from high school, but there were some cool people I've reconnected with.


I have very few regrets in my life. I can't change my self-esteem issues from my past, all I can do is keep working on them now. I had fun losing every one of my brain cells.


I still haven't found my two best friends from when I lived in San francisco on FB, but I have found other people I'm really glad about.

Mr Atrocity,

That would be kind of a cool Twilight Zone episode. Where a bunch of people on Facebook get together and reconstruct someone's life and that person actually thinks things happened as his friends said and lives his life with a false history? I'd watch it.


If I get mad, it's usually because you tell me that I don't remember the things I'm sure I remember. It's not because you remember it differently. It's that youngest kid thing where we're constantly on the defensive against our older siblings.

Mighty Jo,

I usually try to face all the bad stuff, because when I've been in denial in the past, it has come out in very bad ways. I'm not sure my way is right either, it's just how I have to do things. I like to add the good memories too though.

Mr Manuel,

Me too. It's so easy to write someone a quick line instead of writing out an entire long email or talk to them on the phone and get interrupted by my kids a million times.