Sunday, November 11, 2007

Are You Ready Boots? Start Walking

Here is a picture of a shed and a lawn mower.

I was going to do a meme that I was tagged for on another blog, but I actually have some bullshit to write about, so I'll save the meme for tomorrow when I'll probably be in need of a topic.

Man, I gotta be careful what I fantasize about, because I will surely get it. I was knocked on my ass by my migraine for most of the weekend. I literally was in my jammies from Friday morning until Sunday morning. Damn. I was going to wish for a ton of money, but with my luck I'd be walking under a building just as someone was throwing gold bricks out the window.

So, Saturday night while I was home watching a movie, I got a text from my friend K. that just said, "Make Out Quest 2007" - no details or anything. It was the meanest thing you could do to a loser like me, who's home on a Saturday night and needs to live vicariously through others. On Sunday morning, she messaged me and said she'd tell me the story at the Vine while we watched the Steelers. AWESOME.

She showed up along with our friend James and another friend who came up from St Louis named Erik. I won't go into any of the details, but it sounds like we need to start frequenting bars in the suburbs of our town, because that's apparently where the hot guys hang out. I was laughing about how I was definitely losing the game because I'm such a shut-in and it's not like any guy is going to come to my house and ask to make out with me. My friend Erik said, "I would. I would totally come to your house and ask to make out with you." Did I mention that Erik is very good for my self-esteem that has been badly bruised since this Summer?

Later when my friend James and I were talking about our love for the old school video games, Erik said that he loved Galaga. I informed him that I'd been playing that a lot recently and he offered to come over and make out with me and then play some Galaga. Now that I think about it, if you threw in some beer and barbecue, that could be the perfect date.

Hey, wasn't I going to tell you about the Steelers game? So, it did not look good for our boys at first. I was kind of surprised, since they usually do so well when I'm viewing their games. I must have said that out loud, because my friend James suggested that I call and tell them that. I promptly picked up my phone and pretended to talk to the Steelers (like any sane person would). I made them aware that I was indeed watching their game, so they needed to get their shit together and win one for me. And while I was at it, I gave them a list of players and one very hot, young coach who should fly directly to Iowa to visit me and my friend K. The crazy thing is, it worked. They started scoring right after that and finally won after a failed field goal attempt by the Browns at the very end of the game. All you Steelers fans can just thank me later.

While we were eating tons of greasy food and watching one of the other Steeler fans at the bar pacing the room when the game was close, Erik mentioned that the Santa Crawl thing he hosts every year was coming up on December 6th. I said I'd try to make it, and then K. and I talked about what we should wear. We now each have a pair of tall black boots and so we figured we'd wear those and work up from there. I was thinking I'd find a cute, short red dress or skirt to go with that and Erik was adamant that I wear black hose with the seam that shows in the back too. Then this guy who Erik worked with at Bruegger's in the eighties, turned around on his bar stool without hearing the beginning of the conversation and said, "You are definitely going to have to wear some tall black boots with that." I assured him that we already had that covered, and then he said, "Okay. I just wanted to make sure you did it right." I thought the whole exchange was kind of funny, but both Erik and James agreed, one thing that looks sexy on any woman no matter how big or small, is that combination of tall boots and short skirt together. I was a little surprised that that many guys had such a strong opinion on it. So, I guess it's time for me to go shopping, huh?


Not Fainthearted said...

tall boots. short skirt. OKee Dokee.

I'd just like to find a winter coat that wasn't a ski jacket. That's how lame I am.

You're off the hook tonight, but I wanna see some answers! ;-)

Ice said...

Monday morning teas! ;)

Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

Well I don't see why you won't take Erik home for a make out session.. hey if they are ready, willing and able... Do it for all us married

Indiana Joe said...

You gotta love old school video games.I started out with Pong and Colecovision.I still have the Pong game and Nintendo's first version. Mario,Dig Dug & Excitebike all still work. But the crown jewel in my collection is an early 80's pinball machine called The Black Hole".It has two playing levels with double flippers.Check it out at

Tara said...

Yes, get that little red dress, definitely!

I'd like to find either a red dress or a little black dress for my office Christmas party. Love looking for red dresses.

My mom and I were watching the Browns/Steelers game, and at least the first half for us was positive and exciting (even for me who isn't a sports fan), but it sounds like your side switched with us at the end.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Directness = sexy

invite. him. home.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

all I have to do is ask, and bring my mad Galaga skills? I've been doing this all wrong.

fringes said...

I'm confused why you didn't take Erik home that night. Too late-Eighties?

DJSassafrass said...

Speaking of clothes...I have managed to get rid of most--but I have a pair of pants with your name on it--these HAVE to go to someone I know and love because they are phenomenal party pants! Red, iridescent.....perfect!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I had to skim your post, but then the steeler fan thing just jumped out at me. I have stuck with them since thier dynasty days in the 70's. I am actually more into college football now, but I still love my old steelers.

Payne's Gray said...

Wait! Why didn't you tell me about this whole video games AND making out thing earlier?

booda baby said...

That explains a lot.

I am glad you had such a great great day. Your post massaged my icky hangover.

evil-e said...

The Sunday plans were the coolest...thanks for watching the Steelers for me. I love laughing at mopey Clevelanders the following Monday.

Chance said...

I'd come over and ask to make out with you, if only for the change to play video games and listen to music later.

Churlita said...


I bet you'd look amazing in the short skirt/tall boot combination.


Yeah. Ha ha.


I would if I weren't so scared of boys in general.

Indiana Joe,

How cool.I'll totally check it out.


If you do get a cute dress, I expect to see picture of you in it.


I know. I know. What the hell is wrong with me?


Do you have mad Galaga skills? I would love to see them.


Well, it was Sunday afternoon and my girls were home. You know how that goes.


Cool. You know I'm always up for a pair of good party pants. Thanks.


Did you see them on Monday Night Football when all the old 76 players were on?


Yeah. Of course. Hey, I need some suggestions for good story driven shooter games like BioShock. You got any?

Booda Baby,

Oh, honey. I;m sorry you have an icky hangover.


I think that was the most suspenseful game I've seen in a long time. Even better that they won too.


Believe me. I would never force anyone to make out with me. You could just come over and play video games and listen to music without all that messy making out.

michi said...

I lovelovelove the skirt and boots combination ;)

Churlita said...


Me too, and apparently guys do as well.

Anonymous said...

looking forword to seeing the you go to dillars?

erik said...

dont forget the body gleamers!!!!

Churlita said...


Ha ha. I can't believe you found this. I totally went to Dillards with K. and T. and got my dress AND the hose. Thanks for the suggestion.