Sunday, November 04, 2007

You Never Do What You Know You Oughta

Coadster and Stinky, right after Coadster got her first shiner while she and her sister were jumping on the bed and Stinky's head hit Coadster's face. It was a proud, proud moment for the whole family.

Once the reality of not only having a baby, but a girl baby, sets in, a mother begins to contemplate her child's future - and stress-out hard. She worries about electrical outlets and bleach under the counter. She can see danger in big dogs, teenage drivers and scary, white van driving, child molesters. A mom will remember her own past and lose sleep thinking that someday, her daughter will have her heart broken by some pimply faced, testosterone filled loser who won't deserve her, and then that memory of getting suddenly sidelined by the group of girls, who the mother thought were her friends, rears its ugly head, and she thinks that maybe homeschooling isn't such a bad idea after all.

Last night Coadster came home early from her friend's house in tears. Apparently, there had been some weird drama and then there was an accusation and Coadster was left feeling confused and angry. I tried to find out what all the hub bub was about, and it all seemed ridiculous to me, but I do remember how all that shit was so intense when I was 15 too. Some girl was telling everyone that Coadster told her best guy friend who one of her girlfriends liked. Who cares, right? Coadster said she couldn't have even if she wanted to, because she didn't know who her friend liked.

I graciously offered to line up all those bitchy girls and slap them up Three Stooges style where I take my front hand all the way down the line and then switch to the backhand and get them all again.

"They're not worth hurting your hand over," Coadster said. Then I offered to make her some cinnamon toast and get every pillow and blanket we could find and lie around in my beautiful gigantic new bed, that I like to refer to as my comfort cocoon. I told her we could watch any movie she wanted and I'd rub her back. She was all for it, and fell asleep in less than an hour. Poor thing.

Today, after the dust had settled, and before we went to Coadster's show choir concert, she found out what really happened. It was actually only the one girl who was causing trouble, her other friends didn't even know what was going on. My friend K. calls those kind of girls, shit stirring bitches and I think it's a perfect description for people who cause that kind of drama for attention, or because they want everyone to be as unhappy as they are? I've never understood what causes people to stir up shit that way at someone else's expense.

Anyway, we got through round one last night. I have a feeling we still have several more rounds to go before the girls get old enough not to have to deal with that crap. Is it too late to start homeschooling?


Mr Atrocity said...

If she has the marts to know that they "aren't worth hurting your hand over" then I think you're onto a winner.

Ice said...

Boys issues are different but not any better. They do really dumb shit like stuff your son's head in the toilet or have him steal a bottle of liquor from the cupboard at home and bring it to school so it can be found in their locker by the principal who then kicks your son off the 7th grade basketball team.
Talk about wanting to slap someone silly.
It' too late to start home schooling. ;)

Ice said...

ice is really that old reprobate Remiman or rel as he is occassional called.

Tara said...

Your cure/treatment for a bad teenage night sounded really nice! You're a good mother, and I would've liked to have seen you take on those girls Stooge style.

I was thinking hypothetically of getting a tempur pedic mattress...You know, with the memory foam? I know they're expensive, though, but it's time for something new.

Not Fainthearted said...

I hope it smooths over soon for her, but I suspect you're right. Round two is coming up.

At least she talks to you about this shit. I think if either of my boys were going through something like this I'd have to find out from the third party sources.

Killer said...

I don't recall much drama type crap as a young male, but I do recall a lot of bad advice and peer pressure.

Margaret said...

oh how it sucks to be a teenaged girl! at least coadster has a mom who's got her back

booda baby said...

It might be weepy and hurt moments now, but at least she's learning recovery from-being-wounded techniques. Ha. Twenty years from now she'll still make mountains of cinnamon toast (which solves many MANY crises).

I was always off to some track meet and/or working out so barely even knew girls could get like that. I'm sure they did, but I just never registered it. To this day, I have no idea how to navigate that shit. I severe ties first, ask questions later. Which doesn't sound so bad until you discover you've got to LEARN how to forgive.

Mr Atrocity said...

That was "smarts" by the way. Me no proof-ready today, clearly.

fringes said...

Stuff like this is where our maturity begins. In 10 years or so, she'll navigate shit-stirrers like a pro.

laura b. said...

I remember my teenage pain like it was yesterday and watching my kids go through similar things doesn't feel like pain once removed. It feels very immediate and just as real as if it were my own pain.

evil-e said...

Being a dude, I was the cause of some of that drama. I did have a few incidents in life that caused some stress, but for the most part life has been easy come easy go....

Liz said...

She will never be surrounded by girls old enough to know better. Those girls simply grow up to be OLDER shit starting bitches. Sorry, but I work with a gaggle of them.

MrManuel said...

Teenage girls crack me up. I went through the same thing with my little sister...

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Things like this have a lot to do with why I spent most of my teen-age years pale, friendless and in my room reading. I didn't have the kind of mom who would rub my back and offer to put a hurtin' on whoever hurt me.

BTW - that picture of the girls is so freakin' cute it makes my eyes hurt.

Churlita said...

Mr Atrocity,

Yeah. She's way smarter than I am.


Yeah, Ale' knew some boys who stole condoms from Walgreens. There seemed to be a lot of wishful thinking in that act.

I like your new moniker. It sounds so street.


Thanks. I just offered what I would have wanted someone to offer me.

I highly recommend it.

Not Fainthearted,

I'm sure that's the difference between having girls and boys.


That happens with both boys and girls...The blind leading the blind.


Thanks. It's hard to know what hurts and what helps when they're in high school.

Booda Baby,

Do we HAVE to forgive? That sucks.

Mr Atrocity,

I figured it out. I'm the worst ever at proofreading.


Too bad it's a skill we all have to learn.

laura B.,

Don't I know it. don't you wish they could learn from your experiences?


Good for you. You are a lucky, lucky man.


I know. I've worked in enough offices to see that too.

Churlita said...

Mr Manuel,

That's so nice of you to try to help her.


I hear you. It's why I mostly hung out with guys when I was younger. They were only mean to you if you were dumb enough to date them.

Michelle said...

Oh, I loathed high school and all that unnecessary drama. I tried to blend in but got dragged into it against my will a couple times...ugh. I hope Coadster feels better!

Chance said...

"I have a feeling we still have several more rounds to go before the girls get old enough not to have to deal with that crap."

It's been my experience that it doesn't end no matter how old you get.

Churlita said...


She seems totally over it, but I'm still a little pissed off for her.


No. You're right. There are some unhappy women in their 50's in my office acting like catty little junior high bitches