Friday, April 18, 2008

I Want to Tell You Something You've Known All Along

Hey, here's this creepy gingerbread thing we found just sitting at the bar where we met the kilt wearing boys.

So, this is my 500th post on this here blog and I don't really have much to say. You'd have thought I would have saved something monumental, but I got nuthin'.

I went to see my friend Ed Gray play at the Picador tonight and that was cool. My girl crush might come into town tomorrow night and that's the coolest. I suppose I could put a text conversation I had on here from last Friday night. I'll warn you first that's it's completely wrong and inappropriate and so if you're easily offended, you probably won't want to read on. If you're not, it's just kind of ridiculous. I won't put the names of anyone involved on here either. Oh, and don't be surprised when it sounds like two 10 year olds. Remember, one of them is me.

Me: How's uranus?

Other Texter: My turd cutter is just fine thank you.

Me: Our friend (the person who was sitting next to me at the bar) is grossed out by the term turd cutter.

Other Texter: Our friend needs to get her shit pushed in.

Me: What? Do you mean ass fucked?

Other Texter: Excuse me. Our friend needs to have anal intercourse.

Me: Thanks for clearing that up.

See what I mean? Wrong, bad, immature and perfect for my 500th post. I think it sums up my blog nicely, don't you?


Remiman said...

I think you're outragously wonderful.......
Are you related to Pearl?

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

Awesome way to bring about yer 500th post.. Congrats..

Mr Atrocity said...

Clearing what up exactly? Some sort of horrible mess perhaps?

Happy blogiversary.

Tara said...

That's so disturbing, but because it's a text message it somehow seems right.

Anyway, onto something unrelated...Did you feel the earthquake last night? I heard Illinois had one today!

Tara said...

Okay, forget part of my post, I meant did you feel the earthquake this morning...since it happened today, you couldn't have felt it last night.

NoRegrets said...

That's so cool... I may have to get text messaging so I can text with you when I'm drunk.

Just thought of crap staring. Poor crap seeing that thing coming at it.

another good thing said...

put me on your texting list, I think we have the same sense of humor.

DJSassafrass said...

I hope we never grow up!

Poptart said...

Holy turd cutter. I am totally gonna call someone that this weekend.

laura b. said...

Somehow, you couldn't have celebrated your 500th post any more perfectly :-) Congrats!

dmarks said...

Congratulations on #500!