Wednesday, April 02, 2008

That Silent Sense of Content That Everyone Gets

K. took this picture of me being a dork and messing with my hair on St Patrick's Day.

So, tonight I met my friend J. out. We were going to go to the Java House, but when I got off work, I had to pick Stinky up from track and drive three of her friends home and then I went running and then I took the girls to their dad's house, and then it was seven and I hadn't eaten yet. J. got off work late and missed dinner so he was up for going to Pizza on Dubuque. And because we were in the neighborhood, we decided to go downstairs to the Dublin for a beer instead of going for coffee. Oops.

Since we hadn't seen each other in a year, we had a lot of catching up to do. J. has always been really good at girl talk and we've known each other for over ten years, so he knows all my shit. I had some hilariously funny dating stories to tell him. He seemed a little envious, but I told him, the whole "being single and dating" thing can be fun, but it is a pretty shallow existence. He's been with the same woman for over a year now and I was a little envious of that.

J. is ten years younger than me and we talked about relationships at different ages. He said he couldn't wait to be in his forties when there wouldn't be so much pressure from women his age to get married and have babies. I hadn't really thought about that before. I've already done all that, so I have little desire to get married or procreate. It's probably the reason I don't feel that pressure to be in a serious relationship as soon as possible either. Yes, I'd love to meet someone I'm compatible with, but my clock's done ticked itself out for the most part, so it's not like I have any kind of time pressure as to when I have to find that guy. Of course, being single and dating at any age can be by turns both great fun and an annoying pain in the ass.

And true to our domestic states, J. left earlier to go see his girlfriend, and I stayed another hour to shoot the shit with my friend Rory and his fiance, E. and my friend Libby and her husband R. and it was so great, I didn't even notice any down side this time.


-RM said... a 24 soon to be 25 year old. I tend to like older women, but my cutoff is 30. I guess I should start looking at women in their 40's. Shit, I've noticed that women are staying really hot for longer periods of time. Gd bless 40+ year old hot women!

Mr Atrocity said...

"...we decided to go downstairs to the Dublin for a beer instead of going for coffee. Oops."

Trust me, there is no "oops" in "go...for a beer." FACT.

evil-e said...

Beer is good food and just as conversational as coffee.

Right now I am with a younger girl who has no desire for the Barbie dream wedding or kids. I have passed the point where I even think about it anymore. I am just enjoying my days as best I can.

Hopefully my blog will be back up and running soon. It is apparently as sick as I am.

fringes said...

I liked this post. Glad you're working your way back to contentment.

booda baby said...

Some times, it's just good to revisit what you KNOW and feel is true and not what looks good. (?) Shit. I hate when that happens - when I mean something, but it comes out reading like I'm a dope. Which is a condition I suffer from with some regularity. Oh well. Beer. Beer's good.

laura b. said...

You make a very interesting point about how people might want different things at different stages of their lives.

Poptart said...

Yeah, I'm jealous of not having the clock ticking. I feel like with me it's not only a huge dating liability, but it's a real, scary thing that I have to struggle with on my own...there's nothing easy about it.

Churlita said...


You're good. You can come back and comment as often as possible.

Mr Atrocity,

Yeah and I only had 2, so I wasn't that bad.


I'm so sad your blog is down. I'm glad you and your girlie have all that stuff worked out.


Thanks. I'm totally good right now. It's kind of surprising, actually.

Booda Baby,

You don't sound like a dope at all.


That's the good thing about dating. There are as many situations as there are people. Our odds are good.


I know. I'm sorry. Already having kids, as we know, is its own liability. I've had guys break up with me because they thought they might want to have kids and I wasn't going to have any more.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

But don't they ever realize you've got two awesome kids who are way past the diaper stage? It's like a perfect setup to slip into. You're like Lorelei Gilmore with double the kid fun.

dmarks said...

I think there is more alcohol in that photo than I have ever drank. Total. That means more for you guys!

Tara said...

I had a fairly decent conversation with a student the other day who's 13 years younger. He can be a little immature at times, but when he comes in to chit-chat (while he should be in class), it is a nice break in the day.

Tara said...

Oh but not about relationships, he was thinking of getting his ears pierced. I suggested he put shower curtain rings in them once he does.

Remiman said...

I'm either first or last. ;)

Their is no perfect relationship.
Personnaly, I like where I'm at. Like, duh...where else can I be; can't go back; afraid to jump forward (might miss my own funeral). So here I am and you know, it's pretty good all things considered, so I've decide to like it.
How's that for pontificating philosiphizing?

AlienCG said...

I hope to know the joy and pain of dating in my thirties. I'm 34, so I don't have much longer.

Churlita said...


If only guys saw me that way...


It was St Paddy's day and there were tons of people at the table. I know it doesn't sound like it from my blog, but I'm normally a two beer kind of girl.


Shower curtain rings would be awesome.


That's great. There's nothing wrong with being happy where you're at.

Alien CG,

You're not even halfway through yet. You have plenty of time.