Monday, December 31, 2007

It's Time for the Good Times

Well, kids. I love you all and I've been meaning to write, but my internet is still down and so I can only blog at work. If I ever do get it going, I will be sure and post pics and write longer, more detailed posts. Until that day comes, this is what you get.

Thanks everyone for all your nice and sometimes dirty wishes for me. I appreciate each and every one of them. The date is still going very well. Mr. St Louis is staying until tomorrow, so we've got one more evening together.

Right now, I won't do the whole play by play thing. Everything has been so great and so fun, but it's also been busy, so I haven't had time to process it all. Chicago was awesome and just having time to ourselves to talk in the car with no distractions was almost the best part of the trip. That's including staying in Wrigleyville, all-you-can-eat-sushi, checking out the neighborhood bars and a Bears game where my team beat his.

So, tonight. Mr. St. Louis is going to pick me up from work. I'm going to get ready as quickly as possible and we're going to get K. and head to the Dublin Underground where they celebrate at 6 pm because it's midnight in Ireland then. We have reservations at Taste of Melrose at nine, but we're keeping that open. If we're having fun downtown, then we'll stay put and try to rustle up some grub where we are.

Here's wishing you all a wonderful New Year and wishing me some working internet. I hope we all get what we want.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

'Cause She Thinks She's The Passionate One

Okay, kids. This will be quick. My internet at home is somehow screwed. I think it has something to do with the connection to my router, but as you well know, I have no computer kowledge whatsoever. So, I'm writing quickly and furtively at work and I'll try to fix my home computer problems later.

Now, Mr St Louis should be here when I get off work. I'm this annoying combination of excited and scared and a little insecure...I know, I know, it's like any other day, just magnified. Of course, me being me, I couldn't sleep very well last night AND I forgot to put on deodorant, so I really do feel like a natural woman today. Duh.

So far, our extended weekend date looks like it will go like this: This evening we will stay at my house and eat sandwiches and stuff and have some drinks. Tomorrow evening we will try to hook up with K. and T. and Ondine and then head down to the Dublin. On Saturday night we'll drive to Chicago and go out for Dim Sum and drinks. Then on Sunday we'll go to the Bears/Saints game. Mr. St. Louis is a Saints fan, so we'll be rivals for a day.

Okay. I'll be thinking of you....Just kidding. If all goes well, I won't remember that any of you exist.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Come Tomorrow, Feel No Pain

This will be a lovely photo post of my holidays. You know, half the talk and twice images. This was the first thing I saw when I looked out my window on Saturday morning. Yup, that is actual frozen urine from when the boys peed their initials in the snow for me. Pretty neat, huh?...Or not.

This is what all the snow looked like when I shoveled it for over an hour the day before Christmas Eve. Remember when I said that I liked to shovel snow? Well, let me amend that by saying I like to shovel snow, until there is a veritable fuckload of it.

On Christmas Eve, Stinky got to spend time loving up her younger cousins with mixed results. The baby girl cousin loved the attention...

...The older boy cousin? Not so much.

By Christmas Eve night, the girls and I had filled ourselves so full of the holiday spirit, that we had reached our saturation point and it was WAY past time to go home. I was even eating a piece of candy here and I looked like I needed a gigantic happy pill. That's how you know I'm exhausted.

Now most of the running around and stress is over. The girls head to Madison tomorrow to hang out with my brother and their beloved cousin, M. I will retrieve them on Saturday. Until then, I will be furiously readying myself for Mr. St Louis who should be here by the time I get off work on Thursday. I still have a lot to do to get ready. Maybe I should get my caffeine through intravenous drip for the next couple of days...

Monday, December 24, 2007

Another Delay. Too Many Hassles

Here are some icy berries on a tree.

Today was day number 533 of my busy craziness - or at least, that's what it felt like. I drove on icy roads. Icy roads with drifting snow. Snow that swirled, seemed more like steam, and made the highway look like it was paved in dry ice. Then I spent time with my siblings and then drove on more icy roads. Finally, I made it home and met K. at the Dublin for a beer.

Tomorrow there will probably more driving and more family. Then hopefully, on Christmas day, I can rest. Happy holidays, kids.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

And Don't You Eat That Yellow Snow

Today the Saturday Scavenger hunt word was spirit. Here is a picture of us girls all in the Christmas spirit several years ago. As you can see, my nose was very red. It wasn't from me imbibing spirits, but I did have a bad cold.

This year we will have a white Christmas for sure. We can't fuck this one up. It is busy outside, snowing and snowing and snowing. It even just thundered. I love it when there is thunder and lightning during snow storms.

I had a house full of eighth graders tonight AND a migraine. Two great tastes in one candy bar it was not. I also spent most of the day doing recycling, taking cans and bottles back, finally getting a Christmas tree and almost finishing all my shopping - all with a migraine. Awesome.

I spent some time talking to Mr St. Louis on his journey to South Carolina to see his mom. After I got over my migraine, we had great phone conversations while he sat in airports waiting for almost every one of his delayed flights. He gave me some good news today. He misread his itinerary. He will actually get back to St Louis a day earlier. So, he should be in town before I get off work on Thursday. That will give us almost 10 more hours. Hip, hip, hooray!

The snow made the teenagers in my house kind of crazy. At one point, all the boys ran outside and peed their names in the snow right outside my window. Awww, thanks guys. I'll never forget you. One of Stinky's friends asked me to write about her in my blog post tonight. She told me I should tell the whole internets that she's wearing Superman underwear and that they're her favorite pair. Consider it done.

Friday, December 21, 2007

In a World Gone Crazy, Everything Seems Hazy

Here is Stinky standing next to a Cyclone Cone when we were in Ames.

Today, Mr. St Louis called me in the afternoon and asked me what I was doing. This is what I told him, "I'm at Jiffy Lube watching end of the year sports highlights on ESPN". He told me that he never guessed I'd answer that way. You know me, I like to be unpredicatable. Basically today, I ran around like a crazy person trying to get shit done.

First, Stinky and I watched a girl movie. At one point, a woman had a two year old'ish kid who started to cry. And cry and cry and cry. At least three people asked her to take the kid out so we could hear what the pretty people on the screen were saying. The woman not only refused, she got pissed-off that anyone even suggested it. What the hell is wrong with people?

After the movie, we got our car ready for holiday travel and then we went to the mall and I got most of my Christmas shopping done. I still have a few things to get, and I may have to work around a blizzard to finish up, but I'll will finish, dammit.

Tonight, I was wiped out. My friend Ondine called me to see if I'd meet her and T. and our friend Ed Gray at George's for a beer. I showed up, drank one whole, entire beer, chatted with my friends and then went home. Very quick and dirty...Okay, there was nothing dirty about it. Darn.

You Know We'll Have a Good Time Then

Here's my friend C. all painted up at the Steelers game.

And here's my friend K. looking super darn cute, if you ask me.

So, tonight some of my friends are in St Louis staying at Mr. St Louis' house and watching the Steelers/Rams game in person. I have to say, I'm a little sad to miss it all. I had to work and I have the girls, so there was no way I could go. Mr. St Louis was great about sending me photos and videos of the game. So, I didn't feel totally left out. My friend James joked about sending me a picture of him lying on Mr. St Louis' bed. How mean is that? Yeah, but it's funny, so it's okay.

The good thing is, that I only work a half day tomorrow. Originally, I was going to take the girls out for lunch and a movie and do some shopping, but Coadster has to DJ Friday night in the Quad Cities, so it will just be Stinky and me. Yeah, I know. It's time for another round of "Cat's in the Cradle". Hopefully, I'll have a few more days until they leave for Madison with my brother. And then while they're gone. Mr. St Louis will come up to visit next week about this time. There are so many things to do before that, and I've been bad about putting it all off. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel like getting two weeks worth of shit done. Don't you think?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

That It Ain't No Sin to be Glad You're Alive

Here is a picture of an icy tree still wearing its leaves.

Soooooo, let me tell you how it is. I'm not super drunk, but I have a little buzz going. I had a few issues with my phone earlier today, so I wasn't able to text the way I wanted to. I went to the Verizon store after work, and they cleaned it up and then updated some software and now it's back in working order.

After I got my phone back, I noticed I had a voice mail from my friend Ondine. I had to zip from the Coralridge mall to the Sycamore mall in 20 minutes to catch No Country for Old Men. I got there just in time and it was totally amazing. It definitely wasn't the feel good hit of the season, but who would see a Cormack McCarthy film adaptation looking for that?

After the movie, we went to the Sanctuary to drink and share appetizers. We apparently arrived right after a friend of mine did his annual reading of Dylan Thomas' "A Child's Christmas in Wales". I missed the reading, but I did get to see a lot of people I worked with at The Mill in the eighties. I also ran into that guy who was playing Sudoku at the Deadwood a few weeks ago, who came up to our table after overhearing our conversation? Remember that guy? Well, at the Deadwood, he felt really bad that he didn't remember my name. So, tonight he gave me a hug and made a big point to let me know he remembered my name and even used it at least twice in every sentence. It cracked me up.

I got home by eleven and talked to Mr St Louis for a bit, but I think I was a little too half-drunk and babbling. Poor guy.

Now, it's late and I have to go. I promise I'll be better about reading and commenting on blogs, replying to my commenters and emailing people starting tomorrow. 'Kay?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Well She's Walking Through the Clouds

Here is a garbage can and benches right by where I work.

First, I want to say thanks to everyone who posted suggestions for the make-out playlist. They were all so awesome. I love it that so many people had such great ideas. You all must have the best make-out music ever in the world. Mr St. Louis keeps giving me awesome ideas too. Everyday he'll call me with a new song he's thought of. I'm taking it as a really good sign that one of his first suggestions was "Dancing in the Moonlight" by King Harvest. Since it's one of my favorite pop songs ever, I already had it on there.

Second, today was pretty amazing. Not in that way where one wonderful thing happened. I didn't finally stumble across my imaginary trust fund or discover a cure for cancer. It was more like everything I did was A-Okay. I did my thing at work. I got some awesome texts throughout the day that really helped me grit my teeth through annoying phone calls. I have my co-worker John trained so well, that when he shot a few rubber bands over the cubicle wall at me, all I had to do was bounce my impressive rubber band ball on my desk a few times to make him knock it off.

After work, I went with my friend K. and my other friend Ondine (who is in town for a few weeks, hooray!) to the rec building to work-out and talk shit. I also got to spend some time with Coadster, who has been mostly absent these days. She's in four different choirs and then she has social engagements, but tonight? Tonight, she graced me with her presence and she's still just as funny, poised and full of attitude as ever - just the way I like her.

I had a really great phone conversation with Mr. St Louis until my phone died. It's so nice to be with someone who lets you get kind of stupid about him. I will stop before I get too annoyingly gushy, but suffice it to say, I'm pretty damn happy.

So, in the spirit of trying to make note of the good times, today I loved my life. And, I'm not even saying it sarcastically. I really did feel like things were exactly as they were supposed to be. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be all full of piss and vinegar again, but tonight, I'm busy appreciating my daughters and my friends and that one guy - who, as he likes to say, makes me feel all "dolphins and rainbows". Okay, I'm stopping. I promise.

Honey U Got 2 Slow Down

Here is an icy tree on Iowa Avenue across the street from Lou Henry's

Oh, kids. This long distance thing takes some time. I start a phone call around ten and the next thing I know, it's after midnight and I haven't blogged yet and don't really care. Sometimes it's hard to juggle all of my obsessions.

What I will say about long distance dating since the invention of the cell phone, is that it makes it both a little easier and a little harder. I know I've mentioned that we text a lot during the day. Well, toward the end of last week, Mr. St Louis discovered the beauty of texting videos. How crazy is that? He could send me a 15 second video of himself lying on the couch and watching 21 Jump Street, or take me on a quick tour of his room. On Saturday, he sent me numerous videos of his pub crawl exploits that got better and better as the night wore on. It was awesome. One thing I will warn you about if you're considering this kind of communication, is this: You know how if you drunk dial someone and you wake up the next day with a vague awareness of that action and maybe the person you dialed gives you shit about it, and you feel a little embarrassed, but you don't exactly remember it, so you can tell yourself that that person was exaggerating? Well, with video texts, there is none of that. You can go back and watch the video you sent someone when you were a few (hundred) sheets to the wind in all its blaring honesty. All I have to say is, I loved every one of the videos I received and some of the later ones were the best.

The other weird thing about sending someone flirty texts, is that it sometimes feels like I'm writing lyrics to Prince songs. You know? Like what I'm sending is dangerously close to, "I'm gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine...". Or what have you. Do you think in the eighties Prince had any idea that someday every teenager would write like him?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

It Comes Upon Me Without Warning

Here is a picture of a dead bird in the snow.

Today I watched the Steelers play and the game was bad. And when I say bad, I mean the Steelers lost.

Just as we were getting ready to leave The Vine and go home, I got a text from Stinky telling me she felt sad. She said she didn't want me to leave my game, but she was just feeling kind of bad in general. I told her I'd be home in five minutes. I think she just had a case of the the Sunday sads. Have you ever had those? I used to get that all the time when I was younger and I overextended myself during the weekend, and Sunday just seemed kind of lonely and final.

Our original plan was to finally go get our tree, but Stinky just wasn't into it. I asked her what she needed and she suggested a movie. Escapism. What an excellent choice. So, we drove to the Sycamore Mall and decided to see whatever movie that was fun and going to be showing the soonest. That movie happened to be Alvin and the Chipmunks. We had about a half hour before the movie, so we wandered around and looked at stuff.

After the movie, we stopped at Panera's for soup and bread and hot chocolate and we even ate dessert first - just like you're supposed to. While we were eating, Stinky asked me if I liked the movie. I told her it was cute. It wasn't something I would make a point to see, but it made her happy. And I'd see it a hundred times if it could do that for her every time.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Sweatbox, Laser Beams, Flashing Lights and Wild Cards

Okay. It's Saturday Scavenger hunt day, and since I'm finally staying in on a Saturday night, I'm actually doing this one on time. The word this week was card. Everyone else did very creative photos for this, and since I'm posting last, I figured I'd try a different angle. This is the definition I'm using: a witty amusing person who makes jokes.

Here is a photo of my daughters in front of the Hilltop when they were younger, thinking they are quite the cards - just ask them.

Now dear readers, I have a question for you. Just say you were going to have a long distance guy come visit you in two weeks, and you wanted to make a fun make-out playlist for your iPod. This is all purely hypothetical, of course. But if you were, and you wanted to, what would be your favorite songs to make-out to. And as usual, you don't have to worry about them being too cheesy, because you all know that my love for cheese knows no bounds.

And Feel, Feel What It's Like to be New

Here is a picture of a bent, icy, metal fence.

Tonight I am tired. It's been a long, weird week. It's been really good in a lot of ways, but busy and I feel like I need to spend some time in my lair to try and process it all. Hopefully, this weekend will be more mellow than last. I think we'll get our tree tomorrow. I may go out for a drink with a girl or two tomorrow night, but I don't plan on staying out late.

I'm sure there'll be football and beer and wings on Sunday, and one of these days I'll have to actually go Christmas shopping. I just can't bring myself to walk into a mall on a weekend day right before Christmas. Now, I will retire, in hopes that I can rest up and be more functional tomorrow. As always, wish me luck.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I'm Tired of Making Out on the Telephone

Oh, look. Another icy tree pic. What a surprise.

Okay. I, er... um, well...I think I'm going to start having a fun fling with this one guy. There. I said it. I don't know if it will develop into anything more than that, because, ironically enough, he lives in St Louis. Yeah, that place K. and I joked about making a pilgrimage to in order to meet a man who will actually pay his share. Life can be funny like that, huh? It's about a four hour drive there and neither one of us are opposed to meeting in some town halfway. There will have to be a lot of effort made on both our parts, and I guess time will tell whether we think it's worth it in the long run. Right now, it feels like it could be.

He is fun and generous and affectionate and conscientious and hott as hell and has been really good at making me feel like I'm worth his time and energy. How refreshing is that? He's also my exact same age. I haven't dated a guy my age or older in the last ten years. And it's not like I'm some scary cougar lady either, it's just that in my town, single, datable men in their forties are an urban legend. So, as many people have pointed out, sometimes you have to import them.

Again, we'll see where it goes, but flirty daytime texting, sexy evening calls and the promise of an actual meeting in person in the next two weeks are really helping me get through all of this weather and the holiday season. And right now, that's enough.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sometimes I Don't Thrill You

So, yeah. Like I said, we had an ice storm, and you know we can't have any kind of weather here, unless I run around town documenting it. Just know, you'll be seeing a lot of photos of things dripping in ice for the the next few weeks at Churlita's house of cheese. Now, on with the Dinosaur Junior show...

Here is a picture of what the ice did to one of my favorite trees on the Pentacrest. Wah.

Okay, so the show on Tuesday night was really good. It was an early all ages dealy. And when I say all ages, it was high school kids up to people even older than me. I saw several folks with gray hair. I also recognized a lot of people from the hard core shows I used to go to in the eighties. I have no idea if they live in town, or if they drove from far away in the ice to get here, but I never, ever see them anymore.

I'm not very good at talking about music critic stuff. Basically, I'm on the level of "it had a good beat and you can dance to it..." Or in this case, for a bunch of old guys, they could totally rock, and according to what a guy I know named Matt said, the last time they played here they got into a fight on stage and broke-up shortly thereafter. The kids all seemed to be playing nicely together this however many years later.

Here it is close-up. Wah again.

I was surprised by the turn-out after the ice storm, but it was packed. The last time I was at a show with that many people in the Picador/Gabes was about ten years ago when Stereolab played. K. and I moved up front for the last couple of songs and the encore. There was a pretty big mosh pit, so we kept our distance. I was happy to see plenty of gray haired guys out there mixing it up though.

After the show, K. and I went back by the bar and we saw a guy K. went to high school with. He was there with another man and I had one of those "blog meets world" experiences. The man he was with, was a friend of the guy I was hanging out with this Summer. When he introduced himself to me, I recognized his name and said, "Hey, do you have a blog?" He looked kind of surprised and admitted that he did. I told him that I read it and had left comments on it in the past. He suddenly put it all together and asked me if I used to date his friend and remembered exactly which comments I had left. It was kind of cool. You never know if those meetings are going to be awkward or not, but he seemed totally great and we chatted for a bit before K. and I wandered downstairs to harass some other people we knew.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Misteltoe Hung Where You Can See, Every Couple Tries to Stop

Okay, kids. I just got back from the Dinosaur Junior show and it was awesome. But I can't talk about that now, I'll talk about that later. Now, I'm finally posting photos from the Santa Crawl.

This one was taken at the Deadwood. Remember how I warned you about the screeching? I think I was doing that here. Do you also remember how I always say that I'm glad that they don't make blogs scratch and sniff? Well, I'm just as glad that they don't come with sound. Believe me, you are too.

This is not the most flattering picture of me, but it's the only decent one I have of Erik and after all, this whole crawl was his baby, and I think he totally deserves his props. So, there you go.

Here's me with a friend of mine who everyone seems to think is my doppleganger. We don't really see it. Sure, we both have round faces and curly hair that we happen to always straighten on the same day. We even share the same name, but she pronounces her Tara, like Teara the paper and I pronounce mine like Churlita. But she has these amazing blue/green eyes that you can't really see in these photos and she's 25 and I'm 42. She likes to say that she wants to be me when she grows up, and I keep telling her to go ahead and set her sights that low, and she will surely achieve her goals.

Here we at the piano bar. At this point in the evening, everyone was trying to get people to make out with each other. I was totally okay with that, because I can be kind of a voyeur that way. At one point, some guys were trying to get Tara and I to make-out with each other, but we decided to give them the kiss-off instead. Suck on that.

After the bars closed, a few of us ended up doing after hours at my friend Dave's house. I hadn't done after hours at Dave's since he owned a video store in one of those cute little houses down
by the railroad tracks on Dubuque Street. It was tons of fun, but I started to really fade. So, whatever stragglers of us that were left, all shared a cab where we were forced to listen to Christmas music performed by the likes of Whitney Houston and Barry Manilow all the way home.

Monday, December 10, 2007

From the Midnight Sun Where the Hot Springs Blow

Here is our shed through the ice covered window.

*Here's an update: Everywhere around town is losing power. So, if there is no post tomorrow, you'll know why. The University just cancelled classes for the first time in like 10 or a hundred million years - I can't remember which. So, uh, yeah. Wish us luck.*

So, there's all kinds of talk about another ice storm. There are gloom and doom reports of downed power lines and deathly road conditions. My girls are counting on it. They're sure school will be canceled and have made elaborate plans for their friends to come over so they can go sledding at Hickory Hill park until they get too cold. They'll come home and leave a trail of cold, wet outer garments all the way to my bedroom where they will finally park themselves on my awesome new bed and play Guitar Hero with brittle, still frozen fingers.

I would love a snow day. For those of you who don't live in the land of the ice and snow, a snow day is a get out of jail free card in its best and purest form. It's too dangerous to travel to school, but for some reason, everyone can make it to the sledding hill just fine.

I'm kind of giving myself a blog post snow day. My friend Erik sent me those photos through the mail and so I probably won't have them until tomorrow. He sent one to my phone and it isn't one I'm willing to share with you. So, hopefully, there will be at least one or two that will be fun and not too heinous and I can write about the Santa Crawl with photos to illustrate the whole experience.

So, here's hoping you all a snow day that's bad enough to keep you from going to school and work, but not so bad that you still can't make it to the sledding hill.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

In Fact It Was a Little Bit Frightening

This weekend was long. It felt like more than two days and now I need even more time to recover. It was totally worth being tired, but I'm going to try to go to sleep as early as possible tonight.
The drag part about last night was that I ran out of batteries for my camera about an hour into it. So, I got some fun photos from the Load of Craft event at the Picador, but none from the Santa Crawl itself. My friend Erik said he might try to get K. some pics tomorrow before he skips town, but if not, this is what we got.

I didn't get to the Picador until the tail end of the craft show, but I was just in time to witness my first craft death match. Apparently, it's a timed art competition. The one I saw, was drawing. Four people sat around and drew and then when time was up, their drawings were judged and the best one won a $125 gift certificate for a tattoo. All of this art was made to the soundtrack of Killed By Death playing metal records. There were different craft booths set-up all over the upstairs of the Picador. I didn't buy anything, but K. bought some cool earrings and some awesome cream cheese mints made by Libra. They came in very handy later in the evening after we drank beer and didn't want to ruin any potential making-out opportunities should they arise.

After about an hour or so, we headed over to the Dublin Underground to start the Santa Crawl. I think I'll end this here, and continue on tomorrow. I'm hoping I'll have some more photos of later in the night, because I know you'd all be so sad if you couldn't see just how scary I look when I'm drunk and screeching and wearing a Santa hat trimmed in fake leopard skin.

Though I Knew it Wouldn't Help Me None

Hey, so this is the closest to Saturday I've come to getting my Saturday Scavenger Hunt photos up. Of course, the drawback is that I wasn't smart enough to get a breathalyzer installed on my keyboard when I was sober, so now I'm blogging drunk. I know, stoooooopid.

I promise I'll make this quick and not talk about old made for TV movies like I normally do when I'm drunk. Even though, earlier today I was thinking about when my friend A. lived in the apartment across the hall from me and we made a point to hang out on Sunday nights and watch whichever bad one came out and how lucky it was for us that they made not one, but at least three movies about Joey Buttafucco and how we tried to catch every one so we could rate them. I think we decided that the Drew Barrymore one was the best. Isn't that how it went down, A.?

Okay, lucky for you I didn't talk about made for TV movies tonight, huh? Anyway, the word this week was light. Everyone else did great posts with every different meaning for the word light that anyone could imagine. So, for me, I'm using this photo that Stinky took of me when I was getting ready for the Santa Crawl this evening. I told her I wanted to highlight my boots, and I think she did a good job, don't you? Here is the light shining off of the bottom of my tall black boots.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Learn to Resist the Temptation

Here is a picture of Team America on our television set. I have no idea why Stinky took this, but I think it's funny that she did.

I didn't do much today, so I have even less to write about than I normally do. I've decided to totally lame-out and post a couple of emails or email exchanges. Don't you like how I use my friends for blog fodder?

The first one I got at work. I don't like to post fun fact emails, because usually I've already received a hundred with the same info on them, but this one was different. Ready? Okay! (cheerleader clap)

98% OF AMERICANS SAY "OH SHIT" BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM MINNESOTA OR IOWA AND THEY SAY, "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!"


The second email exchange happened between me and a friend of mine. I started it by writing him:

I don't mean to bug you, and if you don't feel like dealing with it, I totally understand. But last January, your brother installed some AVG anti-virus stuff in my computer, and for the first time today, I got something that it didn't delete. It was a Trojan Horse Downloader Obfuskated. I left clicked and it gave me the option to heal, which I did and it now says its been deleted. Is that all I need to do to make it go away, or should I do something else - like sacrifice a goat in the backyard or something?

Then he wrote back and told me how to delete the viruses in my virus vault. And ended his email like this:


you only have to do sacrifices in the summer months. it's too cold out
right now. the blood doesn't flow correctly.

My question to you gentle readers is this: How worried should I be that my friend obviously knows what he's talking about when it comes to performing backyard sacrifices?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life?

Here is Stinky in the snow next to the weird pod vine thing that has sort of become our mascot.

So, it snowed here. I'm sure a lot of you got it too. As I've already told you, I walk to work and back, but I still had to drive on the unplowed roads to get Stinky from basketball practice and one of her friends needed a ride too. Her friend's mom lives about three blocks from us, but her dad lives on the other side of the highway, and of course she was at her dad's house tonight. Here's what I don't get about some people's parents: If the driving conditions are bad, and your kid gets out of practice at 5:30, shouldn't you be going to pick her up instead of driving to Coralville for whatever reason? What would they have done if I hadn't agreed to take her? Let her sit in the junior high parking lot for a half hour in the snow and cold? After almost getting slid into by a car going too fast on the highway, I vowed that next time, I'd just drop the girl off at her mom's house, and make it her dad's responsibility to get her. I love the kid, she's sweet and polite and funny, but I get annoyed with her parents, as it's not the first time this has happened.

Worry not. My evening improved one hundred percent from my stressful drive around town. I made pasta and garlic bread for dinner and then I got to shovel the sidewalk. No one ever believes me, but I love to shovel snow. I know, I'm a freak. I also like to mow the lawn and wash my car if I can do it in my driveway with a bucket and some ripped up towels (even though I've been told this is against city rules and regulations). The reason for all this freakery, is because I love being outside, it makes me happy to do hard physical labor and it instantly looks better... And you know how fond I am of instant gratification.

Stinky did many chores in order to pay for the festive, silvery slippers I bought her last Friday. She vacuumed, cleaned her room, took out the trash and swept and mopped the floor, all while I lounged around my bedroom watching Flags of Our Fathers. Did I feel a little like the wicked step-mother? No, not really. My girls never seem to feel bad when I'm cleaning and they're on the computer or watching a movie either, so I guess we're even.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

You Got to Get it Underway

Here is some kind of building brace I felt the need to photograph.

I mentioned in a comment on My Boring Life blog that I keep forgetting it's almost Christmas. LauraB. asked me how I could possibly forget, what with being bombarded with all the stuff in stores and commercials and all. How I do it, is that I live in my own world. I see all the stuff when I go into stores, and think, "Oh yeah. It's that time again." But then I go on my way and start thinking about some other stupid shit and forget, until I accidentally walk into a wrapping paper display.

I know I've talked at you about my love/hate relationship with Christmas many times before. I've had so many crappy ones in the past, that the last few years I've tried to do as much of the parts I like as possible and forget the rest. I still do a family Christmas thing or two, but I keep the gift buying and holiday festivities to a minimum...Unless I think they're going to be really fun.

This weekend will be my first holiday celebrating of the season. Friday night I'll make some frosted sugar cookies. On Saturday my aunt and my sister will come up and we'll go to the matinee performance of Coadster's Winter show choir festivities. In the evening, there are a few fun events. One is the The Load of Craft sale at the Picador where my friend J. and this other guy Fodge (they call themselves Killed by Death) will spin their funky fresh serious metal grooves from 6-8. I've wanted to check them out forever, but they usually spin records on Tuesday nights and I think we all know that I'm too old to stay out late on a school night.

Later in the evening, I'll be meeting a bunch of chuckle heads for the the Santa Crawl. I've got my clothes all picked out, and my boots are made for walking and then maybe stumbling a little by the end of the evening.

On Sunday we won't rest like we should. Instead we'll go to a farm on Dane Road and cut down our tree. At three I'm meeting friends down at the Vine for the BIG GAME of the Steelers against The Patriots. I pretty much have to watch it for sure, and even then, I'm a little afraid that my mojo won't be enough.

Once the game is over, I'll go home and the girls and I will decorate our tree. I'm kind of excited about coming home for the next couple of weeks and having our house smell so strongly of pine. I still need to do the tiny little bit of shopping I actually do for people, and so I'm taking a half day of vacation on the Friday before Christmas so the girls and I can go see a movie and finish anything that didn't get done beforehand.

Cookies, beer, football, RAWK! and movies - see what I mean? None of that should really be too bad, and some of it will probably actually be fun. Bring it on, bitches.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

For Me to Stay Here I've Got to be Me

Here is another photo from Coadster. This one is of our iced over alley.

Sometimes I love my town. Sure, I'll probably never meet a guy I can date here, but everything else is pretty good. So, why stress-out about the one thing I can't have, when there are so many other great things I can have? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you'll also read plenty of "I hate Iowa City" posts from me, but tonight I'm have a little fling with my town. Ah, hell. Let's just count some ways, okay?

First - I've decided for sure to go see Dinosaur Jr play next Tuesday night at the Picador. I messaged my friend J. about it, because he works there, and he told me it was an early show, so it should be done by eleven. Even I'm not so lame that I can't make it to an early show on a school night, right? Plus, it only takes me less than ten minutes to get home from there.

Second - I work almost downtown, so I was able to go kidnap my friend A. from her job at 126 for a half an hour right after I was released from the agony of my job. We went into the Deadwood and had a Pepsi. It was angry hour there and beer was really cheap, but I had promised Coadster I'd go to the rec building and run with her. Sadly, I'm not coordinated enough to run without tripping when I'm sober, let alone after a beer or two.

Third - While A. and I were at the Deadwood, we were talking about a fairly famous folksinger and his also fairly famous folksinger wife who just recently moved from their acreage outside of Fairfield into A.'s neighborhood. She was talking about their daughter who they adopted from Russia and has a fairly distinctive name, when a guy approached our table. I had my back to him, so I couldn't see who he was until he spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry. I was over there playing Sudoku, and I overheard you talking about G.B. and his daughter. They're actually friends of mine..."

"Oh, that's cool. I really like them too," My friend A. said. I recognized the guy. He lives kind of by my friend K. and he's a friend of this guy I know named B.C., so we both said hi and I introduced him to A. He asked if he could join us and so we all talked for a while, before Coadster called and informed me that I was really late and needed to get going. I both love it and hate it that in this town anyone sitting near you, knows someone you're talking about. But I only love it and don't hate it, that that person will have no qualms about introducing him/herself, and if they sit down with you, will almost always be entertaining in some way.

Fourth - Coadster and I finally made it to the rec building. It's an awesome 200 meter track with indoor tennis courts in the center, and best of all, it's completely free and open to the public. Tonight they were having indoor youth soccer practice, so there were plenty of things to watch while we were running. Because I was a little delinquent earlier in the evening, I really only had time to run a few miles, but my iPod was feeling all groovy and playing a lot of sixties music. I heard "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys, "Go Where You Wanna Go" by the Mamas and the Papas, "If you Want Me to Stay", by the Chili Peppers (it's a cover of a Sly and the Family Stone song, so it totally counts as groovy) and "Police and Thieves" by The Clash - which is not so sixties at all, but a song I like a whole, whole lot.

So, people always want to talk shit about Iowa. I agree that the weather sucks. It's crazy cold in the Winter and stoooopidly hot and humid in the Summer and usually the weather is the most exciting thing going on here, but I can work around all that and love everything else... At least I can tonight.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Style is Surely Our Own Thing

Here is a photo of some hanging speakers.

Hey, has anyone noticed that they are getting tons of google image searches that are leading people to their blogs, or is that just me? I used to get one every few months, now I'm getting like ten or so a day, all from different ISP addresses. Has some new search thing opened up recently?

Lawdy-lawd, how fast the pace gets after one whole day of doing nothing. I'll probably be paying for my get out of jail free card day for the next week or two. Sunday I did all my chores for the weekend and then went to my friend James's house to watch the Steelers win again.

Tonight is supposed to be my night to myself, but my ex needs new tires on his car and can't drive over ice. Plus, the girls needed new stuff for all their activities and my ex prefers not to contribute financially. So, I spent my "me time" taking the girls to different stores and bleeding money all over the mall. Stinky starts basketball on Wednesday and we got her a pair of high tops that even I think are cool They are Adidas and they have this thing where you can switch out the stripes with about twenty different colors. Awesome, huh?

I also ran into my favorite neighbor B. who I haven't seen in forever. She used to work at 126, where I could go hang out and drink wine on her nights there and she lived kind of across the street from me and I could just walk over and pester her entire family. Now she and her twin own a house painting business and she moved further down the street. How lame is it of me that I haven't walked that block over to see her new house since June? Really lame, that's how.

Tomorrow night, I plan on going to the rec building to run. I purposely took a few days off from running when I was so sick, and now the sidewalks are all iced over and I can't safely run on them in the dark without breaking something. So, Coadster and I will go run on the indoor university track. Luckily, Coadster doesn't like running with the iPod, so I don't even have to feel selfish when I hog it all to myself. I love it when my daughters make me look like a better person than I really am.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

You're Closing the Door, You Leave the World Behind

Hey, check me out. I'm only one day late for posting my Saturday scavenger hunt photos. I even did it on purpose this week. I wanted to write that "failed dating" post on a Saturday night when blog traffic tends to be lower. It felt safer somehow that way.

This week's word was cold. I'm also putting up pictures by our guest photographer Coadster. She took these during the quaint little ice storm we had yesterday. Let me just tell you again for the millionth time that I'm not the biggest fan of the cold. I didn't see snow for the first time until I was 10. On TV it looked so fun, but I had no idea that in real life, being cold can not only be uncomfortable, it can be painful. When I lived with my aunt and uncle, they made us finish building a barn in a snow storm and I got my first frostbite on my toes and the place on my forearm where my jacket and gloves failed to meet. Since then I've also been frost bit (bit by frost?) on my ears a few years ago when I rode my bike to work on a twenty below zero day and my hat slipped up a little. The five minutes it took for me to safely pull off the street and fix it, was long enough to cause lovely gray lumps to appear on the tips of both my ears. How sexy is that?

Because I try to be at least a little half-full, I'll tell you the thing I do like about the cold. I like to hibernate. If the weather's nice, I'll keep going and going and running and trying to get shit done, until I pass-out from exhaustion. The cold keeps me inside and sedentary. Luckily, we didn't lose power at our house (although they did other places in town) and I gave myself a get out of jail free card. I did almost nothing all day but play video games and watch movies. We ordered pizza, so I didn't even cook. It was wonderful, and the best thing was, I had an excuse.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

I'm Tryin', I'm Tryin', I'm Tryin' and I'll Try

After a week, my memory of the boy is getting a little hazy.

Sooo, I'll just tell it like it is. Mr. Awesome never called me. Like I said before, I'm not all that surprised. I knew he had way too much going on already. He's got full custody of his son and he works two jobs on top of that. I have a feeling it was one of those things where last Saturday, when his boy was at his mom's house and he'd had a few drinks, it all seemed doable, but by the next day when he was probably a little hung-over, picking-up his son and eating that cold, hard reality sandwich, it didn't. I totally understand it, I have that same dilemma with dating too. It would be great, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and then even after you work so hard at it, sometimes it doesn't work out and blah and blah and blah. It's hard to know if it's really going to be worth it in the end.

I would like to believe at some point I'll meet someone and it will be worth it, but there seems to be a lot of sifting and sorting required to get there. You know? I've had a lot of people tell me that once I stop looking, then I'll meet my guy. I'm here to tell you, that it's a total load of crap. I gave up and then went four years without dating. I only picked it up again when I decided to give it another shot and actually made an effort.

My first time back in the ring wasn't all that great of an experience. So, all I can do is try to learn from that. And what I learned is not to push it. If someone tells me or shows me that they may not want the same things I want, I need to drop it - even if they ask me to be patient and wait for them to get there. The reality is, that a person either wants you and is willing to work on shit, or he/she doesn't.

Some people had advised me to call Mr Awesome. I have his number, because he called me on Saturday night the minute I got into my car to leave and then again an hour down the road on my way home. But I'm taking my knowledge from this Summer and putting it to use. If he was interested and wanted to work on things, he'd call me and get it going. Since it's been a week, and according to whatever K. looked-up on the web, (an invaluable source of information about relationships and emotions) that means he'll probably never call, I'm letting it go.

At this point, I just have to look at it as a positive thing. During those four years that I didn't date, it wasn't like I never got hit on or asked out, or whatever. It was more that I couldn't find a guy I was interested in and I wasn't willing to settle. Some of the guys I met, had a few things I liked, but then about fifty other red flags and a lot of them were like this other guy I met recently here in Iowa City. The first thing he told me was that he considered himself an intellectual (gross) and then he said he was an alcoholic (strike two) and finally he admitted that he had a trust fund. So, basically he could have been a little more efficient with his words by just approaching me and saying, "Hi. I'm an Iowa City cliche'" and I would have just assumed all the rest.

As I mentioned in my first post about him, Mr. Awesome was the first guy I had met in many, many years who met all the important criteria for me - he was open, and funny as hell and not afraid to admit he had feelings and of course, he was also really sexy. He kept asking me, "How could I have lived my whole life and not met you?" and he was like that for me too. So, I guess now I don't have to find out all the things that wouldn't have worked between us. He'll always be Mr. Awesome for me. And I still remain hopeful that there's at least one other guy just like Mr. Awesome, who will actually call me when I give him my number.