Wednesday, March 07, 2007

This is Your Night, Baby You've Got to be There

Here is a picture of a steamy tunnel in the snow. At least there isn't a train going through it.

Last year my neighbor/friend B. quit her job waiting tables at 126 and started working for Tait's Natural Foods, the new place downtown that didn't last very long. After about a month, B. decided she didn't want to be the cheese girl in town, so she quit that to begin her own house painting business, which she loves and is amazing at. I was also in my mid-thirties when I stopped working food service jobs, and the transition to a world where you actually have to work at maintaining a social life, can be awkward. Because of that, B. called me the other night to see if I wanted to join her and some others in a "ladies night" outing at 126. (we wouldn't be outing ladies so much, as going out with ladies in a purely platonic sense) I told her I thought I might, and I wasn't lying. I really thought I might.

At different times during the day today, I'd remember that I said I may go out, and I was okay with it. Even by the end of the day, when I was walking home from work, I thought, "You know, I might just join those ladies, tonight."

Then I went running and got a huge runner's high and came back all sweaty and was rocking my frizz halo. My house was warm and I had tostadas to eat and some killer guacamole I had just made. I also thought seriously about what going out with real live ladies might be like. It would be so much different than drinking PBR with my raucous girlfriends. These ladies were all moms from B.'s daughter's club swim team, so they probably had some money and talked about their homes in terms of square footage, and went on real vacations and had advanced degrees and could possibly be offended by dildo or blow job jokes. In fact, I may have almost nothing in common with actual ladies.

So, I stayed home. I know. Shut-up. I lamed-out, but I was so close to going out. For sure, the next time someone I know asks me to hang-out with them, I will totally go...At least, I'm pretty sure. I would seriously think about it, anyway.


Not-faint-hearted said...

Oh come on! Even "the ladies" have to enjoy a good dildo joke! ;)

Bice said...

I think you're a lady. At least you're more of a lady than I am. :)

Margaret said...

although i can't imagine not enjoying a good blow-job joke, the not wanting to do ladies night, i get that completely

Stepping Over the Junk said...

that happens to me ALOT! Tostadas waiting at home....ME TOO! YUM. But generally, if I manage to get out, I am usually glad I did. But then, when I stay home, I am usually glad I did too. Heh.

EEK said...

I think people with advanced degrees still enjoy dildo and blow job jokes. If not, that's going to be one of my cons when I make my pros/cons list to help me decide whether or not I really want to go back to get my MBA.

Anytime someone even mentions square-footage, I feel an inexplicable urge to punch them in the face. You should go next time. It's always a chore to go out, but 99% of the time it ends up being fun. That's a mathematical fact.

Les Quinn said...

Blow job??? I've never heard that expression. What does it mean?

Churlita said...

Not Faint Hearted,

You'd think, but I've tried in different company, and the results haven't always been great.


I have always prided myself on being more of a lady than Bice.


Yeah, it probably would have been just fine, I just wasn't into leaving my house, so I gave myself plenty of excuses.


I usually have fun when I go out to. It's just the thought of leaving my house when it's still cold out, and all the things that won't get done if I'm not home to do them, that make it tougher.


I know plenty of people with advanced degrees who love a good blow job joke. I was just imagining all the things that would make me insecure about people to keep myself home, and those who have more money and a better formal education, definitely make me insecure.

Les Quinn,

Are you serious? What's the equivalent of "giving head" in Australia?

Remiman said...

That's too bad. I'm sure those ladies would have had a much better time if you were there.
Blow job? isn't that when your tire explodes and you stuff a dildo in the gaping wound so you can get home?

Les said...

Agh! Its called "Sucking the Sav" here.

Churlita said...


I'm sure you're right. I've never tried using a dildo to fix my blown-out tire before. I'll have to start bringing one along on trips, just in case.


Sucking the Sav, eh? That is so much more fun to say than blow job.

Les said...

I like to call it "Yodelling at the One Eyed Trouser Snake" Thats fun too LOL

Killer said...

You will get a lot of strange google hits now after this post.

Churlita said...


I've never heard that one before.


I've already had a lot of strange google hits, since I wrote that post on euphemisms for the vagina.