I took this last Fall. It is dangerously close to where I work.On Friday I was doing my own bit to help increase morale in my office, by letting everyone laugh at my expense. It seems if you tell one person at my workplace something, like, oh say, that you are going on a date for the first time in forever, the whole office finds out and gets to make fun of you. The date razzing seemed to be calming down by the afternoon, until the ex-nun decided to take it back out and beat it some more.
Ex-Nun: Hey, Churlita. Are you still going on your date on Saturday night?
Me: As far as I know.
Ex-Nun: Is your futon fixed yet?
Me: No. I guess it takes longer when they're fixing it for free.
Ex-Nun: You might want to go in there and get a loaner for this weekend. And tell them not to bother taking the plastic cover off of it, if you know what I mean...
Me: You know, I always wondered why you got kicked out of the convent, but now I finally get it.
Ex-Nun: They didn't kick me out. I was the one who left them.
Me: Oh, okay. Whatever you say.
17 comments:
Churlita,
One of the nurses in the recovery unit where I work is an EX-nun. Her favorite and most frequently used word is fuck, She's my age and seems she's trying to make up for lost time. ;-)
rel
I am in hysterics, not only over this post but remiman's comment!! I recently bought a toy gun that shoots nuns. (I will need to post about it)
fornicating on a plastic wrapped loaner mattress sounds awfully dirty for an ex nun
Wow...she has cajones for an ex-nun. Wait...that might be why she was kicked out. Should nuns have cajones?
Isn't it funny, how we want our nuns to know nothing? I tried recommending this book about 15th (maybe 16th) century nuns in Venice at a party and of course EVERYONE made fun of me, but it was honestly, really good and would clear up a lot of the nun mystery.
My 2nd ex-wife was an ex-nun. Believe me when I say those b*tches are relentless. You probably don't want to mess with her to much or she might burn down your house and kill your dog by hitting it over the head repeatedly with a frying pan...
I like my Ex-nuns a little on the nasty side.
I bought a toy that shoots cows from the same company that made Stepping's toy.
The gun that propels toy plastic cows is called a Cattle-pult.
The one that propels nuns is called a Nun-chuck.
I was here, Churlita. I totally cannot compete with any of these comments. Yes, I know it's not a competition, but still...
Hey, I found you through DMarks! Nice blog! I never thought of making a fool of myself in front of my coworkers as an opportunity to boost morale! That's awesome! If that's the case, then I'm due for a promotion. Or at least a little raise.
First, congrats on a date well done. I meant to come over and check but things were crazy busy.
Second, speaking as a veteran of Catholic schools/penitentiaries, nuns are the toughest people in the Church. If Gitmo was run by nuns, all those guys would have confessed within hours.
Aparently workmates are only there for the purpose of giving you shit.
Me and my "work wife" were both single and hanging out together at a company function a couple of years ago. We were doing something really raunchy (shooting pool) when all the old ladies started staring and laughing and pointing at us. We decided to give them something to share with the rest of the office so we could see how fast it would get back. 1.5 days...
Enjoy the moment, mess back with them.
PS, I like your blog. I am linking you....
You are welcome to stop over anytime.
But ... DID you need the use of a futon?
Rel,
I'm glad she's found a way to get the years back.
Stepping,
I would love to read that post. I also want to know where you got that gun. My brother would love it.
Margaret,
Exactly. I felt a little bile rise in the back of my throat after she said it.
Rachel,
As far as I know, nuns should definitely NOT have cajones.
Booda Baby,
Were there things we wouldn't want to know about nuns? Things that might disillusion us?
Q,
I'm sure you wouldn't write it in my comments if it weren't true, but man, you've led a colorful life.
Bice,
I've heard that about you.
CAttle-pult and Nun-chucks are awesome names.
Fringes,
It's enough knowing you were here.
Tara,
Thanks for stopping by. We have the same name. I think you should go talk to your boss about that promotion.
Brando,
Thanks for the congratulations.
And as for nuns, I've always been a little afraid of them.
Evil_E,
Good for you for giving your co-workers something to talk about.
I've meant to link you too, but I've been a little (ahem) busy lately. I'll try later in the week.
Malnatured Snay,
You know I like you guys and all, but not enough to tell you all my bidness.
I like ex-nuns, I think.
Your post title is also from my all-time favorite Talking Heads song, ever!
Mark,
I've always liked it too. The melody sounds so happy, but the words are kind of sad. I love the contrast.
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