What a surprise, I'm showing another ice storm photo. My, but how the icy branches are both beautiful and dangerous all at the same time.So, you know how it was all the way up in the thirties today, and there was just the littlest, tiniest, hint of Spring in the air? Well, it's making me rethink the whole hibernation thing I've been successfully working the last few months. Who knows? I might actually go outside other than to walk to work or go running. I know, it sounds a little scary, so I've prepared a list of things that could possibly happen, if I went out and tried to socialize. I'm not promising anything, mind you, I'm just entertaining the possibility.
1. I would have to leave my house.
2. I could have conversations with other men than I already know from work and they might sound so much different than this:Guy at Work: Hey, pull my finger.
Me: Knock it off, loser. I'm not falling for that one again.
Guy at Work: Well, you can just bite me then.
Me: Ew. No. Gross.
Guy at Work: I don't blame you. I wouldn't bite me either.
I could also talk to men other than the ones I see out walking their dogs, and we might have different interactions than this:
Dog Walker Guy: (shortening his dog's leash) Boy, I bet it's not much fun running on all this ice, is it?
Me: Yeah. it's pretty tricky today
Both of Us: (Give each other a fake, polite laugh and move on.)
3. I might not have any idea what to say to a guy who doesn't ask me to either pull his finger or talk about treacherous sidewalks.
4. I would no longer have an excuse to wear jeans, the first thermal I pulled out of the hamper, and big man boots, or my winter running gear.
5. I may not know what else to wear.
6. There is a good possiblity that I will drink two beers and get all screechy, and talk too fast and too loud and forget to finish sentences, because I am so excited at the prospect of communicating with my actual peers, instead of thirteen year old girls or disgruntled cubicle dwellers, a generation older than me.
7. I might also have to find new friends - ones who are ignorant of my tendency for #5.
8. It could actually be just fine.
9. It could also suck, and send me running back to my lair for six more weeks.
13 comments:
Leaving the house carries lots of risks. Maybe you should stay inside just a little bit longer.
Churlita,
Socializing after a prolonged hiatus is just like riding a bike! ;-)
rel
souds like a fantastic adveture! perhaps you could beat all the men to the punch, asking that they pull your finger ad the, rather tha fart, you could screech ouwww! that hurt you f******* freak!
I always say the first stupid thing that comes to mind.
That could be why I am still single.
Go! Get out there! Live for the rest of us! Freak those Iowans out a bit. 'sgood for 'em.
BTW it's snowing again in Mpls. They promise 40's later in the week, but if I have to shovel one more time...
I have no social skills. It doesn't stop me from inflicting myself on the general public.
Churly,
Your urban upbringing is showing.
You should learn how to speak (or write) correctly...
If you are saying, "My, but how the icy branches are both beautiful and dangerous all at the same time." you must precede the statement with an declarative exclamation such as "Lordy" and wrap it up with a softening ender like "mmm-mmmmmmmm".
Do try harder in the future...
T.
It's win, win. If it's fun -- you'll have made new friends. If it totally sucks -- you're really going to start appreciating the awesomeness of your lair afterwards.
No. 6 sounds irresistible - not so good if you had to do no. 4, too. In fact, big man boots in concert with no. 6. oh my god. THAT's irresistible. I can't believe you're resisting.
Sounds way too risky. I'd just wait for spring when you can talk about...um...how glad you are that the ice melted.
I vote for #8! Oh, we weren't voting?
Oh, well, always the eternal optimist.
It's like 60 degrees down here this week, I'm sorry we can't just trade weather. The ice storm would probably suit my mood a little better.
Killer,
I heard that.
Rel,
I would be so much happier riding a bike, than socializing.
Margaret,
I'll have to try that. I bet guys just dig it when chicks get all psycho on them.
Rachel,
You and I should hang out. Then our outbursts will seem completely normal.
Not Faint hearted,
I'm sorry to hear it. I've made a career out of freaking Iowans out.
Mist1,
Yeah, but you can get away with it, because you're younger and cuter than me.
Bro_in_law,
Shit. Okay, I'll work on it. So, you start with, "Lordy", huh?
Eek,
You're right. I need to think of things more positively.
Joe,
It's funny that all the women tell me to go out, and most of the men tell me to stay in. Do the men know something that the women don't?
Lynnster,
I would totally do #8, if you could send me some 60 degree weather.
Booda Baby,
It's easy to say that #6 sounds irresistable, until you've experienced it. You might be singing a different tune then.
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