Thursday, March 22, 2007

I Better Be Quiet Now

So, now that it's been warm for a couple of days, the snowy pics look kind of pretty again, don't they?

Ah, let's see. How do I say this without sounding like a total, scary dweeb? I have a date on Saturday night. I haven't dated in ...Well, a very long time. This is all the information I'm going to give you about it too. Since he reads my blog, and the little bit I've written is already too embarrassing, this is going to be one of those, "if I tell you any more, I'm going to have to kill you" situations. Suffice it to say, I'm more than a little nervous.

You know how you guys are all so nice and concerned and you do and do and do for me? Well, I appreciate it and all, but now I'm asking you to do a little more. It's been so long, that I'm pretty clueless as to how this whole dating thing works, and I thought maybe you who do it more often, or at all, could give me some pointers in the comments. Feel free to assume I'm a little "special" in this arena and please write slowly and use the smallest words possible.

Here are a few things I know I'm going to need to work on: I'm not a big drinker, so I shouldn't have more than two beers, (no matter how many I think I need) I have to remember that chronic, nervous laughter is not even a little bit sexy, and no matter how hard it might seem, I need to keep reminding myself to use my inside voice. (loud Ottumwa girl talk should be avoided at any cost)

Okay, I'll leave the rest up to you all, while I go breathe into a bag for the next day or two.


Les said...

First for coffee near a cinema and go see a movie...
get there a bit late so you have to go straight into the movie...You'll be used to being with him by the end of the film no nerves...A funny movie will work best.
then have a couple of beers afterwards....

Not-faint-hearted said...

If he reads your blog he already knows you enough to know your a loud Ottumwa girl, doesn't he?

Be yourself.

{disclaimer: consider the source of this advice. might want to check my recent post...not to pimp my blog on your comments or anything....}

Oh! and this is really important! Relax and enjoy the buzz (of the date, not the beers.)

Liz said...

Dates are nothing more than two people hanging out. If it ends in a smooch, more the better. If it's a one time event, then at least your curiosity about him being datable is satisfied. He's asking you out because of your trampish exterior, isn't he? (That is in refrence to a comment YOU left on my blog! I don't think you look trampish at all!)

Have fun and keep us POSTed.

Mr Atrocity said...

My my, well spring is indeed in the air.

If you're a loud Ottumwa girl, then be a loud Ottumwa girl. Who wants to date a shy, retiring delicate flower anyway? Would you want to date someone who did?

Have a blast.

Margaret said...

I'll be the first to admit that it may not be working for me so well, but I bought this book called "The Art of Seduction", and it has listed the different types of seductresses, and I've decided to be "The Natural" since it's easiest, where I talk as loud as I please and squelch the nervous laughter with as many beers as I think I need, this way I have fun, even if my date doesn't.... are you going to be able to give us the post game wrap-up with him reading your blog?

Matt said...

Is he free and clear single?

When you engage in conversation and he doesn't seem to listen or ask you about yourself and blathers non-stop about himself, RED FLAG.

If he opens doors for you and pays for movie and drinks but makes a big production out of paying, RED FLAG.

If he has to breath into a tube attached to his steering wheel before starting his car, RED FLAG.

If you're talking and he answers his cell phone, not good. If he has to leave the table to talk, uhm not good at all.

Finally, see how he treats any service staff you encounter. Ticket sellers, counter staff, wait staff. If he's a dick. Cut the night short.

booda baby said...

What are you nervous about? You, who can find the interesting and fun in stuff that doesn't even register on most people's radar - you're set. (But seriously. What DO people get nervous about?)

ANYWAY. I'd love to just say: be yourself, but I'm thinking you're pretty multi-faceted, with all sorts of angles and surfaces, so I imagine it's kind of hard to pick the 'yourself' to be.

The cool thing about you is that whatever you are, at least on a blog, is pretty damned unusual, exquisitely real and kind of enchanting because of it. You don't have to prove any of that on a date; it's just ... you.

Then again, I think I might have been overly skilled at dating/tricking men in to falling in want with me, but it's really because no matter what they were, I was taught to make them feel comfortable (because a lot of times, men aren't), make them feel like someone (me) was actually listening to what they cared about/what they were. blah blah blah.

Please oh please just don't give up any of your head to wonder if he likes you/approves of you. You've got no control at all of that.

Wow. that was kind of fun.

Lynnster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lynnster said...

OK let me try this again...

Well, since I haven't been in the real honest to god dating pool in about a decade and my current has not only known me for nearly 20 years but once lived with me... and my track record in general has been for sh*t... I'm probably the last person you need to listen to.

But I think NFH's advice of "be yourself" is the best. And try to relax... you will do just FINE. I know it.

Good luck, and have fun and have a good time!

(PS I'll be in Chicago this weekend and have never been... exciting!)

bice said...

This will show you how much I care about you... I'm offering you none of my patented sarcastic ad-bice.

If that doesn't say I love Churlita and want her date to be a success I don't know what does. :)

Churlita said...


Thanks. I think I'd be more nervous if I went to a movie, and couldn't talk first. We've decided to go eat first and figure it out from there.

Not Faint Hearted,

I've known him for a while, so even without reading my blog, he's aleady suffered through the Churlita experience several times and knows too well the Ottumwa girl. I will get to your blog for sure today.


Actually, I asked him out because of my trampish exterior.

Mr Atrocity,

You're right. And he's from SE Iowa, so I bet he's dated a loud girl once or twice in his life before.


I think I'd have no choice but to be "a natural" too. I'm not sure about a wrap-up. I wouldn't do anything like that without his consent.


I believe he is. Since I didn't give you any info about him at all, I wasn't able to tell you that I've known him for a while and I wouldn't date him if I didn't know he was a stand-up guy. I'm understandbly cautious and picky when it comes to men, so I have to only date guys I know can trust...and somkin' hot too, of course.

Booda BAby,

I'm mostly nervous because I'm a spazz in general and it's been sooo long since I've dated. I think he's met every one of my personalities and has still agreed to hang-out - that's how nice he is.


He's super fun, so I plan on having a blast.

have fun in Chicago. I bet you love it. I can't wait to hear all about it.


Wow. You must really care about me. Thanks.

fringes said...

I like Matt's red flags. Be yourself. I like that piece of advice, too.

Of course, what do I know? I'd never date someone who reads my blog.

(I crack myself up.)

Q said...

I know what you shouldn't do and that is take pictures of your date with your camera phone. They will inform you that it is a bit creepy and ask that you stop. If you don't stop your date will probably end with a big scene in the middle of a nice quiet restaurant and with a glass of chardonnay in your face. Oh and definitely don't post the pictures that you took up on a website and profess your love.

Hope that helps a little. I am so sorry Fringes...

Churlita said...


Whew. Thank god you didn't hook up with anyone who read your blog or has his own blog or commented right after you or anything.


At least Fringes didn't dump you after that. So, no pictures of him with a camera phone, and no posting any photos on the internet? Check. How about video? Am I allowed to take video and put it up on Utube? You didn't say anthing about that.

fringes said...

I say go for it with the YouTube post. Q thought it was a turn-on even though he got arrested shortly thereafter. Your date should love it.

Evil-E said...

I wish I could help....on this subject I am drawing a blank. I have been on a dating "sebatical" for a few years.

a said...

I suggest pick up a six pack about 3 hours before you are to meet - maybe find someone with prescription anti-anxiety meds - get some show choir girls to help with hair and makeup - It could be a stunning eve -
have fun.

Churlita said...


Being turned-on is totally worth getting arrested for, right?


I like using the term sabbatical for a dry dating spell. I'm totally stealing that from you.


Ha ha. That's it. you need to write your own "rules" book. I would buy it for sure.

Remiman said...

I haven't dated in 40 Years.

You have great instincts....don't dull them.

michelle said...

Woohoo! Very cool. I have no advice because I'm old and married and everyone knows that after you get married there are never any more dates! Just be yourself and if I were a guy I'd love loud voices and tonnes of nervous laughter. You're already way more interesting than half the people in the world and I only read your blog.

Have fun!

Churlita said...


You're married to the perfect woman. You'll never have to date again.


Thanks so much. That's so nice of you to say.