The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Here is my sister and myself climbing around rocks in Tonto National Forest when we were kids.

Sooooo, no more word on how the FHA inspection/appraisal went yet. I know I say this all the time, but I hate not knowing a thing one way or the other. I do NOT need any room to create scenarios in my head. From an early age I've been way too familiar with the worst case scenario, so when I'm not sure, that's the first place I go. As a way to stop doing that, I thought I might just take my mind off of it all, by doing a little writing exercise. I decided I'd write about the first topic I read about on a blog today and that happened to be Tara at Eclectic Spaghetti where she talked about snakes.

It's not something I think a lot about anymore, but I grew up in Arizona where I often came in contact with poisonous creatures. One of my first memories was with my family being in the Superstition Mountains. My dad was holding me, so I had to be 4 or under, if he was still around. All I really recall was being terrified of snakes and not letting him put me down. He was really annoyed and tried to calm me down, but when that didn't work, he still held me and didn't make me walk around where the rattlesnakes could get at me.

Once when I was around 9, a rattlesnake wandered (or more accurately, slithered) onto our street. It must have been after work, because all the dads were home. All it took was for the kids to go home and report the snake finding, and suddenly there were 5 or 6 dads out on the street with bats, sticks and one even had a hammer. They wailed on that poor snake for what seemed like hours. It couldn't have still been alive, but from what my mom tried to explain to me, it was still moving because its nerves were somehow still functioning. It was so horrible and brutal, but none of us kids could stop watching it.

When I was 19, I dropped out of college and moved to California to do environmental work. Mostly, I worked on the Salmon Restoration Project, but once in a while we'd get pulled to do wildland firefighting or cut fire lines to prevent said fires. One day we were cutting fire lines in a park that was closed due to a rattlesnake infestation. We were told to be very careful and stay on trails and make sure we traveled in packs so we could all keep an eye and ear out for snakes.

I know this is going to shock the hell out of all of you, but I have a bit of an impetuous nature. Weird. A group of us girls were heading to a new site, and I didn't really feel like taking a trail that wound all around a hill, when I could just run up it that much faster. So, as I bounded up the hill, all the girls in my group started screaming. Like an idiot, I stopped and turned around to see what all the hubub was about. I looked down to see that I had just jumped over a nest of baby rattlesnakes. Baby rattlesnake are that much more dangerous than adult rattlesnakes, because they haven't learned how to control their venom yet. When they bite you, they give everything they have. I was inches away from the nest and very carefully continued up the hill. I never left my group or the trail for the rest of our job there. Wouldn't it be cool if I didn't always have to learn the hard way?

In Your Satin Tights, Fighting for Your Rights

Here are two of my Halloween costumes of yore. Last year I made a last minute decision to go out on Halloween and was stuck with the default girl Halloween costume - the witch.

Today I called the lender to ask about the FHA inspection/appraisal. He said it did happen on Monday, but it usually took a couple of days to get the info. Because he's still kissing my ass for screwing things up last week, he told me he'd call the guy and see if he could get some basic info right away. Sadly, the guy didn't answer his phone. The lender guy said that he'd let me know what was going on as soon as the guy got back to him. Needless to say, I'll call him again on Wednesday if he doesn't call me first.

The realtors told me they thought the loan was supposed to be okay'ed by October 30th. God, I hope so. I just want to know one way or the other so I can deal with it. I guess Halloween could be interesting. I'll either be sad that I didn't get what I wanted or super excited and ready to celebrate.

Two years ago I went as a zombie Catholic school girl. unfortunately, I couldn't find the picture that showed my awesome slit throat scar. Damn.

Which leads me to my next thing - my Halloween costume. My friend K. keeps telling me I should go as a superhero. My excuse the last few years is that I would only do it if I were in excellent shape. This year I finally feel like I could get away with wearing tights with superhero undies over them...Well, maybe if I wore a REALLY long cape anyway. I'm kicking around the idea of being Wonder Woman and making the special bracelets and everything. I just don't know where the hell I'll find an invisible jet, is all. My lame-out option is a flapper - which is kind of the other default girl Halloween costume. It looks like even my Halloween costume will depend on whether I get that house. I doubt I'll want to be a morose Wonder Woman. Wait. Does anyone know if Wonder Woman had a Goth twin sister at all?

These Two Sides of My Brain Need to Have a Meeting

Here is a creepy face. Mwuaahahaha!

Hey, you know what? I forgot to tell you about the road race Coadster and I did on Sunday. It was a lot of fun. I got to talk to people I haven't seen in a while. Coadster kind of faded in the middle of the run. I'm not sure what happened, but she just really slowed down. I told her I'd keep her pace and then she picked up again at the end. It felt really good. I hadn't raced in years and years, and I forgot how much I loved it. I might start doing them on a more regular basis. Some of the girls on Coadster's cross-country team hung out with us at the starting line and were giving me the names of races coming up in the near future. Who knows? If I like the triathlon, I might start doing those on a regular basis too. I suppose all I need are more obsessions, huh?

After we got done running, Coadster and I walked down the street by the finish line and cheered on all of the people we knew coming in. That was probably the most fun. I'm such a big cheese ball about that kind of thing.

So, tonight the girls had a choir concert. It was very nice and I sat with some of my neighbors who I like a lot and don't see very often even though we live a block away from each other. I should start being better about hanging out with my neighbors right now... Especially since they may not be my neighbors for much longer.

Speaking of that. I haven't heard much word on the house stuff. The realtors changed the language in the remedy request. The lender said he didn't think the FHA people would like the idea of us needing a remedy to the house, since they want it all up to code before I move in. So, we just added the money on to the closing costs that they were going to cover. The lender told me he thought that the FHA appraiser/inspector was going to check out the house today, so I was on pins and needles all day at work. I never heard, so I think I'll call him tomorrow to see what went down. I'll let you know, as soon as I find out.

I Bet You Got It All Planned Right

My friend C. was in town from Chicago.

Wow. What a crazy weekend...But good, for the most part. On Friday afternoon, Coadster called me to say she wasn't really into going to the football game and wondered if I was going to be home, because she wanted to hang out and watch movies with me. Awesome. That's all I needed to hear. I never take it for granted when my 17 year old wants to hang out with me.

We watched Adventureland. It takes place in 1987, so Coadster kept asking me if people talked like that back then or listened to that kind of music or whatever. I wasn't always all that helpful. I was in college in 1987, so my memory of that year is a little hazy.

G. and fun kids from the conference.

Saturday was almost as blurry as 1987 is for me. After we got back from Ottumwa, I dropped Coadster off at her babysitting gig and Stinky off at her friend's house. I stopped at the cookout for a minute. The guy I took as my date to my friend's R and E.'s wedding last year was in town for the bike ride and cookout, and I hadn't seen him in forever. Of course, I was there for about a half hour before G. called and a woman, C. who was in town for the weekend called me right after that. So, I didn't get to talk to him for very long, but it was nice to catch up a little.

I picked up G. and D. and headed for the Dublin. There was a conference in town for a particular academic area of interest, and all the people from it came down to the bar. Some of them were playing pool and one of the girls looked really familiar. I couldn't quite place her, so I didn't say anything, but then G. came up to me and said, "Hey, that girl M. says she works with you." Doh! I felt so rude. I went right over and apologized to her for not saying hi, but she was super cool about it. One of the guys she was with started talking to me. He was also with his "it's complicated" girlfriend (his words). He talked about what he did and where he was from and asked me where I was from. I never know how to answer that, so I said I went to high school in Ottumwa.

"Oh, do you know our friend, S? She's from Ottumwa..."

"Um. I doubt it. She's probably a lot younger than me."

"No. She's in her late 20's," he said. I'm sure to him, that seemed really old.

"Yes, well. I'm much older than that."

"How about 'some guys name I can't remember'? He's like 36..." I assured him I was even older than that. He then started talking about his relationship with his girl in intimate detail, very loudly and right in front of her.

"I'm not sure you want to go into all that detail with someone you don't even know..." I said.

"No. You're exactly who I want to tell all this to. Since I don't know you, it's perfect...And you're wise."

"I wouldn't go assuming I'm wise, just because I'm old. I make more mistakes than anyone." (my new mantra)

"Are you married?" He asked.

"Nope. I'm divorced. See what I mean? Another mistake."

"I don't care. I want to talk to you about it anyway," he said and went into his whole history with his "it's complicated girl". That woman didn't seem to mind either. She listened for a minute and said she was going to some party and took off.

As I've said before, a lot of my girlfriends talk to me when they are having boy problems, but I don't seem to have a lot of male friends who are all that open about their relationships that way. It was actually very refreshing. Mostly, his girly was pushing him away, and then pulling him back over and over again. I didn't try to tell him what to do, I just listened and told him I understood how confusing and frustrating that could be. After he got it all out, I told him I had to go home so I could get up early and run. Then we did that thing that people do in this day and age: We said we'd friend each other on Facebook and I promised to tag him in the photos.

Triathlon Training:

I ran 34.1 miles this week. No biking. No swimming.

She Gets Out of Her Head and She Talks to the Ceiling

Well, whatd'ya know? Another "cute little kids in Halloween costumes" photo. It must be October.

I know it's weird. At first I wouldn't talk about house stuff at all, and now that's all I ever do on here. It's just that I don't have anyone else to pester about it, and you all are very handy. If the subject bores you to tears, skim the post and avoid any paragraph that has the word "house" in it. Deal?

Today I called the woman at the bank who's name is on the paperwork. She was very helpful and told me there were some papers for the FHA loan my realtor didn't sign yet. I called the realtor and she said they were never given said papers. She said she'd take care of it. Right before I was supposed to get off work the loan officer guy FINALLY called me back. He was as befuddled as usual. He said he was sure that he had sent those papers, then actually checked my file and saw that he hadn't. Then he asked me if the inspections had gone through and should he send the appraisor in. I told him the inspections had been done for a week. Oh, he didn't realize the realtor had sent that info to him. Grrrrr. I try to be very forgiving with people. After all, I make more mistakes than anyone, and if the people in my world weren't forgiving, I wouldn't have any friends. But I'm on a very strict deadline and if I don't get my house because he keeps dropping the ball, I might have to go slash all of his tires. He did finally admit to me that he and his wife just had a baby, and he's very sleep-deprived. I understand that, but then maybe he needs to give my loan to someone who can take care of it. Did I already say, grrrrr? Good.

Okay, it's the weekend again already. It just keeps sneaking up on me. There are so many things going on, I'm going to REALLY have to prioritize. Basically, my girls and my family always come first. So, I have no idea what I'm doing on Friday night. I usually try to stay home, but I'm open to going out if someone invites me and there's something fun going on.

Saturday during the day we're going to the big O to see my family. Mostly, I like to go and harrass my 6 year old nephew and four year old niece. They think I'm really funny because they are young and don't know any better. I like to get them all riled up and then leave for my sister to calm down. It's great.

I also got invited to a bike ride and Cookout to follow that same day. I obviously can't do the bike ride, but I might do a drive-by of the cookout when I get back. I also may or may not stop downtown and have a drink with some folks. I'm just going to see how I feel. After dealing with my more extended family, I might really need a drink. You know?

Of course, I have to get home and go to bed early so Coadster and I can do the Run for the Schools roadrace on Sunday morning. I just hope I'm not left eating Coadster's dust and getting embarrassed in front of all of my friends.

So, what are you all up to? Will you be getting a drink after dealing with your extended family or be left behind while your kids run away from you?

And You Can Trust Me Not to Think

Still gearing up for Halloween. Here is a photo of the girls playing in the cemetery when we lived right by it. That's a totally appropriate place for young children to play, isn't it?

Well, kids. It looks like I'm still sleep deprived and I think by now you know what that means, don't you? That's right. Another random post.

1.) They have this great program in our town where high school kids can take classes at the university that will transfer to their college. And get this; it's free. I know. Anyway, Coadster decided to use it to take an Italian class next semester. Cool, huh?

2.) I know I've ranted on here before about the inappropriate email addresses with which kids use to apply to our Big 10 university. I'm not a prude by any stretch, but dude. Seriously? You should refrain from using an email address with the number combination 69 either preceded or followed by the name of a sexual organ or practice. One of my favorites was the girl who's address was bleeding wh*re. Do you email your mom with that? So, my coworkers have heard my rant a time or two. Yesterday Coadster's application came through and one of them said, "Wow. Have you seen your daughter's email address?" As far as I knew, Coadster's had the same email address for years, and it is the name of a Van Morrison song. My co-worker then said, "Hmmm. Well, the one she used on her application is xoxofuninthedark@gmail.com." I asked her to let me see that and she started laughing and said, "Sucka! I was just kidding. It was the one you said it was." Damn, I hate being so gullible.

3.) I called the banker guy and he blew me off. I think he's kind of a putz. He got the initial amount of the purchase wrong and he always gets me confused with some other potential home buyer. Today I called him and he told me he was in the middle of something and would call me right back. He lied.

4.) The realtor called me to talk about how we would arrange for our $1,000 remedy money. I asked her if she knew what was going on with the loan. She said she was under the impression that it had to be all approved by the end of this month. She said she'd try to contact the lender and if I don't hear from him by noon tomorrow, I'm going to call the underwriter person. I only have a few questions and it would take him about 5 minutes to address them. I realize we're all busy, but how hard is that? I need to know whether this is going through as soon as possible so I can try to sublet my apartment. See what I mean about the hurdles?

5.) I've been running a lot so far this week. Yesterday I ran my 7 mile route, which is a little more hilly than my normal one. I tried to run it at a faster pace. It was the last harder run I'm going to do before the "Run for the Schools" Coadster and I are racing in on Sunday. Today I just did a nice relaxing 6 mile route. My iPod decided I needed to listen to a lot of late 80's/early 90's music. Sure, it still played old stuff like Stevie Wonder's "Fingertips Part 2" and newer stuff like Coconut Records, "Nighttiming" and The Go! Team's "Ladyflash". But mostly it gave me The Breeder's "Cannonball" and Jane's Addiction's "Been Caught Stealing", Pavement's "Cut Your Hair" and The Gin Blossom's "Hey Jealousy". It was a pretty damn fun mix to run to.

6.) Okay. I'm going to try really, really hard to finally get some sleep tonight. It would be so cool to find me one of those attention spans I've been hearing about.

It Helps to Write It Down, Even When You Then Cross It Out

Guess what? I'm out of current photos again. It's a good thing it's the time of the year for old Halloween costume photos. Coadster is Storm from the X Men here and Stinky is a fairy godmother.

I know I've been saying for a while that the first rule of house buying is that I do not talk about house buying, but I've had a change of heart. For one, I hate talking around about things. I try to be as open and honest as possible, and so I think I can divulge some info. For two, I would love your knowledge if you have it about the difficulty of obtaining an FHA loan based on the house.

Sooooo, here we go. I found a house, made an offer, they countered then we countered and we all countered for the purchase until we came to an agreement. Then there were some inspections and a remedy request to ask for money at closing based on the inspections and they just agreed to that this week. Now, I have to sit and wait and as you can imagine, I'm not much of a sit and wait kind of girl, which has gotten me into trouble many times in the past. But we all have our faults. (unfortunately, I have mine and probably most of yours too)

I like to call the two photos on here the Superhero years.

Anyway, the big thing now is to wait for the loan to go through. Since I'm getting an FHA loan, I have the obstacle of another inspection and the fact that they won't approve of the house if they don't feel like it's worth the price. I went on-line today to see how likely these things could be as problems and from what I can tell, it all depends. Some people said their inspectors were super uptight and others said their inspectors drove by and said they thought it looked fine. I'm hoping for the lazy man or woman who doesn't get out of his or her car and approves it with a wave of their hand. If you have had any experience with getting a house approved for an FHA loan, I would be ever so grateful for your wisdom.

I also sat down tonight and looked over all the paperwork the realtor and loan people gave me to try to make sense of it. You know me, I need to write things down to sort them out and process them, so I wrote stuff down, and made lists and stopped short of making a pie chart. Hey, it's good to know I have at least a little self-control. So, tomorrow I'm going to check with the realtor and the lender to make sure everything is still on track and if there is something I'm forgetting that will come back to bite me in the ass later. Okay. That's probably more than you wanted to know.

Well, I've Been Afraid of Changing

Here are some flowers growing out of a wall.

Hey, kids. This will be a really quick post. I've been doing the sleep-deprivation thing and I need to try to get to bed at a decent hour.

So, house things are percolating pretty well right now. I still can't talk about it until I know for sure one way or the other. There so many things that can go wrong and it seems like I keep jumping over one hurdle after another. There's one more big hurdle, but if that works out, then I should be golden. If it doesn't work out, then my house dreams are kind of shot for now. Hopefully I'll know in the next few weeks.

Can't Find Any Place That I'd Rather Be

A crowd gathers to watch the mulleting.

Wow, kids. It's the weekend again. This week was barely a blur. We got a lot accomplished, but I can't wait for everything to be completely done, so that things will slow down enough for my life to actually be in focus. Until that happens, the actual writing on this old blog will definitely suffer. But I hear it's all about priorities, right?

Trying to capture a mulletee.

For you viewing pleasure, I thought I'd throw up some photos of the random mulleting that happened at the senior cross country banquet. Watching it all happening while I laughed my ass off, I wondered why we never did anything that fun in cross country. Then I remembered that when I was in high school, everyone already had mullets. Oh yeah.

Mullet making in progress.

I guess I should talk about this weekend. Well, I'm not all that sure. It's Homecoming for the University and so my first impulse is to pull down the shades and hide in my house. The only problem with that is that my girl crush is coming into town with her husband on Saturday. So, I thought I might just go out for a little minute and make it an early night instead.

He could put an eye out with those.

As far as daytime activities are concerned, I will continue on my cleaning and organizing and packing of things I haven't used in many, many months. I'm sure I'll try to run as much as possible too. It's that time of year when I have to try and remember to dress in layers, because it's cold when I start and then it gets too warm and if I hit the wind the wrong way, I'll get cold again.

The finished product of the bowl-cut mullet.

So, kids. What's on tap for all of you this weekend? Will you be hiding from the drunken hordes, or clearing your life of unwanted clutter?

When I'm Breathless I'll Run til I Drop. Hey.

Coadster's decorated locker. Please notice the embarrassing kid pic.

Hi. How's it going? I'm doing alright. I was in a weird little funk for most of the day. It wasn't like anything was really wrong, I was just feeling kind of lost and lonely for no particular reason. Do you ever have those days? I usually try to keep to myself when I'm like that, because I know it's stupid and other people have real problems. So, I retreat to my lair.

My friend G. generally emails me like instant messaging throughout the day, but like I said, I was lying low and we were out of contact. Finally, right before lunch she sent me a message that said, "Wow. I miss you." It was pretty cute and did make me feel less lonely.

Coadster pretending to run and making a cheesy face.

I really wanted to go running the second I got off work and then hibernate in my house and not have to deal with the world. As I stated yesterday, that was not to be. I went to the high school and decorated Coadster's locker. She loved it and was so glad I was there.

Coadster and her best friend.

Then there was the senior banquet. The food was pretty bad, but the entertainment factor was high. The kids all had a great time and Coadster was so excited that her dad and I were both there to walk up to the stage with her.

I did get my run in around 8 and had some time to chill out. The crazy thing was, that hanging out with Coadster and seeing her so happy helped me out a lot. How can I be sad or lost or lonely when I'm busy doing stuff with my girls? Please remind me of that tomorrow when I'm standing in the cold and rain at her last home cross country meet.

I Stretched Back and I Hicupped and Looked Back on My Busy Day

Here is another bucolic Iowa shot.

Oh, kids. I'll apologize in advance. This will be one of those, "I'm so busy posts". As if I'm the only person who has ever tried to buy a house as a single parent and still had to work all day and go to all their kids' functions. The whole process is dizzyingly overwhelming, and I have even less time than before, but duh, how great is it that I might actually get a house out of all of this? Pretty fucking great. So, please pardon my spazziness about stupid details, and know that I feel very lucky to be able to have this kind of stress in my life.

Soooo, blah, blah, blah. I did some house hunting related stuff tonight. Whatever it was went pretty well. I promise to give you details once things are solidified one way or the other.

Tomorrow night is senior night for cross-country. It is the first thing where we publicly recognize the fact that our kids won't be here next time this year bugging us for rides home from cross-country practice and to buy them desserts for team dinners. I'm supposed to go at 5:30 and decorate Coadster's locker. I'm making Stinky go with me, so she can show me how all the cool kids' parents do it. I don't want her to be the only kid with horribly embarrassing baby pics plastered all over her door, while all the other runners have signs of encouragement. (Although, I do think it would be funny to put some of those photos up along with the encouraging posters) Then we'll eat and I'll very uncomfortably walk up to the front of the room with Coadster when she gets her letter and probably some kind of certificate. Then I'll finally get to go home and go running. Ahhhh.

Coming Out the Woodwork, Through the Open Door

Here is a chair and some pumpkins.

I'm sure everyone else has come up with this analogy a hundred years before me, but I was joking around with my friends on Saturday night about how much house hunting is like dating.

You know? How you have to decide if you want something shiny and new or older and with a little more character? When you first start looking, you're worried that someone is going to be able to offer up more than you and you'll get rejected. It's okay, though. Like everything else, it's all about timing and maybe it wasn't meant to be, or else maybe things will fall through with the other buyer, and the house you want will become available to you a little later...When you're both ready.

If your offer does get accepted, it's not like you're free and clear. Hell no. There are dates scheduled for inspections. And in those series of meetings, you have to figure out if those are corner cracks that come from settling and can be lived with, or if there's something fundamentally wrong with the foundation and you need to run away screaming, before you waste anymore time and energy on something that will only cause you pain and heartbreak in the end.

Finally, after all is said and done, you want to find something that you can live with and feel an emotional attachment to. Of course, even then there are no guarantees. At some point, after you put years of money and time into it, you might outgrow your house and you'll both be on the market again.

When Everybody Keeps Retreating

Coadster's Homecoming group. She's the one in the back with the side ponytail.

I tried to calm things down this weekend. Last week was so crazy, I needed a break from a lot of things. On Friday night my friend G. tried to bribe me to go out. Apparently, I can't be bought. My girls were at the game and then at a friend's and I REALLY needed some mellow, alone time. My sister suggested I watch the Benjamin Button movie and she was so right. It was like reading a novel, without the eye strain. I liked the message too: You never know how long you have with anyone - so appreciate the hell out of them while you have them. I've been saying that for years.

Stinky at her pre-Homecoming photo shoot.

Saturday was a whirlwind. At one point, I thought I'd try to do some serious cleaning, organizing, putting things in bags and boxes and quickly realized, it wasn't going to happen without me getting really, really stressed. So, I decided I needed to go on a nice relaxing run and came back feeling a million times better.

Most of the day was spent running kids and picking up kids and going to the store for a last minute boutineer and finally dealing with my girls and their friend getting ready for the Homecoming dance in our only bathroom.

It's just sparkling grape juice, so don't freak out.

The big dilemma of the day came with the picture taking. Both my girls were scheduled to have pictures within 15 minutes of each and on opposite sides of town. There was no way I could do both and since their dad didn't have a car, he couldn't help out. I asked the girls how they wanted to handle it. Coadster said she'd give this one to Stinky, if I took photos of her at prom, since it's her last year. So, that's how we did it. I do feel bad about not being able to be two places at once, but until I get to choose a super power, I have to work with what I have.

Always making with the jazz hands.

I picked up my friends around 10 and headed to the Dublin. It was kind of nice to talk to people who didn't talk in text speak. As in, "OMG! I can't find my hair straightener. WTF!" I got to talk house hunting and remodeling with some friends who bought their house about 5 years ago and then were flooded out of it for a while last Summer.

Later in the evening, there was a little drama that went down. But as my friend G. said, "As long as it isn't my drama, I can deal with it so much better." Amen to that. Finally, I drank my two beers and about a pitcher of water, and I was ready to go home. I offered anyone else a ride, but they were all out for the duration, so I head home without taxiing anyone else. The end.

Oh yeah. I hope everybody was able to watch the moon come up tonight wherever they live. It was a sight to behold.

Triathalon training this week:

I ran 30 miles and that is all. I'm putting it on the back burner until I get the house hunting taken care of. Then I plan to be back cross-training.

Find a Place to Call My Own and Try to Fix Up. Start a Brand New Day

Here is an old tattered flag stuck to a utility pole...With amber waves of grain and all that behind it.

Egad, kids! This has been one hell of a week. It's been good, just insanely busy and I feel like I've been on overdrive trying to juggle everything. I'm not going to talk about what's up with the house hunting until it's been pretty well decided one way or the other. For one thing, I don't want to jinx it, for another, it's such a weird, exciting, stressful rollercoaster and I need time to process things.

Soooooooo, I guess it's the weekend now, huh? My plan is to start cleaning, organizing and getting rid of shit. Even if I don't end up moving, it would be nice to have that done.

It's also Homecoming at my girls' high school. What that means for me is that I will probably drive kids places, on Saturday take some photos of dressed-up girls and then have both Friday and Saturday night to myself. Right now, I don't have any definite social plans. I think I'll see if anyone contacts me to do something, and figure it out as I go.

How about you all? Are you planning anything definite, or flying by the seat of your pants this weekend?

There Was Something So Pleasant About That Place

Here is what it looks like to walk into a corn field this time of year.

I live in a town full of freaks and bizarre incidences...For the most part. On Monday night when I was dropping my daughter off at show choir, we saw an animal control vehicle parked on the side of the road. Across the street, a guy in uniform was emerging from a yard with a large black bird he was holding upside down. At first, I thought it might be a very big raven, but as he got closer, I realized it was a chicken. Then on Dorky's blog, he posted an article from our local paper about some weird rash of chickens running amuck around Iowa City. I never did find out if it was some kind of planned terrorist act by one of the groups trying to allow chickens in the city, or if a truck overturned somewhere.


Here is some dried corn.

On Tuesday, I was headed back to the office from the other building across the street. Some younger college aged girl stopped me, pointed to my basket and asked, "Hey, is that from CVS?" I was confused because I work for a state institution that likes to use acronyms for everything. So, at first I thought she was asking me if I picked up some forms she needed from a certain area. I kept asking her what she meant. Finally she said, "I work at CVS and people are always stealing our red baskets." She even stuck her finger in my face. Have I ever mentioned on here how much I hate it when people get in my face?

"Oh. Well, we've been using this same basket for the last 7 years at least...Since CVS was still called Osco. And I highly doubt the university would steal it from your store." She saw that I was really annoyed and finally backed off a little.

When I started to walk away, she said, "They may have taken it by accident, you know..." Um, okay. What is wrong with people? I'm sure there are crazy people everywhere, but it just seems that our town has an unusually high concentration of them.

I Got Bruises on My Memory

Here is a barn and and a camper and some outbuildings.

So, this frantic house hunting is taking up all of my time and energy. I looked at some houses today, and hopefully, I'll look at more tomorrow. I can't really write about it right now, because I haven't had time to process it. Instead, I will post my next story installment that began last week. Here it is:

The racetrack is made for adults. The fence that separates us from where the horses run is too high for me and Bill to see over. When the grownups get excited during a race, we stand up on the chairs to try to see, but the old men in the back seats get mad. "Sit down, you goddamn hippie kids!" One of them yells and then they throw their racing forms and plastic cups that used to hold beer at us and we have to step down.

We start doing this thing we do when we get bored at the track. Me and my brother wrap the bottom of our t-shirts around our arms to make a bag. We walk around the seats and pick up the stubs to the racing tickets and put them in the bags we made. When our bags get too full we take our arms out of our t-shirts and stretch the bottoms really tight. The stubs go flying into the air and we start again. Sometimes this is fun and sometimes it isn't, but we do it anyway. It's like the way I touch the cup of skin between my nose and lip. When I start, it helps me helps me feel better, then after a while my finger gets tired but it's hard to stop. That's what picking up the stubs is like and we keep at it until my Uncle Jack sees us.

"You guys are still here?" He asks and we don't say anything back. Instead we look down because we know we're not supposed to be here. "Maybe you should tell your dad to meet me in my office in ten minutes and we'll go to Riata Pass to eat." He's trying to sound cheerful, but I can tell by the way his jaw is stiff that he's mad.

My brother is going to tell our father we should go. I would, but I don't want him to be mad at me and my brother doesn't care.

"Hey, Dad," my brother says, but he's too quiet. He clears his throat and tries again. "Dad. Hey, Dad!" He almost yells and my father doesn't move. He just stares out at the racetrack even though there aren't any horses running.

Bill tries once more and my dad doesn't move and I get scared and I'm crying. I yell, "Daddy!" My father doesn't stop staring, but he raises his hand and shoos us away. Now we have to go back to our uncle's office and he will go get our father. We walk slowly, because we're embarrassed. Once I heard my aunt telling my grandma about how she saw my dad staring for hours and the way she said it let me know that he shouldn't do that. On the way to Uncle Jack's office, I ask my brother, "Why does he do that? What's wrong with him?"

"Who cares. He's dumb. Why do you even care?" My brother is flicking his middle finger against thumb the way he does when he hates my dad, so I don't say anything else.

Avenues All Lined With Trees

Here is a sign either pointing to Kansas City or showing you the way to the lead singer of the Sunshine Band.

I've always dreamed of houses. Big, rambling, impractical houses with secret passages and miles and miles of twisted hallways. At some point in every dream, I realize that I have an apartment, and so the big rambling house, really couldn't be mine. I wonder if I'll still dream like that if I actually buy my own home.

Today I met with the realtor and her assistant at lunch. They asked me what I was looking for in a house. I assumed they meant, what was I looking for in a home I could afford. I've thought about it a lot lately, as I obsess over the realty sites in my town. Ideally, I'd like a two bedroom bungalow with hardwood floors. It wouldn't have to be that big, as long as it didn't need a ton of work. I guess, if it were possible, I wouldn't mind one of those extra upstairs rooms that Stinky likes to refer to as a teen room. As in, "Hey, mom. If we get that one house, can that big upstairs room be my teen room?" I told the realtors that I didn't have to have a garage, but after being without one during the tornado, a basement would be very, very welcome. Oh, yeah. I don't need a huge yard, but I'd like enough of one to have a garden. I would settle for a decent Ranch style home too.

In order to get the tax credit, the realtor said I had just about 3 weeks to find a house in my price range. Eek! That doesn't give me much time. They seemed pretty confident that I'd be able to find something and they were going to get back to me on when we can actually go out and start looking. I'll keep you all posted on the process.

Are You Thinkin' of Telephones, and Managers and Where You Got to Be at Noon?

This is what parts of Iowa look like in the Fall. Look. I finally got around to taking some outdoor pics today.

This weekend was packed with so much stuff, it felt a lot like a clown car. So, in the interest of now trying to fit it all into one blog post, I will use a nice little series of numbers.

1.) I got off work at noon on Friday and met with a loan officer. He pre-approved me for a home loan. Yea!

2.) I called my brother to get help on what to do next and how all this house buying stuff was supposed to work.

3.) I got the name of a realtor and contacted said person. We set up a time and place to meet on Monday to get the ball rolling.

4.) I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. The dental hygenist praised me on how well I took care of my teeth. It made me wonder how bad some other people's teeth must be and then I promptly shuddered.

5.) After Coadster got home from cross country practice, we went out for steak to celebrate Stinky's birthday. It was very, very good.

6.) Once I got Stinky to her friend's house and Coadster was getting ready for bed, a friend invited me to come over and drink some beer. This particular friend just happens to be extremely knowledgeable about almost everything I'm interested in. So, it was great to have someone to talk and get excited about everything with. And since this friend also makes me laugh harder than anyone I know, it was a perfect end to my day.

Here we are with the birthday girl.

1.) On Saturday I looked at a bunch of on-line real estate sites that the above mentioned friend sent me. I picked out the houses I was interested in and sent the list in an email to my realtor.

2.) I ran my six mile route and felt really strong.

3.) Did some cleaning and made lunch and ran kids around for much of my afternoon.

4.) Missed the early beginning of my friend J.'s birthday because I was busy on mom duty.

5.) Caught the last half of J.s birthday down at the Dublin. I knew it was going to be an interesting evening when my friend G. and I were walking toward the Dublin and two guys stopped us and told us we looked like we were having a rough night. G. had just stepped out of the shower and it was barely 9 o'clock. We both started laughing our asses off. The two twenty something year old boys then decided to follow us down the stairs where we did our damnedest to ignore them. They finally left.

6.) Another group of our girlfriends met us down for some drinks. At midnight, I was starting to turn into a pumpkin, so I let all the girlies know I was leaving and offered everyone rides. Most of my friends took me up on it, and I was able to safely taxi all my friends home.

B. throwing himself at my friend G. ....Again.

1.) On Sunday I got up and went to the running shoe store, only to find out they didn't open until noon. Wah.

2.) I ran my 8 mile route in my old shoes. The weather was warm and windy - my favorite.

3.) I got home and decided to ride my bike for a bit. I ran into my neighbors and stopped to chat with them. One of my neighbors just did a triathlon last May for the first time, so she had some good advice for me.

4.) Rode the rest of my bike route and finally took a few pics.

5.) Tried to give Stinky a lesson in driving a stick shift. She can drive a car with an automatic transmission, but I have a stick. She couldn't get the hang of it and she started getting frustrated. So, we decided to stop and try again another day.

6.) Went to the store, did some cleaning and made breakfast for dinner. (waffles, bacon and fruit) Stinky was in heaven.

Triathlon training this week:

I ran 42 miles.

I biked 10 miles.

I still haven't done any swimming (do you like how I avoided the whole swam/swum dilemma?)

Home, Where My Thoughts Escaping

Now I'm resorting to boring photos of water and trees.

This week I finally decided to get my shit together and actually go talk to banks about getting a home loan. Tomorrow I'm taking a half day of vacation, but before you go getting all jealous, let me tell you that I'm going to talk to two different lenders and then going to the dentist. Yeah. Now, how jealous are you? That's what I thought.

I've spent a lot of time on the internet this week looking at lender and housing options and my head might just explode before I get anywhere near buying a house. My brother said that I'd get a loan, but it might not be enough for what I want and where I want to live. I'll probably burn some more vacation time next week talking to a couple more lenders. My friend who talked to me about this a couple of weeks ago, told me to shop around, so that's what I'm doing. I figure if I don't get what I want right now, I'll still be in the place I am now, but much better educated. And where I am right now is just fine. I love where I live, it's just that I'd rather stop throwing money away, and I have very little time to try to get that first time home buyer tax credit. I'm just going to throw it all up in the air and see how it lands.

But enough of that. It's the weekend. Woot! After all the practical crap tomorrow, the girls and I will finally go out for dinner to celebrate Stinky's birthday. I'm not sure what else I'm doing tomorrow night. The girls may have plans with their friends after dinner, and I'll just decide when I know their schedules.

On Saturday, I'd like to do another double work-out running and biking. If it rains, I'll have to change that around and maybe swim instead. My friend G. gets back on Saturday night and she has told me she expects an email from me waiting for her and to go out on Saturday night. So there. I might be ready for a beer or two. I feel like I'm working really hard parenting and training and writing and researching home loans and Iowa City properties, that I'll be very ready to blow off some steam on Saturday if G.'s plane gets back in time for that.

How about you all? Do your weekend plans involve working hard or playing hard or mixing and matching?

Ain't It Hard When You Discover That He Really Wasn't Where It's At

Here is a picture of my brother when he was very young. One of these days I'll actually take some pics, so I don't have to keep recycling these old ones.

So, remember how I posted part of that story I entitled 1969? Well, since I'm reworking the whole thing, I thought I'd get all crazy and start posting it from the beginning. Chronological order. Weird. I'll try to post it every week as I work on it. Just a reminder, it's mostly fiction with some fact or someone's memories thrown in for fun. Here we go:

I am eight years old today. My mom had to work, so we will have my party tomorrow. My dad was supposed to get my cake and decorations but he wanted to stop at the track for just a minute and now I think he forgot. Bill says not to worry about it. Our mom will take care of it later. She will be mad, but she'll get everything I need for my party. Now, Bill says we should go watch the races for a while and I can have my birthday tomorrow.

We go to tell my dad that we are going up front to see better. He is watching the horses. The old men at the track call them ponies. When there is a race going, he won't look anywhere else until the last horse crosses in front of him. Sometimes he won't look up then. He will just stare and stare. He won't look up even if I stand in front of him and scream right in his face. I know because I did it once and he didn't blink. He doesn't do anything when we say where we're going, so we know we can do whatever we want now.

My father used to work at the racetrack taking pictures of the winning horses. I don't know why he doesn't anymore, but my uncle still does and that's why we get to sit in the VIP section. VIP doesn't mean vice president. When I tell my brother that's what I think it means, he calls me stupid and now I don't think that anymore.

"It means very important people," Bill says and laughs the way he does when he hates my father. I know better to ask why it's funny that we sit in the very important people section.


That's probably more than enough for now. Tune in next week when our heroine braves even more family dysfunction at the racetrack...

Is This the Prize for Having Learned How Not to Cry?

I don't have any photos of me actually working at the clinic, but this recycled photo was taken at that same time.

I've been on kind of a roll with the writing lately. I was dormant with it for so long, that now I feel very much awake and full of ideas. I work them out a lot when I'm running or riding my bike. I seem to think better when I'm moving. So, I'll be posting bits and pieces of some of the new stuff I'm working on and the old stuff I'm reworking.

I wrote a little about Stinky's illness yesterday. I worked at the clinic at the same time and many nights I slept at the hospital, woke up, and walked down the hall to work at the clinic all day. So, I started working on a piece about advocating for patients and then suddenly being on the other end of that. Some of it is fiction and some isn't. Here's a bit of it:

My primary doctor told me that my main job was to make "nicey nice" with the patients. That doctor was an incredible gynecologist and surgeon, but not much of a people person. I was actually, surprisingly really good at making "nicey nice". I was never disingenuous or condescending. The tough part was distancing myself enough so that I didn't absorb every heartbreaking situation I experienced, or I'd end up in the fetal postion sucking my thumb at the end of eash day. It was a line I found myself crossing over way too often. Usually, I just tried to find out a little bit about the patient and help them the best I could. So, when my doctor would leave a room and say, "Hey, can you help me out? I've just explained her limited options to her about a hundred times and she doesn't seem to get it. Can you go in there and help her understand and come up with a plan? Thanks. Oh, and we need that room, so do you think you could do all of that as quickly as possible?" I would do just that.

Making "nicey nice" included many different scenarios. Once on the way to entering a room for an older woman's appointment, her daughter-in-law stopped me and said,"Hi. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to fill you in. She just spent all of last year fighting cancer, and she has reached her saturation point with being poked and prodded. If there is any way you can help her calm down for this, I'd really appreciate it." I got lucky with that one. When I checked out her chart, I recognized her last name. Both of her sons were lawyers in town and hung out at the coffee shop where I used to work. While my doctor poked and prodded her, I asked her if she wanted to hold my hand (which she definitely did) and then said,

"So, lets talk about how great your boys are..." That took her mind off of everything else and she handled the procedure really well.

Since I could speak Spanish and there were only two interpreters in the whole hospital, sometimes I would get yanked out of procedures in order to translate. It could get tricky, especially when someone pulled me out of a room and sent me down to the infertility clinic to talk to an EXTREMELY traditional Mexican couple about how to prepare for a semen analysis. For the life of me, I couldn't remember the Spanish word for mastur*bate* right off the top of my head.

Sometimes making "nicey nice", was really more like making "meany mean". I was doing a blood draw on a pregnant prisoner and before I even put my gloves on she said, "Just so you know, you'll never find a working vein. I've been slamming crank for so many years, I bet I've blown every one I had." I resisted the urge to put 12 gloves on each hand and started checking her arms. I found one on her left arm. It was just a little deeper under the skin than I normally had to go. As she watched me stick the needle in and fill the tubes, she suddenly got way too excited. "Wait! Where the hell did you find that!?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not telling you. It's one thing to screw yourself up with that crap. I'm not going to help you poison your poor baby."

Okay. That was just a VERY rough draft of a part of the story I'm working on. I'm sure it will change and morph a hundred times and hopefully, it might even be readable after a while.

Sixteen Candles Make a Lovely Light

Here is Stinky as a baby. I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to push the swing to make it go faster and higher.

Well, kids. it's time for another mushy, gushy birthday post. This time it might even be extra special cheesy for a few reasons. The first is that my baby is turning 16 this year, and once she starts driving, there's no telling whether any of us will be around for her 17th, and if we are, I might be writing that post from my new digs with the nicely padded walls.

Here is Stinky a few months before she got sick.

The second reason is because February of this year marked the 10th anniversary of Stinky having meningitis. In March she got sick with very similar symptoms, and since we were told her chances of getting meningitis are higher because of her first incident, all of those feelings came back to haunt me. Luckily, it was a false alarm, but I was surprised how much Stinky remembered from that time. She still knows that hospital better than most of the people who work there, I bet.

Here is Stinky at my family reunion in Breckenridge. She might be just a little off.

I feel very lucky for every day I've had with her...Although, with her tendency for boundary pushing, I have to really remind myself sometimes. No. She's a great kid. She's goofy and silly and quirky and all of those things I can relate to. And if nothing else, I think her illness has taught her to grab life with both hands and not just appreciate every day of it, but make it her bitch.

Stinky at her dad's house on Halloween. It's her favorite holiday and this was her favorite costume. She got to combine being creepy with wearing a "pretty" dress. She went as a dead bride that year, and all day at work, I was afraid her school was going to call me and make me change her into something a little less offensive.

This year, like the year she was born, Stinky's birthday falls on the first day of Fall. It also just happens to be her favorite season. She loves the changing of the leaves and football season and especially Halloween. When my girls were little, my brother who is also a fiend for Halloween, used to send us a huge box of Halloween related crap every year. We had spider webs, spiders and bats hanging from every room and Stinky would plan her costume out for the next year, the day after.

Stinky driving her sister insane, which is a job she takes very seriously.

This will be a tough year for Stinky in some ways. She's been trying to prepare herself for a while for her sister graduating and moving out of the house. At least she'll finally get her own room, but I have a feeling if it were up to her, she'd still rather share it with Coadster.


So, Stinkyjandra Luz Maria. Happy sweet 16th and happy Equinox and and happy September 22nd and happy first day of Fall! I'm so thankful I get to spend it with you.

I Don't Know Where I'm Running Now, I'm Just Running On

Here I am next to a gigantic foam finger. It's part of a promo we're doing to get students involved in campus activities. I'm not sure who thought seeing a guy walking around campus dressed like this would be motivating, just know it wasn't me.

So, kids. This weekend turned out differently than I had planned. Coadster babysat for Mr Creekside Review and his wife on Friday night. Their son is adorable and sweet and Coadster loves hanging out with him. She said he was quoting Kung Fu Panda all night and that just happens to be one of her favorite movies too. It sounds like she had a great night.

Stinky asked if I'd take her Homecoming dress shopping, so I did. She didn't find anything she really liked, and I was too tired to keep going, so we went home and started watching Quarantine. As I've said before, I do like a good zombie movie. Too bad Quarantine wasn't one of them. I hate it when the plot is driven by people being stupid. I couldn't even finish it, I was so annoyed with it. Stinky had already seen it, was exhausted and had to get up early the next morning, so we were both fine with turning it off.

Saturday was a very active day for me. I went for a long bike ride on Saturday morning and my 6 mile run in the afternoon. I swear, if I didn't have to work an office job, I'd start every morning off with an hour or two long bike ride. It felt so great.

Around 7:30, my friend D. called me to say that she and our friend E. had just been hanging out at the Magic Bus during the game, were heading down to the Dublin and wanted to know if I would join them. Ah, what the hell. I waited for Stinky to get off work, and then dropped her off at her friend's house and headed down. I'm glad I did, since there were a lot of people I knew there. Of course, by the time I got there, E. was already heading home with her husband, but D. was there for the duration. A little before midnight, I got a call from a friend of mine asking me where I was. She was having boy troubles and wanted to know if she could come down and talk to me about it.

I really don't think I'm the best person to talk to about that, since I haven't been in any kind of relationship in forever. It just seems like in most of those situations, people really need to vent, and I'm good at lending a supportive ear. At one point, she asked me what I thought she should do. Basically, I just told her to be honest and open about how she felt and what she wanted and let him know what was bugging her, without making him feel like he was being attacked. That's about all the advice I have. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was just open and honest and let people know what they wanted as diplomatically as possible? How refreshing would that be? (and I'm not just talking about relationships. It would be really great at work too) I suppose the tough part with that is everyone figuring out what they want and not changing their minds.

Where was I again? Oh yeah. Saturday night. Anyway, I tried to help as much as possible, but I was really tired. Luckily, that particular friend only lives a block away from me, so we were able to continue our conversation while we walked home together.

I woke up early on Sunday and felt okay. I had a migraine on and off since Friday afternoon. So, I thought I might finally be in the clear. A friend suggested I check out the local triathlon to see how it all worked. I headed over there and he was so right. It was really cool to see it in action. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, so you don't get to see the guy who competed in a kilt or the other unregistered guy who snuck in to run the 5 k in jean cut-offs. Sorry. (or maybe I should say, you're welcome) Before I left, my migraine had come back full force, so I wasn't able to swim laps today. Darn.

Tri training this week:

32 miles run.

22 miles biked.

0 laps swum. (is that right? swum? swam?)

I realize that I still haven't done any swiming yet. I'm planning on working that in more when the weather is bad and I can't run or bike outside as easily.

I'll Be Here All the Time...I Can Never Quit

Here is a mini disco ball on a table full of abandoned cups.

So, I went to Coadster's cross country meet today. I know it makes me a dork, but it got me all excited about racing. Her team is huge and great and really supportive of each other. Before the race started, all 70 girls got in a big circle to help each other gear up. One of the moms and I double dog dared her husband to get in the middle of the circle and do the worm or break dance. He said he didn't think it would be worth the therapy bills he'd need to pay for his daughter. I guess he had a point.

My friend G., the activities director and my link to society will be out of town this weekend. She's always great about getting me out of my house and makes plans every Saturday. She's really good for me that way. As I've said before, most of my interests are pretty solitary endeavors and I do need my alone time, but when I don't make myself socialize, I live in my scary brain too much and it makes me even weirder. Who even knew that was possible? Right now, I don't have any social plans for this weekend. If someone calls or texts me and asks me to do something, I'll definitely consider it. I just haven't actively sought anything out is all.

I think I'll use this weekend to regroup and take care of my house, both literally and in that literary gothic sense where it represents my psyche. Which is just a fancy way of saying I'll be cleaning and working on my shit. Coadster is babysitting for my blogging buddy at Creekside Review on Friday night. Stinky and I will have some alone time together, but we haven't figured out exactly what we'll do with it yet.

I'll have to wake up early on Saturday morning to get Stinky to her job and Coadster to cross country practice. Then I'm going to try to ride a hilly route some of my cyclist friends told me about. It should be really pretty this time of year too. I need to be back to get Coadster from cross country practice to the same job where Stinky will be working. Then later in the afternoon, I'll do my 6 mile run.

Saturday night is an open slate. I'll let you know what I do with it. Finally, on Sunday I plan on doing my first lap swim. I will definitely start out very slowly and work on increasing my distance throughout the Winter.

And what of you, good blog readers? What are your weekend plans? Will you be charging into the middle of a group and break dancing, or taking baby steps before you start really going the distance?

Everybody All Around Me. Shakin' Hands and Sayin' Howdy

Here are some people at the beach. A place where I'd like to be right now.

So, you know how I'm kind of socially retarded, right? Well, today it seemed like everyone else was even weirder than me. I was in an alternate universe, where I was the normal person...Okay, I won't go that far, but there were people walking around the planet who made me look almost normal.

The minute I stepped on campus, I realized the Gideon bible guys were out in full force. They are generally nice, polite, older gentleman in suits. I've worked at this particular institute of higher learning for many, many years, so I know the drill. I take the first little green book offered me, and wave it at all the other guys trying to give me the same thing.

When I got up to my building, I noticed a guy standing in front, looking toward the sky. At first I thought he might be looking for the hawk that used to fly around the museum across the street, but he was looking past it. I approached two other women who work in my building and asked, "So, is that guy just trying to see how many people he can make look up this morning?"

"No. Margaret said she asked him what he was doing and he told her he was looking for the moon so he could see Jupiter. If he wanted to see all that, you'd think he would have started a little earlier...Like before sunrise," one of my co-workers replied

* * *

I think I've told you that after lunch I walk across the street with a little red shopping basket to pick-up all of our afternoon computer print-outs. Well, today I noticed a car politely waiting for me to cross the street. I didn't pay much attention to it, until the driver yelled out the window, "City High cross country! Wooooo!" I looked up and realized the guy was my friend and co-worker T-Rip's boyfriend and he was referring to my Facebook status update. Then I remembered that I saw a Facebook reminder for him too.

"Hey! Happy birthday, M!" I said. As I walked into the other building, I wondered if we would have said anything to each other besides hi, if Facebook didn't exist.

* * *

Finally. Today when I was running, two. Count 'em, two different guys I didn't know held up their hands so we could high-five each other as we passed. What the hell is that? I'm all for waving and saying hi, to fellow runners, but I have no desire whatsoever to slap their sweaty palms against mine. You know? I'd like to issue a no contact order between me and passing runners I don't know from here on out.

Soooo, how was your day?

Here's a Little Ghost for the Offering

Here are some pretty flowers that have nothing to do with my post. What else is new?

Okay, I went back to my old short story vault and pulled out part of a different story than last week. I posted this a couple of years ago too. So, I apologize to any of you people who have been reading my blog for the last three years or so...Actually, I should probably apologize to you every day, huh? Anyway, this is pretty much pure fiction. I'm too young to remember the moon landing. (believe it or not) and so I made up a bunch of shit around it. Too bad I forgot I wrote this. It would have been perfect during the anniversary in July. Here goes:


1969

Tonight is a big deal. My dad keeps telling us, “Kids, remember this. This is a very big deal.” My brother rolls his eyes and walks into his room. I stay in the living room so I can be where everyone else is. I’m afraid to miss it. It is a very big deal.

My mom has set up the card table so she can put all the food she made on it. My grandma and my Uncle Jack and my Aunt Lee are coming over. My Aunt Lee is divorced and everyone says it in a whisper like it’s secret and we can’t say it around her because it might make her feel bad. Her daughter is a year older than my brother. She will never play with me. After they get here, my cousin goes off with my brother and they shoot things with their slingshots. I don’t even try to tag along because I know they will start shooting at me.

My mom touches or winks at me every time she comes out of the kitchen with potato salad, or Jello or bread or deviled eggs. My dad likes very dark bread and brown mustard, so we always have to have it, but my mom doesn’t make me eat it or I’ll throw up. He also eats peanuts in the shell and all of our ashtrays are full of empty shells. There’s almost no room for cigarettes or ashes.

Once the whole family arrives, my dad and my Uncle Jack talk about politics and everyone tries to get them to change the subject because they don’t agree. There is so much cigarette smoke everywhere that my eyes burn.

Nobody is walking on the moon yet. They are all just watching the news, which I’m not allowed to see because when they have the war on the news, I get scared. I once heard a ticking clock and thought it was a bomb and ran out of my parent’s room screaming. So, I’m not allowed to watch the news.

I finally get so bored, that I go into my bedroom and play with my wedding paper dolls. There is a bride and a groom and you can change their outfits for the wedding and later for the honeymoon. I hear a thunk. I know that my brother and my cousin have hit my window with a rock. I think I might tell on them, but the grown-ups are loud and drinking beer and I don’t like the way they act.

My mother comes in my room to wake me up. I fell asleep and now the groom’s tuxedo wedding outfit is stuck to my face. She picks me up and carries me into the living room. I sit on her lap to watch the man walk on the moon. Everyone is quiet and serious, but I watch my dad instead of the guy on the screen because I’ve never seen him like that before. He is staring like he usually does, but this time he seems happy – like he’s far away from our cramped and smoky living room.

Okay, that was another snippet of a story I need to rework. I think I'll keep this in the first person though.