I Bet You Got It All Planned Right

My friend C. was in town from Chicago.

Wow. What a crazy weekend...But good, for the most part. On Friday afternoon, Coadster called me to say she wasn't really into going to the football game and wondered if I was going to be home, because she wanted to hang out and watch movies with me. Awesome. That's all I needed to hear. I never take it for granted when my 17 year old wants to hang out with me.

We watched Adventureland. It takes place in 1987, so Coadster kept asking me if people talked like that back then or listened to that kind of music or whatever. I wasn't always all that helpful. I was in college in 1987, so my memory of that year is a little hazy.

G. and fun kids from the conference.

Saturday was almost as blurry as 1987 is for me. After we got back from Ottumwa, I dropped Coadster off at her babysitting gig and Stinky off at her friend's house. I stopped at the cookout for a minute. The guy I took as my date to my friend's R and E.'s wedding last year was in town for the bike ride and cookout, and I hadn't seen him in forever. Of course, I was there for about a half hour before G. called and a woman, C. who was in town for the weekend called me right after that. So, I didn't get to talk to him for very long, but it was nice to catch up a little.

I picked up G. and D. and headed for the Dublin. There was a conference in town for a particular academic area of interest, and all the people from it came down to the bar. Some of them were playing pool and one of the girls looked really familiar. I couldn't quite place her, so I didn't say anything, but then G. came up to me and said, "Hey, that girl M. says she works with you." Doh! I felt so rude. I went right over and apologized to her for not saying hi, but she was super cool about it. One of the guys she was with started talking to me. He was also with his "it's complicated" girlfriend (his words). He talked about what he did and where he was from and asked me where I was from. I never know how to answer that, so I said I went to high school in Ottumwa.

"Oh, do you know our friend, S? She's from Ottumwa..."

"Um. I doubt it. She's probably a lot younger than me."

"No. She's in her late 20's," he said. I'm sure to him, that seemed really old.

"Yes, well. I'm much older than that."

"How about 'some guys name I can't remember'? He's like 36..." I assured him I was even older than that. He then started talking about his relationship with his girl in intimate detail, very loudly and right in front of her.

"I'm not sure you want to go into all that detail with someone you don't even know..." I said.

"No. You're exactly who I want to tell all this to. Since I don't know you, it's perfect...And you're wise."

"I wouldn't go assuming I'm wise, just because I'm old. I make more mistakes than anyone." (my new mantra)

"Are you married?" He asked.

"Nope. I'm divorced. See what I mean? Another mistake."

"I don't care. I want to talk to you about it anyway," he said and went into his whole history with his "it's complicated girl". That woman didn't seem to mind either. She listened for a minute and said she was going to some party and took off.

As I've said before, a lot of my girlfriends talk to me when they are having boy problems, but I don't seem to have a lot of male friends who are all that open about their relationships that way. It was actually very refreshing. Mostly, his girly was pushing him away, and then pulling him back over and over again. I didn't try to tell him what to do, I just listened and told him I understood how confusing and frustrating that could be. After he got it all out, I told him I had to go home so I could get up early and run. Then we did that thing that people do in this day and age: We said we'd friend each other on Facebook and I promised to tag him in the photos.

Triathlon Training:

I ran 34.1 miles this week. No biking. No swimming.

All These Places Had Their Moments

I thought you would all appreciate a picture of a cat fight. Sexy.

Y'all bitches better hold onto your hats, I feel a random post coming on. Today was even busier than usual, and my brain hasn't had time to settle, so I'm just going to get all ADD on your asses. Consider yourselves warned.

1.) Coadster had her last soccer game against a Cedar Rapids team who will go unnamed, but according to Coadster, those girls were evil and not very good sports either. I'm glad Coadster's team won their last game against some supposed hellions.

2.) Coadster also had her last choir concert right after that. I had to tear ass just to make it, and Coadster was forced to throw her hair in a ponytail and perform all sweaty. She had a solo for the Beatles' "In My Life" and she kicked ass, if I do say so.

3.) Next week Stinky has her last band concert and she's all pissed off that the 7th graders get to play "Smoke On the Water", while the eighth graders have to perform lame ass shit from High School Musical. I was thinking I might get some parents together and start a petition to introduce Judas Priest into the junior high band curriculum just to appease poor Stinky. I think it could fly, don't you?

4.) I realized that I wrote an entire post about my friend R.'s birthday on Saturday without a picture of him anywhere. Duh. So, here he is with all his hos touching his pickle. happy birthday, Rob.

His wife said that she had offered to pick him up from the bar on his birthday when he was ready to come home, but he opted to walk. When she saw him in the kitchen she asked him why he didn't call her and he responded something like, "I didn't want to bother you, but now I have to remember to call all my bitches back at the bar and tell them I made it home alright." Rob is a total fucking baller.

5.) I also forgot to post a photo of me bowling. I know I promised and my friend GW took one of me and everything, so here's my action Jackson shot. Thank god you can't see my face, I think we've had more than enough EXTREMELY unflattering photos of me making horrible faces on here lately and I apologize.

6.) While we're at it, here's me walking back all cocky after my first strike. That's right bitches, I got some strikes. Of course, I was totally inconsistent, so I got just as many gutter balls. Keep 'em guessing, that's what I always say.

7.) This guy was sitting on a bench outside The Atlas on Saturday night. If you ever want to make a bunch of money panhandling from overpriveledged frat boys, hold a sign like this. I've never seen rich kids from Chicago show so much compassion. This guy's cup literally runneth over. And as you can see, it wasn't because of his sparkling personality.

And You Could Just About Find a Freak Anywhere

Here is a picture of some leftovers in the hallway on the weekend of the state pool tournament.

So, today after work was just unbridled craziness. There was a track meet and then picking the other one up from soccer and then dropping that one back at school for the solo fest and then me going to the high school to witness said solo fest and then taking both girls to their dad's. Whew. Shit.

Hey, I'm kinda tired. I think I'll finally do that meme that Q tagged me for. I'll post the rules so you can see what I was supposed to do, and then you'll know exactly how I'm breaking them.

Here are the rules:

1. link the person who tagged you. Q

2. mention the rules in your blog…

3. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them. leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Here are my quirks:

1. When I was a kid I used to play with the cans in the pantry like dolls. You know, the giant Dinty Moore Stew can was the dad, the bigger soup can was the mom, the regular Campbell soup cans were the teenagers and the Bumble Bee tuna cans were the babies. Every once in a while when I walk past a pantry, I get the urge to go in and create a little world.

2. I have the ugliest feet ever. Is that a quirk, a disfigurement or just a turn-off? I know a lot of people think they have ugly feet, but those people haven't been running since they were 10 - the first five years in those flat basketball looking shoes.

3. I have an unnatural love of eating popcorn. I'm not sure if I could ever get tired of it. What? WHAT?!

4. I play with my hair a lot. Don't worry, I have a reason. You know me, I'm lousy with excuses. It's because it's super curly and it dreads up at the drop of a hat. When I straighten it, I still play with it, because then I have to make sure my edges aren't starting to frizz.

5. I love to make up stories about people I don't know in bars. If it's a couple, I try to imagine what their relationship is like by watching their interactions. When I worked at a coffee shop/ice cream joint called Great Midwestern, me and my friend Ben used to play, "guess the customer's situation" and make up all kinds of shit about unsuspecting coffee drinkers. It's actually pretty fun. You should try it sometime if you're bored and at a bus stop or wherever.

6. Everything. Do people really only have 6 unspectacular quirks, or is it just a way to limit it and keep bloggers from blathering on and on about how adorably quirky they are? Because you know how much I love to go on and on about how adorably quirky I am.

Okay. Now you can guess which part of the rules I ignored. Oh, and do this meme if you find yourself fancying it.

Running Over the Same Old Ground

Here are some flowers from our garden last year.

Tonight, I have no idea what the hell I'm going to write about. I hope you you're all excited to read the kind of disjointed post you've come to expect from me. I promise I won't disappoint.

I got to see Coadster for about a half an hour on her birthday. She had an out of town soccer game and didn't get home until 9:30. I'd start singing, "Cats in the Cradle" right now, but it might make me too sad. She said a friend of hers put a sign on her locker that said she was "halfway to thirty" and it made her feel old. Boy, that feeling starts young, doesn't it?

Do me a favor and remind me never to go out and drink beer on a Sunday night ever again. It kicked my ass the whole next day. I was supposed to meet some people on Monday evening, and I had to lame-out. Now, what was I just saying about feeling old?

Tomorrow, I'm going to get my ass out and work in the garden. We have so much to do, and the veggies aren't just going to grow themselves. I'm kind of excited because I haven't had my hands dirty in a long time, and I love most of K.'s neighbors. I get to see them a lot more in the Summer when I'm out there, so I have even more incentive to go out and get busy.

Well, that's all I'm capable of tonight. Was it random, and disjointed enough for you? If not, I'm sure I can do better on another night. In fact, you'll probably find out sooner than you want to.

You Know, There's Nothing Goin' Down at All, Not at All

I have no idea who this is standing in front of the saguaro, I just needed to be reminded that there are places in the world where the temps are not below zero right now.

Here's the deal, I was overcome by the stomach flu early today at work. I've been home, sleeping ever since. This will be a quick post, because this thing seems to be coming in waves. Which means, I feel okay now, but I have no idea when I'll suddenly start feeling dizzy and salivating and have to get up from the computer very, very fast. Also, my thoughts are even more disjointed than normal. If you're smart, you've never come to my blog looking for order or meaning, so you probably won't be disappointed today either.

It is still very, very cold outside. I think I'm feuding anew with that little bitch everyone else calls Winter. Even after I said all those nice things about her a week ago, she still won't let up. I'd almost rather be stuck at home puking all day then have to go outside and face her nastiness.

Now, here is something else totally unrelated: When I drove to the junior high tonight to pick up Stinky from her basketball game, I saw a man running down Glendale Street, (which is a very suburban/normal people type neighborhood) with his thumb in the air like he was trying to hitch a ride. Even though I used to hitch hike myself, I have a very strict policy about not picking up other hitchers...Unless, of course, they're really hot.

I guess that's it for me on here tonight. I have a date with my futon. We've been inseparable lately. I think I might actually have found my soulmate.