Monday, May 19, 2008

All These Places Had Their Moments

I thought you would all appreciate a picture of a cat fight. Sexy.

Y'all bitches better hold onto your hats, I feel a random post coming on. Today was even busier than usual, and my brain hasn't had time to settle, so I'm just going to get all ADD on your asses. Consider yourselves warned.

1.) Coadster had her last soccer game against a Cedar Rapids team who will go unnamed, but according to Coadster, those girls were evil and not very good sports either. I'm glad Coadster's team won their last game against some supposed hellions.

2.) Coadster also had her last choir concert right after that. I had to tear ass just to make it, and Coadster was forced to throw her hair in a ponytail and perform all sweaty. She had a solo for the Beatles' "In My Life" and she kicked ass, if I do say so.

3.) Next week Stinky has her last band concert and she's all pissed off that the 7th graders get to play "Smoke On the Water", while the eighth graders have to perform lame ass shit from High School Musical. I was thinking I might get some parents together and start a petition to introduce Judas Priest into the junior high band curriculum just to appease poor Stinky. I think it could fly, don't you?

4.) I realized that I wrote an entire post about my friend R.'s birthday on Saturday without a picture of him anywhere. Duh. So, here he is with all his hos touching his pickle. happy birthday, Rob.

His wife said that she had offered to pick him up from the bar on his birthday when he was ready to come home, but he opted to walk. When she saw him in the kitchen she asked him why he didn't call her and he responded something like, "I didn't want to bother you, but now I have to remember to call all my bitches back at the bar and tell them I made it home alright." Rob is a total fucking baller.

5.) I also forgot to post a photo of me bowling. I know I promised and my friend GW took one of me and everything, so here's my action Jackson shot. Thank god you can't see my face, I think we've had more than enough EXTREMELY unflattering photos of me making horrible faces on here lately and I apologize.

6.) While we're at it, here's me walking back all cocky after my first strike. That's right bitches, I got some strikes. Of course, I was totally inconsistent, so I got just as many gutter balls. Keep 'em guessing, that's what I always say.

7.) This guy was sitting on a bench outside The Atlas on Saturday night. If you ever want to make a bunch of money panhandling from overpriveledged frat boys, hold a sign like this. I've never seen rich kids from Chicago show so much compassion. This guy's cup literally runneth over. And as you can see, it wasn't because of his sparkling personality.


-RM said...

I'm sure the secret is now out. Hobos everywhere that read your blog will now have that as their new sign!

Remiman said...

But can he bowl?

Remiman said...

But can he bowl?

Poptart said...

Holy shit that guy is hilarious!!! I woke up in the middle of the night and: perfect! you crack me up by a) calling us bitches more than once in the post and b) this freaker guy.

Was he nice about you taking a picture, and just flipped you the bird for effect? Did you say "This is for my blog"?

evil-e said...

I would totally give that guy money simply for the originality aspect of it.

I was going to comment on this the other day in regards to the bowing photos....nice legs, the running does pay off..seriously.

I think more schools should encourage the performing of classic metal. Let those young ones perform some Maiden--they can practice those very high notes.

dmarks said...

-rm: Yes, thanks to railroad companies putting free wifi in all empty boxcars, hobos have now crossed the digitial divide.

I have some spsm emails I can forward to that guy that might help this problem.

Evil-E: So, how many times have you seen "School of Rock" ?

AlienCG said...

I would have to give that guy money too. Forget all that, "Will work for food," crap. This is much better.

You're looking all sexy in those fashionable bowling shoes. Rrrrowr.

heather! anne! said...

I am much better at Wii bowling than actual bowling. You would kick my ass!

Tara said...

Hell, pass that petition around for Judas Priest songs and we'll start signing!

Congrats to Coadster for winning the game AND singing her solo! That is impressive multitasking!

And thank you for the cat fight photo. :D

NoRegrets said...

I heard on the radio that the average panhandler income is $15/hr. Wonder how they figured THAT out.

Bowling in a miniskirt - you go girl!

NoRegrets said...

OH, ps, love the cat fight thing. VERY sexy.

Minyo said...

So many aspects of your post deserve comments. Cute kittens, way to go Coadster, Stinky...bummer about the lame songs. I play in our city band and we still play lame songs sometimes.

And the guy with the sign? priceless! Bonus points for originality! He must not have had much luck with the "will work for food" sign and now he's an entrepreneur!

fringes said...

Our marketing dept could use a guy like Mr Panhandler.

booda baby said...

That was a stroke of panhandling genius. How could you NOT give generously?

laura b. said...

Another great post, chock full of Churlita-y goodness! Like, not really good for you, but you totally don't care because you feel so good afterward!

Churlita said...


He'll start a new panhandling trend.


I'm sure if he could, he wouldn't be anywhere near as inconsistent as me.


Actually, he was a good guy and totally posed for that shot. I, of course, threw some money in his cup too.


Thanks. They're still blindingly white, but I'm Irish.

I think the marching bad should play Maiden and Eddie can be the new school mascot. It would be awesome.


I think it would be great to see homeless people walking around with laptops in their shopping carts.


Ha ha. Yeah, nobody looks good in bowling shoes...Especially not me.

Heather Anne,

I doubt it. I was 2nd to last in my little bowling group, but I think I was number one in the alley for making people channel Stevie Nicks, and really, what's more important?


I though you'd appreciate that cat fight pic.


Thanks. I use every opportunity I can to look ridiculous, apparently.

What kind of benefits do panhandlers get?


I know. He could easily get a job with a lot of businesses.

Booda Baby,

Exactly. I know he got some of my cash.


So, you're saying reading my blog is like eating a donut?

Churlita said...


Sorry I missed yours. Yeah, that will work for food sign is pretty played out. I like to see people using their creativity.

MrManuel said...

Maybe the best sign I have ever seen....

Churlita said...


I know, right?