Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm Competing With the Man of Steel

So, you know how I'm always dancing like an idiot when I go out? (see photo illustration of me eighties dancing above) Well, maybe it's better than if I actually sit down and try to have a conversation with someone. Here is one example of why I should just shut up and dance:

Me: (to guy sitting next to me at the bar) Hey, I didn't see you at all last weekend. Were you out of town?

Guy: No. I decided to stay home and watch DVD's.

Me: Cool. What did you watch?

Guy: Um, well...Babylon 5.

Me: Really? Are you kind of a geek? I didn't know you were geeky like that...(noticing his reaction and trying to fix things) Wait. I'm a total geek, so I'm saying it like it's a good thing. You know, like we might have lots to talk about.

Guy: Oh, okay. So, what's the geekiest thing about yourself?

Me: Uh, everything. I play video games, I love comic books, I have a blog...Do you want me to keep going, or are you going to tell me the geekiest thing about yourself?

Guy: The geekiest thing about me is that I have a theory about Superman where I think he's the perfect existential hero.

Me: Oh, you're a Superman guy. Most guys I know who are into Superman as opposed to Batman tend to be a little more anal.

Guy: Wait. You judge guys on their favorite comic book characters? That's the geekiest thing I've ever heard...

Me: I know. I already admitted to you that I was a geek, so you can't keep giving me shit about it. I think that's against the law.

Guy: So, I'm assuming you're a Batman fan...

Me: Hell, yeah. He's got that darker edge to him and all those super cool gadgets. Plus, he could totally kick Superman's ass in a fight.

Guy: I'll give you that. We already know that Batman has kryptonite that he can use against Superman anytime he wants.

Me: Exactly, but I'm totally willing to buy your existentialist Superman theory as long as you can admit that Batman is much cooler.

Later on this same guy told me I scared him a little (I get that a lot). When I asked him why, he said that I had this aggravating quality about me that made him want to punch me and kiss me at the same time and he wished that he didn't find it so attractive.

I replied to his statement by asking, "So, what you're really trying to say is that I'm overwhelmingly charming?"

After hesitating WAY too long, he said, "Um, yeah. Sure. Whatever."


Remiman said...

How come it took him so long to figure you out?

evil-e said...

I have been told by many that though I can be a bit unapproachable based on appearance (I don't smile a lot)that I have a way of "geeking" my way into people's heads. I never come on super strong but I have a way of sticking in one's head. This was told to me in different wording by a couple of exes.

dmarks said...

The Babylon 5 seasons used to cost over $100, and suddenly were at Best Buy a few weeks ago for $19.99. I guess he must have stocked up on them.

The Superman vs Batman thing reminds me of some guys I overheard in the line at "Iron Man" arguing over which is the better car: the Batmobile or Speed Racer's Mach 5.

AlienCG said...

I have a theory about the Smurfs, how geeky is that?

I have no idea why this guy was afraid of you. He was geeky enough to where you two should have gotten along. Now compare pocket protectors and shake hands.

jenny said...

That sounds like just about the best bar conversation I could imagine. Now if you tell us he dances, too, that will make him darn near irresistible.

-RM said...

You get a strong, attractive, smart woman and guys get intimidated...what pussies!

Mr Atrocity said...

I think you know that we all love your geekier than thou attitude. We wouldn't be here otherwise now would we?

fringes said...

Did you give him your blog address?

fringes said...

Did you give him your blog address?

Margaret said...

girl, it unnerves men when you announce you think they're more into anal than you based on their hero worship of a unitard wearing super-freak

Tara said...

Being frustratingly charming is a good quality. That should keep em guessing, right? ;)

another good thing said...

Overwhelmingly too good for HIM.

DJSassafrass said...

I just laughed outloud at that exchange.

booda baby said...

I think he just got stuck at the vocabulary. Maybe you could have tried: So, what you're really trying to say is that I'm kapow and bam?

Susan said...

I'm pretty sure that means he wants you to be his dominatrix.

I have a diagram regarding HeMan and SheRa. Now that's geeky.

Poptart said...

When was this?! you are on the make, I think. Was he cute, even? And hell, no, you should always have real conversations AND dance. It's a good combo.

Churlita said...


Yeah. I don't know. I'm usually so mysterious...Not.


And they said that like it was a good thing, right?


Once again, the Batmobile trumps Speed Racer's car.


I heard this whole spiel about the Smurfs representing Nazis once. How different is your theory?


I did make him dance, of course. I told my girlfriends I'd get him up and dancing and they commended me after they saw him dancing to "Girls Just Wanna have Fun", Maybe that's why he wanted to punch me...


I know.


Oh, hell no. I don't give that out to just anyone.

Mr Atrocity,

Thank you. I really do have a geekier than thou attitude.


Ha ha ha ha ha ha.


That's what I think. Apparently, not everyone agrees.




I'm glad my conversations with boys amuse you. Too bad I'm funny for all the wrong reasons.

Bodda Baby,

Gos, I wish I was as clever as you. i would love to be able to think of those things like that.


Shut up. I love HeMan and SheRa.


Duh. I though we were both on the make, you and I. He was 27 - too young for me. I had to have a little talk with him about why we couldn't date and then he was all cold to me the next time I saw him. Whatever.

laura b. said...

Forget those Batman and Superman guys...get yourself one who is into Mr. Furious. haha!

NoRegrets said...

YOu are a geek. He's a geek. Batman is cooler than superman, but Iron Man rocks. Or at least Robert Downey Jr. does...

Chance said...

I think where the "aggravating" thing came was when, after you heard he had a Superman theory, you started talking about how Batman was better instead of saying, "Really? tell me about it."

evil-e said...

It has been said in a good way, just in different terms or in that "X factor" way.

Churlita said...


I know. I totally need to open myself to other options.


Mmmmm. Robert Downey Junior.


Eh, he told me all about it too after I flipped him shit, but I didn't have enough room to lay that all out for you. It wouldn't be all that surprising to you anyway, I bet.


Ah. It's cool to have an X factor, don't you think?