Thursday, May 22, 2008

That's Just a Little Bit More Than the Law Will Allow

Here are some flowers up against a wall.

As seems to be the usual for my Wednesday evening post, it's late and I'm tired, so this will be quick. Tonight is my childless night and so I did my supper club gig at Shakespeare's with some girls and had a great talk and ate greasy food and drank a soda. All of which were wonderful.

After that, I headed down to the Dublin where I had my two beers and hung out with some funny guys and my friend J., who I love. I can't remember how, but we got on the subject of how we refer to our private girl or boy parts (you know how you do that in bars sometimes). The owner said he called his a pecker and I told him I thought that was non-threatening and pretty tame. Most of the guys agreed that they usually used the term cock because that was a little more sexy. J. and I were joking about calling our girl parts cooches. The boys seemed to like that term, although Scooter, the bartender said he had a hard time calling it a cooter because it made him think of The Dukes of Hazzard. I definitely had to agree with him. Imagining someone calling it a "C-c-cooter" is sooo not sexy.

Well, kids. I think it's time to end this quaint little bed time story and call it a night (or whatever you feel comfortable calling it). The end.


Remiman said...

I was just schlonging along 'til she snatched me up.

evil-e said...

I really have not thought about what mine is called.

Say "twat"?

Those conversations come up all the time while at bars for some reason. I think possibly because people tend to be more relaxed (drunk) and because the cloud of sexual harassment is not hanging overhead. If people could have that talk at work they would. Also, there are usually no kids around.

Poptart said...

When I was little, my mom called it a "wee-wee-er" - which covered things for both me and my brother. We went to proper terms eventually, though we didn't talk about it much. (I will have to ask her about that - that is a funny-ass word!)

During sex, there is a whole other problem of what to call things without sounding like you are trying to hard to be dirty or are too much of a prude. I think I've had that discussion with most people I've dated.

Poptart said...

"too" hard, I meant. Crap, it's early.

And EEEW, evil-e - twat!

NoRegrets said...

I've always thought I wanted those flowers but I like them better in other people's yards.

Tara said...

My sister-in-law used to call a man's parts "naughty bits". For a woman, I've heard "hoo-hah" and "coochie". A coworker's mom was working at a doctor's office and she got a call from a woman who's name was Coochie. She had to put her on hold while she cracked up laughing.

Susan said...

I guess I'm disconnected from that part of my body unless in the throws of..I guess passion...and then who knows what I might say.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

I think I must be like Susan...I can't recall having to refer to my girly parts and therefore don't have a general term I use. I know my mom called it a cooter when I was growing up. I think I might just say "down there" when I need to make a reference.

I call my little boys' parts pee-pees since it's easy to say and should be understandable to someone outside our family (like grandma or a doctor) if they need to talk about it.

laura b. said...

With my kids, I taught them to just say 'penis' and 'vagina', because...well, we don't have funny names for any other body parts! I'm boring like that.

I am too shy to share the grown up bedroom talk names here!

-RM said...

Hmm...other than dick and pussy, I have no cute names for it. I can also use cock, but seriously, I rarely refer to those body parts...unless I'm in the action, and then I just go off what the girl says.

Mr Atrocity said...

Didn't Oprah coin the term "va-jay-jay" which is jut plain hilarious - neither cute nor sexy, just daft?

AlienCG said...

I haven't heard any other names besides the ones mentioned here. I have heard this conversation on many occasions.

MrManuel said...

Greasy food rules!!!

Stepping over the Junk said...

ha. my friend calls hers a "puse-kit" which I think is gross

Churlita said...


Oh my god. That was perfect.


Yeah, you're right. When I worked in kitchens and bars we always talked about that kind of stuff. But not at the office. The office is so boring for that.


Yeah. We all had to think what we called it under different circumstances. It was pretty funny.


They're not my favorties either, but they are very dramatic.


Really? What kind of sick person names their kid Coochie? That's so mean.


Sex talk is a whole different story. We didn't discuss that much. It was more laughing at all the dorky names we could come up with.


My youngest daughter has always called it her privates. I kind of like that.


It's cute how why you are. I love that about you.


We all thought pussy was about the dirties without being really crude. Who remembers what they say during sex. I certainly don't...Thank god.

Mr Atrocity,

Daft is a perfect description of that term.


It's always funny bar talk, isn't it?

Mr Manuel,

Who you tellin'?


I agree. That just sounds obscene.