Here's a picture of Libby's dog, licking it up.
Well, kids. It's the end of my glorious three day weekend and I'm trying to clean things up and get ready for the work day. What that means for all y'all, is that I'm posting some texts I've either sent or received before I delete them. If you've read one of these kinds of posts before, you'll recall that it's usually dirty and wrong and less attractive than Kiss without their make-up in the "Lick it Up" video. Remember, unless they're grouped together, these texts stand on their own and aren't attached to the one above or below. Ready? Okay!
1) Maybe he'll be back. Sometimes that happens and you wind up shaving in the Dublin bathroom! I might be back. S. keeps farting by me.
2.) He's makin tatr salad n chickn. So anything.
3.)This is an exchange.
1st Texter: Grassy Ass.
2nd texter: I love it when u speak Iowa Spanish.
1st texter: It makes me seem hotter don't u think?
4.) I have 20 new boyfriends. It must be bar close.
5.) Spayshul! U got cute boyz movin in next door.
6.) Good. I meant every word. Even if I did sound like Corky from "Life Goes On."
7.) This next exchange was the day after a drunk text from a boy at bar close who lives 5 hours from me and told me he was going to start driving to see me. After I reminded him that he probably was too drunk to drive, he told me he'd try to drive down the next day. I got this the next afternoon when he woke up with a belly full of shame:
Him: Needless to say but I won't be making it tonight. I'm hoping for a longer stay in the very near future. Promise.
Me: Ha ha. I kept waiting for you to get here 5 hours after u texted. Just kidding.
Him: I know u did... Liar.
8.) U were sexxxy with 3 xs.
9.) What's up douche?
10.) 1st texter: GW gave me shit that most of those pics were of u n me but she took most of them so I flipped that shit right back at her.
2nd texter: Ha ha! its not our fault that our dance moves are mesmerizing.
11.) I'll let u know when to start feeling shame - u've got a lot of making up to do in the slut arena. better do it now rathr than in the nursing home.
12.) I'm like a Paris Hilton porno shot in night vision in those pics. Ugh.