It seems many single blogging women have been writing posts about how frustrating the dating situations are in each of their towns lately. Not to be left behind, I thought I'd add to the noise and give a couple amens and a "can I get a witness?" right along with them.
On Saturday night during our little dance party, somebody played the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want". Our friend Matt who was dancing, sang it very loudly like this, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you find..." We, of course, gave him tons of shit for using the wrong lyrics and all sang it like that too, until he told us to fuck off and then we sang it even louder. Matt's version of the song kind of sums up my "dating" life for the last few months. You know, I'm kind of just getting what I can find. Which isn't to say that what I've found is bad, it's just not necessarily what I want or need. Oh, and before everyone starts giving me shit, I'm really not looking that hard either. I go out and have fun. If I meet an interesting guy, great. If not, my friends are so awesome, I don't really think about stinky boys that much. So, I'll just kind of do a roll call thing of the few guys I've been currently dealing with, or not dealing with, as the case may be.
1.) Last week, I think I finally got to that great place where everyone wants to be with their most recent ex - over him completely and totally. There was one last death rattle of angst and annoyance about whatever shit did and didn't happen and that whole feeling like an idiot, for even trying with someone who was so obviously wrong for me in retrospect. Ultimately, though, I had to ask myself if I had fun and if I learned some important stuff and the answer to both of those questions was a resounding yes. So, I've let it go and reached that break-up nirvana place of indifference. It's over, I can't even be pissed off about anything, really, and I hope he finds someone he can be happy with. The end. NEXXXXXT!
2.) I've also been wrestling with what to do about Mr. Awesome. We've been drunk texting and calling a lot in the last month or two and all of that has been, uh, awesome, but it's still never crossed over to the sober texting and calling level. He always says he's going to and every call and text session seems to go the same way. He talks about how great he thinks I am and how much he wants to make things work, and then he goes into all the challenges we face. His big concerns are the fact that we live in different towns (he's an hour away) and that he has custody of his son and how he's very careful about what he does because of that, and the fact that he works a lot. He's afraid to bring someone else into that mix. No one's going to understand all that better than me. So, I tell him that we should just be friends and leave it at that. Then he'll tell me that it still feels worth it to him to try and that he'll call me the next day when he's sober, and then, of course, never does. After we talked for a while on Friday night, he asked me why I was still putting up with his shit. At the time, I couldn't quite express it, but I waited until the next day when I was sober and called him and left a voice mail message to try to let him know why, after all this time, I'm still trying to wade through all the bullshit.
What I told him in WAY less detail than I'm telling you, is this: When I met him last Thanksgiving weekend in Fort Madison, he really was the first guy in forever who just blew me away. Most guys I meet all seem so intent on being some kind of persona - they're either Mr Intellectual, or Mr. Artist, or Mr. Scenester or Mr. Successful and I hate all that crap. Mr. Awesome got his name because he was real. He was funny, smart, cool, fun, and he could not only admit he had feelings, he was able to express exactly how he felt about me without any game playing. How fucking refreshing was that? Crazy. Even though we spent several hours hanging out that night and my friend K. (who has known him since high school) has been able to tell me a lot about what kind of person he is, I haven't seen him since then. So, as far as I know, he could be a thief, or an alcoholic, or a serial killer or even worse, really bad in bed and I would never know...Until it was too late.
So, anyway. I put myself out there. I left him a voicemail message to tell him why I've put up with his bullshit. He texted me and told me that it was the sweetest voicemail ever, but no other communication since then. I figure, I tried. If he's interested, he'll call me when he's sober sometime. If not, like I said before, at least I met a guy who had almost all the qualities I want in a man. So, maybe there are others out there like him, who would actually be interested in me when they were sober too. It's possible, you know. Have I mentioned to you all that I'm a sucker for false hope?
3.) There have been a few other boys out there who I've hung out with, but they've either been too young, or lived too far away, or just haven't been relationship material. I'm certainly not writing anyone off, I'm just trying to be realistic.
I guess what I've found lately are some great guys who I've had fun with, learned from and who I hope will end up being my friends, if nothing else. Originally, I thought this might a little whiny post about not being able to find relationship material, but really, I feel pretty lucky about my dating experiences of late. Who knew? Maybe I should let out a hallelujah!, instead of those amens and "that can I get a witness?".