Between the Noise You Hear and the Sound You Like

Here is an old pic. I'm at the jukebox, picking out songs, which is one of my favorite things to do.

Well, kids. This will be a short and boring post. I didn't do a lot today but ride my bike, run and drive Stinky around to her assorted events. It was a fine day, just boring. I like boring, but it doesn't make for a very good blog post.

One good thing...A while back a friend of mine gave me a DVD of like 700 songs of new music. At the time, my home computer couldn't play it, so I tried to listen to it at work, but I could never have it loud enough to really hear the songs very well. I was able to download it into my new computer and I can't tell you how nice it is to have so much new music. It makes cleaning and reading and putzing around the house a million times better.

Things Replace Things, Days Replace Days

Dude. I am so out of pictures right now.

Oh, kids, It was another one of those Monday nights. The kind where I basically got off work, rode my bike, ran, ate, and rode my bike for much of the rest of the night. In other words, it was perfect.

This week, I went down to the Dublin only to find that it was just myself and JS riding. I asked him if he still wanted to go and he said he did. I texted my friend Bry to find out where the hell he was. He called me back and said he thought that no one else was going, so he went on his own. He was already in Hills, but told me he'd wait for us to get there.

JS and I had a great talk on our ride. I met him when I was 22, but he moved to Boston shortly after, and just moved back into town this month. So, we know a lot of the same people from college and chatted about art and politics and biking and cross country skiing. The headwind was a killer, but it was good for me to try to keep up with JS in that wind.

When we got to the restaurant, I decided I was going to drink a margarita. JS ordered some food, and tequila because he had promised our friend G. that we would toast her and her broken toes and possible broken foot. The bartender was happy to see us. He asked us where Bry was. He wanted to listen to me flip him some more shit and was worried that wasn't going to happen. Bry finally showed up. He said he had gone back to hide and when we rode by, he was going to sneak up behind us and scare us, but then he never saw us ride past. So, basically, Bry is a big fat dork.

We all had a nice ride back and planned our next ride on Sunday night next week. Since it will be Labor Day and our friend Ellen will be in town, we decided we'd do a longer ride and stop off at a park by the river and have a fire. JS asked me if I'd want to hang out before then, and I told him sure and just to call me and let me know when he was going down to the Dublin or whatever. It's always good to reconnect with an old friend...Especially one who likes to ride bikes and helps you give your friend Bry a hard time.

Now They Hit You Like an Imaginary Pillow Fight

Here are the switch covers at my daughter's dorm room.

Oh, kids. I went back to my old ways this weekend and got pretty internal. It wasn't bad. I actually needed to just chill out and not socialize so much this weekend.

I got home from work and Coadster was already home. It was great to see her. I had her order a pizza and I went running. When I came back, we ate and started watching Zombieland together. She left halfway through to go see the play her dad directed at the high school. I picked Stinky up from work and hung out with her for a bit before she went to her boyfriend's house.

Saturday, I got up and took Coadster downtown so she could go meet my boss' wife for coffee. I went running and then when I got back, I had to take the girls to the big scary maul. Their contract was up, so they wanted to change out their phones. The woman who helped us was a little TOO friendly. She called me "Mama Bear" and since I was wearing my Wolverine t-shirt, she took out a Thor sticker and told me we should have a battle. "Or you could just do your job, and transfer shit onto the new phones and I could leave the mall before my skin starts burning..." Don't worry. I didn't say that out loud. I guess I do have a filter after all. Who knew?

I didn't go out on Saturday night either. Instead, my friend D. came over to borrow some movies and we sat on my porch for a while and she filled me in on what had been going on in her life the last couple of weeks. It was very nice. Now, that I can see the end of the warm weather, I feel like I need to spend as much time as possible outside while I still can.

Today I woke up and felt kind of drained. I thought it was because I was dehydrated during my run, but even after I got home and drank everything I could find in the fridge, I still felt run down. I decided to listen to my body and paced myself. I cleaned for an hour and read for an hour and alternated on and off most of the day. It worked out pretty well. My house looks pretty good and I'm almost done reading Angelology. Win/win.

Wise Folks Count Their Blessings, Fools Count Their Problems

Here is another pic of a zinnia. Sorry, I lost most of my pics when my last computer died. So, you get to see another zinnia.

Wow. This week just flew by. I forget how much less sleep I get when I have to get up early every morning. So, tonight I'm exhausted and thinking about the weekend.

I've been reading the book Angelology by a graduate of our writer's workshop here. It's really good. If you read The Historian, it's similar to that but more interesting, better written and thankfully not so verbose. It's been hard to put down.

Coadster called me tonight and said she had found a ride home, so we'll get to see her this weekend. It's been almost two weeks. That's the longest I've ever been away from her in her life. Weird. Stinky and I are so excited to see her.

I'm not sure what else I'm doing this weekend. I'm thinking I'll try to go on a longer run after work tomorrow, then just stay home and chill out and read and/or watch a movie.

Saturday, I'll run some more and spend as much time with my girls as possible, while still trying to get things done. I'm not quite sure what I'll do Saturday night. We had talked about going canoeing/kayaking early on Sunday morning, but it seemed like everyone was laming out. If it happens, I'll try to get to sleep as early as possible. If it doesn't happen, I'll probably hang out with some friends for a bit.

How about you all? Will you have a homecoming this weekend, or will you find yourself floating down a river?

Big Hands I Know You're the One

Here is a gladiola from my garden that broke off from its stem. I put it in some flowering shubbery, so I could take a pic of it.

This week has been WAY too social for me. Tonight I mowed that woman's lawn after work. She stopped me and told me I'm making her retirement so much nicer. Which was great to hear, especially since she does such necessary volunteer work with her time. She normally likes to hang out and talk after I mow, but I had to hurry. I told my friend James I'd meet him at 7.


My zinnias finally bloomed. Next year I'm planting a lot more and a lot earlier in the season.

When I got to the Java House, James was sitting outside. He warned me that it was over air conditioned and freezing inside. I told him I was starving anyway, and we decided to go to a bar called George's for sliders and a couple of beers. We had only been able to hang out once in the last couple of years, so it was great to see him.

He's getting married in October and he talked about how stressful that was with all the planning and dealing with families. Then he asked me if I was dating anyone. I told him about the near misses I've had the last couple of years of trying to date - or as I like to call it, dodging bullets. We had a good laugh or 4,759 at some of the stories I told. Not to be outdone, he talked about the psycho ex-girlfriend he dated before he met his fiance' and his adventures in on-line dating. (one woman showed up on the date wearing a wedding ring - talk about your red flags). As we were getting ready to leave, I asked him if he felt better about getting married after talking to me. He just laughed some more. I'll take that as a yes.

Brainstorm, Take Me Away From the Norm

Here is some fruit ripening on the vine.

A couple of Sunday evenings ago, we sat on the porch and ate and talked about how out of place we felt at the downtown bars full of college kids. We were both at new stages in our lives. A year ago she had been with the love of her life, making plans with him for all of the things they were going to do when her son got better. Her fiance got sick and died within a few months and now her son was better, and she had to make new plans. I could rarely make plans in the past, because my oldest daughter did so many activities and I had an unreliable ex. Now, my oldest daughter was away at college and my youngest daughter didn't have quite the agenda of the eldest.

So, it was, that my friend and I both found ourselves single, with more time on our hands than we were used to. We kicked around alternatives to the downtown bar scene. I wasn't able to do half of her list, because I didn't have the finances she had and she crossed off about half of my list, because she wasn't quite as outdoorsy or introspective as I am (I'm sure very few people are), so camping or fishing, or sitting by herself reading and writing didn't really appeal to her.

Even discounting our various ideas, our combined list was pretty large. We agreed on going to a vineyard a ways out of town that had wine tasting and Friday night music, kicked around joining a group in town that rented a pottery studio and did ceramics on given evenings, day kayaking/canoeing trips, running 5K's, getting her into biking, getting our women friends together to check out a cute little restaurant with outdoor seating a town or two away from us, showing outdoor movies on a screen at her house, possibly helping each other with house projects and I had never tailgated at a football game and wanted to try that out for the first time this Fall. It felt good to be overwhelmed with options.

By the Light of the Silvery Moon

My new computer is being a little funky tonight and won't let me post pics right now. So, this will just be quick to say I had a great night. I rode my bike home, ran my 4 mile route, ate some food and then rode my bike down to the Dublin to meet friends for a longer bike ride to a little town called Hills. It was my friend G. and I, along with 3 other guys we know. It was such a nice ride.

When we got to Hills, we stopped at the Mexican restaurant/bar. Since it was a Monday, there were only a couple of other guys there. We sat around and gave each other a hard time. At one point, the bartender asked my friend Bry, "Why don't you come back next time with your REAL friends..."

And we all asked, "What friends?"

My favorite bartender S. met us there for a drink. Then everyone decided to mess with me. Even the cooks who were off work and waiting for rides home had a good laugh at my expense. Happy to be of service.

We rode home in the light of the almost full moon. My friend Bry talking shit to me the whole way, while I tried not to laugh so hard I crashed my bike. When I was getting ready to finally go home, our friend JS. made G. and I promise that we'd join them next week. Who was I to say no?

Don't Wanna Be a Loner

Here is a pic from a couple of weeks ago...Since I don't have any from this weekend.

Sooo, this weekend was good. I'm a little sad that I'm back to working full weekdays again, but I had a nice run of vacation while it lasted.

On Friday, my computer arrived. Stinky and her boyfriend were right on it, putting it together and getting the wireless router going the minute it got here. Yea! for teenagers who have those skillz. I got Stinky fed and finally went out and caught the tail end of girl evening. They all went out right after work, but I couldn't do that. It's kind of better this way, though. I have my two drinks and catch right up to them. My favorite bartender, S. made me a Mojito with some fresh mint and my other friend C. paid him for it. Then C. told me and H. all about his and his wife's trip to Italy. If I ever win the lotto, Italy is so on the list of places I want to visit.

The guys had all gone on their own guy night and came down and were good and saucy and full of shit. I had been ready to go, but I stayed a bit longer because they were making me laugh so hard. I finally decided to take off. I gave R. a ride home, because his wife had left earlier and then I went home and watched the movie Date Night. There were a couple of slower moments in it and others where I laughed out loud, sitting by myself.

Saturday was a crazy productive day for me. I ran and worked in the garden and mowed the lawn and cleaned a lot of my house and did my recycling and hung my laundry out on the line. It's the first time in years that I've done laundry. That was Coadster's chore, and now that she's gone, it fell to me. I REALLY didn't want to go out that night. G. called me and asked if she could come over and hang out. I made a fire and she brought over ice cream cake and we just did some porch sitting and I drank a couple of beers. Just what I needed.

Today I gave myself a little break. I didn't get out to run until the afternoon and it was hot and humid and wiped me out a little. So, when I got done, I let myself hang out on the porch and finish my book. I came back in and did some cleaning and made some food for the week and for dinner tonight. There isn't much better than BLT's with fresh tomatoes and corn on the cob.

Now, I have to get ready for my work week. I'm probably going on a bike ride with some folks after work tomorrow, so I'm glad I got so much done this weekend.

Come Down Now, They'll Say

Cheesy Charlie's Angels pose. This was our guy friend's idea. Of course.

I felt a million times better last night. I got a lot done, and since it was Stinky's first day of school, I helped her with her Spanish homework too.

This weekend is kind of up for grabs. I think I will meet some girls for drinks this evening,b ut get home early. I want to get a ton of stuff done around my house this weekend. My focus all Summer was to have fun and get Coadster off to college. Now, though...It's time to pay the piper and get shit taken care of.

I'm starting out by doing an intense, end of Summer cleaning and some yard work, but then it's back to the house projects in earnest.

The computer is supposed to come today. If it gets delivered before Stinky gets home from school to sign for it, we'll have to wait until tomorrow, but at least we'll have it for most of the weekend.

How about you all? Will you be getting stuff done around the house, or will you be distracted by your fresh connection to the internets?

Every Evening and Every Day, Seem to Always Turn Out This Way

This is from a town called Colfax that is experiencing some nasty flooding right now.

Well, kids. Yesterday was kind of weird. At one point in the morning, I looked in the mirror and noticed HUGE dark circles under my eyes...No. Even worse than normal. I had actually slept alright the night before, so I wasn't sure what that was from.

Here is a junkyard under water.

Then in the afternoon, I found out. That's right. Stomach flu. I made it to the end of the day and rode my bike home, but then I was on the couch for the rest of the evening, with a lovely fever and feeling totally dehydrated from losing my lunch and possibly some other meals and snacks too.

Here is a sign selling land that is covered with water....So, river bottom.

I finally started feeling better closer to bed time, so I read My Antonia. The great thing about reading a book that was published in 1918, is that you see sentences like this: "'Very glad, very glad!' She ejaculated." without even the hint of a smirk. That's okay. I smirked enough for the whole world when I read it.

So, I'm feeling better today, back at work and still waiting for my damn computer to show.

She Comes Back to Tell Me She's Gone

The girls in Coadster's dorm room.

This will again be very brief, as I am furtively blogging from work right now. Still no computer at home yet. I'm hoping for today, but it could still be tomorrow.

Coadster has some unpacking to do...

So, we took the girl to college yesterday. I didn't really cry....Much. I did tear up a little right as we hugged goodbye and left her bounding up the stairs to her dorm room. I told her to have a great time, learn from her mistakes and not to beat herself up about stuff. She laughed and said, "Of course, I'll beat myself up about stuff. That's what I do..." But I can still remind her not to, can't I?

What the hell? Her dorm room is pretty sweet.

I know she's ready for college and I'm so happy for her. I have to say, it was a little lonely waking up this morning and not seeing her. It's not like she moved far away, though. She might be back for Labor Day weekend and if not then, she'll for sure come back for the Iowa/Iowa State game. Until that time, there's always Skype...Once my computer ever gets here.

Stealing Down a Wrong Way Street

This will be short. The car is packed and we're ready to take off in the morning. It will be a quick unload, because Stinky has to work at 5, but still wanted to go with to say goodbye to her sister. This will be REALLY hard on Stinky. As much as they drive each other crazy, my girls are very close and Stinky will be pretty lost without her...As will I. Stinky and I are more alike and Coadster is a little more...Uptight, probably isn't the right word...Controlling? No. Stinky and I are fairly laidback about things in general, and Coady is...Not. She's a good balance for us, because she makes sure things get done a certain way. Plus, she's the only one of us who has a sense of direction. Without her, we could spend a lot of time driving around in circles. Just kidding. Really though, it will take some time to get used to dealing with the loss of her family contribution.

We finished up the shopping for Coadster today. I think my favorite teenager line today was, "I wouldn't normally get that, but since you're buying, sure, I'll take one." Awesome.

Okay. The next time I write here, I'll be one child short in my house. I got a computer update today too. They shipped it off and I should get it in the next couple of days. I just hope one of us is here to sign for it when it does get here.

There's a Time When Every Girl Learns to Use Her Head

One of these days, my computer will arrive. Until it does, I'm still a lame blogger.

This weekend was great. Friday we went school shopping, while dodging thunderstorms. I decided to stay in and hang out with my daughters and Stinky's boyfriend that night. It's weird to think that was our last Friday with Coadster as a full-time house resident. I made grilled cheese sandwiches and we watched a movie together and it was exactly what I wanted.

On Saturday I was productive. I ran and mowed my lawn and did some other yard work and some cleaning and scrubbed the lovely green mold off the siding in the front of my house. In the evening, I cleaned myself up and picked up my friends and we had a really nice dinner at the Motley Cow. A friend of mine owns it, and I used to hang out there quite a bit a few years ago. I still know some people who work there and the food and margaritas were wonderful. Best of all, the company and conversation were perfect. We were originally going to go dancing, but none of us were really up for it. We went to the Dublin instead and that was nice, but I was ready to go. When my friend told me she thought she'd stay out late and play pool, and I didn't need to wait around for her, I took off. I was exhausted.

I woke up today and the weather was incredible. The woman called and asked if I'd mow her lawn today. I hadn't planned on it, but I just dropped the other projects I had planned and got it done. I went to the store and then made my first batch of homemade pesto sauce. I love this time of year, when I can just go out to the garden and pick some organic basil right out of the garden and everything is so fresh. I went to my friend's house for a BBQ, with my friend Eggo, her husband and her son. It was such a nice evening.

I had to skip out early, because I promised Stinky and her boyfriend that we could watch scary movies outside on the porch. Stinky's boyfriend had never seen the original versions of Nightmare on Elm St and Halloween. We got through Nightmare, and Stinky said she was too scared to watch the other movie. We'll have to save that lovely treat for later.

Now, it's late and I'm exhausted. I'm off tomorrow again. We'll be packing, getting Coadster's last minute stuff and getting ready to ship her off to college on Tuesday. How is Summer over already? It was just May last week?

She's So Heavy

Today was so awesome. Coadster and I just kept thanking each other for being so much fun. It was hot as hell and perfect for a day in the water park. We went on almost all of the slides, the lazy river, the largest water roller coaster in the world, spent a good deal of time in the wave pool, Coadster got a beloved corn dog and then we went to the best haunted house (in the form of a crypt) we've ever been to...And Coadster loves that spooky stuff, so we've been to a lot. My goal was to spoil the hell out of her and according to Coadster, I was a success.

Tomorrow, we're going to go shopping for school stuff. Since the Target store in Ames is flooded now, it looks like we'll be getting everything here and transporting it. In the evening, I'm helping my friend G. out. She has a date with a guy we call "the cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet" (we have nicknames for pretty much everyone). She's meeting him early for drinks, and I don't want her to have to worry about getting there or back and not being able to drink...Because there's no better time for a drink than a first date.

Saturday I plan on cleaning my house and helping Coadster pack. I have so much to do around my house and I'll have a few days to devote to it.

Saturday night we're still planning on having our girl night. Mr B. just texted me to tell me he was coming into town to see some bands and wanted to see me too, and I am so glad I hadn't already planned to go to that show. Now, I can make a point NOT to run into him. Thanks to my reboot last week, I've become a phantom to anyone who either can't be nice to me, can't stop playing games or both. It's amazing how much simpler my life is lately...Perfect.

All Aboard for Funtime

Hey, whaddaya know? I actually did get to blog tonight. Of course, I don't have that much to blog about anyway. I spent much of the day working on the details of our trip tomorrow and finishing up the last of the paperwork to get Coadster into school. It's so weird that this time next week, she'll be gone...That is, if the flood that overtook Ames, Iowa calms down enough for her to move into the dorms.

...But I can't think about that right now...I'll think about that tomorrow...Or next week. Whatever. Right now. I'm packing a few things up. I already gassed up the car and bought more sunscreen and I have tickets and Mapquest directions printed out. So, tomorrow, all I have to do is drive way too long but then mostly, play in the biggest water park I've ever been in, with one of my favorite people in the world. Nice work if you can get it, eh? I hope you all have as much fun as you can handle tomorrow too.

How Soon Is Now?

What a great day. It was nice to have the day off from work. I went with Stinky and her boyfriend to her registration. I wrote a fat check, but then we wandered around to check out her locker. I tried to run after that, but only got 4 miles in before I started to melt. It was THAT hot and humid.

In the evening I met K., E., and G., to check out the new rec facilities. On the way there, we planned our Saturday night out. I think we're finally going to have dinner at The Motley Cow drink some cocktails and then maybe go to a real live club to go dancing. I hope it all goes as planned. It sounds like it could be a perfect night.

The recreation building was overwhelmingly crowded. It's free right now, so everyone and their dog was there. We decided not to try and work-out there and instead went back to G.'s house. E and G planned out a trip they're going to take together and D. and I put together and ordered a new computer for me. So, yeah. I should get my new computer sometime the week after next. Hurray!

I'm not sure if I'll be blogging the next couple of days. I hope I will, but I'm at the mercy of my daughter and when she's at her dad's house. Coadster and I decided on a whim to take a day trip to the Dells and go to a water park there on Thursday. I'll check the weather before I buy tickets but if it's supposed to be nice, we're going to drive a ridiculous amount in one day, so we can play together one last time before she goes off to college.

So, I hope I'll be able to blog the rest of this week, if not, have a great week and weekend,

It's a Sentimental Journey and the Makings of a Good Plan

Lucky for you guys, borrowing my daughter's laptop makes for shorter blog posts. I've been checking out computers online trying to figure out what I want to do about replacing mine. My friend D. said she'd help me with it. So, maybe by tomorrow I'll have done enough research to make a decision...Then it could be another two weeks before I get it. It's sad how dependent I am on the internets.

So, tomorrow I'm off work so I can register Stinky for high school. I've been working so hard at getting everything ready for Coadster, Stinky's registration kind of snuck up on me. We'll try to go earlier in the day, and then depending on the weather, I'll run after that. In the evening I'm going to the new recreation services building for the university. It's supposed to have the biggest rock climbing wall in the big 10 and a fantastic swimming pool. I'm not sure if we just want to tour it, or if we're going to try and climb and swim. I'm bringing my suit and stuff, so I'm ready for anything.

Okay. Now I'm going to watch a movie and read myself to sleep. It'll be so nice not to have to set the alarm tomorrow.

Heaven is a Place. A Place Where Nothing. Nothing Ever Happens

Hey, kids. While I was rebooting, my computer decided it was done. So, my 7 year old computer, may you rest in peace. My blogging will be a little sporadic until I get a replacement.

This weekend was good. On Friday I went home early and had a great 8 mile run. I got home and got ready and met my friends at the brew pub. I had a really nice evening and got home around 11'ish.

On Saturday morning the bug guy finally came by. He checked things out and decided that we had carpenter ants. Whew! He said they were easily treated and told me what to do. He also told me that he spot treated my termites a couple of weeks ago, but just didn't get around to billing me. I told him that was jut fine and feel free to take his time with that. He offered to come by from time to time and do more spot treatments any time he had extra bug killing juice for free. Nice.

I only have a 3 day week coming up. I'm going to try and get a computer and get some blogging done while I wait for it.

Help Me Up, Let's Keep On Running

Here are some bottom parts of people from when Coadster was in that play.

I have to say, I think the reboot was pretty damn successful. I had another fairly sleepless night last night, but I woke up feeling so much better and that weight on my heart had finally lifted. Yea, me! I mowed that woman's lawn after work and ran after that. I came home exhausted and planned to just go to sleep as early as possible, when I started getting a bunch of texts from different people. One was from my friend Matt C. He was in town from Denver and wanted me to meet him and a bunch of our guy friends at the Foxhead. I told him that I wasn't going out on such short notice on a school night, but that he could find me out this weekend. He said he had to drive his parents to Des Moines tomorrow, but he'd be back in town in the Fall and we'd meet up then.

Last night when I was cleaning the bathroom, I noticed some weird stuff that looked kind of like coffee grounds on the floor. When I looked more closely, I noticed there were termite looking things in it too and that it must be shredded wood from my subfloor. Holy hell! I've been calling the pest people forever trying to get them to come over and spray and they keep saying they're going to, but never do. I called today and told them that they needed to meet me. They said they'd be over at 3 tomorrow. So, I'm getting off work to try to take care of this. It's a bad combination of gross and stressful.

Okay. Now that I feel all refreshed from my week of introspection, I'm up for some fun this weekend. My girls will be out of town for most of the weekend at their dad's family reunion. Our friend JP is going to be in town from San Diego tomorrow night and we're all going to meet at a brewery pub on Gilbert St. I've heard the beer there is pretty tasty. Since I'm getting off work early, I figured I'd run my 8 mile route and leisurely get ready to go out.

Saturday I'm leaving open. My friend is having a memorial for her fiance who died a few months ago, and I told her I'd help her get ready if she needed any last minute assistance. The memorial itself is at 5. I'm sure it will be pretty sad, just because her fiance was such an amazing man. My friend is one of the most wonderful, positive people I've ever met, so I'm sure she'll also make some of it a celebration of his life. It's supposed to be over at 8. I'm not sure what we'll do after that. If my friend wants to go out and get away, we're kicking around the idea of going to the Motley Cow and hopefully sitting outside and eating appetizers and drinking cocktails (or for me - cocktail (singular)). It's also our friend Roger's birthday, and we promised him we'd meet him and his wife wherever they were celebrating for a bit too. I have no idea if all this rebooting will give me the kind of energy I need for all of this, but I'm pretty good at having my fun and taking off early if I need to crash and burn.

Of course, I'm also planning on running, working on the house and hopefully kayaking on Sunday when it's supposed to be ungodly hot out.

So, how about you all? Are you rebooted, refreshed and ready to rumble this weekend?

Eyes In a Moon of Blindness

Here is an easel all splayed out on a table.

A friend of mine described what I'm going through this week as "rebooting", and I think it's perfect. Not sad or pining - just cleaning out the extra files that were slowing me down and keeping me from being at my best. It means I haven't done a lot of excitingly crazy things. I've just been running after work and then cleaning up my desktop, removing extra icons, unplugging and restarting. The good thing is that when I'm done sorting through the people and things in my life that are worth keeping and those that I have to let go, because even though there are great things about them, they aren't terribly healthy or positive for me, I'll emerge from my reboot so much stronger and leaner.

As you all know, it's hard for me to let go, but I know it's necessary sometimes. Since this crap is all connected, the mental and emotional workouts are just as important as the physical ones. So, here's to doing the real work... No matter how much of a pain in the ass it is. I'm continually striving to get into the best shape of my life. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Yeah, We're Gonna Be So Cool Twisting By the Pool

Another pic of the Coralville dam spillway area.

Hey, kids. I don't have a hell of a lot going on my life right now...And I'm fine with that. Basically, it was a hot humid day and I tried to run and I've been sleeping even less than I normally do the last few nights (which is pretty damn scary) and I decided to shorten my route to 3 miles, just so I didn't pass out. I was heading down First Avenue, when I saw a realtor's sign for an apartment complex or townhouses or something that said, "Ahhhh. A pool." I looked through the slats of the fence, and saw it, all serene and blue and mocking me with its unobtainable promise of instant relief from the heat. It was one of the cruelest running moments I've ever had.

Monday, Monday, It Was All I Hoped It Would Be

Hey, almost as gratuitous as my garden shots, are my dance party shots. Let's hear it for sweet, sweet gratuitousness!

My first day back at work was a-okay. Really. I had a lot of work to keep me busy and no one got in my face about anything...Which are my two favorite things to happen at work.

I ran a very muggy 6 mile route after work and then went to my friend K.'s house to hear all about her amazing weekend in Chicago with a special someone. I love it when my friends meet great guys. It gives me hope. Sadly, it seems the only nice guys we meet, live outside of my town, so even though I'm hopeful, I'm not stupid...Maybe I'll have to start taking road trips.

Anyway. Where were we? Oh yeah. I went to K.'s house and my friend T. and her baby were in town from St Louis. It was so wonderful to see them and drink a glass or two of wine. Another friend was there and then some neighbors and their kids stopped by. It was a nice mess of wine, women, and song, and cute kids and dogs. It turned out to be a great beginning to the week.

You're Not Adorable. I Was Something Unignorable

And still more garden pics. But look! I have coral and purple glads (hiding behind the cone flowers). It's momentous...Almost as momentous as the two sentences I just started with such incorrect grammar.

So, this weekend. What of it? It was a bit of an eye opener in a good way. I spent a lot of time being internal and trying to maneuver through the maze that is my scary brain...Now that's one hell of a cleaning project.

Friday it rained. I was going to try to get some shit taken care of and then kayak with some friends, but I really didn't do much of anything. I think after how much other physical, outdoorsy stuff I did all week, I was ready to give myself a day off. I had some offers to go out and play on Friday night, but declined them all. Instead, the girls and I ordered a pizza, then when they both went out, I decided to just chill out and watch a movie or two. I was relishing the alone time when Mr. B. called me. We talked a little bit and I reiterated that I had problems being his friend while he had a girlfriend and was still trying to get with me. There's nothing more unattractive to me than a guy who's even thinking about another woman and still trying to hit on me. As far as I'm concerned, if he's confused about who he wants, I will always step away and make the guy's decision easy for him. We didn't talk long, because I have a very low tolerance for bullshit and I was done. I have such a hard time just not answering the phone when he calls. He's so funny and great in so many ways, but he's just so damaged, and that seems to override the good. What a shame.

On Saturday I ran a bunch of errands, went running, finished mowing a few parts of my yard and did some cleaning. I went out with some friends that night and it was really fun. I stayed out a little later than I wanted, because I was going to give a friend of mine a ride home and she hardly ever gets out and I knew she was having a blast, so I wanted to give her as much time as she could squeeze out of the night. I got home around midnight and like clockwork, got a call from Mr B. His birthday was today, so I'm sure that some of his neediness was about that...And the fact that he saw some pics on Facebook from when I ran the Bix and they apparently made an impression. He said he was in the middle of a poker game and asked me if he could call me back a little later. I told him that wouldn't work for me and said goodbye and went to bed.

Today, I ran when I woke up, but was feeling a little restless afterward. I put out a call to anyone who might be interested in either a bike ride or kayaking. G. and D. answered and we went to Lake McBride. It was so nice. We had a paddle boat full of high school boys following us around the lake, trying to get our attention with their air horn and then flirting with us for almost an hour. It was cute...Until it got annoying.

Tomorrow, I have to eat that big reality sandwich. I not only have to go back to work, but I have to actually have to work ALL FIVE DAYS....40 hours. Yeah, I know - wah, effing, wah. At least I can say that I made the most of my week. It's nice not to have any regrets.