Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Brainstorm, Take Me Away From the Norm

Here is some fruit ripening on the vine.

A couple of Sunday evenings ago, we sat on the porch and ate and talked about how out of place we felt at the downtown bars full of college kids. We were both at new stages in our lives. A year ago she had been with the love of her life, making plans with him for all of the things they were going to do when her son got better. Her fiance got sick and died within a few months and now her son was better, and she had to make new plans. I could rarely make plans in the past, because my oldest daughter did so many activities and I had an unreliable ex. Now, my oldest daughter was away at college and my youngest daughter didn't have quite the agenda of the eldest.

So, it was, that my friend and I both found ourselves single, with more time on our hands than we were used to. We kicked around alternatives to the downtown bar scene. I wasn't able to do half of her list, because I didn't have the finances she had and she crossed off about half of my list, because she wasn't quite as outdoorsy or introspective as I am (I'm sure very few people are), so camping or fishing, or sitting by herself reading and writing didn't really appeal to her.

Even discounting our various ideas, our combined list was pretty large. We agreed on going to a vineyard a ways out of town that had wine tasting and Friday night music, kicked around joining a group in town that rented a pottery studio and did ceramics on given evenings, day kayaking/canoeing trips, running 5K's, getting her into biking, getting our women friends together to check out a cute little restaurant with outdoor seating a town or two away from us, showing outdoor movies on a screen at her house, possibly helping each other with house projects and I had never tailgated at a football game and wanted to try that out for the first time this Fall. It felt good to be overwhelmed with options.


laura b. said...

Awesome, awesome post. I bet it really did feel amazing to realize all of your options!

rel said...

Options, breaking out of a rut are good things to do.... You never know who'll you meet, what new horizons you'll contemplate. But of course the is nothing better than camping, kayaking, reading and introspection.

booda baby said...

Everything laura b. said, to the letter!! Friends fill all SORTS of roles, but this one's my favorite: when you launch into life together, deliberately.

So. Fantastic post and yay to your future! I'd put language lessons on there somewhere. Probably before the pottery. :)

Tara said...

I'd love the camping and fishing. The bar scenes are usually too crowded for my liking. There was one we went to in Arizona that was kind of fun, but looking back at it now, I think our group was standing out by a few extra years. We were surrounded by college kids.

NoRegrets said...

Friends are indeed people too. That reminds me I need to go send out the I miss you card to my friend.

SkylersDad said...

At some point in my life, and I can't really remember when it was, I just simply got sick of sitting in bars.

Enjoy all of your options, and relish in them.

3GirlKnight said...

It's nice to have options, huh? Even nicer to get to choose with a good friend. Like "The Bucket List" without the pressure. :)

Churlita said...

LauraB., Thanks. It is fun to sit down with someone and plan out fun, isn't it?

Rel, I heartily agree.

Booda Baby, Oh, that too. I already speak Spanish and some French, but I'd like to add Italian and Portuguese too.

Tara, I've had fun in bars, I just want to do other things too.

Nor, Exactly. I think it's easy to take our friends for granted sometimes, but I try really hard not to.

Skylers, I plan on enjoying my options and continually adding to them.

3GirlKnight, Everything's better without the pressure.