Sunday, August 01, 2010

You're Not Adorable. I Was Something Unignorable

And still more garden pics. But look! I have coral and purple glads (hiding behind the cone flowers). It's momentous...Almost as momentous as the two sentences I just started with such incorrect grammar.

So, this weekend. What of it? It was a bit of an eye opener in a good way. I spent a lot of time being internal and trying to maneuver through the maze that is my scary brain...Now that's one hell of a cleaning project.

Friday it rained. I was going to try to get some shit taken care of and then kayak with some friends, but I really didn't do much of anything. I think after how much other physical, outdoorsy stuff I did all week, I was ready to give myself a day off. I had some offers to go out and play on Friday night, but declined them all. Instead, the girls and I ordered a pizza, then when they both went out, I decided to just chill out and watch a movie or two. I was relishing the alone time when Mr. B. called me. We talked a little bit and I reiterated that I had problems being his friend while he had a girlfriend and was still trying to get with me. There's nothing more unattractive to me than a guy who's even thinking about another woman and still trying to hit on me. As far as I'm concerned, if he's confused about who he wants, I will always step away and make the guy's decision easy for him. We didn't talk long, because I have a very low tolerance for bullshit and I was done. I have such a hard time just not answering the phone when he calls. He's so funny and great in so many ways, but he's just so damaged, and that seems to override the good. What a shame.

On Saturday I ran a bunch of errands, went running, finished mowing a few parts of my yard and did some cleaning. I went out with some friends that night and it was really fun. I stayed out a little later than I wanted, because I was going to give a friend of mine a ride home and she hardly ever gets out and I knew she was having a blast, so I wanted to give her as much time as she could squeeze out of the night. I got home around midnight and like clockwork, got a call from Mr B. His birthday was today, so I'm sure that some of his neediness was about that...And the fact that he saw some pics on Facebook from when I ran the Bix and they apparently made an impression. He said he was in the middle of a poker game and asked me if he could call me back a little later. I told him that wouldn't work for me and said goodbye and went to bed.

Today, I ran when I woke up, but was feeling a little restless afterward. I put out a call to anyone who might be interested in either a bike ride or kayaking. G. and D. answered and we went to Lake McBride. It was so nice. We had a paddle boat full of high school boys following us around the lake, trying to get our attention with their air horn and then flirting with us for almost an hour. It was cute...Until it got annoying.

Tomorrow, I have to eat that big reality sandwich. I not only have to go back to work, but I have to actually have to work ALL FIVE DAYS....40 hours. Yeah, I know - wah, effing, wah. At least I can say that I made the most of my week. It's nice not to have any regrets.


laura b. said...

You did so much on your vacation. If nothing else you can feel good knowing you got the most out of your time off...and next weekend will be here before you know it!

rel said...

No regrets, that's a good thing.
I start a new job today!

Tara said...

Flirty boys are fun, but yes it does tend to get annoying after awhile. That horn would've been the first to go.

I hope your first week back goes fast and without unnecessary stress.

NoRegrets said...

Yes, no regrets is a good thing. :-)

You are a very patient woman with Mr. B. Still picking up the phone? Why not just ignore?

MrManuel said...

Mr. B sounds like bad news to me. How can one prove that they are a good man to be with when they are pulling what the are pulling. Take it as a sign in my opinion.

Churlita said...

LauraB., Oh yeah. I don't feel like I wasted a minute of that week. I let myself rest when I need to and let myself have fun when I could.

Rel, Congrats! I hope it goes well for you.

Tara, Thanks. Oh yeah. We were ready to drown the air horn and the boys after a while.

Nor, I know. I have ignored in the past. On Friday I picked up and did want to talk to him, because I knew he took his son to a lake where a dam broke and it flooded, so I wanted to make sure they were okay. He's also one of those really funny guys who can be hard for me to resist talking to. Our friendship has definitely changed and I just stop him the minute he starts telling me how attracted he is to me. Because that's not what friends do...Especially when one of them is in a relationship.

Mr Manuel, Absolutely. We aren't close at all anymore. I hadn't heard from him in about a month before this. I'm a very cautious friend of his.