And still more garden pics. But look! I have coral and purple glads (hiding behind the cone flowers). It's momentous...Almost as momentous as the two sentences I just started with such incorrect grammar.
So, this weekend. What of it? It was a bit of an eye opener in a good way. I spent a lot of time being internal and trying to maneuver through the maze that is my scary brain...Now that's one hell of a cleaning project.
Friday it rained. I was going to try to get some shit taken care of and then kayak with some friends, but I really didn't do much of anything. I think after how much other physical, outdoorsy stuff I did all week, I was ready to give myself a day off. I had some offers to go out and play on Friday night, but declined them all. Instead, the girls and I ordered a pizza, then when they both went out, I decided to just chill out and watch a movie or two. I was relishing the alone time when Mr. B. called me. We talked a little bit and I reiterated that I had problems being his friend while he had a girlfriend and was still trying to get with me. There's nothing more unattractive to me than a guy who's even thinking about another woman and still trying to hit on me. As far as I'm concerned, if he's confused about who he wants, I will always step away and make the guy's decision easy for him. We didn't talk long, because I have a very low tolerance for bullshit and I was done. I have such a hard time just not answering the phone when he calls. He's so funny and great in so many ways, but he's just so damaged, and that seems to override the good. What a shame.
On Saturday I ran a bunch of errands, went running, finished mowing a few parts of my yard and did some cleaning. I went out with some friends that night and it was really fun. I stayed out a little later than I wanted, because I was going to give a friend of mine a ride home and she hardly ever gets out and I knew she was having a blast, so I wanted to give her as much time as she could squeeze out of the night. I got home around midnight and like clockwork, got a call from Mr B. His birthday was today, so I'm sure that some of his neediness was about that...And the fact that he saw some pics on Facebook from when I ran the Bix and they apparently made an impression. He said he was in the middle of a poker game and asked me if he could call me back a little later. I told him that wouldn't work for me and said goodbye and went to bed.
Today, I ran when I woke up, but was feeling a little restless afterward. I put out a call to anyone who might be interested in either a bike ride or kayaking. G. and D. answered and we went to Lake McBride. It was so nice. We had a paddle boat full of high school boys following us around the lake, trying to get our attention with their air horn and then flirting with us for almost an hour. It was cute...Until it got annoying.
Tomorrow, I have to eat that big reality sandwich. I not only have to go back to work, but I have to actually have to work ALL FIVE DAYS....40 hours. Yeah, I know - wah, effing, wah. At least I can say that I made the most of my week. It's nice not to have any regrets.