Tuesday, May 26, 2009

But the Long Face That You See Comes From Living Close to Your Fears

Here is a neighbor's old car.

Okay. So, I'm having a smoke detector issue. You know how I don't have any mechanical skillz, right? Well, my smoke detector's battery started to go, so it was screeching at me in sporadic intervals. So annoying. I yanked it off the wall and thought I could just take the battery out of it, until I had a chance to run to the store to get another 9 volt. I was sadly mistaken. I couldn't get the damn thing apart. So, I did what I usually do in these kinds of situations; I called Stinky over. She is the only one of the three of us who has any kind of engineering know-how and she's usually really good at fixing everything. This time, she failed.

I had no other choice but to put it on the loveseat where no one sits and cover it with pillows to hush up its squawking. Of course, I forgot to buy new batteries. I went to sleep just fine, but then sure as shit, I was awakened at 3 in the morning by more low battery screeching.

Here is its wheel...

I wandered into the living room looking for it, so I could fix it real good by smashing it against the wall. Unfortunately, it wasn't hidden under the pillows anymore, and that's why it was so loud. I finally found the offending item on the coffee table. One of the girls must have moved it at some point. I quickly smothered it with pillows to put it out of my misery and tried to get back to sleep. Turns out, I couldn't. I flirted with the idea of giving up and reading a book and just dealing with how cranky I would be in the morning, but held strong to my sleep fantasy.

...And here is the front part of it.

I must have dozed off, because I was suddenly moving to NYC with a much younger version of my ex. I had already quit my job and got rid of my apartment, when I realized I could never live with him (that was about 9 years quicker than in real life). Since I didn't have a job or a place to live, I was free to go wherever I wanted. It was a toss-up between Austin, Texas and Tucson, Arizona. Then it occurred to me that I had kids. (I have no idea where they had been hiding at the beginning of my dream) and I had to stay in Iowa City. That realization jolted me awake and then I did give up on trying to sleep. I didn't do anything productive instead. I just tossed and turned and fretted about what today would be like on so little sleep. Really, I didn't need to worry. I functioned pretty well. Now, I need to get to bed, so that this deprivation doesn't build on itself.

8 comments:

Ananda girl said...

I laughed all through your story about the smoke alarm. We do the exact same thing... smother the fecking thing until Max can get home to remove the battery. (I have a hammer ready for when he moves out.)
lol. I know we need them, especially in a mobile home like mine. But damn... I hate that!

Dreams can be a real tease, then a let down. Like life isn't that way enough!

aliencg said...

My smoke detector goes off every time I fry bacon. Of course, then it bleeps at me for a little while.

I like the pictures.

Tara said...

I woke up one morning and didn't see my cat anywhere near. Found her curled up in a terrified ball under the couch and that's when I realized my smoke detector battery was low and it made a high pitched beep every ten minutes or so.

Pamela said...

Buy those batteries!!!
And glad you remembered you had kids.

dmarks said...

They want us to change the batteries on smoke detectors frequently, yet the bizarrest hardest to use battery trap contraptions are found on them. They should just make it easy.

laura b. said...

Wow, you just reminded me that I have to buy a new smoke detector, because I destroyed mine when it started screaming at me. Thank you.

I think your dream may be a classic mom dream...

movin down the road said...

cant you take out the battery?

booda baby said...

Oh, 'movin down the road' just made me laugh. What kind of reasonable solution is THAT?!

Those smoke detectors are the single biggest pain in the but we really need them ass. And they're obviously cooking critics. Jeezus.

You got a great dream out of the deal, so it's hard to be toooo annoyed. Isn't it?