Tuesday, September 02, 2008

You're Gonna Drive Me to Drinkin'

First I want to say how sad I was to hear of Jerry Reed's passing. Let me just reveal another weird thing about me - I love trucker songs and I loved Smokey and the Bandit. I'm sure it's because I was at a very impressionable age when all that trucker/CB shit was everywhere in the 70's. I'm also pretty sure it didn't help that Greg Evigan looked the way he did in BJ and the Bear when I was in junior high. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. Trucker hits. Jerry Reed's death..."East Bound and Down" is one of my favorite trucker hits, right up there with Dave Dudley's "Six Days on the Road" and I'm sorry he's gone now.

My girls walking past a sculpture in Salt Lake City.

Now on to my riveting (cough) life:

So, you know how much I love Stinky, right? If you're a parent, you probably also understand how she drives me to drinking too. This weekend, was no exception. She wanted money to go to the catholic school's Fall fun festival thing. I told her what chores she could do, for how much money and after procrastinating, she finally got most of her chores done, with the promise to finish up when she got home. I only had a twenty, so I told her to give me the other half back. Apparently, she decided to use all of it and just do that many more chores without asking me. Bad decision.

When she told me what she did, I was pretty ticked. She hadn't even finished the chores she was supposed to do for the first ten dollars. I told her that now she had to clean the whole house, and she was grounded from hanging out with her friends until they were done. Stinky and I did go to that movie, but she said she'd get everything done when she got home. She didn't.

Here is a photo of Coadster looking at me and Stinky refusing to turn around.

What she did instead was try to get everything done after school on Tuesday, before she went to a volleyball tournament. What that meant for me, was a phone call the second I was getting off work. She was crying and told me that she was trying to mop the kitchen floor, but held the mop up too high and broke the light fixture and some of the glass hit her in the shoulder and she was bleeding. Great. I walk to work and it takes me about twenty minutes or so to get home. I asked her if she thought she needed stitches, but she said it wasn't that bad, it just hurt. Her dad lives a couple blocks away, so she called him and he came over to help her clean up all the glass from the light fixture. By the time I got home, it was all cleaned up and the bleeding had stopped. I have no idea what she was doing to have to hit the light, and I probably don't want to know either.

So, yeah. I've been through this boundary pushing stuff before with Coadster. It sucks to have to be on them all the time, but I know things would be much worse if I didn't. Just last week I was talking to Coadster about it and I said for the thousandth time, "My job isn't to be your friend. My job is to make sure you guys are safe, and that you grow up to be decent people."

Coadster said, "Good. I think those moms who try to be all cool, are kind of creepy."

"Well, you'll never have to worry about that with me. I've never been cool, and I don't plan to start anytime soon," I assured her.

"I know. I doubt you could be cool if you tried."

"Um, thanks...I think."


Minyo said...

Sounds to me, like you're doing a cool job of being a mom. A cool mom just isn't "cool" ... other parents will think you're cool though as you're trying to raise decent kids.

Poptart said...

I love the conversation with Coadster at the end!!

Ugh, Stinky. You gotta give it to her that she does seem to do things when she wants. I was like that, but then that turns bad when you're in your 30s and you keep a messy house and still haven't finished your degree...

Tara said...

Not sure if she realizes this, but you are a cool mom by protecting them and getting on their cases so that they don't get into too much trouble.

Cricket said...

I'm so glad you wrote this. I really struggle with punishing what matters and weeding out what doesn't really matter. My kid is great at convincingly deferring, too. Makes ya want to use the mop handle.

And then they hold your hand.

Mr Atrocity said...

There is a level of fortitude that comes with parenting that I never cease to find astonishing.

DJSassafrass said...

Yeah, the kids with the moms who would 'rather they do their drugs here than somewhere else' I mean, whatthef*ck is that about anyway?

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

I can certainly sympathize with you.. I get that all the time.. They make promises to do shit and never get it done or they do it at the last minute and you are sitting there wondering why they just didn't do it all when they were first asked.. teenagers..! I will never understand them..I'm surprised that I haven't been driven to drink..They say it gets better.. But I would like to know two things.1. When will that happen? 2. who are "they"?

laura b. said...

Oh my goodness, I feel your pain. Kids of a certain age do love to test the boundaries. Well, kids of all ages do, but the boundaries are holding back scarier stuff the older they get...
I think you are a cool mom in a totally good way.

Anonymous said...

I think you're cool, but then again, I'm kind of an adult (only sort of). She'll grow out of this and learn to take responsibility.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

You've got all the time in the world when they are grown to become their friend.

Um...At the ripe old age of 34 I did the same thing with the mop and the light fixture - I'm dangerous.

stepping over the junk said...

excellent. at the beach the other day, my friend was sitting in a horribly old falling apart chair and her 6 year old says to her "MOm, that is SO not cool, would you please go buy a new beach chair?"

evilesb138 said...

She is a sly one....half the work and twice the money, way to go!

I saw the Jerry Reed thing as well. He was also drawn into Scooby Doo episodes.

MrManuel said...

Better to be a mom that a cool upper friend. Trust me. I have seen where the other way backfires...

booda baby said...

Oh, man, NOW I'm going to have to go and get all rich so I can start an awards thingie and give it to you. It's one of the most excellent things a parent can say to a kid. Friend fucking schmend.

Oh. I guess THAT wasn't such a good thing to say.

Churlita said...


Thanks.My girls have told me that they like that I'm consistent and don't freak out about a bunch of little things.


Can't you just hear her saying that? Yeah. Stinky does like to see what she can get away with, doesn't she?


Thank you. I don't think it feels like that to them all the time.


Exactly. I don't want to be so strict that they go do what they want, and just lie to me about it. But I also want to make sure they turn out to be good people and can function in the world.

Mr Atrocity,

Yeah. I'm a lot stronger than I thought I'd be as a parent.


I'm also surprised by the parents who let their kids have parties and drink at their houses.


For sure. Then the next day they're awesome and sweet and you wonder if they're even the same person.


Thanks. I think you and I are living similar lives.


She's definitely learning. She's just doing her job as a teenager, trying to see what she can get away with.


That's great. I'll tell Stinky and that will make her so happy that she isn't the only one.


Isn't it crazy that they already start getting that attitude at such an early age?


Yeah. I guess she's learning valuable job skills, isn't she?

Mr Manual,

Me too. The kids whose moms were trying to be all cool and friends with the teens, were the most messed-up kids I knew in high school.

Booda Baby,

I think it's fine if you just leave out the F word.

Lynnster said...

Ha! Double edged sword there on the final comment from the Coadster!

Well, you're still cool to me/us. But we're at that age now that me and my betrothed aren't even cool to his little brothers anymore, and one of them's almost 30, ugh (the other one's 25-ish).