Stinky after hawking Hawkeye apparel for work last Saturday.
Stinky was talking about how glad she was that she and Coadster were getting along lately. I had noticed it too and it made me happy. I'm sure it's my orphan issues talking, but I always hoped my girls would be close, so they'd have each other if anything ever happened to me and their dad. I also realize the importance of having someone to make fun of your parents with. It's not like you want anyone else talking shit about your folks, but let's be honest, most parents deserve to made fun of at some point. Lord knows, even as much as I make fun of myself, it still doesn't seem to be enough.
Remember how I told you I always dance as much as possible around the girls' friends to make up for them embarrassing me at the store when they were two and I had to carry them screaming outside, while everyone else either gave me the apologetic smile, or that "you are a child abuser and I am this close to calling DHS" glare? Anyway, tonight Stinky was listening to Thriller and I started doing one of my dorkiest dance moves ever. "Hey, what if I danced like this in front of your friends? How would you like that?" I asked, trying to bait her.
Stinky glanced at me for a second and said, "You already have, mother, " and went right back to texting and instant messaging about 7,000 kids at once.
Here is a blurry Stinky, minus the Hawkeye cowboy hat, the fake face tattoo and the peace sign.
So, on Sunday night I watched the VMA's with Stinky, because I couldn't get her to watch the Bears game, damn it. There were a few times where I wanted to be all appalled at shit, as if Madonna never simulated masturbation back at the 1984 awards when I watched MTV on a regular basis or anything, but then I thought I'd just try to be objective and ask questions.
Me: Why does Lil Wayne keep grabbing his package like that?
Stinky: Because he's gangsta.
Me: Oh, okay. Now, are all those quiet spaces where they're bleeping out the swears?
Stinky: Yup. This song is a lot better without that.
Me: Well, yeah. Since 70% of it is dead air this way.