Sunday, September 21, 2008

Holding Hands With Your Heart to See You

Hey, kids. Guess what time it is? That's right. It's time to wish Stinkyjandra Luz Maria another happy birthday on the 22nd. My baby is now fifteen years old. That just seems craaaa-zeee to me.

As much as we love Stinky, I will freely admit that she was a big cry baby when she was little. That top picture is one of my favorite photos of her, because it's how I remember much of her babyhood. Sure, she had her reasons. She had a clogged tear duct and dyshidrotic eczema and a big sister who was constantly stealing her pacifier. (yeah, I made the mistake of weaning Coadster while Stinky still had hers. Duh) When Coadster was little, she couldn't say a lot of words, but she got really good at saying, "Uh oh. Baby cry."

But all that fussiness just made it that much more fun when we did get her to laugh. (notice Coadster with her sister's pacifier in the background).

Stinky has never been much of a structure girl, but she's smart and very social, so she has always loved school. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had to have with her teachers throughout the years, about how she procrastinates and isn't well organized, and is way too chatty in class. I'm sure after talking to me for five minutes, it all made sense to them. As much as we'd like, sometimes you just can't fight genetics.

For much of Stinky's life, she took her cues from her big sister. When she was younger, she let her sister boss her around, as long as Coadster took care of all the details. Coadster would walk her to class every morning and make sure she had everything she needed.

It was a great little arrangement for both of them for a while. Coadster got to be in control and Stinky didn't have to think about anything practical and was free to live in her own little world. Then when Stinky hit eight years old, she got tired of the constant harping, and decided it wasn't worth it. There were a few tough years there where the girls resented their previous roles and drove themselves and me crazy.

Stinky got older and definitely became her own person. She wasn't so caught up with the world inside her head and started running around with some kids who got into trouble the Summer before junior high started. Which meant I had to put the screws to her a little bit and she began losing a lot of the things and freedoms she previously enjoyed. Seventh grade was a huge transition year for her, she changed friends and started getting her shit together better. By the Summer before eighth grade she was a million times better. One day I told her how proud I was of her, and asked what happened to change her behavior. She said, "Well, I figure you give me a lot of freedom anyway, and when I try to push it, then I can't do anything. It just seemed stupid to keep trying to get away with stuff and getting in trouble all the time." Hey, it only took her thirteen years to learn that lesson.

So, now we're at our next stage with Stinky. She just started high school. Today in the car on the way to her birthday dinner, I was talking about sex and alcohol and all the things that terrify me about high school. Coadster told me that I didn't have to worry about Stinky, that she was very overprotective of her and she and her friends were watching out for her all the time. Then Stinky started laughing and said that she was really overprotective of Coadster too. At least it's reciprocal now.

Here's wishing Stinky a happy birthday and a safe landing for every stage she enters.

22 comments:

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Happy Birthday, Stinky!!!!!

Keep making your mama proud, girl;>

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Give Stinky a big hug and happy Birthday wish from rel.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

Happy Birthday Stinky..

Tara said...

Happy Birthday, Stinky! Twenty-two is an awesome number!

NoRegrets said...

Oh, how wonderful.

aliencg said...

Happy Birthday, Stinky (I wonder when that name will get changed).

Churlita, you done good.

Mr Atrocity said...

That's a lovely portrait you've written there. Thank you.

Oh, and happy birthday to daughter Number 2 of course.

Poptart said...

I wanna cry. I love these posts/pictures and stories. Happy 15th Stinky! And YOU Churl, are a great mom. I hope you're really proud.

And please keep it Stinky! It cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

Happy b-day to the girl!! We will call tonight. I can't beleive it. Time just flies by.

Minyo said...

Happy Birthday to Stinky!! Nice post! Here's to safe landings at all stages.

Minyo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DJSassafrass said...

Hooray! Your girls are little grown-ups...soon they will clearly bemore mature thatn us!

A said...

one of the two most beautiful girl babies ever born! I'm just glad shes out and here (oh wait that happened 15 years ago) oh happy day!
A

laura b. said...

Happy Birthday, Skinkyjandra!

Churlita, ya done good.

Cricket said...

Happy Birthday to the Sticky One! May you have many, many more.

booda baby said...

Oooooooh, you do great birthday posts! Congratulations on your beaoooootiful daughter's birthday!

Churlita said...

Woo-Woo,

Thanks. Good to hear from you too.

Rel,

Thank you. She got plenty of attention...And that's saying something for her.

Mrs.,

She said thank you.

Tara,

I think so too. And it's always fun to be born on the Equinox/first day of Fall too.

Nor,

We think so.

AlienCG,

She'll always be Stinky to me.

Mr Atrocity,

ha ha. Or simply, number two, as my oldest daughter refers to her.

Poptart,

Thanks. I thought of posting a photo of you holding her in the hospital right after she was born, but I couldn't find it. Damn.

Moy?

Cool. As you know, we got your call. Sorry we were both so tired and zoned out.

Minyo.

Exactly. I think we could all use some.

DJ,

Too late. My girls were more mature than me ages ago.

A.,

Yours are the two most gorgeous boy babies. Thanks to your help, she's out and here and Coadster had someone to watch her while all the childbirthing was going on.

LauraB.,

Stinkyjandra and I both thank you.

Cricket,

Thanks. We almost lost her to meningitis when she was five. So, we're thankful for everyone we get.

Booda Baby,

Thank you so much for your well wishing.

Ben said...

Happy Birthday Stinky. You have a great mama!

Ben said...

BTW Ben is really Henry For A Day under another name. Happy Birthday again.

another good thing said...

I love this post. I love how you love your girls. DO they know how great a mom they have?

Poptart said...

I'm glad you didn't find/post that. Woulda cried even more. 15!

Not Fainthearted said...

Hey Stinky - Happy Birthday a couple of days late! (sorry about that) Hope 15 is turning out OK so far. Here's to a great start of all that high school drama!

(I love it that our kids are the same age. DS2 turns 15 on the 30th.)