Monday, July 21, 2008

Feel No Sorrow, Feel No Shame, Come Tomorrow, Feel No Pain

Here is some steam clouding up an alley by where I work.

So, I was thinking I might talk about boys tonight. What do you think about that? I have to write to sort things out and try to make sense of them, but with guys, I could probably write all day and it wouldn't help. I have to try though, right?

I have two to discuss, so let's get started, shall we? Remember how I changed Mr Awesome's name to Mr. HitandRun a few posts back? Well, true to his name, he hit again while I was at the wedding. I checked my phone to make sure my girls hadn't tried to call, and there was a text from him. It was just a dorky photo of himself with a beer can balanced on his head. Of course, I was at the wedding he was supposed to be accompanying me to, and I figured it was his way of being sorry and making sure I hadn't written him off. We did a little superficial texting, making fun of the photo and I went on with my evening. By one in the morning, I was exhausted and started walking home, when my phone rang. It was Mr HitandRun. He asked me what I was doing and I explained to him that I was walking home from the wedding. He said, "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." I called him Mr HitandRun and asked him why he did it. He reminded me that he never hit anything and then gave me some bullshit excuse about working and being a single dad. (huh, what's that like?)

I said, "Yeah, but it would take exactly five seconds to text me back and let me know whether you were going to show or not." He said he was sorry and that he was just lame that way. On the other hand, he was very appreciative that I was so good about answering his calls and texts. He told me he would make it up to me by coming to see me the following weekend. I told him that I'd be gone on my roadtrip then. He said he'd come and see me on my birthday next Wednesday then. My birthday was last Wednesday. I didn't correct him though, because I knew I wouldn't hear from him anyway, so why waste the energy on that conversation.

The good thing about him, is that he's very funny and even though he's eight years younger than I am, he gets all my pop culture references (and you all know how important that is to me). He even sang the "Yuck Mouth" song from the Public Service Announcement about remembering to brush your teeth. He also told me he was drawn to me and couldn't help himself from calling me even if I was married or had a boyfriend...So, for me all this means, is that he can be a fun friend who contacts me sporadically and I just have to ignore the parts where he pretends like it's going to be anything more than just that. We hung up and when I woke up, I saw that he had texted me at 6 am, asking if he could call me. Um, not at six am on a Sunday, he can't.

If things go the way they usually do with him, I should hear from him again out of the blue in about a month.

I was going to write something about my other monthly guy, The wedding date guy, but this is already too long, so I'll tackle that one tomorrow. Until then, I'll leave you with this photo of me looking like I'm picking my seat, but really I'm just trying to keep my dress from flying up and making me real popular, real fast. Yeah, I have everyone's best interests at heart.


minijonb said...

i think mr. hitandrun is a can short of a six-pack. he should know that's behind in the count and the third strike is on the way to the plate. oh, did i just make a baseball reference? you can shoot me for that.

btw, nice steam photo. it looks kinda spooky.

Mr Atrocity said...

I'm pretty much amazed that this hasn't driven you completely round the twist. I think if someone behaved like that to me I'd be telling them to go forth and multiply, but not in those exact words.

Remiman said...

You have amazing patience.
If it was me I'd text him: FOJ.
But I don't text. :-)
Just sayin'.

evil-e said...

You have accurately renamed this fellow. He displays all of the special talents that us guys have. Most guys only have a couple of those, he features the whole gambit right down to forgetting birthdays. He should probably stay at the distance he is at....for your sanity's sake.

If I saw weird steam clouds like that near work, I would just go home.....

dmarks said...

But does he know the lyrics to "Mr Yuck" ?

The beer-can-on-head photo makes me think of some sort of version of the "William Tell" legend.

Evil-E is right to beware of that steam cloud. It's either one of those alien vapor entities that leaves red-shirted crewmen mindless in "Star Trek", or a sign that your city is turning into 1890s London... complete with Jack the Ripper.


Tara said...

Mr. HitandRun makes me angry, I'm reading about him and rolling my eyes. I know a few guys like that, and one in particular will contact me now and then. Sadly, I can not stay mad at him because he is fun to talk to. But like hitnrun, I know I'll have to wait until the next couple months to hear from him again. I've stopped holding my breath a long time ago.

DJSassafrass said...

You are quite patient with MrHitandRun so it's good he sees that and hey, as long as he is amusing you it works out okay. Clearly not someoen to ever count on though

Tera said...

I'm going through the same thing right now...that's why text was invented so that if you don't have a moment to call, or are too ashamed or embarassed to say what you have to say, you frapping text it! And in the past couple of days, nothing...nothing from the guy I'm dating (that may be past tense soon). I know the next time we talk, there will be some lame apology for it before the cycle starts again, argh!!!

booda baby said...

You'll do what you want to do, but this doesn't even qualify as friendship. (I'm feeling mighty harshly towards him.) You have enough wonderful, fun and loving friends. You don't need some dick who has to make up his mind.

OH fucking please. A beer can on his head? Oh, so now it's your job to tell him THAT was witty? On what fucking planet? The one where everyone drinks a six pack before dinner? Jeezus.

Poptart said...

You know I'm with Mr. A. and Booda Baby on this one... Why humor him at all? I think no attention is better than that kind of attention. But maybe it's just me justifying why no guys of any caliber ever contact me!

NoRegrets said...

Well, he at least asked if he could call you at 6 am instead of just calling you. I wonder if the reason he is divorced is because he lacked commitment? Seems to be the case.

jenny said...

Mr Hit and Run is wasting your time. You deserve someone who actually respects you and whose word means something. It will only get worse from here.

Plus, if I'm remembering the hula hoop picture correctly, Mr Wedding Date was wicked hot!

Wow... sorry - didn't mean for this to come off so negative, but I've had a few run-ins with people who can't be bothered to respond to a call or email, and it's never a good sign.

Churlita said...


I liked your baseball reference. I dated a guy this Winter who always spoke in sports terms and it cracked me up.

Mr Atrocity,

As long as I don't take him seriously, I'm fine. If I had actually expected him to show up for the wedding, I would be super annoyed right now.


Yeah. If he weren't so entertaining, I wouldn't even be his friend.


That's the thing. I'm sure I'll never see him in person, and I only hear from him about once a month, so it's not like he has much bearing on any part of my life.


Or like William Burrows trying to shoot the apple off of his wife's head and missing. Oops.


I know. I wish he weren't so funny, because then it wouldn't be the least little bit worth it to me.


Absolutely. I wouldn't count on him for anything.


I'm right there with you. I'm not asking for him to contact me all the time, just let me know what's going on, or don't promise shit to begin with.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

That was a pretty rude stand-up on his part. I agree with Remiman - you've got tremendous patience.

You're just holding out for the best and ain't nothing wrong with that.

PS - your legs are gorgeous in the seat-picking picture.

MrManuel said...

I'd drop this guy if I was in your shoes, but it is easier said than done of course.

Chance said...

Yeah, listen, as aguy --- Mr. HitAndRun is a complete jerk. Seriously. LOSE HIM. HE WILL NOT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. Trust me on this. I know his breed.

Churlita said...

Booda Baby,

Yeah. I hear you. It takes almost no effort on my part. If it did, I wouldn't even think about it.


He really is funny and if you met him, you'd actually really like him. He just can't be in a relationship, apparently.


I think most women have met their own hitand run guy and so we have strong opinions about it.


He's not mean, he's just lame and can't seem to get his shit together. Thanks for the leg compliment.

Mr Manuel,

There isn't much to drop. At this point we're just more virtual friends.


I know his breed too. i wish he were the exception instead of the rule.

laura b. said...

Weighing in late here, but my feeling is that it is fine to have a Mr Hit and Run in your life, as long as you know he is a Mr Hit and Run. And you do!

AlienCG said...

Mr. HitandRun needs to decide what he wants in life. It seems like he's still trying to live like a teenager even though he's a single father. That's just my take, I'm expert.