Tuesday, October 23, 2007

And My Eyes Are Wondering How You Feel

I gotta hand it to Dexter. He definitely has a knack for sending me pictures through my email on just the right days - the days I need a laugh, or some eye candy to get me through. Today, he did it again. The subject was, "Your Future Boyfriend" and there it was, the hot cowboy who opened at the Drive-By Trucker's show. Actually, he's my friend K.'s future boyfriend. Not that we're internet stalker's or anything...Oh, who the hell am I trying to kid, K. and I, and most of my friends for that matter, are HUGE internet stalkers, but anyway, K. found his MySpace. It said right on there that he was a real cowboy, and you and me and god and everyone else knows, that they wouldn't put it on MySpace, if it weren't true.

The fun part of our Make Out Quest 2007, is talking about what kind of guys we'd like to make out with. K. has said she'd like a guy who was in good shape, but not too uptight about it, and someone who is at least a little outdoorsy. You know, a guy who doesn't either sit around on a couch, or on a bar stool all day and night. Unfortunately, that leaves out most of the guys we know.

Me? I'm not as picky about looks. This town is full of really hot people who don't have that much character or, who really aren't all that interesting. I'd sacrifice a lot in the looks department, just to hang out with a funny, intelligent, honest, straighforward guy - who can also keep up with my cheesy song and pop culture trivia references. How sexy are all those traits in a man? I know, very.

The other day, Stinky brought up the subject of me dating...Or not. I think both my girls would like to see me in a healthy relationship.

Stinky: So, tell me again how come you don't really date? Most of my friend's mom's have boyfriends and they aren't as cute as you (which was nice of Stinky to say, but I think she said it mostly because she looks a lot like me, and she thinks she's adorable) and plus, you aren't psycho like a lot of my friend's moms.

Me: Which of your friend's moms are psycho?

Stinky: Well, I don't know...Most of them. You know what I mean, they yell a lot and they seem to freak out really easy...Hey, you're changing the subject. Do you not date because guys your age aren't very hot? Or is it because men seem to get all cranky when they get older?

Me: (laughing) I don't care what they look like so much, but the cranky and set in their ways part, is kind of hard to take.

Stinky: Yeah, and I think it would be hard to find a guy who was weird enough for you...

Me: There's always that.


Remiman said...

Dating etc. just to keep up appearances is probably not going to fit your style!
Weird vs psycho? Hmmm, I'm definitely more a fan of weird.

ps. Do you have geese in Iowa?
The word veri. is gaggles.
Weird, I know.

Mr Atrocity said...

Stinky knows you well, doesn't she? The only funny cowboy I can think of is The Waco Kid from "Blazing Saddles" but I'm guessing that's not quite what you were looking for.

Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

Lots of crazy people out there.. now if you find one that fits in with yer kind of crazy(but in a good way) then you would be set... Ya know I was told once that if you are looking for love (stalking doesn't count)you won't find it.. But once you stop feeling the pressure to find that one person it comes to you... So hopefully you will meet your dream guy...

Tara said...

That's a great compliment to hear from your daughter that you aren't as psycho as the other moms. :) That cowboy does look hot.

Margaret said...

it's good to hear you're not psycho, like the other dating moms, that would give you a real advantage if the men weren't so cranky, your girls are pretty great

Liz said...

You live in a town full of beautiful but plastic people? I thought you were in the midwest, not LA. :)

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I've never gone for the conventionally handsome and I never could date someone better looking than me. Brains and integrity are the most attractive features to me.

It's nice that your kid can ask you such questions. Proof too that you're not psycho.

booda baby said...

This is the truth. I know three men who are perfect for you. Except they live no where near IC. Which is a problem. But it's still nice to know that they're out there.

a said...

The key is psycho - notice the psycho moms are dating and have boyfriends - note key word here - psycho -
yup thats all it takes to date -
get a little pyscho thing going.

laura b. said...

You are lucky to have girls. Boys don't like their mom to date. Well, mine aren't into it at least...

evil-e said...

I am in the business of talking good about dating these days. The attitude you have right now, of who really cares, usually works. I had no idea back in August that I would end up with the girl I did.

I am actually enjoying having a regular girl and I find her to be almost everything I was looking for. I did not think that she existed up until the end of August....

Keep on not caring, some dude will come by and knock you on your ass and you will do the same to him....

Chance said...

I have no doubt whatever that if you are not dating, it's because your area lacks guys who are worth your time. Anyone who can't appreciate your references from Costello to Coolio is a dud.

Churlita said...


I wouldn't date to keep up appearances.

we do have geese in Iowa. A lot of them.

Mr Atrocity,

Probably not, but now I want to watch Blazing Saddles.


I'm not really looking for love. I think I've given up on that. We're mostly just talking shit about Make Out Quest 2007...Although, I wouldn't turn down a good make out session if it presented itself.


Yeah. You're right on both things.


I know, right?


They're not plastic so much as very, very young. It's a college town with a bunch of rich kids from the North Shore suburbs of Chicago.


My girls and I are all pretty open. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it isn't.

Booda Baby,

It is nice to know. I just don't think I'll find a guy in this town.


That's it. I'm just going to start freaking out on everyone's asses and see if I can hook-up.


I'm glad you're so happy. I'll be walking around waiting to get knocked on my ass.


Thanks. That's so nice of you to say.

Brando said...

You forgot to mention the increase in hair everywhere except where women want it ;-)

michelle said...

How sweet of her to be worried and tell you how cool you are in comparison to her friends mums. My daughter does that too. Well not the dating thing but telling me how cool I am in comparison to her friends mums. I don't think they're all like she makes out they are. I mean how would she know when she only spends a small amount of time with them? All parents freak out occasionally.

Churlita said...


Oh yeah, How could I forget that?


Yeah, but with teenage daughters, I take any compliment I can get.