Tuesday, October 02, 2007

You Ball Like The Baby in Eraserhead

Here is a picture of a dirty old wash tub.

Today was kind of funny in that weird and/or nerve-racking way. Because we live in Iowa, we are at the mercy of the elements. Today the elements decided to fuck with us. So, all my plans from yesterday totally fell through, which was still fine. I got off work and couldn't run because it was all rainy and I really didn't want to leave my house anyway. Coadster's powder puff game got canceled and Stinky didn't have anything going on either. It was the first night in about a hundred millions years that we were all home at the same time all night. I couldn't think of one thing to make for dinner, so I asked the girls if they were okay with ordering a pizza from The Wedge. Because they are in high school, they are always okay with ordering a pizza. My friend K. invited me over to her place for a bit, but I declined because I wanted to spend some time with the girls. Later, I was very glad I did.

I still wasn't sure if I was going out later in the evening so I decided to take a bath to wash the stink of the office off of me, just in case. I was in the tub for about five minutes before Coadster flung the door open to tell me that I jinxed us. Apparently, there was a tornado warning and it was headed our way again. If you don't already know my history with tornadoes and bathing, you can read a post from my old blog here. We had a few tense moments before the storm finally passed and many phone calls from friends and family checking in. I won't gush on about how hard my friends and family rock, because I've said it a million times and I'm sure you all get it. Needless to say, I didn't end up going out with my girlies. The rest of the night was spent geeking out in my happy, happy, tornado free, comfort zone.

So, now how's about we talk about boys to divert our attention away from potential natural disasters. Today when I was carrying my little red basket to go across the street to give stuff and get stuff from another office, I saw one of the young boys who hit on me at a show a while back. I'm usually good at doing what my friend Ondine calls the Iowa City stare, where you fix your gaze at a point furthest away from the person and pretend you don't see them, but he was heading straight toward me so there was no way to avoid him. I think I told you about this kid, he was the one who made a big point to tell me he was writing a novel. It was all I could do at the time to restrain myself from saying, "Yeah. You and everyone else in this town."

I have nothing against him. Yes, he was a little pissy to me because I didn't take him up on his very generous offer to hook-up, but he was drunk and in his early twenties. If everyone judged me on the mistakes I made when I was young and trashed, I would be shunned by the community and made to live in an abandoned shack in the middle of a corn field somewhere. It was just awkward at first. As we passed, we looked at each other and gave each other an embarrassed smile and then went on our ways - no harm, no foul.

Okay. I have one last thing to write. It has nothing to do with the rest of my post, but it's funny and as you know, I'm not above using my self-diagnosed ADD as an excuse for anything I want. The other day, a friend who I won't identify and I were talking about boys and sex. Weird...Or not. We were discussing having drunk sex, and my friend was saying that it always seemed like a good idea before you did it, but then once you were in the middle, you would be too tired and stupid to focus and just want to ask the person, "Hey, could you turn into a pizza instead? Oh wait. Could you get off me first and then turn into a pizza?" Amen.

12 comments:

Mr Atrocity said...

Mmm, pizza.

Zzzzz.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Drunk and sex don't go well together. Drunk on sex, though, is ...well...ok;)
Pizza and beer while not as fullfilling can have you feeling full.

Glad you had a tornado free evening.
rel

Tara said...

We live on the outskirts of "tornado alley", but we've had scares in the past. I'm glad you didn't have to hide out in a cellar because of that storm, and it's good that you and your girls were all together at that time, too.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Glad the tornado passed you by and allowed you to enjoy your night!

I do that stare thing all the time - especially when I go back to my hometown and see people from high school. Very effective.

Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

That's nice you decided to spend some quality time with the girls and having a pizza night is always a good thing...

DJSassafrass said...

Amen to the tornado passing us all and leaving us free. I fell aslepp last night after work, but awoke to the sounds of the North Liberty tornado sirens! Good to know those are working....

A said...

the boys and I were just talking about what Samuel used to call "Tomato Drills" now he is old enough to visualize twirling clouds full of tomatoes splattering and that makes him laugh. Then he ennumerated all the "tornados" that actually happened to us the year we lived in Iowa #3 The big one was the one that hit you (not us really) - just last night as I was putting them to bed - must have been lots of "tornado" vibes in the air

booda baby said...

That's so cool you're over being a tornado jinx. Well, maybe YOU're not over it, but the tornado is.

I know it's not nice, I know it, but it's one of my all time favorite conversations to overhear. The early-twenties gal/guy talking about their novel. It must hurt to be that earnest that early.

laura b. said...

What a great post, Churlita! We got suspense, boy talk (or girl talk about boys), and even a great joke to close. Love it.

TLB said...

Jesus, thank God it was just a scare. You and I should be exempt from tornado damage for all time, baby.

We're coming to town this weekend for the war against childlessness. Drop me a line if you're going to be around.

fringes said...

Your ADD posts rock. The night in with the girls must have been fantastic. Especially without a tornado.

Churlita said...

Mr Atrocity,

I just realized I made two very different pizza references in this post.

Rel,

Drunk on sex is probably one of the best possible situations.

Tara,

I was glad we were all together too.

Lady,

I would probably not see people for real if I went back to that town. I only lived there for four years and don't remember all that many people.

Mrs.,

It was a nice evening together.

DJ,

I'm glad your sirens are working too. Do you have a basement in your house?

A,

Three tornadoes is a lot for the little time you were back in Iowa.

Booda Baby,

You're right. I'm no longer a tornado/bath tub jinx. Ahhhhh.

LauraB.,

Thanks.

TLB,

I'd love to see you guys. I'll email you. You know me, I'm always around.

Fringes,

Thanks. Our night in did rock.