Here is a picture of a big (ahem) rooster.
So, I know I said I've been kicking around the idea of dating again. I guess what that means for me, is that one day I think I'll be able to make the effort, and the next it seems too overwhelming and I'm pretty sure I'd be happier just staying home and doing my own thing. It's a huge understatement to say that I haven't had the best luck with men. I am very willing to look at my part in not only getting in, but staying in really stupid and lame situations. To that end, my friends have been good at helping me figure out what I'm doing wrong. Because they are my friends, and because they really care about me, they tell me exactly what they think. Here are some of my friends' observations from the last six months or so.
This first part is an e-mail transaction from my friend GW one day at work.
GW: Hey, A. (her boyfriend) and I were just talking, and we've decided that maybe you shouldn't be allowed to pick your own boyfriends. Don't take this the wrong way, but you know you haven't made the best decisions in the past.
Me: I know. The thing is, that these guys all seem to present themselves one way at first, and then once I'm hooked, they all suddenly change everything they originally said. And so I keep waiting for the nice guy who told me he wanted to be in a relationship to come back. I guess I've always been a sucker for false hope...
GW: Maybe you just need someone around to remind you to run and don't look back at whatever point the guy starts airing out his crazy around you.
On another day, I was relating that e-mail message to my friend Kris. I told her that I thought there was some validity in what GW said, but a few years ago, I let my best friend set me up with a guy and he turned out to be the most abusive man of all.
Kris: That's because your best friend is a man, and most guys just choose the hottest girls they think they can get without worrying about whether they'll be compatible or smart or sane. You need your girlfriends to hook you up, because they'll look for someone you might actually be able to have a relationship with. Seriously, you are generous and conscientious to a fault and you're fun too. You deserve to be with someone who isn't too stupid to appreciate you.
My friend A. told me that it seemed to her that I didn't think I could date someone nice and normal. In my defense, I do think I could date someone nice, if only I could find a guy like that. I agree with her that I don't know if I could date someone totally normal. I know I'm weird and a guy who didn't have any quirks wouldn't get me and I wouldn't get him and I'd probably be bored fairly quickly. One of my many friends named Sara said that there were two ways for a guy not to be boring, one was to be fun and strange and have his own interests, the other was to be difficult, and that I had a hard time distinguishing between the two. I'll give her that. It's hard to know where quirky ends and where crazy begins sometimes.
So, after all this, my new bed and blankets and jammies and TV and XBox are looking pretty good. Say, wasn't I talking about going to therapy a while back?