Friday, September 21, 2007

Why Do They Gotta Front?

I'm blogging early tonight, because I'm going out and I'm already going to expose you to something kind of scary in this post, I don't want to make it any worse than it is by writing it when I'm a little inebriated. I do want to preface this all by saying, good lord and Jaysus, Mary and Joseph and then, ah, for fuck's sake.

Have you ever gone out and had a beer or two and forgotten how white you were and decided it would be really, really funny if you made the gayest guy in the bar do some eighties dancing with you? You figured it would be fine because everyone else seemed to be at least as drunk as you, so they probably wouldn't even remember it the next day. Then about a week later your friend Dexter might send you an email with a photo of your sad, sorry excuse for dancing. Granted, he is nice enough to tell you that he got rid of any other copies, so if you deleted the one from the email, there would be no other traces. When you foolishly opened it at work, you had to stifle your horrified scream, because it looked like this:

Eeeeeek! Right? Your first impulse would probably be to hit the delete button about thirty times in a row, just to make sure it was really and truly gone. Then, after you thought about it for a minute, you thought it was just as funny as it was frightening, and if it were someone else, you would want them to post that photo of themselves so you could feel better about yourself in general. Plus, you know that you seriously have no shame, so there's really no use in pretending like you do.

So, what the hell, you all get to see me being a complete and total dork. Feel better about yourselves now? Yeah, I thought so.

13 comments:

Ondine said...

Are you dancing with Jerry?! Awesome! You know I've cut a rug with you before and you're not that bad being from 'tumwa and all.

Churlita said...

You called it. That is Jerry. Thanks. Of course, you've never seen me do the Ottumwa shuffle before - cigarette in one hand, bottle of beer in the other and shift your weight from one side to the other, exchanging putting the cigarette and the beer to your mouth.

Tara said...

Haha..Brings back great memories of dancing at my first company Christmas party. I had a couple glasses of wine in me, so I wasn't shy about dancing the Macarena in front of my coworkers. :D

Have a fun time tonight!

Chance said...

That picture does nothing but prove that you are the awesomest woman alive.

not fainthearted said...

There are worse things....


like the chicken dance, for instance.

laura b. said...

I know that dance! I know that dance! haha! You are awesome to think of us and our voyeuristic needs :-) That is what makes you a top notch blogger!

Word Smith said...

Today is my 20th high school reunion. Between that and this picture, I'm going to need something more powerful than beer to stop the flashback. Beer will only take me back to a Dead Kennedy's show in '85 when Jello kicked the crap out some kid in front of me.

Must find glue....

Killer said...

Actually, I do feel better now...thanks.l

Liz said...

Um... when I'm really drunk I do the robot, so NO. Your white girl sway isn't nearly humilating enough to make me feel "OK" with my dancing.

AKS said...

I like to enlarge that photo so I can see that your mouths open and know that your totally into it...way in to it....

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Girl - you look fantastic. I would kill to have arms that can be raised in the air and waved about without 8 pounds of flab waggling. I haven't raised my arms in public or worn anything sleeveless since 1845. You go for it dancing queen!

Churlita said...

Tara,

The macarena, huh? I wish you had pictures of that.

Chance,

Thank you. I appreciate a man with really low standards.

Not,

I forgot about the chicken dance. Thank god.

LauraB.,

It's all about you guys.

Wordsmith,

I'm a big advocate of huffing, or whatever it takes.

Killer,

Good. Then I've done my job.

Liz,

Less talking about doing the robot and more pictures of you doing the robot.

LAdy,

I had a friend who thought women should start getting their arm flab pierced and showing it off.

Churlita said...

AKS,

you are so mean. Funny...but mean.