Wednesday, September 19, 2007

How Could I Leave This Behind?

Here is some eggplant. It is very purple.

Let's see. We might be a little scattered and random today, but you shouldn't expect any less from me by now. Tonight was what it was. I found out some things that didn't matter and I was stupid to react to, but I had had a couple of beers and I'm a girl, so I let certain things bother me more than they should. Anyway, by the time I met my friends, I was in kind of a weird space. My girlfriends were great as usual and talked me down. My friend A. even told us about the game she and some of the women she works with played the other night. They would name three guys and they would have to say which one they would push off of a cliff, which they would have sex with once and never see again and which they would spend the rest of their live's with and why. Hey, now that's just some fun there. While we were laughing about that, my friend S.'s husband leaned over and said, "What? isn't there anyone you would want to set on fire?" And that REALLY got our wheels turning. That is, until we started making plans for Saturday night (after Stinky's party) for the Bijou where they will have a Guitar Hero tournament at 11 pm, right before the midnight showing of This is Spinal Tap. It could be just about perfect.

Now, as I promised, I will totally change the subject and tell you some things I saw downtown this week during my lunches and breaks.

Yesterday I walked by the Java House and realized that I knew pretty much every person sitting outside on the little patio. My first thought was, my friends are a bunch of slackers who don't have to work all day like I do. I'm so jealous. My second thought was that once it starts getting cold and I can't go outside during my breaks, I won't have much of a social life unless I start getting better about going out more. I'm really going to try harder, because I think I'm about ready to try to start dating again, and just think how much fun it will be to read about how uncomfortable I am during that whole process?

On Monday I was passing my favorite homeless woman who sits in front of what used to be Hills Bank, but is now a Cold Stone Creamery. She was having some kind of altercation with a gray haired, heavily bearded guy who had parked his bike right in front of her. She told him to get lost and he said, "I can be wherever I want to. I'm an American citizen, damn it." To which the homeless woman responded:

"No you're not. You're a pothead!" If you have to choose between being one or the other, I have a feeling I know a lot more illegal aliens than I thought I did.

The last quaint little thing I saw downtown yesterday, were two people trying to light a cigarette with the sun and a magnifying glass. What kind of a smoker, doesn't have a light, but does have a magnifying glass?


Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

really funny post.. I had a good chuckle... I love it when they ask for a smoke and then don't have a light.. A bum always has a or at least knows more about illegal aliens then us..he he he..

Brando said...

Sigh, I miss the IC.

The GH tournament sounds like the comedy event of the year.

DJSassafrass said...

Venting=good. Moving on=better! I am glad we got to hang out, I hope that we will again soon. Want in on the motto girls and I use? Here it is: EVERYONE sucks BUT us. Think about's true every time. Of course 'us' is all relative....

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

There go my chances at being president. Dammit.

Mr Atrocity said...

Perhaps they were very ecologoically conscious smokers and were attempting to use a non-fossil fuel based method of cigarette ignition? unlikey perhaps but it's all I got.

laura b. said...

I, for one, cannot wait to hear any and all awkward dating stories!!!

Killer said...

If you bumped the magnifying glass one of those smokers could end up with 3rd degree burns to the face. Dangerous.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I think it's incredibly hilarious that you have a "favorite" homeless woman.

booda baby said...

This was a great tour of Iowa City!! Thank you thank you. It's been a little bit autumn for two days now, but the aromas don't match the scenery. It's very very good of you to supply some.

Okay, that's weird, but I used to carry a magnifying glass to look at silver hallmarks and I OFTEN lose my lighter, so ... just thought I'd admit that I could've been one of those.

michelle said...

Ha. I have seen some down and out homeless guys doing the same thing with a cigarette and a magnifying glass outside a homeless shelter I used to pass on my way to work. I wondered exactly the same thing you did.

Tara said...

I've played a version of that game you talked about with some of my coworkers when we went out for drinks. It was "marry, kill or screw". We were all being hard on each other and picking the most vile people we could think of for the choices. >:)

evil-e said...

"what kind of smoker doesn't have a light, but does have a magnifying glass?"--this question will now plague me for the rest of the night. I have to come up with a theorem for this, but I have no idea where to begin...

I want to be the off the cliff guy...

not fainthearted said...

that's it. I now have a new quest during lunch and any time I need to get the Heck Out of the office. Stroll around the warehouse district of Minneapolis and try try TRY to top those stories.

Churlita said...

Mrs Big Hairy Woman,

Thanks. You would think, wouldn't you?


It should be hilarious, especially since they're encouraging people to wear their favorite spandex or metal clothes to the movie.


Thanks for the motto and the vent. My feelings tend to get hurt easily, but I'm over it pretty quickly too. Like I said, it's all a bunch of shit that doesn't matter anymore anyway.


I know. Maybe you could just tell everyone you never inhale...

Mr Atrocity,

It's so sweet that you're trying to give them so much credit. Albeit, undeserved credit.


Be careful what you wish for. I seem to attract the most messed-up of men.


Oh, I'm always careful. I had an older brother who was fond of sneaking up on us with his magnifying glass in the Summer in Arizona.


Who doesn't have a favorite homeless woman?

Booda BAby,

That's really funny. If you're ever in the Ped Mall and need a light, I bet you'd be smart enough to go to the tobacco shop two doors down.


That was the first time I'd seen it. Maybe I need to get out more.


Your title for the game is much more efficient than ours.


Let me know when you figure it out, okay?


I can't to see what kind of posts you come up with.