Wednesday, September 05, 2007

So I Got Me a Pen and a Paper, and I Made Up My Own Little Sign

So, today we had our staff retreat. As an extra added bonus, you get to view a photo of me being VERY, VERY nervous getting up in front of everyone and speaking. As you can see, public speaking is just not my thang - hence the imaginary bag I'm trying to breathe into. I had to talk about myself and show a picture of me from school, and it was kind of cute when everyone else was sharing...but did I mention that public speaking is not my thang? Good, then you know.

Now, let's move on, shall we? After the retreat, I was just minding my own business, walking out of my building for my usual "get as far away from my cubicle and stroll amongst the downtown freaks (otherwise known as my people) walk", when, what to my wondering eyes should appear - (for those of you keeping track at home, that is the second time in a week or so that I've used verses from "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" on my blog - I love myself) but two, weird homophobic men carrying signs. One sign read, "Outlaw Homosexual Acts" on one side and the other side read, "Sodomy Ruins Lives". These were men, remember. Now, I haven't met every man in the world, to be sure, but most men I have met would say that not getting a blow job would ruin their lives, not the opposite. On my way back, the campus cops were there and one guy who had made his own sign and was holding it up above his head that said, "Gay and Proud". That's a lot of drama there for the first half of my day.

After work, I tried to go running. Coadster had cross country and Stinky was still busy being the volleyball team manager, so I had a whole hour to myself. Of course, when I started running, it was sunny and nice, then suddenly, there were two clouds in the sky, it was still pretty sunny, but it started to downpour. I would have been fine with it, if I hadn't been carrying my cell phone/Mp3 player. I cut my run short and hightailed it home. It worked out okay, because Stinky got out earlier than expected and I was back in time to pick her up.

The rest of the evening, I spent trying to get my XBox live thing going on, and it didn't quite work, then my computer didn't work and then I called the cable company and they helped me figure out that my modem was kind of kooky, but it still stressed me out anyway. I was, however able to complete the circle of beginning my day being all stressed out and breathing into a bag, and then ending the day being all stressed out and breathing into a bag. It's really all about continuity, isn't it?


Remiman said...

You look pretty confident to me.

Babybull40 aka Big Hairy Woman said...

You looked fine there.. But that chick in the corner with her head bowed looks as if she is praying..

Margaret said...

love the rythmic sound of breathing in a bag

Tara said...

Speaking in front of a group isn't my favorite thing either. When I first start out, I sound kind of like a petrified chihuahua, but then I settle down a bit. Doesn't it feel good when you've got it out of the way, though?

dmarks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dmarks said...

And if that is not fun enough, call up people you don't get along with or have not heard from in ages and practice bag-breathing on the telephone while they listen. Make sure to surprise them and start with the breathing right away (no hello or other words).

About cable modems, I'm always having to reset my modem and/or router several times a week. The way to do this is to unplug the power adaptor and plug it back in, because they forgot to put power switches on the devices!!!. I guess they missed the "Device Design 101" class. It is like a car company that saves money for forgetting the ignition, so you have to hot wire it each time to start it.

booda baby said...

Circles, circles. I like them so much when you do them. And if I was in charge of helping keep your circle straight, I'd add running to the mix.

Homophobes are stupid.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

"they" say that public speaking is a greater fear than death for some...

Brando said...

XBox Live! My goodness, you went over to the dark side in a hurry.

Has carrying a sign like that every done any good? Would anyone walking along go, "you know, he's right, sodomy is ruining my life." So ridiculous.

fringes said...

I hope the staff retreat was a paid gig.

Q said...

So did you get your XBox live working? What is your name on there? We can play some uno!

laura b. said...

Sounds like a very full day and there is nothing like a few mood variations just to keep things interesting...

mist1 said...

As soon as I hear that a staff retreat is being planned, I quit. I hate staff retreats.

Anonymous said...

I think I would quit my job if I had to go on a retreat like that. Aargh.

I had to give testimony at a public meeting for my work and I sounded like an idiot. Really underwhelmed my boss with my public speaking skills. I like to stay behind the scenes.

Churlita said...


Thanks. You just can't hear my voice cracking all over the place.


She was probably praying that I'd shut-up and sit down.


Then you would love hanging out with me.


Yes, I'm glad it's over.


And my modem has an extra battery in it that I have to take out when I reset it. Don't ask.

Booda Baby,

Homophobes are dangerously stupid.


Death by public speaking is my worst fear.


I keep trying to go over to the dark side, but being to lame to figure out how to get there.


I work for the state and we're very protected by our union. If we don't get paid, they can't make us show up.


Not yet. I can't figure it out. Once I do though, I'll let you know so you can kick my ass in UNo.

Laura B.,

Well I'm moody, so all my days should be very interesting.


Some of the smarter people in my office called in sick.


I'm all for staying behind the scenes.