Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just Be Still With Me, You Wouldn't Believe What I've Been Through

Look what else just popped up in my backyard.

Today on my afternoon break, I was sitting outside reading my book and there was a lot of discussion in it about predestination and if bad things happened for a reason. Because it was the fourth anniversary of the tornado, I was probably even more reflective than normal. (who knew that was possible?) Basically, I'm more of a chaos theory kind of girl. I don't believe crappy things happen to certain people for a pointed reason. As if Buddha, or Jesus or that magical tree in your backyard or the collective conscious of the universe or whatever the hell you believe makes things work in the world has nothing better to do than sit around teaching certain people lessons?

I think bad things just happen randomly. Those Baptists who came around our neighborhood after the tornado handing out pamphlets to the kids that told them the tornado was everyone on our street's fault because of all the sinning we were doing, were full of shit. Especially when you look at natural disasters - were the people in my very residential neighborhood bigger sinners than the guys who live on fraternity row who were untouched by the tornado? I think not.

I do believe, however, that when bad things happen, it is a good opportunity to look more closely at ourselves and make sure we have our priorities in order. Sometimes I feel almost lucky that so many bad things happened to me at such a young age. It's helped me appreciate the people I have in my life while I have them and let them know how I feel. It's also helped me to try things when I was younger that I might not have if I thought I was going to live as long as I already have. A lot of things I'd never do in the place and at the age I am now, but I'm glad I did them when I was younger. I'm sure my girls get tired of hearing me say it, but I really don't think you can help what happens to you (for the most part) but you can help how you deal with it. Some crappy situations I've dealt with better than others, but hopefully I get better and better with each shit storm... Although, I'd just rather have less things to recover from.


rel said...

I agree; "bad" things happen. Of course what we learn from those things is individuaal choice.
"As if Buddha, or Jesus or that magical tree in your backyard or the collective conscious of the universe or whatever the hell you believe makes things work in the world has nothing better to do than sit around teaching certain people lessons?"
I love that thought!

Mnmom said...

I don't really believe in minute control from some entity either. But I think our choices, in actions and attitudes, have more power than we realize. But most of life is a crap shoot.

I HATE when people try to blame natural disasters on "sin". That is the stupidest concept out there.

AlienCG said...

Tornadoes happen because the atmospheric conditions are favorable for them. Bad things do happen randomly just as good things happen randomly. The perfectly beautiful weather inevitably seen within days or weeks of the tornado did not happen because the dirty sinners were wiped out. Just my two cents.

(I could on and on about this)

booda baby said...

I sometimes think 'bad' is just an adjective. It certainly feels scary and breathtaking in the middle of whatever episode, but the second there's recovery, it's just a rush of all things good. And I wouldn't get that if not for the scary, breathtaking part.

I don't know. It's like a variation on the seasons thing - the perfection of your blossoming spring depends on that bitch of a winter you survived.

Pamela said...

I seriously would have punched those Baptists in the face. Unbelievable.

I however believe that you have a little bit of control over what happens. If you learn from the shit has happened, you can make choices that makes shit less likely to happen. A bad example is if someone is beaten by her husband, she can be less likely to get into that situation.

SkylersDad said...

I am with Pamela. There would have been a lot less Baptists in the neighborhood if they had said that to me.

Churlita said...

Rel, That's exactly my point. You can learn a lot if you pay attention and look closely at yourself...in any situation.

MnMom, I think so too. There were a lot of bad things that "happened to me" when I was younger because I was a dumb ass. But there are a lot of things that have happened to me as I've aged that I couldn't do a lot about too.

AlienCG, Perfect commentary. I could go on and on...And obviously did too. Ha ha.

Booda Baby. In the case of the tornado, I think you're right. I was also thinking of my friend who got a really aggressive cancer when he was 26 and died 5 years later. he was super healthy, but his younger brother was hell bent on self-destruction at that time and even handled nuclear waste for a living and even in his forties is perfectly healthy. We all had a really hard time making sense of that one...Especially the younger brother.

Pamela, Me too. Because they scared the hell out of our kids. How irresponsible.

I agree with you on your example. That was my life when I was younger. I grew up in an abusive household, and it took me years to figure out I didn't deserve to be treated a certain way, but I finally got it. Thank god for being in my 40's and learning lessons.

Tara said...

It makes me so angry when people of a certain religion take it upon themselves to judge everyone else.

Some bad things have happened to my friends, and I can't begin to think that there was a reason for those things to happen to them. But yes, they are certainly learning experiences.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

I have always thought and even have said aloud that what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger..

I have believed for many years that bad things do happen to good people.. but not always the case.. Horrible things happen to good people but does that mean that bad people have good things happen to them? I doubt that.. Nobody deserves to be crapped on period!

egan said...

What the hell, the Baptists really told the kids that? That's fucking awful. That's straight out of the Pat Robertson playbook.

I think it's just really bad luck and typically it all seems to even out in the wash. That's what I think at least.

Churlita said...

Skyler's, There were a lot of weird folks drifting through our neighborhood after the tornado. Sadly, the Baptists were the least of our worries back then.

Tara, That's how I feel. Bad things happen to everyone, but I don't necessarily think there's a reason for it.

Mrs., I say that too..But I think if anything REALLY horrible happened to my kids, it might not make me stronger.

Egan, They gave them pamphlets to give to their parents, probably because they knew if they handed that crap to us, we'd ride them out on a rail.

laura b. said...

It is nice to have a chance to reflect on this sort of thing. I have very strong feelings about not always being able to control what happens, but ALWAYS being able to control how you handle it. That is a gift we're given