Here's my mom and my oldest sister in our house in Scottsdale.
It's kind of a weird time of year for me. Some years, I can get a little down right about now. It would have been my mom's 77th birthday on Valentine's Day. I still can't imagine what she'd look like old. I know I've already mentioned this, but she died the age that I am now. Thinking about my mom and remembering Stinky's near fatal illness that happened this time of year, can make me sad if I let it.
Here is a photo of some sepia toned cornstalks.
This year, I'm surprisingly not letting it. I am, however, just a little on the blah side. It's like all the creativity drained out of me and I can't even think what to make for dinner anymore. Then when I do try to do anything, I screw it up. Like tonight, I tried to make tuna noodle casserole. (I know. Shut-up) I had never made it before, and it seemed really easy. The big problem was that I used frozen peas that I'd had for too long, apparently, and I put too many in. They just made the whole thing taste like stale freezer. I was able to pick off the wonderful top layer of crumbled up cracker and melted cheese, and that was just fine.
Here is a couch that has been abandoned and has weeds growing through it.
I am so ready for Spring. Unfortunately, Spring isn't quite ready for me yet. So, I decided to post a few old photos most of you have already seen before. They're both moody, and that's why I like to look at them. There is something I really appreciate about how stark Iowa's landscape can be in February. It looks like I feel right around this time of year - dormant. I get very internal and I prefer to be entertained, as opposed to entertaining.
I keep thinking back to last year, when I was dating a VERY social person. I asked him once if he ever let himself be alone and he said, "Well, when I am, I just pick up the phone and call someone." I couldn't understand that. It seemed like so much work to me to have to always be "on". As much as I would say this is probably my least favorite time of the year, there's a part of it that I'm thankful for. It's the only time I allow myself to rest and be a little slothful. I'm sure it's probably really good for me, not just the relaxing, but also the reflection. I think some self-indulgence can be healthy in small doses.