Tuesday, February 10, 2009

She Says to Leave it to Me, Everything Will Be Alright

Here is what happened to the snow in my front yard after it was warm for a day or two.

Tonight I'm just giving you a quick post. I had a choir concert for Stinky tonight, I have another one for Coadster tomorrow night, my iTunes got all weird somehow and went back to an old library version from October, so we could easily lose at least a hundred songs I've put in there since then. We still have those songs on the iPod itself, but I'm afraid that once I attach it to our iTunes, it will all revert back to the old library. If you know how to make sure that doesn't happen, I would love some help with it. Thanks and smooches.

The other thing is that Stinky is back to messing up in school again. It seems I go through this about every other year with her. I love her, she's a sweet kid, but she is lazy as hell and she gets so caught up in the social aspect of school, that she forgets she's there to learn something too. Oops! I hate it when her edumakayshun gets in the way of her important socializing. I detest being the hard-ass. Which is why I try to set things up to prevent me from having to take on that role. I tell the girls my expectations, next I tell them what they stand to lose if they don't meet them and what they will gain if they exceed them. Then I follow through either way. There is no need for boundary pushing, because they won't gain anything from it. It usually works really well...That and the fact that I'm not a yeller, I'm one of those parents who just gets disappointed, and my girls REALLY hate it when I'm disappointed in them.

Soooo, this is the first time in a long, long time that I may actually have to follow through. I've told Stinky every trimester that there is no reason for her to get anything less than a C in any class. School is really easy for her, so if she does the work and hands it in on time, she will get a good grade. If she does get lower than a C in a class, she will lose her phone for the entire next tri and be grounded the first two weeks of it. This is a huge deal, because if she was being completely honest with herself, she might just say she loves her phone more than me. Right now she has a D in Algebra. Math is her easiest subject, (yeah, I'm not entirely sure we're related either) and she should be getting an A in it. So, it's been annoying me and stressing me out lately. I'll let you know if I have to take out my can of whup-ass in two weeks or not.

Well, so much for my short post. Don't get me wrong, I'm not super upset or anything. None of these things are horrible. It's more like I'm overwhelmed with stuff that should just work nicely, but isn't and now I think I should go to sleep and hope everything magically fixes itself when I wake up. It's worth a shot, right?

10 comments:

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Parenting: the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
rel

Susan said...

If you figure out how to do that thing of going to sleep and waking up to everything being better, please let me know. I'm definitely interested.

movin' down the road said...

it is overwhelming. I get worries when things dont go as planned. (yeah, so much for your short post!)

Pamela said...

Seriously, what Susan said.

And hell, if math is easy for her, set the bar higher! B at least. And you can tell her I said that, so she should be happy it's not me getting ready to whup her ass. I guess it's a good thing I didn't have kids... My parents always wondered if I didn't get A's and if I had kids I'd be a pain in the ass and expect the same. Which is often unrealistic.

sissy said...

I think a trimester without the phone is too long. Maybe a couple of weeks and then phone privleges after she has all her homework finished. Her phone is a huge big deal and it is a safety issue if she doesn't have a phone I think you need to rethink it. I guess it isnt my beeswax tho and you didn't ask me but I figured you would want to know!!

booda baby said...

It's the weirdest thing. It really does fix itself. It's those plans about how it OUGHT to fix itself that get me stressed out. So I sort of stopped having plans. It's worked beautifully. I guess it's a whole lot different when kids are involved, though, but since she already knows what the consequences will be, well, that's sort of solved, isn't it? asked the non-child-person-thingie.

Churlita said...

Rel,

That is so true, and no matter what, it's always worth it.

Susan,

I will. Things still aren't magically fixed, so I can't help you right now.

Movin',

I know and I know.

Pamela,

You can't make things so unrealistic that they figure they can't win for losing, so they might as well just do what they want, because they're going to get in trouble no matter what. It's kind of tricky walking that parenting line when they're teenagers and you don't want to give them reasons to rebel.

Moy,

We'll see. We're both working our asses off to keep it from getting to that point. But she knew what she could lose and she admitted she's here because she was messing around. So, she's made a choice.

Booda Baby,

Man, I wish it were all that simple. There's just so much worrying about whether you're doing the right thing and 2nd guessing yourself about whether you're too strict, or not strict enough, you know?

Tara said...

I think it would've been easier for me to brush off some bad grades in college if I had lived in a dorm. But instead I only lived two miles away and felt the need to tell my mom that I got a bad grade on a test or in a class and I could feel the disappointment. Thankfully I got my ass in gear by the time I graduated.

laura b. said...

I feel your frustration. A couple of my kids have been like that...totally capable, but not so interested. Guh.
Anyway, I have a feeling that Stinky will come through here.

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