Saturday, December 08, 2007

Learn to Resist the Temptation

Here is a picture of Team America on our television set. I have no idea why Stinky took this, but I think it's funny that she did.

I didn't do much today, so I have even less to write about than I normally do. I've decided to totally lame-out and post a couple of emails or email exchanges. Don't you like how I use my friends for blog fodder?

The first one I got at work. I don't like to post fun fact emails, because usually I've already received a hundred with the same info on them, but this one was different. Ready? Okay! (cheerleader clap)

98% OF AMERICANS SAY "OH SHIT" BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM MINNESOTA OR IOWA AND THEY SAY, "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!"


The second email exchange happened between me and a friend of mine. I started it by writing him:

I don't mean to bug you, and if you don't feel like dealing with it, I totally understand. But last January, your brother installed some AVG anti-virus stuff in my computer, and for the first time today, I got something that it didn't delete. It was a Trojan Horse Downloader Obfuskated. I left clicked and it gave me the option to heal, which I did and it now says its been deleted. Is that all I need to do to make it go away, or should I do something else - like sacrifice a goat in the backyard or something?

Then he wrote back and told me how to delete the viruses in my virus vault. And ended his email like this:


you only have to do sacrifices in the summer months. it's too cold out
right now. the blood doesn't flow correctly.

My question to you gentle readers is this: How worried should I be that my friend obviously knows what he's talking about when it comes to performing backyard sacrifices?

13 comments:

Mr Atrocity said...

Makes more sense than most tech-support responses I've received and I understand a fair amount of this stuff.

Anonymous said...

I just hope you have a couple of goats and a virgin laying around.

As-Aware kills Trojan horses, those things are pesky little fuckers.

Tara said...

Oh just mildly concerned. I'd just be a little suspicious if he invites people over for a barbecue in "the summer months". :)

I'm sure I'm one of those people who say "Oh shit" before driving into a ditch. Last time I did that, a belt in my engine slipped off and I had to have the dang thing repaired.

rel said...

Churlita,
For Christmas this year, send him a live turkey to be sacraficed in his oven on Christmas day. that will keep you safe for 364 days. Oh and a 12 pack to him in july could cement the deal.
I don't say Oh Shit....... ;)

booda baby said...

Worried? I say just be grateful to have that skill set available to me. I know no one accomplished in sacrifices, so what will I do if a need arises?

I think I'll email you.

Unknown said...

HAH! I loved Team America, and am totally guilty of the OH SHIT exclamation, usually followed by, Glad this is my Mom's car, not mine.

NoRegrets said...

You never know when you'll need to sacrifice, and it's much better to call a friend than to google it and potentially have someone track you down through your searches.

tagged you on my blog... easy one.

Barry Nong said...

Thats a funny movie.

I like the bit where the guy pukes and pukes and pukes......very funny

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My old boss used to refer to my ability to make sense of computer guts as voodoo. He'd moan and whine that something wasn't working and I'd come over and hit one key and it'd work like magic.

My husband doesn't respect my powers (or the bachelor's degree that has endowed me with them) and does stupid things like not tell me when something is wrong with the computer and tries to fix it himself by deleting system files.

I may one day find out how blood flows in the winter months if he doesn't cut it out.

Churlita said...

Mr Atrocity,

Yeah. IT would probably be easier for me to perform a sacrifice than to do anything with my computer.

Evil-E,

Yeah. They keep reappearing in my work computer.

Tara,

Oh yeah, I better stay away from Summer bBQ at his house.

Rel,

Turkey and a 12 pack. got it.,

Booda Baby,

You're probably right. He is my first friend who admitted to having that kind of knowledge.

Another,

I'm actually an Oh shit kind of girl myself.

No regrets,

That's true. I never thought about that dirty trail a google search can create.

I'll try to find time for the meme.

Barry Nong,

There's nothing funnier than puking and puking.

Lady,

You're hilarious. I bet your husband appreciates that about you.

Anonymous said...

that email exchange was hilarious!!

laura b. said...

So funny! I myself find it very reassuring when my friends understand animal sacrifice...

Churlita said...

Emma,

Thanks.

LauraB.,

Good. Then I'm not worried anymore.