Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Where Do We Go? How Do We Follow?

Here is a view from the bridge on Evans Street.

Well kids, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything to say. Not that that's ever stopped me before, but tonight I can't even muster enough imagination to serve you that steaming pile of crap I normally dish out each and every day. So, what I'm going to do, is write down observations about three different men I saw this week.

We have a new guy working in our office. At first I wasn't sure how he'd work out. We're all pretty weird and we crack a lot of stupid jokes. I don't think any normal person would last very long here. Today I asked the new guy if he had any plans for the weekend and he said, " I don't know. You'll have to call my wife." I like a guy who's not afraid to admit who the real boss is. I think he'll fit in just fine.

The other day I ran into my crush guy. He said, "Hey, Churlita. How are you? Can you believe how warm it is outside today?" And in my head I heard, " Hey Churlita. I am so hot for you. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me starting today?"

On Sunday, Stinky and I were in the grocery store and we saw a guy talking on one of those cell phones with the cordless headset thingy. He had to be at least my age, but he kept saying "Mom. I know. Mother, I'm sorry. I know..."into his phone. Stinky and I were laughing at the old guy trying to be all cool talking on his handsfree phone, but sounding like a junior high girl.

My friend K. happened by and said, "Did you see the guy talking on his phone? Isn't he just killing you?"

"Yeah. Stinky and I were just cracking up about how he's fighting with his mom."

"So, do you want to follow him around the store and make fun of him with me?" K. asked.

"Oh Mom, can we?" Stinky was so cute and hopeful. I hated to disappoint her, and if I had been there by myself, I would totally have gone running off to follow the poseur guy. But every once in a while, I actually try to rise above my immaturity in front of my kids. So, I restrained myself and we didn't go around acting like thirteen year old girls in order to make fun of the handsfree guy for acting like a thirteen year old girl. Aren't you proud of me?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think the only way anyone can pull off one of those glowing wireles earphone things is if your James F*ing Bond and you are flying a jet to save the World and you need both hands to work the controls of the plane, talk to Judy Dench, and be trying get the phone numner of the chick hanging on by her toenails out the exit door of said airplane while fendng off to or three villians. Even then it still looks pretty f*ing weak. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Churlita said...

Um, yeah. I wish you cold have seen this guy. You would have wanted to follow him and make fun of him too. He was no James Bond.

Anonymous said...

Not to be presumptious as I might have been a little over vinous...

but i am willing to bet he was under six feet and in sales, he was neat and wore a solid colored shiry with a simple patterned tie which was chosen for the desig to seem as if it rwas estrained but yet still exemplified his boyish exuberance and retained his need for indentity in a general sales persons portmanteau...

Anonymous said...

i used to think i was not bad at spelling

Margaret said...

obviously, when a man says it's mentions warm weather, he is talking about you, and when someone says it's a gorgeous day, I know it's my reflection in the sky...

people watching is fun.

Brando said...

They remind me a little of the guys from The Empire Strikes Bakc, wearing the headphones in Cloud City.

Churlita said...

Dex,

You nailed that one. Plus, I can spell, but proof reading my comments seems to be impossible for me.

Margaret,

So, I'm completely sane in thinking that way, right?

Brando,

That's it exactly. Too bad this guy didn't look anywhere near as badass as that.

booda baby said...

Aren't you proud of me?

No. But that's just because today's apparently a day dedicated to thinking restraint is a big fat fucking waste of time and, although tomorrow might be different, today I'd have been VERY happy to hear how you executed some excellent and much deserved ridicule.

I bet if I sat down (and someone paid me to do it), I'd have enough material for a whole theory on why it's important to smack down guys on cordless headsets having ridiculous conversations.

Churlita said...

Booda Baby,

I love you.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
1. Fits in.
2. wants me...would!
3. goofus-dufus...wouldn't.
Hmm, all round I'd say you had a pretty fair day. ;-)

I hate when I have to act grown up around my kids. Especially now that they're grown-up.

rel

Churlita said...

Remiman,

It is a certain kind of torture having to act all grown-up in front of your kids. I agree with you there.

Anonymous said...

Please use the above postings as a text book example of how to blog after polishing off a bottle of wine.

Churlita said...

So, you never got the breathalyzer installed on your keyboard, did you? As you know, I've had worse drunken commenters.