Here is a picture of some little red berries.
On Sunday afternoon about a half hour before Coadster's show choir concert, I was lounging around my house contemplating whether I could get away with wearing my pajama top and some sweats to the performance. Right before I made my final decision, my sister called to ask my advice on a very pressing matter.
She and her husband are prone to taking their very young children on quaint Sunday drives through bucolic Southern Iowa. On this particular trip, they were discussing euphemisms for male and female genitalia - because really, what else would you be talking about on a beautiful Sabbath day? My sister called me, thinking I might be able to provide assistance. (I'm going to assume she asked me because I used to work in gynecology and not because I'm crude and inappropriate in general)
"Hey Sissy, T. and I were just talking about how there were tons of appropriate words for little kids to use for penis and we couldn't think of anything to use for the vagina that wasn't raunchy sounding. T. thought it was okay to use the P word, but I said no way," she explained.
"P word? You mean, pudendum?" I asked.
"No. Pussy." We both laughed and then I agreed with her.
"Pussy is a bad word."
"Okay, but can you think of any good words? For boys you can use, peter or pee pee or ding dong, but what is there for girls?"
I looked at the clock and realized I only had fifteen minutes to get to the show, so I told my sister I'd get back to her on it. I also realized my decision, through lack of time, had been made for me. I would tuck my pajama top into my nylon sweats and leave my sweatshirt on, no matter how warm it got in the auditorium. Surely, I wouldn't stick out too badly amongst all the people still dressed up from church, would I?...Okay, I'd sit as far to the back as possible.
So, this is a few days late, but here is a list of euphemisms for the vagina. I'll leave it up to you if any can be considered appropriate in polite conversation. You know how people are always talking about vaginas in polite conversation?
Ready? Here we go:
sex organ, private parts or privates, genitals, genitalia, reproductive organ, labia, pussy, snatch, bearded clam, (my most hated term) quim, beaver, twat, box, trim, strange, cunt, (okay I lied. This is my most hated term) cooch, lips and envelope.
So, the answer to my sister's question, is no. There really isn't an appropriate substitute for little girls to call their vaginas - unless you want to use something non-gender specific, like privates or genitalia.