Thursday, November 09, 2006

Next Door the TV's Flashing Blue Frames on the Wall

Here is a picture of an old pick-up truck.

A friend of mine just recently signed up for one of those on-line dating things. I don't think I could ever do that. Not that I think they're bad, but they would just be bad for me. There are so many parts of it that stress me out - you have to do some self-promotion, you have to leave your house to meet the person, you have to have an uncomfortable conversation where you (and when I say you, I mean me) would inevitably get really loud and out of nowhere say something like, "He, he. I have really ugly feet. Hee, hee. HA!", and then you have to watch the poor man run out of the building through the wall leaving the imprint of his body like on the cartoons.

My friend has had no luck with the on-line dating service. She is beautiful and smart and creative and funny as hell. I'm not sure what she put on her profile, but so far the kind of men who've answered it, are guys who listed shooting guns, drinking beer and playing pool as their favorite sports. There's nothing wrong with that in general, but those men would just not be right for my friend. She said she thinks she'll check out another site that is supposed to attract more creative/"funkier in a good way" types. She asked me if I thought I would ever be interested in signing up to that site as well. I told her that I decided to subscribe to HBO instead. She laughed, but I was only partially kidding.

Here is a list of why HBO is better for me than subscribing to an on-line dating service:

1) I like to watch.

2.) I don't have to leave my house.

3.) The cable company tries to woo me. I don't have to woo it. I have all the power.

4.) With On-Demand I get what I want, when I want it. I can demand the same thing all the time, or mix it up with several other things and no one's feelings get hurt. I can also fast forward if something's annoying and taking too long, or rewind if I wasn't quite satisfied the first time around.

5.) HBO will never tell me I'm not enough for it, but it may end up being too much for me in a year when this special deal runs out.

6.) HBO will only insult my intelligence if I let it.

7.) I find HBO very attractive.

8.) HBO is good in bed.

So, for the next year anyway, I'm committed to it.


Anonymous said...

I am loving HBO except its one of the weird ones her in hote, HBO Signature...but just was watching North Country for first time and caught most of Imaginary Heroes...both not bad.

Churlita said...

On Demand they have the mini-series on Queen Elizabeth that I think I will start this weekend and I also want to see their movie on FDR. Boy, do I know how to pick 'em or what?

Remiman said...

HBO? Nope, can't do it!
I'm a touchy feely kinda guy.

Trevor Jackson said...

I lettered in beer drinking in high school. Almost started as a stumble-on in college, but I tore my schlitzicus my senior year and had to give up my dreams.

Margaret said...

mmmm, HBO is good in bed

I like to torture myself. I did for about a year, went on 23 1st dates, 17 of those called for a second date that I could not bring myself to go on, 3 never called again, and 3 turned into bad 2nd or 3rd dates.... in economic terms, match more than paid for it's self in free food and drinks, but I'd rather have HBO!

Anonymous said...

FDR with Brannagh or is that something else? That could be good. Theie was, I think made for HBO, a movie with Albert Finney as Churchill that was excellent, it focused on the time leading up to WWII.

Churlita said...


You're married. That changes everything.


I'm sorry you lost your chance for the drunken olympics. Have you moved on to shooting guns instead now?


The whole concept makes sense. People keep telling me that there are probably tons of single guys in town but I never meet them because I work in an office full of women and rarely go out.

The reality of it is that I know exactly what I want and I'm not willing to settle and it seems like there is so much to sift through to find anyone even close.

I would like to be able to just window shop and check out what's on the site without having to register or anything. I'm definitely curious.


That's the one. Cynthia Nixon plays Eleanor, I think. I may get to it this weekend, but we'll see.

Sarah said...

You are so right about HBO being a better bet. I signed up for eHarmony (with the gaggingly happy - and gorgeous - couples on white commercial) a couple months ago and it is ROUGH. I'd done match and salon before, and those are just lame because of the pickins on there - but this is a new level of lame because it's really hard to tell WHY you are matched with the people, PLUS you have to spend all kinds of time jumping through the communication hoops and it's too much! I still haven't met anyone in real life. Plus it's expensive. And why all the IT guys? (No offense, but...?)

Sarah said...

P.S. The Helen Mirren miniseries is good (she is awesome in it because she is awesome), but I thought it oddly paced. We'll have to talk after you see it!

Churlita said...

Isn't E-Harmony the Christian site where they don't let gays on there? They probably put all the heathens together and assume they're all the same. What was the OKCupid thing you did, was that a dating service? My friend was using Match and now she's going to try Vibe. (the funkier people one)I'll let you know how that works for her...or doesn't.

And yes, I love Helen Mirren too. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done watching it.

Trevor Jackson said...

At least with, say, Curb Your Enthusiasm, you don't have to Settle for Brian.

Yes, this guy's for real. Here's the NPR story I heard about him last week. Apparently, even eHarmony rejected his application.

No guns. I leave those to politicians.

Churlita said...

I've actually read about him before. I can't remember where now. Maybe from the NPR thing. And while I'm not the biggest LArry DAvid fan, I wouldn't settle for Brian either. Apparently, he doesn't need me to, he's found plenty of women are.

Mark said...

Hey Churlita,

Completely off topic, but I've been making some connections in my head lately. A few posts back you spoke of your friend Ed who went on tour recently. You wouldn't be speaking of Ed G. would you? A band I was in several years ago played a couple of shows at Gabes with him and he was such a likable fellow (and very talented with a well-deserved following). I didn't live in IC at the time, but a few of my other band mates did and I think they were fairly good friends with him.

Anyway, that just struck me recently, and I was curious if we are talking about the same Ed.

Churlita said...

His last name is Gray. Is that the same guy? He's an awesome musician and a really good guy. Who are your friends? Are they some of the Fairfield musician crowd who play around here? Now I'm really curious.

julie in l.a. said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You've just made life incredibly easier for me. I usually like to make my own decisions, but on this one, you see, I couldn't. I have now decided to subscribe to HBO instead of fill-in-the-blank online dating service. Now, if I could just figure out how to get HBO to take out the trash and be passive aggressive when we argue...

Mark said...

Very cool. Yes, Ed Gray is the guy. My friends that know him are Greg P. who is presently in the band The Scene is Now in NYC (I just noticed that Ed is on his MySpace friends list) and Mike H., who was mostly known for his Mighty Feeble recording label when he lived in IC (he now lives in North Carolina, I believe).

When we played at Gabe's (probably 1995 and '96) we were most likely called Mad Dash for the Cake (though we changed our name so often this can only be considered a guess.) Mike H. was the only one of us who actually lived in IC at the time, but I believe Greg came to know Ed quite well, too. All of them (Ed, Greg, and Mike) are great musicians and great people.

Greg and Mike also played in other bands around the area, and Greg and I did some folksy banjo/guitar work under the name Henry C. Cobb Jr. and Banjo Joe. I was Henry.

It's been a long time since I thought of those days.

Churlita said...

Julie in LA,

Maybe there's some kind of upgrade you can get that will make it do that. I'll have to call the cable company today.


Is Mike a little younger and from Ottumwa? I think he was or still might be dating my friend Libby.

I don't think I knew Greg, though. What a small world.

Mark said...

Heh heh, yeah, that's the same Mike. He and Libby are married now and have a child!

Churlita said...

Wow. I love Libby. I bet she is an awesome mom. She used to babysit my girls when they were little and they loved her too. I heard rumors that they were thinking about moving back here and it made me very, very happy.

Mark said...

I've heard some of the same rumors. I haven't talked to Mike since my wedding (October, 2003), but I ran into a mutual friend recently who told me they were thinking about moving back to this area and IC was one of the possibilities.

Churlita said...

I'll let you know if I hear anything more concrete.