A friend of mine just recently signed up for one of those on-line dating things. I don't think I could ever do that. Not that I think they're bad, but they would just be bad for me. There are so many parts of it that stress me out - you have to do some self-promotion, you have to leave your house to meet the person, you have to have an uncomfortable conversation where you (and when I say you, I mean me) would inevitably get really loud and out of nowhere say something like, "He, he. I have really ugly feet. Hee, hee. HA!", and then you have to watch the poor man run out of the building through the wall leaving the imprint of his body like on the cartoons.
My friend has had no luck with the on-line dating service. She is beautiful and smart and creative and funny as hell. I'm not sure what she put on her profile, but so far the kind of men who've answered it, are guys who listed shooting guns, drinking beer and playing pool as their favorite sports. There's nothing wrong with that in general, but those men would just not be right for my friend. She said she thinks she'll check out another site that is supposed to attract more creative/"funkier in a good way" types. She asked me if I thought I would ever be interested in signing up to that site as well. I told her that I decided to subscribe to HBO instead. She laughed, but I was only partially kidding.
Here is a list of why HBO is better for me than subscribing to an on-line dating service:
1) I like to watch.
2.) I don't have to leave my house.
3.) The cable company tries to woo me. I don't have to woo it. I have all the power.
4.) With On-Demand I get what I want, when I want it. I can demand the same thing all the time, or mix it up with several other things and no one's feelings get hurt. I can also fast forward if something's annoying and taking too long, or rewind if I wasn't quite satisfied the first time around.
5.) HBO will never tell me I'm not enough for it, but it may end up being too much for me in a year when this special deal runs out.
6.) HBO will only insult my intelligence if I let it.
7.) I find HBO very attractive.
8.) HBO is good in bed.
So, for the next year anyway, I'm committed to it.