Monday, April 02, 2007

Spill the Wine

Here is a construction site on North Dodge Street last Fall.

I know I've mentioned on here several times before how much I like living in Iowa City. It is an overeducated town of freaks, and I love that about it. Another thing I love, is when very different types of people are all stuck in one room. In these situations, I sometimes forget that I'm not invisible or that I'm not at home watching it all on TV.

On Saturday afternoon, I finally made it to Jiffy Lube to get the oil changed in my car. Just in case you're interested, Jiffy Lube has surprisingly immaculate bathrooms. Which has nothing to do with my post at all. I'm not sure why that made such a big impression on me, although I have a feeling it might be because I'm pathetic and need to save up and buy my ass a life.

So, wait. Where was I? Oh yeah, I sat in the waiting room for about a half hour while my car was being serviced. At first, it was just me and a frat looking guy, an older man in Carhartts, and a more artsy looking college girl. We all sat around reading the out-of-date magazines from the rack and determinedly not establishing eye contact. Then a mom walked in with four junior high aged girls. The frat boy and the Carhartt guy left and then it was just me and the artsy girl and the mom with the teenagers. The artsy girl took out her cell phone and started talking very loudly and pretentiously about wine. The junior high girls got really quiet while the artsy girl went on and on and on and on about what she liked and why and my head hurt almost as much as it did when I watched Sideways.

I then made a big mistake. I looked up from the interview with Will Farrell that I was reading, and saw all the teenagers rolling their eyes and opening and closing their hands to make the "too much talky talky sign" behind the artsy girls back. When they noticed me looking at them, we all cracked-up. The good thing was, that I didn't even have to feel bad for hurting the pretentious girl's feelings. She just kept loudly describing wine flavors to some poor sap, completely oblivious, until my car was all better and I got to run, screaming out of there.

16 comments:

Les Quinn said...

I judge wine by the label...if its got an interesting or nice coloured label I buy it...after the first glass it all tastes the same to me.

Sarah said...

Hilarious! I love that you all cracked up. But of course you did! (I would've too.)

Did you notice there is like "Jiffy Lube TV" on in the waiting room? When I was there last theey were showing a special about The Office intercut with Jiffy Lube commercials. It was weird. I didn't realize Jiffy Lube was so bigtime. Or something.

Margaret said...

haaaa, you really know how to work the jr high set!

Sornie said...

It never dawned on me that pretentious artsy types have to get their vehicle's oil changed too. Sometimes I just assume that they have some type of car us normals can't get our hands on.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Clean toilets, a wine dark (that's a female dork), and teens being real...what more could you ask for?;-)
Oh ya...an oil change.
rel

I love you in the face said...

"Are you chewing gum?!" is my favorite line from Sideways and I also like when Virginia Madsen ruins boring wine talk forever by describing her love for wine basically as full on sex. I like to drink wine (a lot) but my knowledge of it covers the difference between red, white and... bad. I recall going to liqour stores with my friend KT and picking wine solely for price. I have a pretty good knowledge of wine varieties from $9 to $20.

Rachel said...

I hate wine and I hated the movie Sideways.
I like Jiffy Lube though. Anything with the word lube is good for me.

fringes said...

Nice to know about the bathrooms. Thanks.

booda baby said...

I'm not kidding, there's something really mindnumbing about wine fans in the Midwest. I'm crazy about wine but in the midwest, it starts feeling like some wacked out competition for kind of talking nasally and using all the who-uses-those words and all that crap. You can drop into a little wine boutique here, use normal words to describe a super duper delicious wine and - just like it SHOULD be - they get it and can turn you on to something in your budget.

It's too bad you didn't make fun of artsy girl so she could see you. She really needs to get over that Wine Superiority Thang. It ruins anything that's fun about it for me and turns people off wine.

So there.

egan said...

Huh, so the wine girl was quiet until the four teenaged girls came racing in? Is this correct? If I were a college student without kids, I imagine I would likely do the same thing. Pick up the phone and call some friends to chat.

Churlita said...

Les Quinn,

So, is that kind of like judging a book by its cover?

Sarah,

They didn't have Jiffy Lube TV on here. They had it on ESPN. I wonder what JLTV looks like.

Margaret,

It was all downhill for me after jr. high. Everyone else matured, damn it.

Sornie,

It was kind of fun to see her at Jiffy Lube.

Rel,

You're right. I had it all on Saturday afternoon.

ILYITF,

Yeah, VM's whole long speech about wine, was the thing that made my head hurt.

Rachel,

I like wine, don't get me wrong. I just don't understand the need to talk about it a whole bunch, unless you're trying to decide what to order. The word, lube cracks me up too.

Fringes,

I like to think I'm doing some good public service with the blog.

Booda BAby,

that's exactly what i mean. She was using so many words to describe every kind of wine she'd ever heard of.

I think if she saw us laughing, she would have just felt more superior. You know, because we were obviously townies who didn't know no better.

Churlita said...

Egan,

I'm all for chatting...Unless it's loud and pretentious.

evil-e said...

I will have to check out the JiffyLube bathroom the next time I am in there.

Sticking people in waiting areas is like being cast in a science project being submitted by alien psychology students for their first year lab grade. You feel like other forces are at work..."why did they send this one to wait with me?"

Churlita said...

Evil-E,

I know, and that's exactly what I love about it.

broinlaw said...

Churly,
For some interesting wine talk - check out this former Bulldog who is drinking and making some good stuff....
www.cellarrat.org

Bro-

Churlita said...

Bro-in-law,

I'll do that as soon as I get home from work, yo.